Silently berating himself, he sighed. He should have asked her what she preferred instead of assuming teleporting would be too much too soon. He supposed then despite his belief he knew her better than Jenna, he didn’t know her at all. Her mate would have known, but he wasn’t her mate. He was just her guardian, temporarily.
“I’m sorry, Ash. If I would have known, I would have teleported us to the states,” he revealed attempting to hide the sadness from his voice.
Her eyes widened. “Wait you mean, immortals can actually teleport?”
“Yes. Well, some can.”
“You can?” A smile spread across her lips.
“Yes.”
“Can I?” she asked.
He shook his head.
She placed her hand over his. “It’s okay, Clyde. You didn’t know. Besides, maybe it’s better this way. It gives me time to think and time for us to talk.”
Always looking on the bright side, he thought.
“When I talked to Jenna, she had suggested it but I …never mind,” he said, waving away the worry.
“What else can you do?”
“I can shift to spirit form, becoming invisible.”
“Really?”
He nodded, then said, “I can also reach into someone’s mind and find out everything there is to know about them.”
He heard her pulse quicken. Her shoulders shot ramrod straight and she paled. “Y-you can read me?”
He knew she was terrified of his answer, proving something lurked in her past she didn’t want him to know. Perhaps, it was something she didn’t want anyone to know, yet it hurt to think she didn’t trust him enough to tell him.
“No, I can’t,” he assured her.
She looked relieved. “Why?”
“I’m not sure.” Hoping to change the subject, he asked, “Are you hungry?”
“Actually, I’m starved.”
“Let me check what we have on board.”
Clyde stood and headed toward the refrigerator at the back end of the jet. Opening it, he spotted a plate of assorted fruits and several plated dinners, lobster and pasta and filet mignon with mashed potatoes.
“Ash.” He turned to face her. “There’s a tray of fresh fruits and meals.What do you prefer lobster and pasta, or filet and mash?”
“Um…filet and mash, I guess unless you prefer—”
“I prefer lobster.”
He turned and pulled out the two dinner plates and heated them in the microwave. Taking the fruit plate, he placed it in front of Ashley then checked the refrigerator for drinks. He spotted several sodas, water, wine and beer.
“What would you like to drink?”
“Is there any white wine?”
Clyde lifted his brow in question. “Really?”
“Yeah,” she chuckled. “I’m celebrating.”
He smiled.
The microwave binged distracting him. After grabbing the entrees and setting them on a table in front of two recliners, he searched the cabinets for two glasses, found them then set them on the counter and poured the wine. He grabbed utensils and napkins and then he sat across from her.
“So tell me. I’m intrigued. What are you celebrating?”
“A new beginning with my sisters.” She grinned from ear to ear.
He held out his glass and tapped it against hers then said, “To your new beginning with your sisters.”
They sipped their wine.
She frowned as if something unpleasant had occurred to her but didn’t say anything troublesome. Instead she asked, “So can you tell me more about my new life?”
“Of course. I guess I should tell you about the Guardians.” He took a bite of lobster and swallowed before he continued. “Jenna’s mate, Lucas, started the Guardian League several centuries ago to combat Malums. After several decades, the king of elves, Kellen, joined then the king of vampires, Giovanni, joined as well. It wasn’t until recently that Landon, Jocelyn’s mate joined.”
“The werewolf?”
He nodded. “This was a few months ago, less than a year. Right around the time Jenna met Lucas. The Malum king, David, who is Lucas’s twin brother, kidnapped Jocelyn.”
“Wait! What?” she asked, dropping her fork. “Jenna’s mate’s twin kidnapped Jocelyn?”
