Heavenly Desire

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Heavenly Desire Page 21

by J. L. Sheppard


  She reeled at the information. The Guardians affected because of her. “But I would know if he was mine,” she insisted.

  “Only immortal males know with certainty who belongs to them from a single glimpse,” he explained.

  “He can’t be.” She shook her head. “He attacked me. He—”

  “You don’t have to convince me.” His eyes darted to Clyde for a brief moment, then came to her again. “I don’t believe you belong to the fallen.”

  A hand rested on her shoulder. She turned and spotted her sisters. “Don’t worry, Ash. Everything will work out,” Jenna whispered.

  She smiled weakly thankful for the support of her sisters, the Guardians and Clyde.

  They talked for a good half hour. Clyde became more and more agitated, fidgeting nervously. The muscles in his jaw clenched; he fisted his hands every so often unnerving her further. She excused herself and stood. Immediately, he stood and followed her.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Restroom.”

  “I’ll walk you,” he said then proceeded to do so.

  She released a breath, then garnered the strength to ask, “What’s wrong?” She knew in the pit of her stomach it related to the vampire king’s confession.

  He turned to face her then said, “Nothing.”

  “Don’t lie to me,” she said without looking in his direction.

  He didn’t speak. When they reached the bathroom, she turned toward him expectantly. Taking a deep breath, he said, “Weren’t you listening?”

  “Of course, I was listening.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think you fully understand the danger you are in, Ash. They’re looking for you. They have an excuse.”

  “They don’t have an excuse. Asher isn’t my fated.”

  His eyes softened. “It doesn’t make a difference, angel. They’re searching for you. They won’t stop. We need to find your mate then all of this will be over. I’m terrified to ask you, but I have to.” He paused; his eyes grew bleak. “D-do you think any of those males are yours?”

  Her heart plummeted to the pit of her stomach. How could he still have doubts about her? After everything… “You still don’t believe I’m yours?” she asked rhetorically, fighting the tears welling in her eyes. It was no use.

  He ran his hands through his hair, reached for her then hesitated, meeting her eyes. “Angel, I can’t be because of what I am, but I’m not strong enough to deny you. I wish I was yours,” he replied, his voice soft and solemn.

  “Didn’t you read them?”

  “Yes, but…I…”

  She didn’t possess the strength to utter another word, so she didn’t. Instead she strode into the bathroom in hopes of composing herself.

  Ashley wanted to be angry, knew she should be. She wanted to scream and shout, tell him he wasn’t being fair to her, tell him he was denying her, but she knew, in the end, it would do no good. He wouldn’t believe she was his. Despite how he felt for her, how he cared for her and how he’d made love to her, he wouldn’t believe he was hers because he was an angel. It pained her because she loved him, loved him so much her soul ached every time he denied she belonged to him.

  A knock sounded at the door distracting her from her thoughts. “Angel, please…I’m sorry… I just…” His somber voice made the ache in her chest deepen.

  For an instant, she let her mind wander and wonder what it would feel like if their roles were reversed, if she was the angel and he the Elemental, if she’d lived two thousand years knowing she would never find another to complete her. What would it feel like to fear every woman in his presence could be his mate knowing she could never be because of what she was?

  Her heart clenched in her chest. “Oh God,” she mumbled under her breath. She knew then what she had to do. She’d stay by his side, enjoy him and assure him there was no other for her but him, until the inevitable moment when he discovered the truth—she was his.

  “Come in,” she said, turning away from the mirror and toward him. He appeared just as she feared, somber, disillusioned and defeated.

  “I love you, Clyde,” she said. “None of those men are my mates.”

  “But Giovanni said—”

  “You read him. You know he isn’t mine. He said beauty runs in the family. It was a compliment to my sisters and me, that’s it,” she said firmly.

  At that moment, longing ignited. She wanted nothing more than his kiss, his touch—him. She whispered, “Kiss me.”

  He closed the distance between them and claimed her lips in a searing kiss, kindling desire in every inch of her. He wrapped his arms around her, deepening their kiss, exploring her mouth eagerly like he never wanted another, kissing her long and hard until she forgot what he had said and how much it hurt. All her troubles faded away.

  “Take me,” she whispered, pulling away from his lips. Her breaths came out in feverish gasps.

  He held still, clenching his jaw, fighting his desire. He wanted her just as indescribably as she wanted him, but he was tormented by his beliefs, his denial, that torment, his internal battle, clear in his captivating blue eyes. “I…can’t,” he said after several moments.

  “You can,” she replied, trying hard to sound confident despite still being unnerved by his kiss.

  He pulled away from her. She knew his mind battled with his desire and with what he believed to be true that she wasn’t his to take.

  She leaned toward him, reaching for his lips.

  “Don’t… I won’t be able to…” His voice ragged.

  She swallowed, summoning the courage to say what she wanted. “I want this, Clyde.” Her love for him threatened to overwhelm her. “I want you, only you. Let me show you.”

  Before she uttered the last word, his lips were pressed firmly against hers, evoking desire anew, stirring passion that had never truly ebbed inside her. She relished the feel of his lips, his touch, his warmth and the comfort he provided her.

