Crimson Dawn

by Fleur McDonald

  Laura saw Josh get out of his ute and look around.

  ‘Because then, if you do hear something yourself, you’re not relying on hearsay. You’re acting on truth. I know you don’t feel like you’ve got much time, that you need to do something soon, so maybe just wait a couple of days. Think back to when she first started. See if you can remember how different she was then. Look at her skin, her weight, quality of work, personal hygiene. That sort of thing.’

  ‘Georgie, that sounds like a plan. I’m going to have to go now. I have a visitor and I don’t know what he wants.’

  ‘Sure, sweetie. Let me know how you get on. I’ll tell your father you called.’

  Laura had been walking towards the door, but now she stopped at the sound of knocking.

  ‘Bloody hell,’ she muttered.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Georgie asked down the line.

  ‘Josh is here.’

  ‘Josh?’ The surprise in Georgie’s voice echoed Laura’s.

  ‘Yeah. Hey, Georgie? Thanks. I appreciate you listening and your advice. I’ll call you later, okay? Love to Dad.’ She hung up the phone and stood still. The knocking sounded again.

  Swallowing, she pulled open the door and stood there, her face set.

  ‘Hello, Laura,’ Josh said with a half smile.

  ‘Josh.’

  ‘How are you?’

  ‘Fine. How can I help you?’

  Josh’s poise faltered and he ran his hand through his hair. ‘I told you last night. I wanted to apologise.’

  ‘And I told you, I had nothing to say to you. Thank you for your apology. I appreciate you making the effort to come here but I have nothing further to say. So if you wouldn’t mind leaving, please.’ She started to shut the door but Josh reached out to stop her.

  ‘Laura, if you’d just listen . . .!’

  ‘What the hell is this?’ Laura snarled, eyes flashing. ‘Why, after all this time, do you want to talk about it? I’ve put it behind me. You made your choice back then by reacting the way you did. That means you don’t get a second chance.’ She blinked hard, emotions welling. ‘Please, Josh, just go. I don’t want to dredge up all the memories.’

  ‘I want to talk now,’ he insisted as he took a step towards her.

  Laura was forced to look up at him. Josh had always been tall, but never before had she felt intimidated by him. She did now.

  ‘Don’t come in here,’ she said, her voice shrill. ‘I don’t want you in the house. It’s been too long. It can’t be fixed. Just go.’

  He stood and stared at her for a long time. Still feeling wary, she avoided his gaze. Finally he let the door go and turned to stomp back down the path.

  Laura locked up and went to the window in the office to make sure he had left. She crossed her arms over her stomach, the way she had when she was first pregnant, like she was trying to protect the baby. Fat lot of good that had done.

  ‘Why now?’ she whispered into the empty room. ‘Are you jealous? Or are you scheming with your sister? Do you really want to clear the air?’ She found herself shaking her head. There had to be more to it.

  Later that evening Laura took Rip out for a walk and detoured past the students’ quarters. Music sounded from inside.

  Laura knew the other girls hadn’t come home from their weekend yet and she toyed with the idea of knocking on the door.

  Could she live with herself if she didn’t act quickly and something happened to Allie? Laura was sure she couldn’t.

  Without thinking, she walked over and tapped lightly on the door. Allie opened it with a smile.

  ‘Laura, hi. Oh you’ve got Rip! Hello there, little fella.’ She knelt to pat the pup.

  ‘Hi, Allie. I knew you were here by yourself. Just wanted to pop by and see how you were feeling.’ She sniffed the air, trying to detect any foreign scents, but all she could smell was cleaning fluid.

  ‘Much better,’ Allie answered, still playing with Rip. She looked up at Laura. ‘Sorry if I worried you. I just felt so terrible, I was having trouble being civil.’

  Laura assessed the situation then gave Allie a large grin. Robyn must be wrong. ‘No worries. I’m pleased you’re feeling better.’

  ‘Right as rain.’

  They chatted for a while longer before Laura said goodbye, feeling greatly relieved.

  As she opened the door into the house she heard a man’s voice. Someone was leaving a message on her answering machine. She took her time getting to the office; she didn’t want to answer it.

