Julia made an instant decision. She wasn’t going to overthink this. She wanted him and he wanted her. There were both unattached and despite all her fears about relationships, the past and starting with him all over again, she was going to reach, for once in her life for something she wanted without worrying over every detail about the future. She was going to be reckless … for just this once.
Julia pushed at Ethan’s t-shirt and he stopped kissing her long enough to pull it off and throw it on the floor. She straddled him, her eyes taking in every inch of him. He was magnificent. He folded his arms behind his head and smiled sensuously at her. He was sexy as sin with his morning stubble and his sleep-tousled hair. There wasn’t an ounce of fat anywhere on him and his muscular chest had a delicious smattering of dark hair. She ran her fingers over his cheeks and travelled over his shoulders, biceps and chest, learning him once again. But when she reached his abdomen she looked up, seeking permission. He stayed still, giving her time to explore, and when she looked at his face, she found a naughty smile on his lips.
“Having fun? Is it my turn yet?”
Julia saw the desire in his hooded eyes and felt his growing erection jump and jab her. She couldn’t wait for him to touch her. She was wet just exploring him. She smiled and nodded. She took off her shirt, never taking her eyes off him. Ethan’s smile grew into a full grin. He ran a finger over the upper edge of her cream lacey bra and rubbed his thumbs over each hardened nipple. She couldn’t hold back the small moan his touch elicited. Hearing it, he reached for her and kissed her slowly and sensually.
Within seconds he had her bra off and he rolled them again so she was underneath him. He continued his lazy exploration of her mouth, tasting every inch of it. His hands cupped her breasts. He kneaded them and pinched her nipples between his thumb and index finger. She arched her back and whimpered into his mouth wanting more. She clutched him to her, one hand fisting his hair, the other digging into his shoulder.
She was sure he could feel how wet she was through her thin yoga pants, but she didn’t care. She wanted him to know she wanted him. It had been so long since any man had touched her this way. She was hungry, no, starved for him. When he kissed his way down her neck and then took one nipple into his mouth while his hand continued to caress the other, she saw stars. Lord, the man had a gifted tongue. Julia tugged at his hair and whimpered. She needed more and she needed it now.
“Eth, please. I need…”
“Shh, baby. I know.”
He took her mouth again as his hand found its way into her yoga pants and past her thin thongs. The second he touched her, she arched into his hand and moaned. She was going to lose her mind. She wanted him deep inside her, but this was the next best thing. He’d learned a few things in twenty-two years and as he ran his fingers through her folds and then lightly brushed her clit, she couldn’t hold still. He was teasing her and she wasn’t sure she could take it. She writhed underneath him, trying to get closer, trying to get his hands where she needed them.
“Eth… I… Please,” she begged shamelessly.
With one hand at her hip he stilled her movements. He held her firmly in place while he plunged two fingers into her wet heat as his thumb pressed over her clit. That was it, she saw heaven! Julia cried out her release as he took her mouth with his and swallowed down her cries. Her body trembled as she clamped down on his fingers. She clung to him, holding him to her as she came and came and then came down slowly. She opened her eyes and looked at him with a dazed expression. He held her eyes as he removed his fingers from her and put them into his mouth, licking them clean. It was the most erotic thing she’d ever experienced.
“Delicious!”
Julia dropped her face into the side of his neck. Holy shit. Did he just do that? Did she just do that? She hadn’t let herself go like this with anyone for a long time. When she and Matt first got together, their lovemaking was good, but never as good or as satisfying as it had been with Ethan. She held back with Matt, especially at the end when his lovemaking was perfunctory. Part of herself she kept untouched by anyone but Ethan, only for Ethan, always for Ethan. Matt never knew about Ethan, but he wasn’t a stupid man. The more she held back, the more frustrated he got by her lack of response. Eventually, he stopped caring about pleasing her and focused only on his needs.
“Hey, beautiful, look at me.”
She lifted her head and their eyes met.
“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. I love watching you come apart in my hands. You’re beautiful, baby, and there is nothing for you to be embarrassed about. Okay?”
She reached for him and kissed him, her tongue exploring his lips and every inch of his mouth.
He broke the kiss and framed her face between his hands.
“Please tell me you’re on the Pill,” he begged in a husky voice.
She nodded. They should have had this talk before they were this far, but here they were and they had to act like grown-ups.
“Yes and it’s okay, I’m clean. I haven’t been with anyone since Matt left two years ago. But…?”
“I’m clean too, sweetheart. I swear. I swear you’re safe with me. In every way possible.”
Without hesitation she nodded. “I trust you, Eth. I’ve missed you so damn much. I’m not going to lie. I’m scared to death because if this doesn’t work out between us, it won’t be only me who gets hurt, it’ll also be Lilly.”
He tightened his arms around her and kissed her eyes, nose, and finally her mouth.
