Jackson’s jaw which was clenched tightly as soon as Dean began his tirade about my face untightened his face and laughed loudly.
The sound of his rich deep laughter hit me right in the gut. Embarrassment, which was a feeling I’ve been marinating in since getting punched by a livid scorned wife, in a fancy restaurant, while my boyfriend apologized profusely and told her I meant nothing to him slapped me right in the face. Before this moment I’d been treading the embarrassment river I was thrown in. Now with Jackson laughing at me made me feel like I was drowning in it.
“You really know how to pick them. It’s nice to know you are still the same Lucser you were in high school.”
My fingers curled in a fist and I pictured it smashing into Jackson’s perfect nose until it gushed his asshole blood all over his too damn tight shirt.
“Knock it off, Jackson.” Dean slapped Jackson’s stomach and the fact Jackson didn’t seem the least bit phased at the hit to rock hard abs didn’t go unnoticed by me.
“I see you’re still the same conceited asshole you were in high school. I guess people never change,” I shot back at Jackson steaming that he couldn’t have got fat, dismembered, or both.
Life really wasn’t fair.
“Yeah, but I bet you still want to get that kiss you begged for eight years ago.”
“Ha, I tried to get a kiss from you? I don’t think so. Maybe I was so drunk I was temporarily insane.”
“Like you don’t remember knocking your drink on me and trapping me in your brother’s bedroom and telling me you wanted me to be your first kiss. And believe me I know you remember you didn’t drink at all that night.”
“It’s funny how you seem to remember that night so clearly and I honestly don’t remember it at all.”
Jackson and I were locked in a stare down. He was right I didn’t drink a drop of alcohol. I was completely aware of what had happened in Dean’s room. From the rise of his eyebrow he knew it too.
Jackson also knew I wouldn’t admit in front of Dean we actually did kiss that night. As much as I hated Jackson for treating me the way he did it seemed I still hadn’t shaken the ridiculous crush I had on him.
So much for making better decisions.
“You two knock it off,” Dean pushed Jackson and rolled the dolly inside to begin loading up the boxes. “I thought you two would have grown up by now. Can you at least pretend to be adults until we get home? Jackson come help me with these boxes.”
Jackson finally took his focus off of me and looked around the giant apartment and whistled. “Lucser you sure did mess up. This apartment’s huge. You must have learned a lot about kissing to get someone to pay for this.”
“Shut up, dickhead. And not that I care what you think about me, but I paid for this apartment on my own. The reason I’m moving is because I was subletting it from my ex. The rent was paid on time every month, thank you very much.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you worked really hard to get this apartment.”
“You two are giving me a fucking headache. Can you just knock it off for an hour?”
“It’s him not me. And I’m a very successful graphic designer. Even without the job I just lost I could still afford this apartment on just my freelance jobs alone.”
Jackson opened his mouth but Dean covered it with his hand. “Give her a break, Jackson. She made a mistake and I’m sure she has beat herself up enough without you chiming in. Can we please just get this done? I have a date tonight.”
Jackson and I nodded and went to opposite sides of the apartment just to get away from each other.
Jackson and Dean loaded up the dolly and Dean went out to load up the truck while Jackson stacked the next load.
I stuck my tongue out at Jackson when Dean wheeled out of the doorway. .
“You wish,” he whispered.
“Nah, I made that mistake once. Believe me I messed up having you as my first kiss. Since I’ve had more I feel sorry for you and your ability or should I say your inability? Hopefully you found a better technique.”
“I need a better technique? You all but melted in my arms when I gave you that pity kiss.”
“I was trying to keep from laughing. Oh and by the way, thank you for pretending we never kissed. I would like to forget it too.”
“Is that how you get along in life? Just pretend shit didn’t happen.”
“No, I know I fucked up. I just don’t want to hear it from you. I’m done. I don’t even have the energy to battle you anymore. Funny I didn’t think I could hate myself anymore but now I’m about to cry in front of you. Damn it.”
My eyes stung and my voice shook and all I could do was stare at the floor. Fighting with Jackson usually invigorated me. In my mind it was like some sick form of flirting, even if it was only one sided but today I was tired.
“Don’t you dare cry. You’re stronger than that.” Jackson moved closer to me but I refused to look up from the carpet.
“I’m not.” I wiped a tear hanging off the tip of my nose. “Please just leave me alone.”
Jackson wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his hard chest. I sniffled and his scent filled my lungs making me cry even harder.
“Stop crying. Don’t you dare break from this.”
His whispered words hit deep and I stiffened in his arms. I pushed at his chest and his arms dropped to his side.
“Ugh, are you so hard up you have to hug girls when they are at their lowest?”
Jackson winked before turning around and working on the boxes Dean had told him to stack.
“Hey does she belong to you?” Dean asked wheeling the dolly back into the apartment with my newest friend Trina right behind him.
“What the hell, have you been crying?” Trina asked grabbing my chin and staring into my eyes.
“Did you make her cry?” Dean slugged Jackson’s arm as he shouldered his way over to me.