  A nervous energy ran through her as she pushed the ‘Play’ button on the machine.

  ‘G’day, Laura. It’s, um, Tim.’

  He cleared his throat. It was cute the way he sounded so nervous, she thought.

  ‘Just wanted to say I had a great time last night. And, ah, was wondering if you wanted to come to the pub for dinner tonight? It might be too late notice for you, but I’ve just got off call. Anyway, give me a yell if you like. You’ve got my number.’

  Laura sat down in her office chair and stared at the answering machine. Was it worth getting involved with another bloke? Last night, with an alcohol buzz and in good company, she’d decided it was. If he’d asked her last night, she’d have happily gone out with him again this evening.

  However, Josh’s reappearance reminded her just why she didn’t trust men. They could cause too much hurt. It was much easier to just keep them at a distance. Friends, but nothing more.

  She took her mobile phone out of her pocket and typed a text message: ‘Sorry, can’t meet tonight. Busy. L.’

  She hit the send button and closed her eyes.

  Chapter 30

  2008

  Laura surveyed the small paddock of barley. Robyn and Tegan were bent down beside her, assessing the crop.

  She felt a surge of pleasure. The barley was growing well, albeit deficient in some trace elements.

  When Laura had started the jillaroo school she knew she’d have to cover as many aspects of farming as possible, which would mean extending herself beyond what she was used to. And that would include cropping. Nambina already had a herd of ten cows and a bull, but while Howie had been alive there’d been little cropping done by a contractor. To seed, spray and harvest had been as steep a learning curve for Laura as it had been for the students she taught. But the effort had been worth it.

  She turned to look down the laneway. They were waiting for Allie to arrive in the tractor, but there was still no sign.

  Now that Laura was paying attention, she realised that, compared to when Allie started on Nambina in June, she was quite a different girl. Allie had been given several opportunities to prove herself over the previous three weeks and, more often than not, she’d made mistakes.

  Laura was almost at her wit’s end, but she was torn, too. She didn’t want to let Allie go, frightened of what might happen to the girl if she gave up on her. She wished she knew what had changed in Allie’s life. She wanted Allie to talk to her, to ask for help, but until she did, Laura felt her hands were tied.

  A couple of times Laura had picked up the phone to ring Tim for his advice, but she’d hung up before the call connected. After she’d rejected his dinner date, he’d gone quiet, and Laura had decided that, maybe, if he was put off so easily, he could stay quiet.

  When she’d said as much to Catherine in an email, her friend had yelled at her across cyberspace:

  YOU ARE A STUBBORN, PIG-HEADED IDIOT. HE’S NICE. GET OVER YOURSELF. Love C xxxx

  Georgie and Sean had phoned to check on Allie’s progress but neither of them had any further words of wisdom. There was little that could be done without proof, or Allie asking for assistance.

  Now Laura watched as Tegan and Robyn walked out into the middle of the paddock and knelt down to study the plants again. Harry, the local agronomist, had been out the previous day to take the girls on a crop tour. They returned to report that the crop needed spraying with a couple of trace elements. Allie’s job today was to fill up the fuel tank an
d the boom spray, add manganese and zinc to the water, get it mixed then bring it to the paddock.

  The way Laura liked to teach was to have one girl at a time in the cab with her. She’d do a lap around the paddock and show the student how to use all the controls, watch for blocked jets and so on. Then she’d do the same with the other girls. Once everyone had had a turn, she’d hand over the controls to the first girl and sit with her, making sure everything was done correctly. Then it would be a repeat for the rest of the class.

  It worked well and the one-on-one approach gave the young women the chance to ask any questions without embarrassment.

  Robyn pulled a leaf off the barley plant and held it up for Laura to see. ‘So it’s this yellowness we’re going to fix?’ she called.

  ‘That’s right,’ Laura answered.

  Robyn nodded.

  Laura dug down into the soil. ‘See here,’ she called. ‘It’s still damp at the roots, which is great. I haven’t seen any evidence of frost damage so I reckon this crop has got great potential. Trouble is, you’ve never got it until it’s actually in the silo.’

