“Go get ‘em, rock star.” She winked and linked arms with Manny. “Come on, Manny, we’ve got a bandmate to babysit.” She was so fucking cool.
“Dude, I’ll get us some pitchers.” Spider headed to the bar.
I looked back down at the blonde, smiled and winked. “I am. And you are?”
“Adrienne.” She whined her name then leaned in toward me and stood up on her toes. Her face was just a couple inches from mine, and I could smell about twelve tequila shots on her breath.
“Who are you here with, Adrienne?” I’m sure she took it as my way of finding out if she was available, but I truly just wanted to know who to drop her off with when I was ready to end our conversation.
“Just a couple friends of mine, but I’d like to go home with you.” She winked and fell into my chest. I steadied her with my hands on her shoulders.
“Well, darlin’, I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” I felt like a dick, but, even if I wasn’t madly in something with Becki, Adrienne wasn’t my type. As old fashioned as it sounded, I wasn’t made for one night stands or a quick fuck in the coatroom, and nothing, not even Adrienne, was going to change that about me.
She started to say something, but I noticed a head full of messy black hair out of the corner of my eye. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end even before I turned to see who it was.
Max had one hand on each of Becki’s shoulders as if he was trying to hold her still. There were too many people crowded around Adrienne and me to see Becki’s face, but I worried. My fists clenched and released then clenched again at my sides. I was more concerned about Becki’s reaction to me stepping in than I was about taking a few hits from Max.
“I’m sorry, Adrienne, my friend needs me. It was really nice meeting you.” Just then her drunk friends barreled up to us, which reminded me at the beginning of our short conversation I’d been concerned about just leaving her alone in such a crowded place. I had almost done that exact thing. It was obvious Becki trumped my chivalry. I smiled and nodded at her friends’ giddy behavior just to be polite, but when I turned back around, Becki and Max were gone.
I stormed toward the edge of the dance floor where Max and Becki had been standing and looked around. Drunk people bumped me off balance, and a couple girls ran their hands along my back, but I didn’t pay attention to anything except searching the room for Becki’s bright blue top. I was livid. I was ready to strangle Max with my bare hands, but only after I beat the hell out of him with it first.
I had tunnel vision. I was panicked. God, if anything happened to Becki, I would never forgive myself. And where were Manny and Bones? Why were they not all sticking together like I thought they were going to? I must’ve spun around in that same spot ten times, each time scanning the room for Becki. I saw Bones and Manny step out of the men’s room, and I took off. I bolted between kissing couples, I pushed people out of my way, all the while trying to get the guys’ attention. They appeared to be looking around just as frantically as I had just been.
“Becki! Where is she?
“Dude, we were only in there a second. We told her to hang out at the bar.”
“Max is here. I saw him with his hands on her, and then they disappeared.”
I couldn’t catch my breath. My grey t-shirt clung to me as sweat came to the surface of my skin. I ran my hands through my hair, and the three of us stood there like idiot dads who’d lost their kids at the toy store. Shit.
“Manny, were you guys anywhere else in this place? Are there any other dance floors or anything?”
“Yeah, the VIP rooms are upstairs. Maybe they’re up there?”
“I’m gonna fuck him up. Where are the stairs?”
“Cal, listen, maybe it looks worse than it is. Becki’s not gonna do anything with that douchebag.” Manny was the eternal optimist.
“Not willingly. Go!” My heart pounded so violently, I was sure it would burst through my chest at any minute.
I don’t remember going up the stairs. Suddenly, we were there at the top, all scanning the room for Max. The bouncer at the door nodded when he saw our VIP passes and granted us permission to be there. It was a big room with small seating areas partitioned off with sheer fabric.
“Cal!” Spider was about fifteen feet from us, standing by a tall table with three pitchers on it. “Becki’s with Max, over there. I followed them up here. I was just about to text you.” It was so loud, I’m really not sure if I actually heard him or just read his lips. Spider and I were the closest of the four of us. We were all super close, but Spider and I really tuned into each other’s brains. He knew by the look on my face that I was ready to go ape shit if I didn’t lay my eyes on her.