“I can’t read into the future, but what I can promise you is I will do everything in my power not to screw this up for all of us. But you have to work with me. I know you’re scared, but I’ve got you and I’ve got Lilly.”
Julia studied Ethan’s eyes and the promise she saw burning there left her no doubt Ethan was all in and would do everything in his power to hold them together. Could this really be happening? After all these years, did they really have a future together as a family. The thought excited and terrified her.
The past.
No. No. She couldn’t, no wouldn’t spoil this moment. The one she waited a lifetime for. Ethan had come back to her. This wasn’t a dream. Her Ethan had come back to her and wanted to try at a future together. Her dreams had come true and she was going to reach for happy, even if she didn’t deserve it.
“Okay, sweetheart,” she whispered.
Ethan stilled at her words and stared at her in surprise.
“Eth, sweetheart? What’s wrong?”
She wasn’t sure what she said or did to cause him to go so utterly still.
She brushed his cheek with her fingers. “What is it? What did I say?”
He cleared his throat and said, “You said ‘sweetheart’. No one has ever called me anything other than my name. It took me by surprise and I—”
“Ethan, if you don’t like it, I won’t, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think; it just came out.”
“No, no, I love it. Don’t stop.” He crushed her to him, and then pulled away so he could kiss every inch of her face. He took her mouth in a scorching kiss that would have led to other things if it weren’t for Lilly’s voice coming over the baby monitor.
“Mama, Mama! Up.”
Ethan and Julia pulled apart and he smiled at her. He shook his head and chuckled. “Sounds like our girl is up. She’s got interesting timing. I’m going to have to have a talk with my little angel.”
“God, I’m sorry, Eth. If I don’t get her, she’s going to scream the place down. She wakes up raring to go and with a hell of a lot of energy.”
He kissed her soundly on the lips, rolled off her and reached for his shirt.
“Baby, there is no need to apologize. Don’t worry. I don’t give up easy. Lilly is going to keep me on my toes. We’ll have our time and when we do I don’t want us to be rushed or distracted. Why don’t you girls get ready for the day while I go home and shower?”
At the mention of him leaving, her face fell.
�
��Hey, beautiful. I need a shower and clean clothes, but I’m coming back to my girls after and we can spend the day together. Okay?”
Julia felt foolish. She was acting like a lovesick horny teenager. “It’s okay, really. You probably have a million things to do before you start work tomorrow. We’ll be fine. I’ve got to go grocery shopping anyway.”
“Perfect. Why don’t we meet at the diner for breakfast and then we can go shopping? I need groceries as well. You ladies can explain to me how to get the damn cart free from the chains holding it hostage. I tried to go shopping at the monster-mart last week, but I gave up when I couldn’t even get a cart.” He grinned.
“Monster-mart?”
“The grocery store on 202. It’s a massive, intimidating monster.”
She smiled at him and shook her head. She wondered how a grown man, a physician of all things, could be intimidated by a simple grocery store.
“Are you sure you want to shop with Lilly and me? She loves the grocery store. It’s more fun than any playground I can take her to.”
“Yeah, I’m sure. I hate grocery stores; maybe she can teach me a thing or two.”
An hour later, Lilly and Julia met Ethan in front of Frank’s ready to start the day. Despite all that had happened the night before, both of them had recovered and she looked forward to spending the day with Ethan. Waking up in Ethan’s arms erased much of the ugliness of previous night. They still had a lot to deal with and a lot to talk about, but for once, she was optimistic about the future.
As Julia and Lilly waited for Ethan to park the monstrosity he drove, Julia couldn’t help but think of his parents. If their relationship progressed, Ethan would have tell his parents about her and that thought made her physically ill. She avoided all conversations having to do with his parents. But she couldn’t do that for long and she didn’t want to. She wanted to feel brave enough to tell him everything so they could go into the future with nothing between. She wasn’t there yet. Sooner or later it would come to a head, though, and there would be no delaying the inevitable. For now, she wanted to enjoy one day, just one day together without drama.
Ethan got out of his truck and came toward her Honda CR-V. He strode toward her looking all kinds of sexy. The man made an art out of wearing jeans and t-shirts. He opened her door, pulled her out, and gave her a deep, passionate kiss that left her wet, breathless and clinging to him in the middle of the road. Her hormones spiked and if they weren’t in the middle of the street and didn’t have Lilly, she would have held him hostage as her love slave in bed. When she opened her eyes, he was grinning. The rat knew exactly what he was doing.
She shook her head and leaned against her car catching her breath as Ethan tackled the web of harnesses holding Lilly secure in her car seat.
“How the hell did you get her into this medieval torture device?”
“Torture device? It’s just a few buckles and straps.” Julia laughed. “I’m sure you can figure it out.”