  They turned at the sound of an engine. About time, Laura grumbled to herself without looking up.

  Allie swung the tractor through the gate and into the paddock. There was a loud crunching noise.

  Laura’s head shot up. ‘What the—?’ She ran over.

  Allie quickly pulled to a halt. The noise had been the sound of the boom spray hitting the gate.

  Laura closed her eyes and tried to breathe calmly. This was a school, she reminded herself. You had to expect mistakes and accidents. The trouble was, this wasn’t Allie’s first mistake by any means. Laura had to admit she’d been half-expecting something to go wrong. In fact, she’d set Allie up to test her.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ Allie said, her face white as she climbed down from the tractor. ‘I was sure there was heaps of clearance.’

  ‘It’s fine, it’s fine. But when you’re coming through a gate, you must slow down and watch behind you. If you’d been a bit slower and seen what was going to happen, you could have stopped before any damage was done.’

  Robyn and Tegan hung back, looking uncomfortable. They clearly knew as well as Laura that there was a problem with Allie’s work. The previous week she had been refuelling the ute but left it and got caught up in the shed. The tank had overflowed, and litres and litres of expensive diesel had poured onto the ground. Before that, she’d been mustering a paddock and, even though Laura had told her there was a wire gate across the laneway, Allie had forgotten and driven right through it, wrecking the gate and breaking off one of the spotlights.

  Now Laura inspected the damage to the boom spray. The jets had been torn off the bottom of one arm. She glanced over at the girls. ‘I’m going to ring the machinery dealership and order the parts. Robyn and Tegan, can you head into town and pick them up?’

  The two girls nodded but didn’t speak.

  ‘Righto,’ Laura said. ‘You guys take my ute and get going, and I’ll give them a call. Just chuck me my mobile before you take off.’

  Tegan and Robyn nodded silently and walked over to the ute, parked under a tree.

  Laura ran her fingers along the boom spray and pulled off a couple of the smashed jets. ‘I should have had some on hand,’ she muttered, disappointed with her disorganisation. Finding a part number, she said to Allie: ‘Can you get a pen and paper, please?’

  When Allie returned from the tractor cab, Laura dictated the number. ‘We need five of these. There doesn’t actually seem to be any damage to the boom itself. It’s just these jets, so that’s a good thing.’

  The ute pulled up beside them. ‘Here you go.’ Tegan handed Laura her phone through the window.

  ‘Thanks. Hey, while you’re in there, can you pick up a bag of puppy food from the merchandise store. Rip has just about eaten me out of house and home.’

  The girls tried to smile and act like nothing had happened but it was forced. ‘Sure,’ Robyn answered before letting the clutch out a little too quickly. They were obviously keen to get away.

  Laura turned back to Allie.

  ‘I’m really very sorry, Laura,’ the girl said. ‘I wasn’t concentrating.’

  ‘But that’s the problem isn’t it, Allie? You haven’t had your mind on the job for quite a few weeks now. There’s been more than one accident. The overflowing fuel I can live with, even though it cost a lot of money. The other incidents . . .’ She pursed her lips and tried to work out how to phrase what she wanted to say. ‘I know there are going to be times that things get broken. That’s to be expected on a farm, and especially on a teaching farm. I have insurance to cover these sorts of things. But what I don’t like is knowing that you’re not thinking about what you’re doing. These accidents could be avoided if you were focusing.’

  Allie looked at the ground.

  Laura tried to give her a comforting smile to take away the sting of her words. ‘Is there something on your mind? Something you’d like to tell me about?’

  Allie shook her head. ‘No,’ she muttered.

  ‘Well, then, you need to think about this. I can’t have you making mistakes that put the others in danger. If you’re a safety risk, you just can’t be here.’

  Allie’s head snapped up. ‘What? I love it here. You can’t sack me! And I haven’t hurt anyone. Diesel overflowing doesn’t kill anyone.’ Her voice sounded angry.

