Chapter Thirty-Four
Vee groaned all the way to the hospital, but with frustration, not pain. How was she going to get out of this? Every few minutes, Will asked if she was okay and she grew increasingly annoyed. When a doctor examined her, it would be obvious she wasn’t pregnant. But weren’t doctors supposed to maintain confidentiality? Maybe her secret was safe. If Will found out she’d tricked him, he’d go through with the divorce.
In an ideal world, she’d be starting her period now, instead of in a couple of days when it was due. She intended to pretend she’d miscarried. A hint of blood and Will would believe her. Vee knew she could make this work.
“How are you feeling?” Will asked.
She pushed back her irritation and moaned again.
“We’ll be there soon,” he said.
Vee curled up against him and wished she could turn the clock back two years. Things had been perfect then. Will had loved her. He didn’t now. She wasn’t stupid, but she could make him love her again and it wasn’t going to happen while Amazon Addie was around. Vee bristled. What did Will see in her? She didn’t look after herself, her nails were a disgrace. She was far too tall and not super-model elegant, just gangly.
“I hope Addie’s all right,” Vee whispered.
No response.
“What is it you see in her, Will?”
“She’s funny and kind.”
Vee bit the inside of her lip. She was fucking kind. Maybe she wasn’t funny, but how could that be an attraction?
“Is she good in bed?” Vee asked.
“I’m not going to answer that.”
“I suppose you enjoyed fucking a virgin.” Vee remembered losing her virginity at age fourteen in a wood outside Paris. A disappointment. If she could do it all over again, she’d pick someone more experienced. Philippe, her friend’s brother, had barely got inside her before he’d climaxed.
“How do you know she was a virgin?”
“Lisa told me.” And Will had just confirmed it. “You slept with her the first time on the day I arrived in Leeds. And you slept with me after. So were you still thinking of her?” Vee regretted that as soon as she’d said it. She was supposed to be winning him back, not driving him away. She needed to get him to London. Everything would be all right then. Her friends all liked Will. It hadn’t been the same since they’d split up.
Time for more melodrama. “Oh, oh,” she groaned and clutched her stomach.
“Hang on.”
Vee gritted her teeth. She’d spoiled her lovely white coat collapsing onto the snowy drive. It better be worth it.
“I’ll be fine, darling,” she whispered. “And if we lose this baby, we can always try for another.”
They got back to the hotel at three thirty in the morning. Vee slept in his arms all the way back, while Will sat wedged against the door handle, thinking. The doctor had given her a clean bill of health. In fact, Will had the impression the doctor thought they’d wasted his time. The guy was curt, but putting up with Vee complaining at that time in the morning would have made a saint curse.
While Vee was fine, something had happened to Will. As he sat in the waiting room, he thought about what it would like to be a father. Vee was far too needy to survive on her own, and if he walked away another man would bring up his child. Another man would see the first smile, hear the first word and be thrilled by the first step. Will would have to accept his child calling another man daddy. So unless a paternity test proved otherwise, Will wanted to be this child’s father and he’d make sure he at least shared custody.
He settled Vee in his bed and pulled the duvet over her. She’d not moaned at all on the way back. Will wasn’t taken in by the miraculous recovery because he’d come to the conclusion there had been nothing wrong in the first place. He put his hand in his pocket and his fingers closed around the key to Addie’s room. Will had no idea what to say to her, but she was the one person he wanted to talk to. He didn’t believe Vee’s version of the accident. He knew her too well, but because he hadn’t said anything, Addie would think he didn’t believe her. He’d hurt her and now he had to put things right. Again.
When Will opened the door and saw Ed in bed with Addie, he froze. After a moment, he backed out of the room and closed the door with a gentle click. Leaning against the wall outside, he tried to draw a breath into his lungs and couldn’t. When at last the air rushed in, Will knew he was going to cry and he didn’t know where to go. He stood on the landing with tears rolling down his cheeks, caught between a woman he no longer wanted, and another he could no longer have, one that he knew he didn’t deserve.