“Thanks, man.” I grabbed one of the pitchers and sucked down what felt like half a six pack. It travelled cold and stinging down to my gut. I slammed the pitcher back on the table and bent a little at the waist with my hands on my thighs. I needed to handle this the right way. I had to calm down first. I couldn’t get my head out of my heart, though. Max was with Becki, and I was pretty sure she had no interest in being with him.
Manny and Bones stood at the table with Spider as I watched what was happening behind the sheer fabric that was lit with pink and red recessed floor lights. Becki’s back was to me, so I couldn’t see her face, but her body was completely still. Her back was straight, and she sat sideways on the couch facing Max. One arm rested on the back of the couch, and her head leaned against her left fist. Her head flew back, and her laugh travelled back to where we stood. What the hell? I grabbed the pitcher again and barely swallowed, just poured the amber liquid into my blood stream. I didn’t need to be wasted to kick someone’s ass, and it would take more than a pitcher of beer to get me buzzed. But, there’s a level of numbness that comes just before the buzz creeps up on you. Punches don’t faze you in the least when that numbness sets in. I didn’t need to be numb to fuck Max up, but I needed to be cool and not instigate anything when I approached them. Trouble was, I didn’t know what it was Becki and I were doing, so there was a small part of me that worried he’d enamored her.
“Dude. Listen.” Bones yelled over the techno vibe. “She’s our manager. She’s supposed to be schmoozing with the big guys, right?” Bones rarely had a good point but that was one.
“Right.” I didn’t take my eyes off them. I blinked hard a few times then took a couple deep breaths to calm my pulse, which was out of fucking control. I felt like I’d run three miles between getting to the top of the stairs and where we stood.
It was a strange duality. It was like everything in the room moved in slow motion, but, at the same time, everything my body did was revved up to Mach speed. I saw Max lean in, and I saw Becki plant her hands firmly on his chest. She leaned back into the arm of the couch, distancing herself. The wide neckline of her top slipped down over her shoulder, and the fucker leaned down and licked her uncovered bare shoulder.
I traveled across the room to their little nook in no time at all. On my way to her, there appeared to be a struggle. Max had the advantage and with one knee on the couch, he leaned over her. His hand moved up the inside of her thigh and under the edge of that short damn skirt she wore. He was about to have his liver removed through his nose when I got my hands on him.
“You fucking asshole!” I tore the sheath from the ceiling and threw it to the side, and in the same swoop with my arms I pushed Max off Becki. She screamed, and he regained his balance and stood and smiled. Smiled.
“Becki! The guys are over there. Go!”
Becki stood up right next to me. “Don’t you bark at me, Calon Ridge!” My face spun to hers, and the disgust that flared in her eyes was vile.
“Becki! Go! I don’t want you near this!” I turned back toward Max. I’d allowed my eyes off him for way too long.
“This? What is this about, Calon?” Max was a dumbass for challenging me with semantics.
“You’re hands all over Becki. That’s what this is about, Max!” I motioned between
us with my hand.
Just then the beat of “Tsunami” by Dvvbs and Borgeous bounced the floor. The music was so loud it’s all I could hear. Max’s mouth flapped, but I had no idea what he said. I didn’t need to hear anything to read his cocky swagger as he walked toward me or the two middle fingers he shot up when he got within reach. That’s when it all went down.
Max threw the first punch, seemingly in response to what he knew was coming his way. He caught me in the jaw, and I heard Becki shriek my name, but my head sprung back instantly, and my eyes locked on his. My fist connected with the side of his head right at his temple, and I felt something in my hand crack, but I felt no pain.
“Calon James! Knock it the fuck off!” Becki’s voice was garbled, like it was coming at me through liquid.
I wanted to just leave with her and keep her safe, but the cocky motherfucker in front of me needed to feel the line I was drawing in the sand. He came at me again, this time he ducked and ran straight into my chest with his head. I curled my arms under his and brought them up violently and made contact with his chest with a deep thunk. I could feel the hit reverberate through my forearms. He staggered back, but his feet caught up with his body and he kept his footing.
