Thomas read the poster again. The soldier had his hands to his mouth, and he was calling out ‘Cooee!’. Thomas had to admit it was enticing. ‘Won’t you come?’ the soldier asked. At the bottom of the poster were the words ‘ENLIST NOW!’.
Thomas thought of his father and his scorn. The anger Thomas felt was still just below the surface. He contemplated his mother and how he hadn’t been able to save or protect her. He considered Howard and his brother’s relationship with Ernest. Why was it so different to his own? Then he looked at the white feather still in his hands.
He turned it over slowly. Elizabeth popped into his mind. Strong, witty, lovely Elizabeth. Her last letter had encouraged him to come back to the station. To work as a jackaroo for a time. But they both knew it wasn’t going to happen. Their friendship was just that. A friendship.
Elizabeth was a ‘blue stocking’—highly intelligent and without regard for society’s constraints. The way she turned the wool over in her hands and spoke so passionately about it . . . Anyway, Thomas knew there would never be anything more. Couldn’t be anything more.
With one more glance at the poster, he let the white feather float to the ground and turned away. Without a backwards glance, he went to find his friends.
‘Another round, Herbie.’ Thomas waved some notes across the bar. A cheer went up from his mates.
Gecko clapped him on the shoulder and held a foaming glass high in the air. ‘Here’s to Tommo,’ he said drunkenly. ‘And fuck all those white-feather givers.’
Another cheer went up.
‘Well, I’ll be. If it isn’t the budding horseman from the shearing sheds.’
Thomas looked up from the bar with blurry eyes. For a long moment, he didn’t recognise the man or any of his friends behind him.
‘Ha! Can’t remember me, eh?’ The bloke rubbed the three-day growth on his chin and smirked. ‘Something about a horse and . . .’
With embarrassment, Thomas suddenly recognised the man. It was Donnie, the jackaroo from Carpoole Station.
‘Donnie,’ Thomas said. He nodded, or at least tried to. His head wouldn’t do what he wanted and flopped to one side.
‘Can’t hold your liquor either, shed boy?’ Donnie gave a bark of unpleasant laughter.
‘Piss off, you idiot.’ Gecko stood and moved towards them.
Donnie spread out his hands as if in mock misunderstanding. ‘What?’ he asked. ‘I’m just saying hello to an old friend. We could have a catch-up drink. Give him some tips on riding, you know?’
‘You’re no mate of ours. You never welcome us when we come to shear, so we won’t be welcoming you to “have a catch-up drink”.’ Gecko drew himself up to his full height and stared down at Donnie with the glazed look of a man who’s had too much alcohol.
‘Yeah.’ Thomas echoed Gecko’s statement.
‘I guess I won’t be, then.’ Donnie turned to leave. ‘Ah! I meant to ask: were you fellas given white feathers? Suit you lot, I reckon. Especially you, Thomas. Figure you’re a bit of a ’fraidy cat. Like to stay away from all that? Not like us. We’ve just signed up, haven’t we lads?’ He turned to his mates for confirmation.
‘Well, you just head off and get yourself shot at,’ Gecko responded.
Thomas was so enraged at the echo of Ernest’s words, he lunged at Donnie. The sound of fisticuffs reverberated throughout the bar. Gecko joined in, but not before Donnie’s mates had come to their friend’s rescue.
‘Oi!’ yelled the bartender as the other shearing team members moved to help.
Within minutes there was a full-blown melee in the bar. Thomas had never fought, had avoided it all his life, and he knew in the back of his muddled brain that he’d ended up in a situation he’d always sworn he wouldn’t—drinking and hitting another human. But he was too livid to care. Someone had to pay for the anger he felt.
He was no quitter.
He was no coward.
Surely his life had shown that.
But as a strong hand grabbed the back of his neck and yanked him away from the brawl, he had a sneaking sense that perhaps Donnie and his own father were right. Maybe he was a coward. Maybe the fact he’d left Nambina didn’t mean anything. Perhaps it didn’t show he was prepared to move on and make something of himself. Maybe it just revealed that he was willing and able to run. Run away from things that were hard, things he wasn’t prepared to stand and fight for.