He thought about getting in his car and driving away, but instead he went back to his room and lay down on the couch.
Sleep was impossible. The idea of Ed holding Addie in his arms, putting his tongue into her mouth, fondling her breasts, thrusting his dick inside her, made him feel sick.
The knowledge that they’d slept together had destroyed something inside him. He’d never forgive Ed for this, never. He didn’t blame Addie at all.
Will got up and walked over to the mini bar. He swept all the bottles onto the floor. He regretted the noise, fearful of waking Vee, but there was no sound from the bed. Will sat with his back to the wall and picked a bottle at random. He unscrewed the top and tipped it into his mouth. Gin. He thought of Addie and the time she’d caught the piece of lemon in her mouth and eaten it rather than spit it out. The tears began again.
After the fourth bottle, Will didn’t even taste what he was drinking and he didn’t stop until he’d finished everything. He wanted to be unconscious, but instead he was filled with fury.
As Will left the room, Ed opened his eyes and watched him go. He pulled Addie closer. His heart had started to beat faster when he heard the door open. He knew who it was. Ed pressed his lips against Addie’s neck. She was warm now, though not all over. Her toes were little icicles wedged between his calves.
Guilt clawed his stomach because he knew how Will felt about Addie. They’d always steered clear of each other’s women. Until now. Will thought Ed liked the tarty ones with no brain, and that he’d sleep with anything in a skirt, but he was wrong. Ed had slept around, he didn’t deny it, but he was choosier than Will thought. And despite what Will imagined, Ed knew the difference between fucking and making love. Addie had woken something inside him and he hadn’t even had sex with her. His dick hardened and he bit back a groan.
Was it love? Was that what it was? Did he love this mixed-up, funny woman with crazy-coloured eyes? If he did love her, he’d not treated her well. It was no good pretending to himself that he hadn’t expected Will to come to her room when he got back. Ed wanted Will to see them together, but as usual hadn’t thought beyond that. Now he’d pushed Addie into a difficult situation. He should have waited. Maybe he’d messed up any chance he had with her. His heart started to pound.
She lay motionless in his embrace. Then something happened that made Ed feel a whole lot worse. His arm was getting wet. She’d seen Will come in. Would she blame Ed for what Will had seen? Her tears fell faster.
“Trying to drown me?” He rolled her over and tilted her face toward his. Ed brushed away a tear with his thumb and forced himself to ask the question. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. It’s not you, Ed. You’ve been kind.”
His stomach twisted. “Do you think I’m in bed with you because I’m kind? I’m not.”
“I shouldn’t have done this.”
Ed felt bursts of pain all over his chest, as though he’d been hit by machine-gun fire. “You haven’t done anything. I was trying to warm you up. You were cold. You might have had hypothermia. I wanted—”
Addie put a finger against his lips. Her body rolled nearer and he tried to keep his overeager dick from touching her, stop his hands reaching for her breasts.
“I know. You only wanted to warm me up.”
Ed moved her hand from his mouth. “I wanted more than that.” He struggled
to breathe under the suffocating weight inside his chest. This might be his only chance to make her see what he could be, to believe him. “I want you, Addie Winter. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anyone more. You are so beautiful, you make my heart ache. I wanted you from the moment I saw you pretending to do those sit-ups in the gym and especially after you lay on that deflating ball and then tried to hide it. Only I didn’t want you for the right reason then, and I do now.” He took a deep breath. “So while part of me is sad you didn’t ask me to spend the night in your room instead of Will, another part of me is glad, because this way I got to know you, to be your friend.”
Addie’s heart skipped around like a spring lamb. Ed wanted her? From the moment he’d climbed into bed, she’d been expecting him to try something, for his hands to cup her breasts or creep between her legs, but he hadn’t touched her like that. He’d pressed his face into her hair and when his breath hit her neck, a shiver of excitement had raced through her. She’d felt his erection against her back. She could hardly miss it, but he hadn’t rubbed against her, or tried to make love to her. It wasn’t the Ed she’d imagined with the others from the office. But maybe he’d figured she needed a different Ed. A slower version.