“No, it wasn’t Jackson.” I admitted but at the same time Jackson answered too.
“Yes, she could never handle getting made fun of. She’s a baby.”
“You two are going to drive me bat shit crazy. Jackson stop being a lazy ass and help me out.”
“You two big strapping men don’t need us weak females right? I’m stealing her and if you’re good we will bring back coffee.” Trina was already tugging on my arm.
I laughed looking at Trina’s muscular arms. She worked out every day and could probably lift heavier than Dean or Jackson. Trina’s long blonde hair was pulled back in a low ponytail. Her yoga pants hugged her hips and her sports bra bolted her small boobs against her chest.
Dean smiled and waived us out of the apartment. I ignored Jackson as I went by him not ready to see what his face would look like.
“Everything here can go to the storage unit. The stuff I need immediately is already in my car.” I told them just before Trina pulled me past the door jamb.
“Did that big lug make you cry? Do you want me to beat him up? Or has Richard contacted you?”
I giggled as I walked down the block to the coffee shop on the corner. “No, Richard has been MIA since Karen cold clocked me. And you don’t need to beat up Jackson right now, but I’m going to keep that offer in my back pocket. Just in case he pisses me off.”
“You’ve got it.” Trina said as we ordered our drinks.
I hugged Trina as my heart burst with happiness. Trina was an angel who popped up in my life when I needed a friend the most.
I met Trina one night after Richard had dropped me off after dinner. He was supposed to come back to my apartment for some naked time but he got an important phone call, which I now assume was from his wife, Karen and he had to leave. Trina ran into me and spilled her new bought coffee down both of us.
She was horrified I invited her into my apartment to clean up and we ended up watching bad tv and become friends. It was fate she came into my life with her spilled coffee. Trina used to live in my apartment complex and feeling nostalgic one night decided to visit the
local coffee shop.
And couldn’t thank fate more for bringing her into my life. She was there to nurse my bruised face after getting beat up by Karen and had been my rock ever since.
Trina hugged me back. “What was that for?”
“For being such a great friend.”
“You’re going to get through this, Lucy. I mean who hasn’t destroyed a marriage? It’s like a right of passage.”
My cheeks burst into flames and my head snapped back and forth making sure nobody heard her. Trina laughed and hugged me again before handing me my drink in a holder with two more for Dean and Jackson.
“Relax there isn’t an angry wives ready for round two around here.”
I shook my head and followed a still laughing Trina back to my apartment.
3
“Here we are home sweet home.” Dean opened the front door to his house I hadn’t been in since he moved into it two years ago.
I dropped the duffel bag I was carrying down on the living room floor and scanned the house. “I see mom has had her hands in decorating.”
Dean’s house boasted a brown couch which was dominated by two matching recliners on each side. On the walls were prints of buildings in various stages of being constructed. A large tv hung from the wall but no cables were showing a sign my moms handy work
The open kitchen was on the left and the marble island looked modern and went with the stainless steel appliances.
“Yes, and by the way mom and dad wanted me to tell you to call them when you got settled in.”
“Do they know?” I asked horrified, my parents found out about my indiscretion while they were on vacation.
“I didn’t tell them what happened. Just you broke up with Richard and were moving in with me for a little bit.”
Jackson took the duffel bag off the ground and the one he was holding and started up the stairs. “You’re in the smaller guest room. I would give you the bigger one but well I don’t like you that much.”
As I watched Jackson’s jean clad ass climb up the stairs I was mentally frozen. When what he said finally filtered through my brain I spun around and pushed Dean on the shoulder.
“What does he mean he has the other room?”
Dean rubbed the back of his neck and wouldn’t make eye contact with me.
“Dean?”
“Jackson’s renovating his parent’s old farmhouse. His parents let him have it when they couldn’t keep up with the upkeep and moved to Florida when they retired. Jackson decided to do a complete overhaul and well he’s staying with me while he gets it ready.”
“And this wasn’t something you thought maybe I should know?” My heart hammered in my chest realizing I would be sleeping right next door to Jackson.
This school girl crush really needed to go away. It was extremely inconvenient.
“Well he is my best friend and I didn’t expect you to move in at the same time as me. Although I should have figured you would find some way to get close to me. After all we both know you have the hots for me.” Jackson leaned against the top of the stairs his smile looking annoyingly sinful.
“You really need to get over yourself. You would be the last person I would want to be with.”
“That’s it. I’m getting a hotel. You two are going to drive me out of my own home. For the sake of my sanity can you not do this when I’m around? Jackson you’re my best friend and Lucy you’re my little sister. No I did not think about the possibility of having you two living under the same roof, but it seems that’s what’s happening. So get the fuck over yourselves and grow up. I’m going to get the rest of your stuff.”
Dean stormed out of his house and guilt flooded through me. He was right. There was no way any of us could have known what was going to happen and I needed to make the best of if.
“Dean’s right we need to figure out some way to get along.”
Jackson continued to lean against the stairs languid like a cat but I knew better. As relaxed as he seemed he was ready to pounce at the slightest provocation.