“Yes,” he said, wondering if he should’ve told Ashley any of it. The last thing he wanted was for her to question Lucas and his motives. He wasn’t Lucas’s biggest fan, but he didn’t want Ashley to be uncomfortable around her sister’s mate either. Too late to stop now, he continued, “The Guardians with Jenna’s help found where David was keeping her and rescued her. That’s when Landon discovered Jocelyn was his mate and when Lucas discovered his brother was behind the Malums and behind the rise of the Hellions in the demonic plane, Treconomia. He also discovered his twin was the mastermind behind the murders of his family.”
“Wait, wait… So Lucas’s own brother killed their family?”
He nodded.
Her expression saddened. “Wow. That’s just so sad. I mean…I can’t imagine… So Lucas is a good demon?” she said finally.
“Yeah, he is.” He wondered how Ashley realized it so easily when it took him several months.
“Does he actually turn into a demon like on that Buffy show?”
Clyde chuckled. “No, it’s nothing like that…” He took a bite of lobster, chewed then swallowed. “When demons turn, they grow taller and bigger, and they have horns, but they look like themselves. You’ll meet several demons in New York. Lucas and Jenna live in a building in Manhattan. His warriors, Cain, Benjamin and Jacob live there, too. They’re all demons.”
“And Landon, he actually turns into a wolf?”
“Landon turns into a wolf, a big wolf.”
She took a sip of wine then asked, “How come Owen seemed so excited to meet an angel?”
“We don’t allow ourselves to be seen. Living in heaven, we only leave to perform our duties.”
“Oh…” She took a large gulp of wine then took another bite. “So when you finish your duty, you’ll go back to heaven?”
He wanted to believe he would stay with her, guard her and care for her forever, but it wasn’t possible. He was an angel; she was an Elemental. After his job was done, he would be forced to leave her. Perhaps, it was better this way. She had a mate, and the thought of standing by and watching her fall in love with another made him want to rip out his heart.
“Yes,” he said, reluctantly.
He watched her cautiously waiting for her to say something, anything, but she didn’t. He wished he could read her. Did the thought of never seeing him again upset her? Then again maybe it was a godsend he couldn’t. If she didn’t feel the same, her thoughts held the power to destroy him.
They finished their meals in silence. Only an hour had passed. They still had a long flight ahead, so he suggested they watch a movie. She agreed. Half an hour later, she was asleep.
Chapter 8
Ashley’s eyes slowly fluttered open and scanned the small dark room with no windows, wondering where she was. Thinking back, she remembered falling asleep on the plane with Clyde, but the question remained. Where was she?
Fear seeped into her, realizing she could be anywhere. The Malums were after her; Asher had attacked her. She felt Clyde wouldn’t leave her, but what if he’d had no other choice. As panic enveloped her, tears welled in her eyes. A gut-wrenching sob escaped her.
The door slammed open. Instinctively, she slid away, bringing the blanket draped over her to her chin.
It was Clyde, concern marring his expression. He hadn’t left her. She was safe.
Relief swelled inside her. She relaxed, dropping the blanket on her lap.
“Are you okay?” He closed the distance between them and sat at the edge of the bed.
She nodded because she didn’t think she could speak without crying.
“What’s wrong, Ash?”
She shook her head, not wanting to admit she had overreacted, then
released a breath, exhausted. The events of the past two days had officially drained her and made her paranoid.
He wrapped him arms around her, feathering a light kiss on her forehead. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
The warmth of his body further soothed her shattered nerves. She managed to whisper, “Nothing.”
He pulled away from her to look into her eyes. His brows drew together then he asked, “Don’t you trust me?”
Of all the damned questions that was by far the stupidest. Wasn’t she flying across the Atlantic with him based on things he’d told her without proof?
“Please, tell me.”
Something about the way his voice pleaded with her made her cave, and she admitted, “I…I just didn’t recognize where I was. I thought maybe while I slept―”
“We’re still on the plane. After you fell asleep, I moved you here. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you,” he said firmly. “I would never leave you unguarded, Ash.”
She pulled away from him, not wanting the heat of his body distracting her from what she knew to be true. One day he would leave her. One day, he wouldn’t guard her. His presence was temporary.
