by Simply BWWM
“I deserve that. I have been very cruel to you. If you will just give me a chance to explain.” She motioned for me to follow her out into the living room.
We sat down on the couch and I waited tentatively. She gave a big sigh. “I’ve never told this to anyone. Not even Hank.”
“Then why tell me?”
“Because you need to know why I treated you the way I did.” She took another deep sigh, working up her courage, I guess.
“I was sixteen years old when I met him. We went to high school together. I guess you could say we were high school sweethearts. I went to Kensington Prep. I hadn’t known it at the time, but he was there on scholarships. I hadn’t cared when he told me. I had more than enough money. He was a brilliant boy. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had changed the world. When my parents found out who he was, they forbade me to see him anymore. Of course, I didn’t listen.”
She turned to me, looking into my eyes. “I ignored them, and we decided that when I turned eighteen we would get married. He would say ‘love was all we needed.’” She said this last part with a tear filled eye-roll.
“I found out I was pregnant a month before graduation. When I told him…” She paused holding back the emotion, “When I told him, he got scared. I thought it would pass, but he never spoke to me again from that day I told him. I couldn’t tell my parents. Not only had they been right about him, now I was pregnant.
It’s not something you can hide, though. My mother soon found out. She made me promise not to tell my father. She took me to a clinic that day and made me get an abortion.” She choked back sobs.
I couldn’t help myself. I scooted in closer and put my arm around her. I never thought I would find myself in a position to feel anything but spite for this woman. I was truly sorry for her, though.
“I was about as far along as you were, give or take a few weeks. They induced labor. They put me to sleep for the whole thing. When I woke, it was done. I was supposed to pretend like it never happened. I never got to see my baby. They never told me if it was a boy or a girl.” She released all of her sorrow now. I couldn’t help it, I was crying with her. We both had children we longed to hold but never would.
We sat there for a few minutes just holding each other and crying. Finally, she straightened up and, in a very unladylike manner, wiped her nose with her blouse sleeve. I giggled and grabbed a tissue off the coffee table next to me. She giggled too as we both fixed ourselves.
“I guess that’s why I’ve been having such a hard time with you and Edward. It was such a similar situation, only you were getting the outcome I wish I’d had. I had spent all of my adult life convincing myself that love was overrated. All because of one guy. I was never willing to let either of my children make the same mistake I did, to feel that same hurt.
But Edward is not that boy. He is a good man. And you, you will be a good wife for him. He loves you very much. I’ve never seen so much affection in his eyes like when he looks at you.”
I had to look away from her. She didn’t know what had just happened at his office between us. She had no idea the turmoil inside me. Her words were heaven sent. It was like hearing someone else tell me that Edward loved me, was what I needed to hear. A huge weight felt like it lifted off of me.
“I was just jealous of your happiness. I came to say I’m sorry. I hope we can start over.”
I thought about it for a minute. I don’t think you could erase all the hateful words that had been spoken between us. Forgiveness wasn’t forgetting what had happened, it was being willing to move past it. I was willing to do that.
I took her hand in mine and gave her a smile. “I would like that very much.”
Edward’s shock marred his face when he walked into his house to find his mother and future wife sitting on the couch embracing each other. We both pulled back, wiping away stray tears, at his presence.
“Everything okay in here?” He asked, first looking to me, then to his mother.
“Everything is fine, dear. Just a little girl talk,” she replied.
He looked my way for confirmation. I gave him an encouraging nod.
“Well, I think I will be going now. I told your father I would meet him at the club tonight after his golf game with the partners.” She gave Edward a kiss on the cheek and me a wave goodbye.
It was such a relief to have our issues behind us. It was like all those obstacles that I had seen between Edward and me were melting away. My mother, his family. There was just one obstacle left in our path. I had to decide if I was going to be willing to believe him despite what I walked in on. If I was willing to trust him, and trust the love he had for me.
He sat down on the couch next to me, taking his mother’s place. He released a long, nervous sigh. “I was worried you wouldn’t be here when I got back.”
