“I was wrong to place that weight on a boy, but I was mad with grief. I just wanted to save him.” She looks up, willing me to understand, but I already do. “He’s the only one I have left.”
“But it didn’t work.”
“No, apparently it didn’t,” she says quietly. “I’m so sorry, Jett.”
“Yeah, Risa. Me, too.”
I stay there after she goes inside, for a long, long time.
26
Two days later, he finally wakes up.
Two days after that, we’re sitting on the porch, sipping coffee. Well, I have coffee. Stephen’s mother is still insisting he drink tea, but when he makes a face for the third time, I slip him my mug.
Taking a sip, he looks at me over the brim. He looks good, especially for a guy who was knocking on death’s door less than a week ago. There is a new line or two around those intense eyes, but they’re bright and sharp. As if they can see right inside my soul.
I look away.
“I’m surprised you’re still here,” he says quietly.
“You almost die saving my life and I’m just supposed to head for the hills? Even I am not that much of a bitch.” I raise an eyebrow. His lips twitch. Then they tighten. He sets his mug down.
“We need to talk, Jett.”
“Uh-oh,” I say softly.
“Yeah. Well.” He takes a deep breath. “I know my mom told you about the curse. I didn’t give a damn, you know. Not at first. I just wanted you. Everything else . . . faded away.” He looks out over the hills. “I thought I could beat it, that we could beat it. Once I got you to trust me, I’d tell you everything and it would work out.”
I clear my throat pointedly. His gaze sidles to mine, a hint of a smirk on his lips. “I know. Pretty goddamn naïve. But . . . I was convinced.”
“Until I killed Seph.”
He sucks in another breath, then winces and rubs at his chest. “I won’t lie; it hurt, Jett. And it made me question everything. I couldn’t deal with it. You and I joke a lot about control. We dance around it, but I thought you were the one with the issue. Turns out it was me all along. I don’t deserve a second chance. But I’m going to ask for one anyway.”
“Why?” I can’t look at him. Forcing the words out is hard enough without facing those eyes, knowing that the emotion in them is a sham. “It’s just a curse, Stephen. It’s not real, what you feel. It—”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he growls.
“This, between us,” I wave a hand helplessly, “it’s just the curse yanking your chain. Magic making you crazy. I’ll stay close until I find a way to break it for you. But let’s not kid ourselves.”
“Have you lost your goddamned mind?” Stephen’s voice comes out as half a roar. I wince as the porch rattles around us.
“Everything all right out there?” Risa calls out, quick footsteps ringing off the floor inside.
“It’s fine, Mam. Fine. Just talking.”
“Uh-huh. Talking.” Her tone is exasperated, but the footsteps stop and retreat. Stephen leans closer to me, his expression fierce. “You think I don’t know my own mind? My own heart?”
I blink at him, feeling that crinkle working deep between my brows. What is he saying? “How can you? The curse—”
He puts a finger over my lips. “Here’s what I’m saying. I love you, you little idiot.” His expression is still grim, but there’s that light in his eyes, the devilish one that only gleams when he’s getting really frustrated with me. “And you love me. Curse or not, I know who you are, Jett Gosse. I see you. Loyalty means everything to me, for obvious reasons. When you did what you did to Seph, I thought it meant you didn’t have any. I didn’t understand then that what you did took incredible courage and trust. Courage to follow through, and trust that your mom was right. You took your sister’s life to save it.
“You save everyone. It’s what you do. Even when it fucks you up and means you might lose everything. You do that because it’s who you are. You’re the most loyal person I have ever met. And now you’re trying to save me, but this stops now.” He taps his chest, right over his heart as my own starts to pound in triple time. “Did you ever figure out what that first tat I had you do said?”
“No.”
“Black as night, she is my light. From the first moment I saw you, you lit up the darkness like a comet. You and that damn sword. And I do trust you. I trusted you with my heart and my life from that second on. I just forgot for a little while.”
“But that was before . . . everything.”
His eyes never leave mine. “I already knew you were going to be my everything.”
“Love at first sight, huh?” I force the words past numb lips. My heart is pounding so fast the porch is spinning around me, all brightly colored stones and gleaming honey-colored wood. And him.
“Nah.” He shakes his head with a small smile. “Love at first sight is impossible, even for cursed shifters. But I knew. There’s that need, that connection—”
“It’s called lust, bruin,” I snap.
He laughs. “Maybe at first, yeah. But then there’s watching you. The way you blow off everyone and everything, until I have to figure out why. Are you really that tough, that cold? I don’t think so. You’re not cold. You’re hot, sizzling passion and fiery pride wrapped up in a take-no-shit woman. You don’t say much, but you miss even less. You’re funny and kind and even though you let Ana take the protective older sister role, it’s really you who embraces the drudgery of the part. Behind the scenes. You watch over them all. Seph and Carly, sure. But Ana, too. Your mom. And nobody knows, do they? ’Cause you don’t want them to. You don’t want anyone to know how much you care.
“Not even me.”
Especially not you.
I swallow and get to my feet, trying not to sway. “What if neither of us can be saved, Stephen? Not really.”