“Are you still thinking or have you gone to sleep?” Ed whispered. “I mean it, Addie. I know you’re in love with Will, but I had to tell you how I feel.”
Was she in love with Will? He looked like a model, kissed like a demon and she’d thought he was all-round gorgeous. The first man, the first person to make her feel loved and wanted, only he’d let her down. Not just once. He didn’t want her enough. He didn’t love her enough. There was only so much she could forgive and now he was going to be a father whether he liked it or not. He had a responsibility to do the right thing and Addie had to do the right thing too and walk away.
Ed squeezed her fingers. “Do I have a chance?”
How could she believe anything Ed said? She knew what he was like—sexy, smiley-eyed Ed who’d slept his way around the office from the day he’d arrived. Daisy, Beth, Charlotte and now Addie. Addie had a sudden jolt as she realized their names ran from A to D. Was this some kind of game? But then he’d not made love to her. The irony was she wanted him to. Only why? Because she needed to he held, to be wanted? Was she that desperate? Hardly fair to Ed. Addie was pretty sure that if Ed kissed her now, they’d make love. She just needed to be special to someone.
“When you let me hold your hand in Lincoln, it was all I could do not to pull you into my arms and kiss you ’til you forgot Will. I don’t remember the last time I felt that kind of attraction. I saw another side of you, a strong confident woman. I like being bossed around. Well, sometimes. I’m babbling. Talk to me, Addie.”
“I’m thinking,” she whispered.
No matter what Ed said, Addie couldn’t believe he was serious about her. She knew his kind. A player. This was just another technique especially employed for naïve women like her. Ed could charm virgins out of their panties, only this time his brother had got there first. And while part of Addie liked the way he held her, she remembered Daisy telling her about their date and knew she’d be one in a line of conquests.
Still, a little part of her wished Ed would do more than hold her and she wasn’t sure she understood why she felt like that. It was Will she loved, wasn’t it? But Ed was funny and kind. It had been Ed who’d picked her up almost every time that Will had let her down. Ed who’d noticed she was hurt when Will hit her with his car. Ed who’d come looking for her and driven her home after Vee turned up. Ed had even tried to help Will by explaining his brother had left her because Vee had taken an overdose.
Addie tightened her hold on Ed’s fingers. Ed had shown he cared in a way Will never had. He lay with her now, not trying to take advantage, just being there for her, giving her time to think. Addie cared for Ed. More than cared. A lump erupted in her throat and forced tears to her eyes. She should be happy and instead she felt sad.
“Do you want me to go back to my room?” Ed whispered.
“No.” She needed him. She had to tell him that. “Please hold me.”
Addie let herself relax in his arms and finally slept.
Addie stood tapping her fingers on the front desk when out of the corner of her eye she saw Will and Vee coming down the stairs. She turned, hoping to be mistaken for the potted fern.
“Oh, Addie, how are you?” Vee called.
Addie stared at the wire-spectacled guy behind reception, willing him to find the information she’d asked for. Failing that, just talk to her.
“Well, thank you for asking how I am.” Vee sounded indignant. “I could have lost my baby you know. I still could.”
“Vee, shut up,” Will said.
Addie glanced across and saw Will rubbing the heel of his hand over his forehead.
“It serves you right,” Vee hissed. “You drank the entire mini bar.”
Addie no longer felt the need to soothe Will’s head and take away the pain. She was sad he was hurting and wished he could sort himself out but she couldn’t do it for him. She’d always remember he was the first guy to make her believe she was someone worth loving, even if she wasn’t the one he could love the most. But part of her hated him for letting her down. He could have told her everything and he’d told her nothing.