“Well, I’m here.”
“I know, and I’m glad. It will give me a chance to explain. I know what it looked like. I had just told her about the baby. She was just giving me condolences. It wasn’t the most appropriate way, but her heart was in the right place. Nothing happened between us. Nothing ever will. I was the one that broke up with her. I don’t think she was happy about it. But I wouldn’t never defy your trust like that.”
I took his hand in mine. Much the way I had just been sitting with his mother. “I’m sorry.”
“I unders—what?” He was confused. He must have been practicing a whole speech.
“I overreacted. I should trust you more. If you say nothing happened, then I believe you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” I placed my hand on his cheek, rubbing my thumb along his full bottom lip.
He pulled me in for a soft kiss. “I love you so much, Vay. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you too.”
In that moment, I realized that he had been hurting just as much as I had. He lost just as much as I had. I took him into the baby room. To show him the urn and the picture. To give him a chance to mourn his loss too. Together we would get through this.
*
The wedding had been beautiful. More importantly, it happened without any horrific events. Julia made a stunning bridesmaid. I told her that I would dress her up all ugly just so she didn’t steal the limelight from me. She, of course, laughed it off and just hoped that Edward had lots of cute friends for her to hook up with afterwards. I made sure to sit her next to a whole table of single guys at the reception.
Both my mother and Edward’s parents were present. I would say they had been on their best behavior, but I think they were actually all happy for us. Including Vivian. That is not something I thought I would ever see. I even caught my mother and Vivian talking and laughing together. It was so heartwarming to see our families coming together in a way I never thought they would.
We were on the flight back from our honeymoon. I had always pictured a honeymoon as a week’s vacation somewhere simple. We had just spend the last month in the Caribbean. We were island-hopping on a private yacht owned by one of the partners. It had been gifted to us as a wedding present. It was going to take time for me to get use to this kind of life.
We were sitting in first class, sipping champagne. It all had been such a wonderful dream, I was a little disappointed to get back to reality.
“You okay, babe?”
I looked over at my stunning husband. His hair had grown a little too long on our vacation, flopping around in waves. His skin had been kissed by the sun and was a wonderful bronze. I looked down at our hands intertwined between us. His light skin to my milk chocolate. I never thought I would think of babies again, but in that moment I couldn’t help but think how beautiful all of our children would be.
“I’m good,” I finally replied. “Just a little tired, I guess.”
“I think we’re about half way through the flight. You could take a nap if you want. Or we could watch a movie,” he pointed to the private screen in front of us, “or we could think of something else to do.”
I
giggled, “I’m not joining the mile high club, if that’s what you mean.”
He nuzzled my neck and nibbled my ear. I could feel his hot breath on me as he whispered, “are you sure? It could be fun.”
I was instantly hot all over. It always amazed me that no matter how much time we spent together, how much lovemaking was shared between us, he always got me wet just by a single touch. I wondered if it would always be this way or was this just the honeymoon stage everyone always talked about. I had a feeling it would always be like this.
He was slipping his hand slowly up my skirt, while still nibbling on my ear. I was on the outside of the row and turned my body to face him. I was hoping it would shield the other passengers from the show.
“We can’t do it here,” I whispered back.
“Why not? No one is watching.”
My turn to prevent onlookers only gave him better access to his goal. With a sigh of satisfaction he slipped his fingers into his goal.
“Oh, Mrs. Kinkade you seem to have forgotten your panties.”
I blushed. I had purposefully left them off as a little surprise to him. I just never thought he would notice in the middle of first class. I was completely facing him now. Trying my best not to show my pleasure too much. His teasing was making it difficult.
He was leaning his forehead against mine. I could feel his hot breath on me as his finger did its devilish dance inside of me. I could tell he was getting excited too. I was trying my best to keep my excitement to myself. I gave out a small moan when he slid a second finger inside me. He stifled it with a kiss.