“You think you’re such a fuckin’ hot shot, don’t you?” He was calling me the hot shot?
I shook out the hand that hit him, and then ran it through my hair. I shoved the other hand in the pocket of my jeans. “Are we done, Max?” I had to yell over the music, and he was less than three feet from me. I drew my line. He needed to understand his boundaries if we were going on tour together, but I didn’t need to kill him. We could be done as soon as he got the point.
“Dude, we’re done when I walk out the front door with Becki.” His lip curled when he said her name, which sent a shock through my body I’d never felt before. I could only imagine what went through his mind as her name rolled off his tongue. We weren’t done.
I lost it and caught him in the head again with my fist. No doubt, I felt that one. I took another shot and made abrupt contact with his jaw then another. Becki was yelling, but I couldn’t make sense of anything she said, the music was too loud. Someone grabbed me from behind and pulled me back. “Dude, he’s not worth it, let’s bounce. C’mon, Cal, don’t do this.” Spider, always the voice of reason.
I nodded and wrestled my arms back from him. I took a deep breath and calmly walked back over to where Max was crouched, trying to get up.
“Max, you were out of line.” I crouched down in front of him and watched him wipe the blood coming from his nose with the back of his hand. I didn’t want to apologize. I wanted to continue smashing his head with my fist, but that wasn’t how I wanted people to see me. “Stay away from her. She’s not yours to take.”
“And I’m not yours to take either!” Becki’s voice was loud and clear as the song ended. I stood and turned to her. She didn’t say another word, but her eyes said it all. I’d disappointed her. That revelation stung way worse than if she’d just punched me in the gut.
“ONE SINGLE ROOM, please.” I cleared my throat so the vibrato of my voice would appear to be something other than the betrayal of my tough exterior.
The elevator doors closed, and when it lifted I got that familiar wave in my stomach. I thought back to one of the nights in my dorm with Calon. He and I were in my dorm talking. On that particular night I challenged him to a duel of sorts. I bet him a back rub that in just three sentences I could describe a sexier scene than he could.
“LADIES FIRST.” HE raised an eyebrow and shifted his body so I fell back into his lap. He lightly touched my hair and all I could think about was the part of him my head was resting on. I had to cross my legs to ease the pulsing between them. I had no idea what the hell was wrong with me, it was so odd that I had not yet undressed this god that shared the space on my bed with me. I wasn’t shy or awkward when it came to letting a guy know what I wanted. Gracie did that good girl thing way too well; made me look like a slut. She always laughed when I said that.
“They sat at the corner table with the least amount of light.” I held up one finger, signaling the end of my first sentence. “She reached under the table, and he’d already freed his cock from his jeans, which just added to the wetness already soaking in her panties.” I raised my second finger. “As she reached for him, his hand shot up her skirt and in one movement, pushed her panties to the side and entered her with two thick fingers.” I held my three fingers in his face and made a cocky clicking sound with my mouth.
“Not bad for a beginner.” Calon chuckled.
“Beginner? I do believe I felt my headrest rise during those three sentences.”
“Nah, just so much in there—”
“Yeah, yeah, don’t change the subject, rock star. Gimme what you got.”
He cleared his throat, laced his fingers, stretched his arms out in front of him, and cracked his knuckles. He bumped his head to either shoulder and took a deep breath. It was all I could do to not crack up. He really was a goof ball. He silently raised one finger, counting his first sentence before he even spoke.
“He pressed her tight against the mirrored wall of the elevator, leaned down just far enough to reach under her thighs and lift her so her tight ass was above his hips. His pants fell to the floor, and before the change that jingled across the floor stopped spinning, he was inside her. With each thrust he pounded into her, she let out a whimper until the thrusts quickened and they shattered from a climax so intense they crumbled to the floor, spent and drenched in lust.”
I stared up at his face. He waved three long fingers between us. My mouth hung open like an idiot, and I had no smart comeback, no sarcastic stab. I was speechless, and my panties were soaked. I sat up and continued to gawk.