“So? Haven’t we waited long enough? Wasted enough fucking time? You almost died, Jett. I almost died. Please tell me not everyone in your family needs to kick the bucket to learn how to live.”
His exasperated tone pulls a laugh from me, but it dies instantly.
“I’m serious, Stephen. This whole thing, facing Lev again.” I shake my head, trying to sort out what I need to say. “What he did fucked me up. Way more than I ever thought. I . . . I think that’s why my mom chose me to kill Seph.” It’s the first time I’ve been able to admit the truth to anyone, even myself. “Ana would never have been able to take that step, no matter what the stakes were. It would’ve broken her. But I was already broken, see?” Black as night. He reaches for me, but I lift a hand, swallowing hard. “You shouldn’t risk this. I’m not a safe bet.”
“It doesn’t matter, Jett. You are my mate. If I keep trying to refuse the bond, I’ll die anyway.”
Fuck. I scrub my hands over my face. Catch-22, FTC version.
“Bruin . . . I’m not worth this shit.”
“I disagree. And I’ve just had an idea.” He grins and gets to his feet slowly, holding out a hand. “Let me help you.”
I look over my shoulder at the house, wondering if his mother is watching. “You can barely walk yet. How are you going to help me?”
“I saved your ass once already, didn’t I?”
“I’ll give you that one, but I’m not used to being saved.”
“Well, get used to it. I plan on saving you on a regular basis.”
I only stare up at him and that outstretched hand, my heart pounding. He can’t fix this. Pretending otherwise will only hurt us both.
He huffs out an impatient breath, making me frown. “You think you know a lot about bruins, but I bet you’ve only focused on the negative crap. Let me show you what real bruin magic looks like.”
“What do you mean? Bruins don’t have magic. They’re just . . . protectors, right?”
“Not exactly.” He grins and eases down the steps. “Come on, Jett. Take a chance. Please.”
When he holds out his hand agai
n, I take it.
The forest is so pretty. I’ve been in Duluth for a long time, so I know woods, but this is the Black Forest . . . it’s like a fairy tale come to life. In a way, I suppose it is. After all, I’m walking through it, a witch hand in hand with a bruin king.
It makes me laugh. Stephen smiles back at me, then drops my hand as we reach a small clearing. Morning mist still teases the edges of the grassy expanse, making it seem as if we are standing on the clouds instead of the earth.
Then he stops. An uneasy feeling creeps up the back of my spine, the storybook aura of the moment before gone.
“You can feel the difference here, ja?” His accent, so faint since I’ve met him, has thickened in his days here and it’s more than a little sexy. I try to focus. He’s right. This place definitely feels different. Wrong.
For the first time I notice this spot isn’t as pristine as the forest we walked through to get here. It’s a little . . . grey. Dimmer than the rest. Frowning, I notice the garbage strewn here and there, the remnants of a careless campfire. A gas can upended next to a nearby brook.
“People are assholes.” I wrinkle my nose. “Why do they do this?”
“Because they’re people. They create with one hand and destroy with the other.”
I snort. “Like I said, assholes. Shouldn’t we clean up or—”
“You could almost say this part of the forest is broken.” Stephen cuts me off, his gaze intent on my face. “Right?”
“I guess,” I say slowly, not sure what he’s getting at.
“I’m going to shift now, you okay with that?”
“Sure.” But I swallow once, remembering that awful chamber. This time, though, Stephen’s bear doesn’t burst forth with a roar. It’s more of a whisper. One second he’s there, solid and human and sexy, the next, he’s on all fours, even more solid, but this time furry and formidable.
Christ, he’s huge.
I watched this creature tear Lev to bits. Not that I have any qualms about what Stephen did, but finding myself next to an enormous black bear is more than a little disconcerting. I swallow again, then take a step back. I’ve never been this close to a shifted bruin without pain. I force myself to stop retreating. This is Stephen. He isn’t going to hurt me.
His eyes may be deeper and darker than Stephen’s human eyes, with a hint of grey, but they’re still an intense blue. He half closes them as I hesitantly reach out my hand and run it along his snout. His mouth falls open as he chuffs out a breath.
“Like that, do you?”
He bumps his head up, pushing against my palm, exactly like a big, burly cat. I laugh out loud and rub harder, forgetting to be wary. “Don’t think these nose jobs are going to become a regular thing, furface.” His breathy grunt startles me until I realize that’s his idea of a laugh. Damn.
I’ve been so distracted by Stephen playing around I didn’t realize something is happening around us. The energy in the glade is shifting. Magic. The hair on the back of my neck stands straight up. At the same time the trees seem to straighten, too, the green growing more vibrant and clean. The grass beneath my feet shivers, and I can almost see it growing thicker and lusher. Flowers bloom at the edge of the glade, flowers I didn’t even know were there. I open my mouth, then look at Stephen.
He shakes himself from head to toe, black fur rippling. It takes me a second, then I get it. He’s preening. This is him. This is his magic.
Interesting.
I’m a witch, but I’m also a fighter. I’ve always thought of magic as a weapon. Stephen’s magic isn’t like that. There’s nothing to cast because the energy isn’t without, it’s within. Cool and—not calm, not exactly, but whole.
