by Liv Bennett
It’s beyond ridiculous, me, forcing the man I love to announce his eternal commitment to another woman. But, I do it anyway, because his happiness is the only thing I care about at this point.
In a desperate last effort, I take his hand into mine and place the box into his palm. “This is what your mother would have wanted. Do the right thing.”
CH 5 - The Wrong Ring
~
An engagement ring? Seeing my mother’s ring again and holding the box in my hand makes my decision to marry all too real.
Me, marrying a woman, officially taking her into my family, and becoming responsible for her in every possible way?
Nope, I don’t think so. I guess that kind of reaction is exactly why a ring is vital to a major, life-changing step like engagement. It turns the fantasy into reality.
My eyes drift to Scarlet, and the idea of being responsible for her happiness doesn’t seem so unappealing. That’s why I don’t push the ring back into Julie’s hand and instead slip it into the inner pocket of my jacket.
Turning to Julie, I let my eyes sweep her from head to toe. She seems happier and relaxed, so unusual for her. I wonder if Nick has something to do with it. “So, how’s Nick treating you?”
She blushes and shakes her head, feigning anger. “He’s a very sweet guy and treats me like a queen.”
“Like the queen you truly are,” I mumble despite the pang of disgust running through me.
Sweet, my ass!
The one time Chloe managed to have a secret boyfriend in high school, the guy had his brother take pictures of them while kissing and threatened to give them to Michael if she didn’t pay him a thousand bucks. Prior to that incident, Chloe had once called him “sweet.” Yikes!
I realize my hands have formed into fists as I crane my head to take an extensive look at Nick to gauge what kind of man he actually is. He never struck me as a trustable guy. He might be after Julie for all the wrong reasons. He might be hoping for better pay negotiations when renewing his contract, better roles after the end of his current contract, or even a stronger position in the cast.
There’s a long list of advantages that comes with dating Julie. But he should be aware he’ll find himself beaten up and unemployed if he ever so much as causes her to shed a teardrop because of him.
“Stop glaring at him!” Julie reaches for my shoulder to nudge me back to her. “He’s a fine guy. You don’t need to worry about me. Focus on your speeches on the red carpet.”
I turn back to see her grin in a sheer satisfaction; then her eyes wander toward him and a look of desire lights them up. What the hell? I’ve never given it a thought before, and only now do I realize the two must be having sex already. The thought is just as revolting as thinking of Chloe in bed with some guy.
“Okay. Whatever. You’re a smart girl. You know how to look after yourself.”
“You bet I do.” She squeezes my arm softly before pulling her hand back, and I note the sudden draw of air through her parted lips. I grin. My muscles never cease to impress women, even the most asexual ones, like Julie.
With my flirty grin, perfected after decades of practice, I wink at her and lean down to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.
She mumbles, “What are you doing?” with contempt in her voice but lets me kiss her.
Right at that point, Scarlet approaches me from behind and slides her arm around my waist. “What are you guys whispering to each other?”
“We were just talking about your engagement ring,” Julie explains quickly, obviously mortified by my unexpected peck.
Scarlet’s eyes grow wide in excitement, and she claps her hands like a little girl waiting for her pony. “My ring?” Her eyes move back and forth between Julie and me, curiosity getting the best of her, leaving nothing of her usual sweetness and coolness that always takes the red carpet by storm.
I shake my head playfully, giving her no clue whatsoever regarding the ring. “Let’s go, princess. We have some earth-shaking news to break.”
CH 6 - JULIE
~
Cameras flash. An ocean of people launch toward the red carpet as Scarlet and Zane make their appearance. Each is an instant head-turner, but together, they’re magnets. From young to old, everyone cheers and calls out their names, reaching out their hands to get a piece of the enchanting couple.
Scarlet waves her hand graciously along with a hypnotizing smile, while Zane stands tall and strong next to her¸ like a statute of high supremacy.