  As his hands trailed down her bare back, she prayed for the thousandth time he would, too, believe what she knew, he was her mate.

  His lips inched down her chin toward her neck. The need inside her rose with every passing moment, pooling in her center. She moaned, unable to control her desire, her need for him.

  “I need you, angel,” he whispered, his voice gruff as if pained.

  Desperate for more of him, all of him, she ran her hands down his back, then dragged them toward his chest until she reached his pants and unbuckled them.

  His lips met hers again. The kiss engulfed her as it did every time. His hands inched lower and lower leaving a trail of searing heat everywhere he touched. Grabbing the bottom of her dress, he pulled it up slightly then the heat of his hands grazed up and down her thighs.

  “Your skin is like silk,” he said huskily against the sensitive skin on her neck.

  A flutter of goose bumps erupted through her, making her shudder. He pressed her against the sink shoving his erection against her. She gasped at the suddenness, then let her desire control her. She dragged her lips toward his neck, licking and kissing softly until she reached his tie. Quickly, she loosened and removed it, then unbuttoned his shirt and ran her hands down his bare chest. She followed the trail with her lips. He cradled her head, whispering her name softly.

  She felt the softness of a mattress under her a moment later, her chest pressed against his. He grasped the back of her head and pulled her head toward his, then dragged her legs apart and around his hips to straddle him. His mouth trailed down her neck, licking and tasting her flesh as he hastily drew his hands toward her shoulders and pulled the straps of her dress down until her breasts were bare.

  Her nipples tightened as the cool breeze in the room hit them, she shivered. His chest grazed them and she let out a soft pleading moan.

  His hand covered her nipple, then squeezed briefly until he replaced his hand with his mouth, sucking delicately. She moaned from the pleasure his tongue evoked.

  “Please,” she whispe
red, reaching toward his pants. His tongue, his touch, he was driving her wild with desire. She needed his flesh against hers, and him inside her. “Don’t make me wait.”

  His eyes widened then he whispered, “Never, angel.”

  Removing his pants, boxers and shirt, he then climbed on top of her, helping her remove her dress and panties. Running his hands down her body, he kissed her passionately teasing her nipples to a peak until she writhed in desire.

  She broke away briefly and said, “Don’t tease me.”

  He chuckled. “I would never,” he said then placed his shaft at the entrance of her core.

  Clyde covered her mouth with his, muffling a moan as he pressed himself into her, filling her. Her hands gripped his shoulders. Her nails scored his skin as he thrust into her repeatedly, gently then more forcefully.

  The faster he drove into her, the larger her craving for him grew and the louder she moaned.

  “I love your moans, angel…”

  Quivering with need, her core clenched around him until her body tensed. The pleasure he created so perfectly inside her assailed. His cock jerked inside her simultaneously releasing his seed. She cried out, her body shuddering from her powerful release.

  She wrapped her arms around him more firmly, dragging him toward her as aftershocks of pleasure pulsed through her. He collapsed on top of her then shifted her into his side, tucking her body against his, holding her tightly. She was sure, had she been human instead of immortal, she would have been crushed.

  “I love you, angel,” he whispered against her forehead, then kissed her.

  She lifted her head to meet his eyes and smiled.

  Chapter 16

  As Ashley stirred in her sleep, Clyde shifted slightly pressing her toward the warmth of his chest as he laced his fingers through her hair.

  After they’d made love, she had fallen asleep. He placed her under the covers, then slid in bed beside her and watched her breathe, wondering what she dreamt about.

  Then his thoughts shifted toward the inevitable. Ashley was in danger being hunted by a fallen who claimed she was his, and the news was spreading among the immortal community like wildfire.

  She wasn’t Asher’s.

  She couldn’t be.

  And yet his conscience had, as of late, found horrible ways to torment him. The most recent was the disturbing thought that Asher realized Ashley was his and abandoned his beliefs. This plagued him even though he knew angels, fallen or otherwise, didn’t mate and even though he knew the fates wouldn’t be as cruel as to tie her to a damned fallen. But then again, Ashley hadn’t deserved the abuse she’d endured at the hands of her adoptive father either, and yet it had been sealed in her fate.

  And now she knew all of it, a burden she’d live with until she found her mate. He hated the very thought of anything burdening her. He wanted to bear all her burdens, erase all her sorrows and ease all her worries.

  She stirred again, pressed her palm against him and inhaled. He angled his face toward hers and watched as she smiled seemingly enjoying his scent. In that fleeting moment, he was at peace. A smile spread across his face then her eyes slid open.

  “Angel,” he said barely a whisper. “You can sleep.”

  “How long was I out?”

  “Two hours.”

  “Did you sleep?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t need to, remember?”

  “I know, but you can, right?”

  He nodded.

  “So why don’t you?”

  Her question hung in the air as he debated whether he should tell her about the dreams.

  “Don’t you feel safe here…with me?”

  “Ash, that’s not why.” He paused realizing she wasn’t satisfied with the answer and expected more of an explanation. Because I can’t bear another dream where you’re not alive and where you can’t remember who I am. Instead he said, “I prefer to watch you.”