Dimly, he saw a police uniform. ‘You bloody idiots,’ a gruff voice said. ‘Save this sort of thing for the front line, if you can’t behave yourself here. You’re going into the lockup.’
Somewhere within the heavy stone walls of the Port Augusta police station, Thomas made a decision. He would enlist. He would go to the front line. Because, as much as he hated to admit it, he could see traits of his father within himself.
He’d let himself down and become what he’d sworn he would never be. In those few minutes, he’d actually become his father.
Ernest had accused him of having his mother’s split personality. She didn’t have anything of the sort, it was only what his father saw in her, but Thomas knew his own emotions could rise so quickly and fiercely that they frightened him.
That’s why he never said much.
He never let himself think about things that hurt him.
He’d rarely had a drink—until today.
Perhaps the war was the best place for him. And with any luck, he’d be killed over there and he wouldn’t have to come home and face it all again. Because home would always be here, waiting to confront him.
See? Thomas thought. Knew you were weak.
Chapter 26
2008
Rip turned in circles, trying to chew off his new collar. He sat down and shook his head a few times in an attempt to dislodge it, then once again chased himself around and around, his mouth open, tiny teeth trying ever so hard to grab at the leather.
Laura laughed. ‘Sorry, little friend,’ she said. ‘That has to stay on.’ She bent down and lifted the pup into the front of the ute, then climbed into the driver’s seat.
She felt a little paw on her thigh. ‘Nope,’ she said gently, then, remembering she was training Rip, she repeated herself, more firmly this time. ‘No, Rip. No. On the floor.’
She picked up the pup and put him back where he was meant to be. ‘Time to introduce you to the girls and the sheep,’ she said as she hit the ignition key. Hearing the diesel warmer click in, she turned the key. But she wasn’t rewarded by the sound of the engine starting, just the tick of a dead battery. ‘Bugger.’
Laura popped the bonnet and got out. Perhaps it was just a bad connection. She wiggled the terminals on the battery then tried to start the ute again. It was definitely flat. ‘Bugger,’ she said again. She’d have to bring the other ute over and do a jump start.
As she headed for the shed where the other cars were kept, she saw Robyn, still dressed in her pyjamas, come out of the students’ quarters, with Will Scott following close behind. Laura pretended not to notice. How the girls spent their spare time was their business.
In the shed, she grabbed the jumper leads and, reversing out in the students’ work ute, she drove it over to her own vehicle.
She worked quickly to connect the leads to both batteries. This time, she was rewarded with the sound of a revving engine.
Laura reached in and gave Rip an absent-minded pat as she walked past the window and opened the door. His high-pitched yap made Laura want to pick him up and cuddle him, but she knew she couldn’t. Not if she was going to train him to be a great sheep dog. She’d pat him, be kind and loving, but she couldn’t mollycoddle him. He’d have to grow up to love her and want to do anything for her, but he would also have to be tough, so he’d still keep working, no matter the weather or conditions.
‘Sit down on the floor,’ she commanded and gently pushed him onto the mat. Rip seemed to understand what was expected. With the heater going, it wasn’t long before he was snoozing.
Laura drov
e the other ute back to the shed. Before climbing out, she leaned over to pop the glove box and pulled out the logbook. She wanted to check it was being filled in correctly.
She noticed Allie’s writing in all the entries. It didn’t matter that there was only one of them filling it out, she decided. At least it was being done properly.
Laura tried to return the book to the glove box but it was a tight fit and it took some effort to wiggle it back in. Something fell out and she grabbed it. It was a pouch of tobacco. Port Royal tobacco.
‘Weird,’ she muttered. As far as she knew, none of the girls smoked. She looked at it again. Perhaps it was Will’s, although she knew there was no reason for him to be in the ute, which was for farm use only.
She regarded the packet again, then pushed it back into the glove box. It wasn’t her business if the girls smoked occasionally. Just so long as they didn’t do it in the ute, and it didn’t smell like they did, so who was she to judge?
‘Morning.’
Laura turned at the sound of Allie’s voice. She opened her mouth to respond with ‘good morning’ but as soon as she saw the young woman’s face, she blurted out: ‘Are you okay?’
