“What’s the second reason he’s called Roper?” His look changed as he considered telling me. “What?”
“I think you should ask Roper for that answer, or Titan.”
“Come on, neither of them are here.”
“No, you need to ask one of them.”
“Why Titan? It’s Roper’s name that I want the meaning behind.”
Chink shook his head. “Ember, you need to understand how the club works. Titan claimed you. He’s let it be known that you are his.”
I seethed inside. “He doesn’t own me. I’m not his property.”
“To the club, you are.” He shrugged his shoulders like that explained everything.
“Where is he?”
“Working.”
“Take me to him.”
“Can’t do that, Ember.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not supposed to take you there.”
If I was seething before, I was raging now. “Let me get this straight.” I stood up, my face flushed with anger. “He can claim me to the entire club, and then go to the clubhouse and fuck Barbie to his heart’s content? That is so fuck-”
“Who’s Barbie?” Chink asked, smirking at me, interrupting my tirade.
I shot him a glare as I was pacing back and forth. “The girl from the club, blonde hair, perfect face, perfect body… Come on, you have to know who the hell I’m talking about. She is absolutely perfect-looking.”
“You mean Becky.”
“Barbie, Becky, I don’t give a fuck what her name is.” This shouldn’t bother me. I should be happy that he’s there fucking her. Why the fuck wasn’t I happy he was with Barbie, Becky, Bitch? Who cares? They all start with B anyway.
“So, you’re still going to deny him and push him away when it means that much to you?”
I paused. “What are you talking about?”
“Come on Ember. Don’t try to pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. You’re standing here pacing and fuming over what you think is going on right now. Why don’t you let go and see what happens?”
I sat back down on the couch and ignored his question for a long time. He waited, watching me intently as I thought about what plan I had mapped out in my mind, what the outcome of it would be, and the fact that he was right. The very thought of Titan with those women was bothering me, but for his own good, I couldn’t.
Titan didn’t need to be hurt because of my past, and I was unsure if I could have a relationship with anyone without hurting them. I know I hurt Dotty for months on end before I trusted her, and she didn’t know what happened or who did it. She just knew the outcome. Phoenix was hurt because I couldn’t let her in on everything. I kept my secrets from her for years, not trusting her with the information about what was going on, and then I kept the possibility of her having a sibling from her. Titan would end up hurt somewhere along the way. I’ve been hurt, and I’m tired of hurting those around me, and, until they make their move, anybody is a potential target.
“He deserves better than what I can give him, Chink. I don’t get how you guys don’t understand that. I have so much fucked up shit in my head from the past. He doesn’t deserve that being brought into his life. Shit, Phoenix doesn’t deserve it either, but I’ve been able to hide it from her for years because we were in two separate places with two very separate lives. Now that everything is mixed up, everything is changing. I shouldn’t have come here. I should have stayed where I was.”
“You really think that Phoenix is going to all of a sudden have nothing to do with you because of a kid, that may or may not be her sister, that you conceived the way you conceived it? She wouldn’t do that, no more than you would if the roles were reversed. This is about you putting up blocks, not about her, and not about Titan. You’re running scared, we all know it. Titan especially. He isn’t at the club fucking, he is genuinely working. He hasn’t touched another woman since that night, and he blames himself for all of it, despite what we all tell him.”
“Great, so he pursues me out of a misguided sense of guilt. That makes me feel loads better.” I rolled my eyes and turned to go upstairs, but Chink’s next words stopped me.
“No, he pursued you before that all went down. He wants you, Ember. Like all of us, women typically come easy for him. It’s been even easier for Titan, even from before we joined the club and then he became Pres. Now, all he has to do is look in a woman’s direction and she starts thinking she’s going to be his Old Lady. The women at the club are bitching about how he doesn’t sleep with them anymore. You are the only woman he has ever had to actually go after. You are the only one that he has kept interest in for longer than it takes him to get off.”
“So, you’re telling me to take a chance at trusting a man that doesn’t keep interest in women longer than it takes for him to bust a nut. It’s all about the chase to him. He wants me because I’ve denied him. If I gave into him, the novelty and the mystery would be gone. What happens to me then? I don’t want to live like they do. I’ve had enough of being fucked over in my life to willingly subject myself to it.”
“You think that’s what we do?” Chink growled at the insult. “You think we fuck those women over and they don’t enjoy every damn second of it? You were raped, Ember, you do know there is a difference between having sex, making love, fucking, and rape, right? There is a difference in the way it feels and how the body responds and reacts.”
“In theory, yes, I’m aware.”
“In theory.” His look showed shock as what I told him sunk in. Chink started cussing and took my place pacing the floor, muttering to himself. “I’m going to kill the sons of bitches.”
“If they were that easy to get to, don’t you think I would have killed them already?”
Chink smirked at me. “Darlin’, you do realize that you are now part of, and surrounded by, a club that has most of its members made up of men who were in the service? We all met there, or met someone who is in the club now that was. We are trained to plan, fight, and kill.”
“I wish you would stop counting me as part of the club.”