“I’ll stay out of your way if you can stay out of mine. I know with your stalker like tendencies that is going to be a challenge for you.”
“You’re such an asshole.”
“You say that but we both know not so deep down inside you want me.”
“Yeah, Jackson I want you.” I dropped my voice into a seductive growl.
His cheek twitched and I walked toward him not stopping until I was on the stair directly below him. I ran a finger down his shirt swallowing at every hard bump I glided over. When I got to the edge of his jeans I yanked him close almost pulling him off the step.
I took the last step so we both occupied it and whispered in his ear. “I want you to leave me the fuck alone.”
With that I walked into the smaller guest room a big smile on my face. Jackson cleared his throat behind me before letting out a deep laugh. My imagination went wild because I wanted to hear the shakiness I thought accompanied his laugh.
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“I’m worried about her. I know you two don’t get along but if you could help me get her out of her room I would appreciate it.”
I opened the crack in my door a little further and listened to Dean plead to Jackson about me. My eavesdropping was by accident but it didn’t mean I wasn’t going to stop listening. It wasn’t my fault the sound bounced off the living room and made its way upstairs to my ears.
I’d just got up to use the restroom and heard Dean say my name, stopping me from making more noise alerting them I wasn’t locked in my room. Then I listened.
It had been a week since I moved back in with Dean. And about the exact same amount of time since I’d ventured out of my new room. Dean had tried to get me to come out with him almost every night even bribing me with my favorite restaurant, but I just wasn’t ready to face the world.
My focus was on my freelance work. Since I’d lost my job my freelance jobs were my lifeline especially if I wanted to move out of my brother’s house in the near future. Or at least that’s what I told him, which really was a lie.
The job I’d lost I really didn’t need. When I graduated with my graphic design degree it was at the right place at the right time. I had so many freelance jobs offered to me I didn’t even need to get a real job. And my bank account verified the fact.
I wouldn’t admit it to Dean or Jackson I just didn’t feel like living alone, and as much as I loved my parents I didn’t think I could live with them. Dean was the perfect solution or was the perfect solution until I found out Jackson lived there also.
The only reason I took the job at Richard’s company was because I felt it was the right thing to do. So many of my peers were struggling to get a decent job out of college and I was doing good from the moment I left. When a real office job was presented to me I thought I had to take it. And falling in love with my boss was a good incentive to get out of bed each morning.
It was stupid really. I’d neglected my freelance jobs because I wanted to impress Richard. Let him know I wasn’t just a girl having sex with the boss. But a girl who had talent and deserved the job. The joke was on me because not only did Richard get the best work I’d ever done for his clients he also got amazing blow jobs. Two jobs for the price of a black eye and a bruised ego.
“I don’t even think she’s showered since she moved in here,” Dean continued.
I sniffed my armpit and gagged quietly. Had it really been a week since I showered? I looked down at my stained tank top and sweats and realized it was probably true.
“I don’t know what you expect me to do?” Jackson said in true asshole form.
I rolled my eyes and flipped him off cursing him with a small penis.
“I don’t know. I just thought.” Dean’s voice sounded defeated and I felt bad for him.
How could I explain to him I wasn’t in here hiding from the world, but I was getting on top of things. Maybe he would feel better if he knew I was making my clients, the ones I should have kept
at top priority where they belonged happy.
And when would I stop lying to myself and admit I was hiding from the world?
“She will come out of her room when she’s ready. I know you’re worried about her, Dean but it will be fine she’s a strong girl.”
“That’s what I thought too but I saw her the other day and she’s skin and bones. You haven’t been around that much because you’re at the farmhouse most of your free time but I don’t think she has eaten anything.”
“Are you sure?” Jackson asked and if it was anyone else I would have sworn I heard panic in his voice.
“Yes, she has always been tiny but now she’s withering away.”
“It will be fine.”
While they were talking about me I studied my arms. Sure I’d lost a little bit of weight and couldn’t really remember the last time I ate but Dean was overreacting.
“Don’t you have a date tonight?” Jackson asked bringing me out of my arm studying.
“I was going to cancel.”
Before I could march down the stairs and tell Dean he was being stupid and even though he was my big brother I was big girl, Jackson did it for me.
“Dean you can’t worry about Lucy. She’s an adult now and she can make her own decisions. When she’s hungry she will come down and eat. You can’t stop living your life because your sister’s pouting over something stupid she did.”
I flipped Jackson off, hard. My middle finger had so much anger and hate directed toward it I wouldn’t have been surprised if Jackson could feel it burning his insides. Sure I didn’t want Dean to cancel his date because of me but Jackson didn’t have to be such a dick about it.
Dean sighed and once again I was smothered in guilt. It seemed guilt was the only emotion I could conjure up any more.
“Go get ready. I’ll stay home and make sure psycho doesn’t off herself.”
It’s not me you should be worrying about losing their life tonight, asshole.
“No, I’m going to cancel.”
First Kiss Page 2