  She nodded slightly, but she didn’t seem convinced. Her eyes held a glint of suspicion.

  “Do you want to go flying with me?”

  Her eyes lit up, for the moment forgetting their conversation.

  “I’ll take that as a yes,” he said then begrudgingly removed himself from the bed.

  As he turned his back toward her to find his clothes, she said, “Wait.”

  He turned toward her slightly, and she strode to him then placed her hand over his tattooed wings. As her fingers softly drifted along the outline, he exhaled to prevent himself from shuddering. His wings, like every other angels’, were sensitive to touch and her touch sent sparks of heat through him, making him crave her. Too soon, she removed her hand.

  “Sorry,” she said. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”

  He turned toward her and kissed her softly on the lips, his erection jabbing her in the stomach.

  “Does it turn you on when women touch your wings?”

  He glanced toward his shaft, realizing it was rock hard. The damn thing had a mind of its own in her presence.

  “No one has ever touched them but you, Ashley, and everything about you turns me on,” he replied, then took a step backward and turned.

  He found his clothes on the floor and put them on quickly. She went into her closet then strode out seconds later wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt.

  “You should put on a light jacket,” he advised. “It can get cold.”

  She did, then together they headed toward the lobby. He grabbed her hand and led her toward the enclosed garage. Removing his shirt, he tucked it in his back pocket then he let his seven-foot wings sprout to life.

  She gasped. “They’re silver.”

  He arched his wings toward her and realized what she’d said was true. His wings were no longer white embedded with sparks of silver but completely silver. It confounded him. Only angel warriors had silver wings, and he had yet to be promoted; furthermore, the Lords would be aware of his indiscretions, that he had fallen in love with Ashley and made love to her.

  “Yeah,” he said, finally finding his voice.

  “I don’t remember them being silver. They were white before.”

  She reached toward his right wing and softly ran her hand along it, sending flickers of passion and desire through him. Her eyes were wide in awe admiring his gift, his wings—the same gift that reminded him every second of every day why she couldn’t be his. It sent him reeling, his heart clenching, his soul aching.

  Her eyes glided toward his. “You are beautiful, Clyde,” she said softly.

  He wanted to scream then and cry and curse heaven. More than anything, he wanted to tell her he wasn’t. He was selfish and weak, taking something that never belonged to him—her. Instead he pulled her closer, embracing her as his wings curved around her, enclosing her in them. She smiled, reaching above her head and behind her to softly graze her fingers along his wings.

  “They’re so soft…like a pillow, but softer,” she whispered.

  Moments passed, then she said, “Stop it.”

  “What?”

  “You’re sad. Don’t I make you happy?”

  “Of cour—”

  “Then be happy, Clyde.” She cut him off. “Don’t waste time worrying about anything especially not…” Her voice trailed off.

  He smiled marveling at her once again, her ability to comfort him when it was his job to comfort her. He kissed the top of her head.

  “Ready?”

  She nodded.

  “Wait, won’t anyone see us?”

  “We’re invisible now,” he explained.

  She nodded again.

  “Don’t be scared and hold on tight.”

  She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest. Wrapping one arm around her waist, he placed the other on the back of her head. His wings flapped lifting them off the floor. He flew them toward the garage’s entrance and glided out into the cool night air, relishing it briefly as his wings continued to flap repeatedly. The higher
and higher he flew, the smaller everything below them became until even the highest skyscrapers seemed too small to house people.

  Lowering his hand until it rested on her upper back, she angled her head down taking in the view. He watched her expression, her face glowing as the wind made her hair swirl around them.

  Beautiful, he thought, smiling. My angel is beautiful.

  “This is amazing,” she whispered, then angled her face toward his. “Thank you for bringing me.”

  “You’re welcome,” he whispered leaving unsaid what he really wanted to tell her: this was nothing compared to what he’d do for her. He would sacrifice his wings and his life for her.

  He flew across the city from lower Manhattan to the Statue of Liberty to the Empire State Building to Times Square to Central Park and everywhere in between.

  As they neared the meat packing industry, he asked, “Do you want to get a quick bite?”

  She nodded, and he landed softly on the pavement behind several Dumpsters. Instantly, he concealed his wings making himself and Ashley visible once again. He donned his shirt then grabbed her hand and led her to the well-lit street.

  “Where would you like to eat?”

  “Anywhere. I don’t really know anywhere here in New York…Jake has taken me…” She stopped short.

  At the mention of Jacob, he clenched his jaw. He reminded himself Ashley and Jacob were just friends and that she preferred him. At least until she finds her mate. It did nothing to soothe him. If he hadn’t ignored her, she would’ve never befriended Jacob. He should’ve been the one showing her the city. Still, he often wondered of all the immortals that roamed the demon king’s lavish home, why she had become friends with the most hostile, an immortal who was the complete opposite of Ashley’s kind mannered nature.

  “Why him?” The words spilled out, his tone harsh. When she didn’t respond, he asked again, “Why him? Why did you befriend him?”

  “Because he needed a friend more than anyone else.”

  She had irretrievably proven what he always known. Altruistic, she cared for others without thought to herself. She was everything he should be, so it was no wonder he’d fallen in love with her.

 

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