“Just because I stop saying it, doesn’t make it any less true.” I glared at him and he just laughed. “It seems, Ember, we are going to be hanging out until the bastards are taken care of, so we are going to use that time wisely.”
I looked at him warily. “What do you have in mind?”
“I don’t have a death wish, darlin’. Titan would kill me if I ever laid a hand on you.”
I couldn’t help but feel comforted and irritated at his explanation. “Ok, so what did you mean then?”
“Come with me.” I followed him into the kitchen and watched as he opened a can of soup and dumped it in the sink. “I didn’t figure you would have soup in your kitchen that you didn’t cook yourself.”
“I wouldn’t, but Phoenix can’t cook worth a damn.”
“Gotcha. Ok, come on.” He led me out the back door after grabbing the toolbox off the shelf. He walked over to the fence and placed the can on one of the posts. “You are going to learn how to shoot.”
“Ok.”
Chink went over gun safety and explained how to load the gun. It felt heavy in my hand as I loaded each bullet into the clip. I pushed in the clip and waited for further instruction. He showed me how to hold the gun to help reduce the amount of kick that I’d feel.
“Switch the safety off, line up your sight, take a breath and squeeze the trigger.” My first shot was nowhere near where it needed to be. Chink instructed me on what he noticed went wrong then told me, “Try again.”
I shot a few more times, but kept missing. “Ugh, I suck at this.”
“It takes practice. Keep trying.”
I raised the gun and pointed toward the can, I lined up the sight, took a breath, and held it as I squeezed the trigger, I heard the ping of the can as the bullet hit it and knocked it off the post. “I did it!”
“Good job. What w
ere you thinking? You seemed to be concentrating hard as you shot.”
“I was trying to aim small, so I’d miss small, like in The Patriot.”
Chink smiled. “Well, it worked. Try it again.”
Ink said she needed time, so that was what I was going to give her, even if it killed me. Instead of going back to the house and holding her as she slept, I went to the club. There was no way I could do it again, not without being tortured by her body pressed against mine, seeking my heat.
The guys were watching a football game on the big screen, and the girls were all trying to distract them. Gavel was over at the bar with a half-empty bottle of liquor in front of him. He was pouring another glass of the amber liquid when I walked over to him.
“You gonna tell me about it?” I sat beside him and poured my own tumbler.
“About what?” He threw back his drink before reaching for the bottle again. I just stared at him. He knew damn well what I was talking about. He glanced my way before taking another sip. “Your mom was the love of my life. We fought, I fucked up, and she found someone better, my best friend, your dad.”
“You should talk to her.”
“Can’t. I’m headed to New York in the morning.”
“What for?”
“The Price Estate is finally being sold, and I need to go through Abby’s genetic donor’s shit to get rid of it. She said she didn’t think she could do it.”
“Bring his computer back to Hack. I want it searched for anything related to Richards, and if you find anything pertaining to him, bring it back too. Bastards like that are arrogant as fuck and believe they are above the law and they won’t get caught. He most likely will have some documentation of his shit, and possibly Richards’ as well.”
“Will do. It may take me a while to get this done. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”
“So, you really aren’t going to do anything about Mom, then?”
“I blew my chance with her long ago.”
“You did, but you’re both different people now.”
“Some things can’t be fixed.”
“Yeah, like thick headed old men that would rather be in the bottom of a glass rather than pull their own head out of their ass. At least I know that Grit came by this trait naturally.” The look Gavel sent me was much like the look my own dad had sent me many times when he was still here. “For the record,” I said as I stood up and drank the last of the potent drink, “I’ve always looked at you as a second father.” I ignored the emotions that flashed in his eyes and across his face. Gavel was choked up by my words, but they were true. He, like my father, had always been there for me. There wasn’t a time that I don’t remember Gavel and Stone both being there for us. When we got in trouble, they all reamed us new ones. I clapped him on the shoulder and went to watch the game with my brothers, leaving him to think about what I said.
Dozer handed me a beer when I settled on the opposite couch. “Chink is gonna kick your ass when he finds out you’re here while he’s stuck there protecting Ember.”
“McKenzie, her fucking name is McKenzie. and Chink knows he’s staying there tonight.”
Dallas was two touchdowns down to New York, and when they scored a third touchdown on us in the third quarter, we were losing hope for a comeback. I heard a giggle from the other couch, and looked to see Dozer pulling Becky’s top down. He was tonguing her nipple, and her giggle turned into a moan. My deprived cock was hard as granite as I watched the two play. They were both becoming the entertainment, and when he pushed his fingers up her skirt and into her pussy, my other brothers joined in the play with the other women.
I watched from my seat as clothes were shed and bodies were bared. Becky was facing me while riding Dozer’s cock. Roper had Erin going down on him as he watched Becky. Ink was preparing to take Star over the arm of the couch so he could pound into her from behind. I looked back at Dozer and Becky because I could see more of them. Her beautiful tits, that I had sucked on more times than I can remember, were bouncing as she rode him. Her eyes were on me, watching. I knew what she wanted, hell, my dick knew what she wanted. I stood up, my eyes not leaving hers. “Titan,” she moaned, her eyes were begging for me to join in the scene before me.