He rubbed his hand across her cheek. The simple touch left tingles on her skin. “You are so beautiful, Ashley.”
Her eyes narrowed, and she backed away. He tensed, drawing his hand away. Why would he compliment her knowing she was attracted to him, knowing she had a mate and especially knowing he would eventually leave? Why was he feeding her attraction?
“Don’t,” she said firmly.
His eyes hardened, “Why?” he asked impulsively, his temper flaring.
“Because, Clyde, I don’t think it’s wise to—”
He cut her off. “To tell you that you are beautiful? To try to make you realize it? I mean it.” His voice rose with every word.
“What you think doesn’t change anything,” she managed to mumble.
“So my opinion isn’t important? It’s not valid?”
“That’s not what I meant…I just meant…” She paused then blurted the truth. “I’m attracted to you, and when you say things like that it makes me think you are too, but you aren’t.”
He took a deep breath, his temper faded. Dragging a hand through his hair he said, “I am attracted to you, more than I’ve ever been attracted to anyone.”
Shocked by his confession, she felt the color drain from her face. She hated what she would say next, but had no choice.
She had a mate, and it wasn’t Clyde. It meant she couldn’t permit her feelings to grow because she couldn’t fall for a man who had no choice but to leave her. The feelings she already possessed for him would already make it difficult to say goodbye.
She exhaled, then said, “But you’re leaving, and you aren’t my mate, Clyde.”
He recoiled as if stung, the muscles in his shoulders clenching. His expression transformed, a look of torment marring his features.
Her words had done it, and it tore at her knowing she’d caused his ache though it was the truth, though it had to be said. Yet she couldn’t grasp why he was affected by it. Did he care for her that much?
She didn’t endure the look for long. He stood and exited the room, closing the door behind him.
****
Clyde couldn’t recall ever being miserable, but he was now. His misery deepened each time her words drifted through his frazzled mind: But you are leaving, and you aren’t my mate, Clyde.
It was the truth. She had every reason to remind him. He seemed to forget from time to time and allowed his heart to speak and act for him. A compliment, a soft caress, a comforting embrace… It was reckless. Her reactions often encouraged him to continue to feel emotions he had no right feeling and want what didn’t belong to him.
He told her himself she wasn’t his, but hearing her acknowledge it ravaged him. He knew she cared for him, and it wasn’t right to encourage her feelings when he would have no choice but to leave her. What she didn’t realize was he would suffer, greatly. When she discovered who her mate was, she would forget him, but he would never forget her.
A half hour after he’d left her, he reentered her room and found her sitting up in bed just as he had left her. Slowly, he sat at the edge of the bed.
“I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she protested.
“Yes. I shouldn’t have…” His words trailed off. He swallowed the lump in his throat. It was now or never. He had to be honest with Ashley and tell her how he knew no matter how he felt she wasn’t his. “I shouldn’t lead you on. I shouldn’t give in to how I feel about you and let it rule me. It’s not accepted by my kind, but I can’t help it.”
“W-what do you mean?”
“Do you remember when I told you most immortal races mate?”
She nodded.
“Angels don’t mate. That’s how I know with certainty Asher isn’t yours, fallen or otherwise. Angels do not procreate either. We are created. Our sole purpose is to ensure destiny is met. Because of our purpose, our minds are unbiased, content with what fate brings forth. Being emotionally involved with any mortal or immortal can alter our perceptions and our true purpose. To be truly impartial, none of those emotions can exist in us.”
He paused letting it sink in then studied her sorrowed expression. “There are different types of angels who spread love, cure, create miracles. That is their job and purpose, but they cannot choose who, only God can do that. We are simply God’s carriers, messengers and warriors.”
By the time he’d finished, her eyes welled with tears. He wondered what he’d said that spurred them. Did she want him to be different? Did she want him to be hers? Did she pity him for never being allowed to feel, to fall in love?