Reporters shove their microphones in Scarlet and Zane’s direction, all singing the same inquiring song only with different lyrics.
Have you seen McKenzie’s video?
Do you have anything to comment on McKenzie Richmond’s statement?
Have you had any male partners?
Is it true that you’ve slept with over two thousand women?
And the funniest of all, are you the leader of a secret sex sect?
That guess isn’t far from the truth, though. With the number of women he’s had sex with, Zane could easily found his own secret sex sect. Well, at least he could have in the past. Now he seems to only have eyes for Scarlet.
“How are you holding up?” Lindsay sneaks in next to me with a gentle pat on my shoulder.
I tear my gaze away from Zane on the other side of the glass door and turn to Lindsay with a forced smile to show her I’m nothing but great. “I’m good.”
“I don’t believe you,” she whispers and peeks left and right.
I shrug and slide the strap of my purse over my shoulder. “He seems happy with her.”
“And, that’s enough for you?”
I inhale and glance up at Zane one more time. “I guess so. He’s suffered a lot all his life. This is the first time I’ve seen him carefree and contented.”
“So, you’re giving up?”
I nod and shift slightly to have a better view of Zane through the crowd. “I can’t exactly force myself on him. If he wanted me, he could have had me. He didn’t, so there’s no reason to discuss it to death. Besides, I have Nick.”
“Do you love Nick?”
I rub my lips against each other to moisten them and to gain time. “Not now, but soon.” Hopefully. But my love for Zane is ingrained in every fiber of my body, it feels impossible to move on.
“Nick is a better man than Zane. He’s a true gentleman and not a pussy chaser like Zane is,” Lindsay says, this time not looking bothered that someone might overhear her.
A wave of hurrays and applause distracts both Lindsay and me, and we step out of the doorway to see what has caused the sudden mass hysteria.
“Zane and I are engaged as of today.” Scarlet holds out her hand to show off her gigantic engagement ring to the crowd.
Zane, then, takes her hand and kisses it tenderly and speaks of his deep love for her and how she’s changed him into a better man.
Words that I refuse to listen to.
I can’t see his face from my position, but I can picture him smiling at her with a look of love and longing to support the words rolling out of his lips.
My heart clenches with pain. The man I’ve dreamed of being with for my entire adult life is declaring his love for another woman…a woman I can’t compete with, even if I wanted.
More cameras click and more girls cheer. There’s no end to it. It’ll continue throughout the night, throughout their lives, and I’ll always be a bystander. Always watching him in love, but never truly experiencing the feeling of being loved by the man who owns my heart.
“Are you all right?” Lindsay touches my elbow with her warm fingers. “You look so pale. Do you need to sit down?”
“No. I’m just…” I glance around in panic. I can’t live like this. I can’t continue being so close to him, but also so far. “I have to go.” I start to hurry toward the back gate. “Please, tell Nick I have a business emergency to attend to.”
I run out of the hotel, ask the valet to call a taxi for me, and even get into the taxi, b
ut when the driver asks me for the address, I mumble meaningless words.
There’s no place I can go where I won’t be reminded of Zane. His ghost will be there in my apartment; his face will appear every time I switch on my TV, my laptop, my phone. There’s no escape from him unless I exile myself to a secluded island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, and even there, I’m sure I’ll be reminded of him through magazines or TV.
And all that carries the assumption that I actually have the guts to run away, but the truth is, I can’t. I’m bound to him like a baby to his mother. I can’t avoid him and go my separate way even though it strips away every shred of happiness left in me.
I have no choice but to endure the abuse. The realization is hard to swallow and I take some time to let it sink in before noticing the impatient eyes of the taxi driver who’s still waiting for an answer to his question.
“I’m sorry.” I slip a fifty-dollar bill into his hand and climb out of the taxi. I seek seclusion in the first powder room I find, sitting in silence and staring into the air. My phone’s ring pulls me back from my trance, and I glance at its screen to see Nick is calling.