A few months ago, hell, a few weeks ago, I would have joined in and fucked her mouth, but now, I just wanted McKenzie. I turned and walked away, my balls aching with each step I took. In my room, I stripped and headed for the shower. The hot water eased the tension in my shoulders, but the tension in my cock remained. The scene I had just witnessed in the TV room flashed in my mind. Only it was McKenzie’s beautiful, lush tits bouncing, and my cock was pounding into her sweet, wet pussy. I stroked myself, imagining all the things I wanted to do to her, seeing them all in my head like my own personal porno. It wasn’t long before I was groaning and my cock was spurting my cum onto the shower wall.
I rested my head against the tile as I caught my breath and slowed my heartrate. McKenzie was going to kill me, death by blue balls. I hadn’t gone so long without being inside a woman since I was overseas. The shower ran cold before I got out, the tension I had been feeling before was almost gone. My phone rang as I was drying off. I looked at the ID and saw Chink’s name and, just like that, the tension was back and I was on full alert.
“Yeah.”
“Brother, she needs you.”
“What’s going on?” I looked at the clock, it was after ten, but I was already heading to my closet to get clothes, the phone wedged between my shoulder and my cheek.
“She’s screaming in her sleep. I’ve already woken her up once. She was up for a few hours, went back to bed, and I had to wake her up again when her screams started again.”
“Fuck, she wasn’t doing that before.”
“She is now, man.”
“I’m on my way.”
I pulled on my jeans and boots, grabbed my keys and headed for my truck. Walking back through the main room, I noticed Gavel was gone, but the party was still going.
I was at the door when my phone went off again. “Yeah?” it was Hack.
“How’s she doing?”
“Not good. Using your powers again, huh?”
“I just had a feeling something was going on. What’s up?”
“She’s having nightmares. I was going to stay at the club tonight while Chink stayed at the house, but he called. She’s woken up a couple times screaming.”
“Ok, give her time.”
“Yeah, that’s what everybody keeps saying, but it’s fucking easier said than done.”
“He told you?”
“Yeah, you should have.”
“Wasn’t my place. I just wanted to call and check. I’m still monitoring their movements, but all seems quiet.”
“Did Gavel tell you he’s going to New York tomorrow?” I asked while getting in the truck.
“No.” I heard Hack typing away on the keyboard. “Does he need someone to go with him?”
“He’s going to go through Price’s shit which may take a while, and I want you to go through his computer. You’re going with him will make it go faster, so I’ll call Gavel, let him know you’re going. You tell Stone?”
“Yeah, I’ll tell him. I’ll hop on a red eye and meet Gavel at the airport in Amarillo. We’ll head to New York from there.”
“Fine. Later, Hack.” I hung up just as I was pulling into the driveway at McKenzie’s house. Chink met me on the front porch. “She up?”
“Yeah, in the kitchen. She’s shutting down, man. I can’t get her to talk or even look at me.”
“No, brother, she's not going to shut down. I won't let her.” He moved toward the door, but stopped and called back to me, “Titan. The only sexual experience she has ever had has been forced on her.” I watched as his hands clenched into fists, his anger evident. “You might need to let her lead for a while.”
He walked out the door, and I moved to the kitchen. McKenzie was staring blankly out t
he back door. She didn’t respond to my entering the room, she didn’t flinch when I touched her or wrapped my arms around her. My voice and words didn’t penetrate the thoughts she was lost in, but when I kissed the top of her head, she broke. Tears flooded her eyes and ran down her cheeks, sobs ripped through her chest, but I just held her closer, tighter, as she processed it all.
“Why, why do you want to break me?”
“I can’t break what’s already broken, McKenzie.”
She didn’t respond, she just let me hold her in my arms. It was the first time when we were awake that she really allowed me to do this much, so I took that as a sign of progress. The fact that she was crying was the first time I’d seen her acknowledge what she was going through inside. I don’t know how long we stood there, but she was spent. Her sobs had faded to hiccups, and she was lax in my arms.
“You ready for bed?” I whispered in her ear.
“I don’t want to go to sleep again.”
“Ok. What do you want?”
“Revenge.”
“Then what? What happens after you get your revenge?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I can finally live,” she whispered.
“Price is dead, McKenzie, he can’t hurt you anymore.”
“I know, but my stepbrother and stepfather are still out there.”
They wouldn’t be for long. I was searching for a way to totally destroy them before we killed them, but she had no clue as to what my plans were for Richards and his son. "True. Why haven't you sought revenge before?"
"Because I didn't know how to take it without getting caught or dying in the process."
"And you do now?"
"No.”
I didn’t care anymore. Years of hell coupled with years of the memories of that hell, I just wanted it to be over. If the bastard killed me, so be it, at least then I wouldn’t have all these damn nightmares and could finally rest in peace. Titan spun me around, his big hands gripping my upper arms tightly. His eyes bored into mine, and I saw recognition flash through them. He knew. He knew I didn’t care anymore if I lived or died.
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