  ‘But forgetting to put a tractor in park does.’ There was silence. ‘I’m not sacking you right now,’ Laura calmly continued. ‘I am telling you, you need to get your act together or I’ll have to ask you to leave. Don’t forget, you signed a contract. There’s a safety clause in there.’ She stopped, then rushed on, the emotion clear in her voice. ‘Allie, you paid to come here. This is a teaching course, like going to uni, or TAFE, or some other type of educational institution. Do you really want to waste your money?’

  Allie looked as if she wanted to argue, but didn’t. Instead, she shook her head.

  ‘If you were out in the workplace, you wouldn’t have a job right now,’ Laura finished.

  ‘Okay.’ The sulkiness was obvious.

  Laura wanted to shake the girl. She’d been more than patient with her. ‘So.’ She lightened her tone. ‘Let’s move on, get the tractor back to the shed and fixed. We should still have time to get the spraying done before dark.’

  Laura jumped up into the tractor and hit the key. Allie followed her up the steps and took the little seat next to her. Laura frowned. There was an odour in the cab that she didn’t recognise. She sat there a few moments trying to place the smell, then put the machine in gear and turned it towards the shed.

  ‘I think it would be a good idea if you took the rest of the day off,’ Laura said evenly. ‘Have a long weekend, since it’s Friday. Have a think about what I’ve said and front up again on Monday with a whole new attitude.’

  Allie looked defiant but nodded. ‘Okay.’

  When they arrived at the shed, a ute was parked outside. Laura felt Allie stiffen beside her. ‘What the hell’s he doing here again?’ she muttered, her anger directed towards the man waiting near the student’s quarters.

  She shut off the tractor. Allie climbed out first. Then Laura got out and walked straight towards Josh.

  ‘What are you doing? I’ve told you before, I don’t want you here. This is the third time in as many weeks. I haven’t changed my mind, so don’t you think it’s unlikely I will?’ She turned to her student. ‘You can head off. I’ll catch you on Monday.’

  Allie looked from one to the other and Laura saw a flash of relief cross the girl’s face.

  ‘Are you sure?’ Allie asked.

  ‘Very,’ Laura answered.

  Laura noticed that Josh’s eyes followed the girl as she made her exit. When Allie was out of ear shot, Josh said, ‘Why won’t you let me explain what happened that day? Howie wouldn’t let me through the door then and you won’t now. Meghan brainwashed me into believing ever
ything she said.’

  ‘I can’t understand why you feel the need to. It’s reopening old wounds for me, Josh. Neither you nor Meghan have any idea what I’ve been through. Just think about it. I lost my unborn child, the father of my child and my best friend in one hit. You betrayed my trust the second you believed Meghan instead of me.’

  Laura turned her back and walked away. ‘And Howie didn’t let you in because I told him not to,’ she said over her shoulder as a parting shot.

  She heard a car start and looked over to see Allie’s dual-cab driving off. She’d obviously taken the long weekend option.

  Shutting the tractor door firmly, Laura started it up and drove out of the shed compound. She didn’t care where she was going, she just had to get away from Josh. She knew he wouldn’t follow her.

  When she spotted Josh’s car driving along the main road half an hour later, she returned to the shed. Parking on the cement pad where all the maintenance was done, she went to get her tools. Then she started to remove the broken jets. She knew it would help to be busy, but she kept thinking about Allie and Josh.

  Deep down, Laura was certain it was the drugs getting to Allie. She just had to catch her at it so she could get her some help. And as for Josh, well, she just wished he’d piss off. He was getting creepy.

  Her phone rang and she answered it without looking at the screen.

  ‘What’s going on out at Nambina, then?’ Tim asked by way of greeting.

  Laura paused before answering. ‘Just the usual. Work.’

  ‘Right. Same here.’

  Laura threw down the spanner she was holding and sank onto the ground. She couldn’t be bothered trying, so she let the silence stretch out.

  ‘I should have rung before now,’ Tim said finally. ‘I sort of got nervous after you said you were busy a few weeks back.’

  ‘What makes you think I’m not now?’

  Laura listened as Tim blew out a breath. ‘You can be so damn obstinate,’ he said finally.

  She drew in the dirt with her finger. ‘Sorry,’ she answered. ‘I got cold feet.’