“How’s about we meet up in the bathroom to finish you off?”
I was about to say yes, despite my earlier determination not to have sex on a plane, when a flight attendant walked up to us. Edward silently slipped his fingers out of me. He was so skilled, it looked as though we were just sharing a cute embrace not an almost-orgasm. I wasn’t as good at hiding my embarrassment. I was frantically fixing my skirt, making sure nothing was exposed.
Whether the attendant noticed or not, she didn’t say anything. She offered to top off our champagne then served us our lunch. It was a million times different then the little plastic trays I normally l got in coach. It was even served on china plates with real silverware. No plastic wrap covering it either. I wondered if there was a private chef on board for the first class passengers and they had just been keeping it a secret from the little people in coach.
I had ordered a simple spring salad and French dip sandwich. It was steaming hot and smelled delicious. Before I could dive into it though, I was hit by this awful sickening smell. I looked over at Edward.
“What are you eating? It smells awful!”
“It’s just some salmon. It’s really good, actually. Want a bite?”
Edward held up his fork to me. That’s all it took. I went running to the bathroom. I learned another bonus of flying first class, no bathroom line. It was a good thing too, because I barely made it before spilling the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
Not exactly the highlight of my life. I ironically thought of what we had just been planning to do in here. I would have much rather had the sex over puking in a public toilet. I took a minute to regain myself, then washed my mouth out in the sink. When I opened the door, I found the attendant standing there with a travel size toothbrush in hand and an apologetic look on her face. Apparently she had heard me.
I thanked her and went back in and brushed my teeth. I was feeling a little better. I pulled out some paper towels and, getting them wet, laid them across the back of my neck. I was trying my best to not think of what this could mean. There had only been one other time in my life when the smell of fish sent me running for a bathroom.
Could I possibly be pregnant again? In all honesty, we really hadn’t done much to prevent it over the last month. After seeing the genetic therapist and being told that neither one of us had any genetic defects, we had stopped using protection. It was never really discussed between us, it had just happened. The doctor had said it would take me several months, if not a whole year, for my body to recover from the loss. I guess I never thought it would happen this soon.
I was trying my best to count the days since my last period. I gave up. I had been so lost in our vacation, I honestly didn’t even know what the date was. I was pretty sure that I hadn’t had a period the whole honeymoon and that was proof enough for me. I wondered for a minute how Edward would feel. Was it too soon for him?
My thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. I cracked it open and let Edward in. He wrapped his arms around me in the tight space, concern etched on his face.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, just got a little sick, that’s all.”
“Motion sick?” I could tell he was trying to gauge why I had gotten sick. I couldn’t tell if it was for fear or excitement.
“Yeah, I guess. I don’t know.”
“You never got sick on the boat though.”
“Yeah. I think it was your fish.”
“Hm…” He looked away. I think we both were a little afraid to say it.
“I was counting the days, and I don’t know for sure or anything, but I think…”
He looked up at me excited. “Seriously?”
“I don’t know for sure, or anything,” I repeated.
He pulled me in for a passionate kiss. I thanked my lucky stars for that flight attendant and toothbrush. I wrapped my hands in his hair taking the kiss deeper. He pulled away just for a second. I could feel his breath on my lips.
“I take it you’re happy about it then?”
He gave me a devilish grin and reaching over locked the door completely. He grabbed me by my butt and lifted me up onto the sink straddling him between my legs. He watched my eyes and his hands slowly pushed my skirt up to my hips. I wrapped my legs around him pushing him harder against me. I could feel the hardness of him through his slacks.
He gave me a chaste kiss while pushing his hips deeper into me. I could feel his thickness bursting to get out. “More than happy,” he said, “I’m damn right excited about it.” He pushed his hips against me again motioning to the particular excitement he was referring too.
“How do you feel about the mile high club now?”
“The idea is starting to grow on me.”
“Oh, I’ve got something growing for you.”
“Perv!”
He silenced any further complaint with his mouth over mine. I welcomed it.
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