“Roll over, you cocky son of a bitch, you won.” He flashed that flawless smile that undid me a little further each time I saw it and lifted his shirt over his head then laid face down on my bed. I straddled him to rub his back. I knew just a few rolls of my hips and I’d come right there as I sat on his ass.
I SMILED AT the memory, swiped my keycard, and walked into my room. It was dark and cold inside. My smile faded when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror that took up most of the wall of the entry hallway. My face was sad, and my eyes held a confusion I wasn’t sure even I could pinpoint. I threw the bags I’d grabbed from the guys’ room onto the floor and kicked off my shoes. I bolted both locks on the door and walked across the cold tile of the bathroom. Another mirror. Dammit. I turned on the water and looked at my reflection staring back at me. I watched as the steam erased me completely.
I stood motionless under the hot water. I wished the water that streamed down over me and left red hot trails, could erase the confusion in my heart as easily as the steam had erased my reflection. Part of me loved that Calon took on the knight in shining armor role, but a bigger part of me was pissed that he assumed I needed him to do that. I don’t need anyone. And I don’t ever want to feel like someone’s belonging. There was a big difference between belonging and being a belonging. I didn’t mind the former, but I despised the latter.
I could hear my phone vibrate on the bathroom counter, but it wasn’t going to pull me from the state I was in. I’d never felt so into someone, but, at the same time, I felt so alone. I never expected I’d allow a relationship leave me feeling on edge and unsure. Maybe it was just me. I needed a good Gracie fix. I finished my shower at a quicker pace than I’d started it. I wrapped my hair in one puffy white towel and my body in another then grabbed my phone. There were thirteen missed calls, all from Calon. I dialed Gracie and jumped under the covers of the one lonely bed in my lonely room.
“Becki? You okay?” Her voice was gravelly, and I realized what time it was.
“Gracie, I’m so sorry. I had no idea it was after two o’clock. Go to sleep. I’ll call you in the morning.”
“Becki, it’s okay. We were watching a movie, and I fell asleep on the couch. It’s a blow ‘em up, blo
od and guts one, anyway. I’d be happy to leave Jake and Sam to their testosterone fest.” I heard her whisper something, then it sounded like she jogged back to his bedroom. “Okay. I’m all ears. I’ve had a quick power nap, so I’m wide awake.”
“So, tonight, Calon beat the shit out of Max, the lead singer of Smiling Turkeys, because he saw him make a move on me at a bar tonight.”
“Oh, Becki, that had to be the hottest thing ever.” She made a Mmm sound under her breath.
“It wasn’t. Well, it was. But I got pissed and left. Took a taxi alone back to the hotel and got myself my own room. I am livid. Like I can’t handle a lanky guy with wandering hands?” I leaned forward and rested my forehead on the duvet cover that draped across my bended knees.
“Becki, stop. You realize where all this is coming from, right? You can see that, can’t you?”
“I… huh? I don’t know what you mean. Do I? Should I?” My head pounded, and I was lost in the thought that I could be so unaware of what was going on inside me while Gracie could hit it right on the head.
“Becki, think about it. Remember how Jesse was?” A set of deep brown eyes flashed into my mind, and I could almost hear his voice saying my name. Jesse was my high school boyfriend, and he was incredibly possessive. He beat up more than one guy just for looking at me for too long in the hallway. He sent Jonathan Terrence to the hospital after he went into a seizure during one of Jesse’s insane smack downs. It disgusted me.
“But, Gracie, Calon is nothing like Jesse. God, Jesse was sixteen. Calon’s twenty-two.” I rubbed my head and tried to focus.
“You’re right. He doesn’t even compare to the man Calon is. But what happened tonight may have triggered your memories of Jesse, which in turn triggered a Jesse reaction. You’ve gotta let your guard down with Calon, Becki. You’ll destroy him if you don’t let him in. He’s super intuitive but also doesn’t believe he deserves good things, and, trust me, you are the goodest thing he knows.”
Above the Noise Page 6