I know what this is. I’ve felt it before, just not in this way.
“You heal, don’t you? That’s the power you were talking about. Not just wounds and stuff, but this . . .” I wave a hand at the land around us. “You make it complete again.”
He nods. Then he stares at me so intently I cock my head, trying to figure out his expression. Slowly, it comes to me.
“You want to heal me?”
He nods again, those big eyes never leaving mine. I can’t lie. The idea scares me. Because I’m terrified this might work.
Terrified it might not.
I trust Stephen. I thought I had stopped, but I was wrong. And he is right. I do love him. But this . . .
He chuffs again, softer, deeper, butting my hip gently with his head as if reading my mind. I swallow. Well, if I can’t take a chance on someone I love and trust, what the hell point is there to anything?
“Have at it then, bruin.”
27
Walking out of the forest with Stephen, I feel better than I have in years. And for the first time since Yule, that sickening weight on my soul is gone. I’m still not sure I’ll ever forgive myself for what I had to do to Seph, but I have hope.
And with hope everything looks a little brighter. Especially my future with a certain stubborn bruin.
Risa is pleased to see us. Something in her expression tells me she has an inkling Stephen and I have sorted things out. She also tells us Merry found my sword and returned it while we were out. She waves at the coat stand next to the door.
With a grin, I pick it up and kiss the hilt. “Hiya, sweetheart.”
“Should I be jealous?” Stephen quips from behind me.
“Nah, I . . .”
The sword is humming in my hand. Almost like it’s singing. With a frown I pull it from the sheath, squinting at it. My sword has never tried to talk before, let alone break into “Ride of the Valkyries.” The crystal starts to glow brighter and brighter.
Stephen throws a hand over his eyes, wincing. “What is going on here, Jett?”
“I don’t . . .” Freya.
One day, it’ll make sense.
Crystal. Healing. Elemental magic.
The fucking queen prophecy.
Oh Christ.
This is it, right here, this is how I break the goddamn curse. He heals me and I . . . heal him. Because whether he realizes it or not, Stephen just gave me elemental magic.
My head is spinning but then I start laughing, and once I start, I can’t stop.
Risa is giving me a weird look as Stephen reaches for me, his own face bemused. But I shake my head, backing away, still laughing. Finally I get the words out.
“Stephen. I think I can break the curse.”
He lowers his hand as Risa sucks in a breath. “How?”
“Right now. With this.” I raise my sword. “Trust me?”
“Always.” Risa’s hand goes to her mouth, but Stephen shakes his head, pushing her gently away. “It’s okay, Mam. Just stay back.”
“Hold out your arm.”
He does, rolling up his sleeve to bare the mark on his forearm without being asked.
I lift the sword, drawing it high above my head. Before I can consider the last time I raised this sword to someone I care about, I bring it down. Stephen ignores the blade, his eyes on me. I hold my breath as that lethal crystal edge, cut by Freya herself, slides right through his skin.
There’s no resistance, no heat. And no wound.
The sword passes through the ugly mark of the curse, as if Stephen is no more substantial than a ghost.
When I pull the blade back before it hits the floor, Risa grabs Stephen’s arm and yanks it up to her eyes, her lips trembling. Then she collapses into her son’s chest, sobbing. Stephen wraps his arms around her and looks at me over his mother’s head, one eyebrow raised.
We both saw it. The arrow is gone, vanished as if it never existed. A minute later, I’m running a thumb over the place where it used to be, still grinning stupidly.
Then, without warning, fear tightens my throat. What if he was wrong? Delusional? Maybe the curse was all that he saw in me. Maybe I’ve just fucked everything to hell and gone. Maybe—
“Ugh, shut up, witch.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“I can hear
your thoughts loud and clear. Bruin, remember? And you accepted the mating bond in that glen.”
“I never said any such thing.” I step back to slam my sword in its sheath, glaring at him.
“It’s not something you say, it’s something you feel.”
“That’s hardly fair. And it’s damn sneaky, if you ask me.”
“Stop whining, witch.”
“But you can hear me now? You didn’t say anything about me being in on your shifter voodoo crap! You goddamn bruin bastard, I . . .”
“Love me?”
The look in his eyes stops me short. He’s said it, but I haven’t. “Well, yes. I guess I do love you. Dammit.”
“Good, ’cause I love you, too, witchy woman. I never needed a curse for that. Now stop borrowing trouble for two seconds and kiss me.”
A week later, we’re back in the States. Germany was grand and all, but I’m more than ready for a real burger and fries, not to mention that the sight of the big lake always settles something inside me.
I don’t see Stephen for a few days. Catching up on king stuff is probably a nightmare, and I have things of my own to take care of. Like talking to Taika. Merry and the gnomes found the bodies of the witches stuffed in various rooms of the castle, including Julie’s. They also found Lev’s parents and the priest Lev had told me about. It was a gruesome tour that I couldn’t make myself take. I don’t care if I never see the inside of a castle again. I was there to make sure all the bodies were laid to rest, though. It probably wasn’t strictly legal, but we buried them all in that glade where Stephen began to heal me.
Threescore & Tequila (Toil & Trouble Book 4) Page 15