“Where are you?” he asks, his voice filled with worry and panic.
“I had to leave for an important meeting, but I’ll be back in ten minutes.” I get up quickly to check myself in the mirror. “I’ll find you at our table.” Disconnecting, I slip the phone back into my purse and apply a fresh coat of lipstick to my lips. With my forced smile, no one will sense I’m painfully in love with my boss.
The gala opens with the welcome speech of Cherise Longmont, the head of the Kid’s with Lung Cancer charity organization. I met her once during the recording of a documentary show about cancer charity foundations, and she politely accepted our invitation to participate in the show. She’s a delight to be with, and her warm blue eyes and silver hair reflect the wisdom and love she has inside her.
Listening to her encouraging words about young kids successfully fighting against the deadly disease, I feel myself a little more hopeful regarding my future prospects. I have one of the most gorgeous men in Hollywood as my date. Why am I hanging so tightly onto a man who doesn’t have a single drop of passion for me?
As gentlemanly as one can be, Nick stands from his seat as soon as he spots me at the entrance of the wide hall and walks to me with a sweet, endearing smile. “There you are! I thought I scared you away with my enthusiasm.” He holds up his hand toward me, and I lay mine onto his palm.
“It takes a lot more than your sweet enthusiasm to scare me away.” I lean into his body to walk beside him. A few heads turn in our direction, but it’s Zane’s piercing gaze that I notice instantly. My body shivers in response and I gulp.
“Are you feeling cold?” Nick asks, ever the caregiver.
“No, I’m fine. Let’s take our seats.”
I quickly nod to Scarlet and Zane, who share a table with us. Lindsay and Ace are sitting at the neighboring table, and both look at me with questioning eyes. I only hope Lindsay hasn’t said anything about my feelings for Zane to Ace, or I might go through a slow death in embarrassment.
After the speech, the wait staff starts serving our food, but Zane and Scarlet choose to spend the evening presenting their dance moves to the audience rather than enjoying the exquisite meal. I cave in to Nick’s request to dance only after I finish up my roasted striped bass that’s beautifully decorated with parsley, dill, and cherry tomatoes.
On the dance floor, I do my best to avoid Zane and Scarlet and laugh at Nick’s jokes about the latest Frat House episode. From what I can see, he and the rest of the crew seem to be content about the writers’ team and the new director we hired after Brad’s firing.
Despite my best efforts to stay away from Zane, he finds a way to cut into my dance with Nick and asks permission from him to dance with me for the next song. I grunt rather loudly to show Zane my discontentment, as he places his large hands around my waist and pulls me toward him.
“Don’t be mad at me!” He bows his head closer to my face and looks at me with his enigmatic eyes. “I just couldn’t do it.”
I bite my lips. I force myself to breathe regularly. I blink and look away. I do everything I can to keep him from affecting my tender feelings. Then, when his words finally soak into my mind, I glance at him quizzically. “What are you talking about?” Involuntarily, my hands land on his wide shoulders. God, he has some taut muscles.
“The ring,” he says as if his brief explanation should ring bells immediately.
“What ring?”
He masterfully maneuvers my body toward the far end of the dance floor to assure us of some privacy. “My mother’s ring. Chloe’s ring. I couldn’t give it to Scarlet.”
My eyes wide open in shock, I look around to see Scarlet and what she’s wearing on her ring finger. “How did you?” She has a ring on, a different one…a brilliant, eye-catching Tiffany ring.
He smirks. “I offered a lady among the guests a hundred thousand dollars for her own engagement ring. She requested me to double my offer for her silence as well. I guess, for some women, love isn’t as important as a check with several zeros.”
“Why? I mean, why didn’t you give her your mother’s ring?” It’s hard to focus on our conversation while trying to resist the urge to run my hands down his biceps to see if he’s hard there as well.