Even now, there was no apology. When he’d come into the room and seen her with Ed, he’d walked out again and drunk himself to oblivion. He could have dragged Ed out of her bed and he hadn’t. The last thing she wanted was the pair of them to fight but Will had just given up. She’d thought he was perfect but how could anyone be perfect? Addie saw she’d been asking too much, not of Will, but of herself. She was intelligent and sensitive but as far as relationships were concerned, she had the experience of a teenager.
“Eleven twenty,” the desk clerk said.
“Thank you.”
“Come and have breakfast,” Vee said to Addie. “I can tell you how I got on at the hospital.”
Addie would rather stick her head in a wasp’s nest. She didn’t turn or raise her eyes beyond the level of the desk, pretending interest in a brochure about golf.
“Vee, you go ahead. I’ll be there in a minute,” Will said.
Addie looked down for a gaping chasm. Nope, solid floor.
“Will?” Vee whined.
Addie tried to convince her feet to move, but after Will turned Vee toward the breakfast room, he made straight for her. Oh God, now he wanted to speak to her, Addie didn’t want to speak to him. Golf had never looked so fascinating. She clutched the brochure so hard, it ripped as Will took it from her.
“Be careful with Ed. He’s quick to entice women into his bed and just as quick to get rid of them. He’s slept with most of the women in the office.”
Is that all you have to say? No apology? No words of kindness?
“His relationships don’t last,” Will said.
Could he not hear himself? Addie raised her eyes to his. “Nor do mine. I seem to be following a pattern, sleeping with men who can’t wait to get rid of me.”
Will paled. “Addie, Ed will hurt you.”
“And you haven’t?” Addie pressed her nails into her palms. “You’re going to be a father, Will. Congratulations. Your wife’s waiting for you.” If he’d said one more word, she’d have broken down. If he’d said he loved her, she might have thrown herself into his arms. He said nothing. After he’d walked away, she turned her attention to the goggle-eyed clerk.
“Could I order a taxi to get me there for that train?” she asked.
“No,” Ed said as he came up behind her. “You’re not leaving.”
“I want to go home.”
“We don’t always get what we want.” He took her elbow and directed her toward the front door. “I need to have a word with you in private.”
As they stepped outside, Addie shivered.
“I expected to wake up with you lying next to me. I was looking forward to a kiss,” Ed said with a smile.
And maybe more than that, Addie thought.
“You mustn’t leave. Don’t let Vee win. Fight back, Addie. Give your version of what happened.”
He wanted her to fight for Will? Addie wrapped her arms around herself. Maybe she’d imagined last night, made it into something it wasn’t. Oh God, Ed was just being kind and she’d thought— She looked up as a tow truck came along the drive.
“You want everyone to believe Vee or you?”
“Why would anyone believe me?” Addie mumbled.
“You’re not giving them the chance if you keep quiet.” Ed moved closer. “What did Will just say to you?”
“That you’ll hurt me. That your relationships don’t last.”
Ed sighed. “I’ve had two long-term affairs and had my heart broken twice. I didn’t think I wanted to risk another, but I do.”
Addie’s pulse jumped.
“I won’t push you, Addie. I know this is bad timing. But I promise I’ll never hurt you.”
“How can you promise that?” Addie kept looking down.
Ed turned her to face him. He bent his head, and kissed her. He brushed his lips along hers, a feathery touch, and when she didn’t pull away, he kissed her more firmly, sliding his tongue along the underside of her top lip. Addie melted, moulding her body into his and he tightened his grip. Why did he make her feel like this? She knew what he was like so why did she want him?
Because she trusted him.
The thought hit Addie like a thump in the chest. Ed was the one she trusted.
The truck pulled up next to them and Addie broke away, taking little panting breaths, lazy smoke signals puffing into the cold morning air.
“I can promise I’ll never hurt you because I want to keep doing that,” he said.
Addie gulped. “Lisa’s.” She pointed to the car behind the truck.
They watched as the driver got out to disengage the vehicle.
“How much damage?” Ed asked.
Doing the Right Thing Page 31