‘Think I’m sick,’ Allie answered. Her eyes and nose were red, her skin pale and hair greasy. She was till dressed in pyjamas, but her feet were bare.
‘It looks that way,’ Laura answered. ‘How do you feel?’
‘Pounding head, sore throat. Probably just a cold or a virus, but do you mind if I don’t come to work today?’
‘That’s fine. I’ve got something that’ll help your throat over in the house, if you want it.’
Allie shook her head. ‘I’m just going to go back to bed to sleep,’ she answered. ‘Hope I’ll be a bit better tomorrow.’
‘Okay, then. Call if you need anything. Better put some shoes on.’ She looked over Allie’s shoulder. ‘The others just about ready?’
Allie shook her head. ‘I don’t know. I didn’t want to infect them so I slipped out the back door.’
Laura glanced at her watch. They weren’t late yet. ‘I’ll check on you later today, if you like.’
‘No.’ Allie’s tone was annoyed. ‘I’ll be fine, Laura. Honestly. It’s just a cold. Give me a day and I’ll be better.’ She turned to leave. ‘Sorry, I just feel shitty. See you later.’
‘Righto, then.’ Laura moved away towards her ute. ‘Hope you feel better soon.’
Rip had woken up by the time she returned. When she opened the door she was hit by the smell of poo and urine. ‘Great,’ she groaned. ‘I’ll have to get you toilet-trained fast, mate.’ She lifted him onto the tray and went inside for a bucket of hot water.
‘What an excellent start to a Monday,’ she muttered to herself as she poured a liberal amount of sweet-smelling disinfectant into the bucket.
She heard Tegan’s voice. ‘I’m in the laundry!’ she called out.
‘Oh, Laura! He’s so gorgeous!’ Tegan appeared, holding Rip in her arms.’
‘Very gorgeous,’ Laura answered dryly. ‘He’s just shat and pissed all through my ute.’
Rip barked and Laura couldn’t help but smile.
‘Oh,’ Tegan gushed. ‘He’s saying sorry, aren’t you, my pretty one?’
Laura shook her head. It never ceased to amaze her that baby animals reduced adult humans to dribbling, baby-talking messes, herself included.
‘Where did you get him?’ Tegan asked.
Laura lifted the bucket from the sink and headed out the door. ‘Dad brought him as a present. He came down for the weekend.’
‘Well, I want one too!’
Laura gave a laugh. ‘Yeah, until he chews your boots and craps in your ute!’ She started scrubbing the mess while Tegan continued to goo and gah over Rip.
‘Morning!’
Laura looked up to see Robyn approaching from the shed. ‘Hi!’ she answered and waited for Robyn to comment on Rip. But Robyn didn’t say anything. She just reached out to pat the pup.
‘So what’s on the go for today?’ Robyn asked. Her tone was clipped and she sniffed as she spoke.
‘You’re not getting sick too, are you?’ Laura asked, giving the girl a once-over.
‘I’m fine.’ Robyn’s tone suggested there was to be no more questioning.
Laura took the hint. Fight with Will, she surmised.
‘I’d like to get the green-tag ewes in from Gum Paddock and give them a drench. I reckon we should run them through the dip too. Got any ideas why?’
She gently took Rip away from Tegan so they could concentrate on what she was saying.
‘I noticed the ewes were a bit shitty,’ Tegan said. ‘I was out there on Friday after everything. You know, so they’d get flyblown fairly easily in this weather, I guess. It’s certainly getting warmer.’
‘Yep, you’re right, Tegan,’ she said. ‘In a week or two it’ll be perfect conditions for flies to cause problems if you don’t think ahead and prevent them.’ She paused. ‘Now what about the shitty bums? Any ideas?’
The two girls were silent for a moment and then Robyn looked up. ‘I saw a couple of dead ones out there last week, and some of the lambs look like they’ve got dirty arses too. Would they have worms?’
Laura pointed her finger at Robyn like a gun. ‘Bingo!’ she said. ‘The lambs probably aren’t doing as well as they could. Shitty bums often mean an upset tummy, which means they’ve had a change in their diet. But it can mean other things and worms could be one of them. Now, if mum isn’t feeling so hot because she’s got parasites, then she’s going to make less milk because she’s trying to save herself. Lamb doesn’t get as much to drink, so starts looking elsewhere—green grass. Change of diet. Shitty bums. Flies. It all follows on.