“Just today I told her I loved her,” he says, his voice mixed with embarrassment and resentment, as if confessing a long-kept-secret. “And that’s the first time I’ve said those words to any woman, ever. I meant each and everything I told her, and I won’t cheat on her with another woman, but that’s as far as I can go at this moment in terms of committing myself to her. I need more than six months of fooling around to give her one of my mother’s most precious heirlooms.”
Wait! Is that hope rising inside me like a Phoenix beneath the ashes of my broken heart? “Okay.” One more word than that, and he’ll see through me.
His eyes fall on my chest, and his gaze lingers there for a long moment. I feel a sudden urge to check to see if the sight is as delightful as his sparkling eyes would seem to indicate.
He sticks out his tongue and runs it down his bottom lip ever so slowly. His fingers tighten around my waist, the tips digging into my flesh. Jesus, is he seriously checking me out, right after stating his intentions to stay monogamous with Scarlet?
I clear my throat with a soft cough and move a little further away from his hold, which unfortunately gives him a better view of my full body.
“This dress shows off your curves beautifully,” he points out, pretending nonchalance, but I recognize the seductive tone he uses from hearing the countless dialogs he’s had with other women.
“Thank you,” I say quickly to brush it off. The last thing I need tonight is being pushed off balance by his unsettling compliments. Nick comes to my rescue and asks politely to take me back.
I walk from Zane’s arms into Nick’s, and Zane disappears into the crowd after a quick nod of his head.
“What’s up with Zane tonight? He couldn’t stop staring at you all night,” Nick comments as soon as Zane is out of hearing distance. “Although I must say, most men in this room are guilty of the same crime.”
I cough and nearly come close to choking on my own saliva.
“Easy, there.” He gently pats on the area between my shoulder blades and then takes me back into his arms for a slow dance. “Do you think he’s having second thoughts about his engagement?”
Although I’m perfectly aware of who he’s talking about, I can’t keep myself from asking, “Who? Zane?”
“Yes. What do you think?”
“He’s not having second thoughts. He was just complimenting me about the choice of my dress. He’s my boss. I have to represent him everywhere with my clothes, with my behavior, and with my interaction with others. He was just praising me for doing my job,” I try to explain without giving away the agitation I feel inside.
Playfully,
he squints his eyes at me. “Uh-huh! And you expect me to believe that?”
“Okay. Is this some kind of a jealousy tactic to get me interested? Cause, let me tell you, you don’t need any tactics on me. I’m already interested.”
The playfulness in his expression disappears instantly, and his face turns serious with a hint of smoldering seduction lighting up his eyes. Oh, my! My heartbeat shoots up when he leans in slowly and dips his head. Our lips brush softly at first, then he wraps his long arms around my waist to pull me into a deeper, more passionate kiss.
When his tongue slides past between my lips and starts stroking mine, I shiver with a moan into his mouth. “We shouldn’t…” I pull back slightly and gaze into his eyes that flame with desire.
He chuckles and gives me a quick nod before resuming his cool facade. We dance for a little longer until my feet start hurting in my high heels. Then we return to our table for desert before the waiters clear our dishes. My phone rings while I pop the last piece of the mango mousse into my mouth. Drying my lips with the napkin, I reach for my phone inside my purse and glance at the text without taking the phone out.
Have I made a huge mistake with the engagement?
The text is unquestionably from Zane.
You’ve made a huge mistake by typing that message. I type it quickly and tap on send. My eyes discreetly look for Zane on the dance floor, but he’s not there, neither is Scarlet. I crane my head to look around the tables in vain. They must have left already.
Suddenly, the party loses all its attraction, and the dress I’m wearing, the makeup on my face, the beautiful décor of the room, the elegant guests…everything fades into the background while I grieve for Zane’s absence.
I shouldn’t allow myself to feel that way. I shouldn’t turn depressed when he’s not around. Instead, I should take the opportunity to work on myself and my new relationship with Nick. He has everything a woman could wish for, minus any tendency towards chasing multiple women at the same time.