Unexpectedly, she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, embracing him. He tensed, then allowed himself to relax and enjoy the feel of her body pressed against his, comforting him.
It was exactly what he’d needed—her touch, her comfort, her.
He held her for a long time perhaps, too long. Then reluctantly, he released her. “You should get some sleep,” he advised. Before she could argue, he left.
****
Ashley couldn’t sleep. Clyde’s confession replayed in her mind like a broken record. Now, she knew why he wasn’t hers because he would never be anyone’s.
Angels weren’t allowed to feel anything—not love or hate. Nothing. She couldn’t imagine an eternity never knowing what it was truly like to love someone. How long had Clyde lived without ever feeling?
But Clyde felt. He cared for her, he’d said as much and she heard him tell Jenna he loved her. It wasn’t the first time he’d felt. Why did he feel then when angels weren’t supposed to?
After a long while, she gave up wondering.
****
Ashley stood alone. A thick fog surrounded her, so she couldn’t see anything beyond her fingertips. Foolishly, she ran hoping to escape the haze. Slowly, its thickness receded and a man came into view.
Unkempt, his dark hair disheveled, a five o’clock shadow cloaking his face. His bright blue eyes were dim with his distress.
“Clyde?” she said, a question in her voice as she closed the distance between them.
The wind tousled her hair. She pulled it away from her face. His eyes met hers, and he held up his hand to stop her.
Confused, she glanced around again. The mist that had covered her surroundings before was now nearly gone. She stood in a grassy field surrounded by evergreen trees, nearby lay a pond. None of it looked familiar except for Clyde who stood feet from her.
“Clyde, what’s wrong?” she asked, her panic clear in her tone.
“Nothing, Ashley. Nothing is wrong.”
“But…” she began as she walked closer.
He held up his hand again.
She paused. “Are you leaving me so soon?”
“It’s time,” he said simply.
“For what? For you to leave?” she que
stioned, her voice cracking.
“I’m sorry, Ashley.”
An unbearable pain enveloped her chest. Her knees buckled beneath her. She reached toward him. “Clyde, please don’t leave me. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know—”
“I can’t help you, Ashley,” he said. A single tear slid down his cheek.
Then he vanished leaving her alone.
****
Ashley awoke with the soft caress on her cheek, soothing the turmoil of her dream. The dream she recalled little of except the helplessness it evoked. She drew closer to the caress seeking more comfort.
“Ash.” His voice pacified her anxiety as his hand continued to stroke her cheek.
Still half asleep, her body moved toward the heat of his, then she whispered, “Clyde?”
“We’re landing soon.”
Thoughts flooded her. She jolted up in bed, slamming into his broad chest. His muscled arms wrapped around her, holding her still. The heat of his body mingled with hers, and she breathed a sigh of relief feeling his strength and the security he provided.
“Shh…it’s okay.” He rubbed his hands up and down her back sending shudders rippling through her.
She buried her face in his chest. “I…I…” she stuttered, trying to recall her dream, the one that caused her unease.
“Shh…it’s okay,” he repeated. “Everything is fine. I’m here.”
“I can’t remember…” she whispered against his chest.
“It’s not important.”
After several moments, she pulled away from him slightly, and his blue-eyed stare bore into her, unnerving her. She tried again to remember the dream but nothing came.
“We’re landing,” he repeated.
Anxiety overwhelmed her again. Looking away from him, she folded her hands into each other to stop the slight tremble.
She would reunite with two of her sisters soon, the sisters she remembered very little of. Her new beginning would begin.
Her gaze floated toward him then a thought so horrid occurred, her chest felt like it was being compressed. She could barely breathe, barely think.
Would Clyde drop her off then head to heaven? Would she ever see him again? Was this new beginning the end of her time with Clyde? Had she realized it before, she wouldn’t have slept at all. She would’ve enjoyed their last day together.
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