‘If we get rid of the worms, the ewes will start milking a bit better and hopefully the lambs will get a bit more to drink. They’re a little too small to wean yet, so a drench for both mum and baby, then a run through the jetting race to stop any flies and we shouldn’t have to touch these little fellas until it’s time to start weighing them for the trucks. Any questions?’
Both the girls shook their heads.
‘Great. Now, once we’ve done this mob, I’d like to start bringing the rest of the sheep through. It’s definitely time to start the fly-prevention rotation. So it’ll be mostly sheep work this week.’
‘I’ll get the ute,’ Robyn said before walking off.
‘And I’ll set the yards up,’ Tegan said, reaching forward to give Rip a final pat.
‘Sounds like a plan.’ Laura nodded her approval. ‘What’s up there?’ she asked Tegan, inclining her head towards Robyn.
She shrugged. ‘Been a bit off since yesterday evening. Not sure if she and Allie had words or if it was Will. Something like that. See? There are plenty of good reasons to be single!’ She flashed a grin and Laura laughed with her.
‘Oh, and while I’m thinking about it, which of you girls smoke?’ Laura asked off the cuff.
Tegan stopped. ‘Smoke? None of us. You said in the criteria you wanted non-smokers.’
Laura was convinced she saw the girl redden a little. ‘I know I did,’ she said, ‘and I was sure you all were. But I was looking at the logbook in the ute this morning and a pouch of roll-your-own tobacco fell out. I’m not going to judge, although I’d rather you didn’t,’ she quickly added. ‘And no one will lose their job, because I know you’re not smoking in any of the vehicles, but I’d like to know who it is.’
Tegan shook her head emphatically. ‘I’ve never seen anyone smoke. Even when we’re at the pub. Did it have any tobacco in it?’
‘I didn’t open it,’ Laura answered. ‘Just put it back.’
‘Honestly, I’ve never seen any of the others smoke,’ Tegan repeated. ‘I don’t know whose it is.’
‘Okay,’ Laura said. ‘Let’s get these sheep. And you,’ she looked down at Rip, who had fallen asleep in her arms, ‘it’s your first look at those furry aphids!’
It was a busy week. In the en
d, Allie was off sick for all five working days. They managed to get everything done but, by Friday afternoon, Laura was exhausted. Walking the last of the straggler ewes and lambs back to the paddock, she noticed, on the other side of the fence, her four rams grazing. They lifted their heads and regarded her solemnly. Laura smiled. It had only been a few weeks since Random’s accident but already it seemed like ages ago.
Now Laura surveyed the gently undulating landscape. The colour of the lush grass was beginning to fade. It wouldn’t be long before it turned golden and, a month later, summer would well and truly be upon them. She tried to estimate what sort of fuel load she’d have when summer’s dry thunderstorms raced through, risking lightning strikes and fires.
Rip strained against his tight lead, anxious to get to the sheep. He was far too small to be able to get in the yards with the sheep yet—it would only take a ewe to knock him over and he’d break a leg or become too scared to work with the animals.
She whistled softly. ‘Here, Rip, come behind.’ Then she jerked the lead towards her so Rip knew she wanted him beside her ankle.
She held him firmly there for a few moments then said: ‘Way back!’ She let the lead loose. Rip, feeling freedom, took off until he reached the end of the tether.
A ewe, her lamb beside her, turned to stare at the pup. He gave a short, high bark and she stamped her foot in warning.
‘Come behind, Rip,’ Laura said.
The lamb took a step towards Rip and he froze, one paw in the air, the other three on the ground.
The lamb took another step and Laura stopped to see what would happen.
Another step, another step, until lamb and pup were almost touching noses.
Rip suddenly let out another bark and the lamb turned tail and scampered back to its mother.
Laura laughed. ‘The last of the brave hounds!’
She turned when she heard an engine.
Robyn pulled up beside her. ‘Need a ride?’ she asked with a cheeky grin. Her mood had improved as the week had gone on, Laura noticed.
‘Absolutely.’ She tucked Rip under her arm and got in.
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