Julia stood back and watched him flounder. It was entertaining watching him pull at the harnesses and get absolutely nowhere. Meanwhile, Lilly looked like she was about to hit him over the head with her giraffe. After a few minutes, Julia took pity on him.
“Push the big red button, Eth. She’ll do the rest. If you can’t get her out, how on earth are you going to get her in? That takes real skill.”
Muttering under his breath—that Lilly was more secure in the seat than a racecar driver—he followed Julia’s directions and depressed the red button. In an instant, Lilly pushed the straps aside over her shoulders and reached for him.
“Out, pu-weese.”
Ethan shook his head and lifted Lilly and George into his arms and out of the SUV.
Julia enjoyed dressing her daughter up. She didn’t spend anything on herself, but Lilly always got the best and looked like a little doll everywhere they went. Today the child was dressed in a sporty pink and white striped rugby Ralph Lauren dress with a Peter Pan collar and matching bloomers with white ruffles. She had a sparkly pink and silver hairband holding back her curls and equally sparkly sunglasses perched on her little nose. She was edible.
Lilly made a complete recovery overnight and was happily into everything possible at breakfast. Ethan used his charm on the same waitress that served them the last time they ate at Frank’s. He secured Lilly a coloring book and crayons. More importantly, their meals came out in record time. As they chatted and ate, Lilly decided to test her boundaries. Halfway through breakfast, after she’d been told by Julia several times she couldn’t play with the glasses of water on the table, she reached across the table for Ethan’s. Quickly, he pulled it out of her hands before it could spill.
“Lilly!” Julia admonished her, but Ethan shook his head. Julia let him take over, interested to see how he would handle the situation.
“Lilly, the water on the table is for drinking and not for playing with. Your mama told you no earlier. The answer is still no.”
Lilly gave him her best innocent, big-eyed, pouty-lipped look and said, “Pu-weese, E.”
“No angel. These are not toys. You can color instead.”
“No.”
“Okay. No it is, but if you want to go shopping with us and not home, you will listen. Got it?”
After a second of looking between Ethan and Julia, Lilly smiled an angelic little smile and said, “Kay.” Then she went back to coloring like nothing happened.
“Okay, baby whisperer, that was impressive. Where did you learn that trick?”
“Super Nanny of course. It’s where I get all my good material.”
Chapter Eleven
An hour later Julia and Ethan arrived at Food-Feast in separate cars so they could each go home afterward, unload their groceries, and prepare for the week. Unlike Ethan, Lilly knew how to free shopping carts from the chains. The ransom was a mere quarter pushed into a slot on the cart’s handle and bingo, the chains dropped. Ethan had lived in two other states and travelled to many more and yet he never saw anything like it. He had no idea what the purpose was because when shoppers were done utilizing the cart, they got their quarter back when the chain was placed back into the slot on the cart. It was a mystery to him why the market tortured its patrons in this manner.
At Frank’s, Julia asked him what he needed from the store. He stared blankly at her and mumbled, “Ah, everything.”
“What do you mean everything?”
“I mean I have coffee and beer at the house and, of course, running water. That’s it.”
“Ethan, you’ve been at that house for at least two weeks and you only have coffee and beer? What have you been eating?”
“I go out to eat or grab food and bring it home. I hate shopping and frankly grocery stores of this magnitude freak me out.”
“Sweetheart, what do you mean they freak you out?” she asked, trying not to laugh, but failing.
He didn’t care. She called him sweetheart again, the word flowing effortlessly off her lips. He smiled at the sound of her happy laughter; that too was music to his ears.
“Baby, it’s not nice to laugh at someone with my type of disability. We can’t all be perfect like you.”
“Okay, tell me about this disability you have and I’ll see what I can do to help you.”
“It’s simple. I get lost and confused in stores that big. I’m used to shopping at small neighborhood grocery stores, not stores the size of an entire mall. Who needs so many choices?”
After she listened to him complain while barely keeping a straight face, she promised to help him if he kept track of Lilly who loved to shop and refused to sit in the cart. That was easy. Ethan picked Lilly up and placed her on his shoulders. He and Lilly followed Julia around and placed whatever they liked in the cart, half of which Julia took out when she thought he wasn’t looking. He told her to put whatever she thought he needed in the cart because he needed everything. Other than some sports drinks and coffee, Ethan let her choose everything because frankly he didn’t care
what they bought. He was in it for the pure joy of being with them, not the food.
After a while, when it was obvious by Julia’s harried expression and her clipped answers he and Lilly were getting on her last nerve, Ethan took Lilly to explore the store. Every few minutes they returned with a new, very cool item and begged Julia to buy it.
Guava juice.
Ugly fruit.
Canned sardines. Lilly thought the can was pretty and shiny.
Julia considered each item, frowned, rolled her eyes and firmly shook her head refusing to buy it. When they both begged, “Pu-weese,” in unison, she relented and scowled at Ethan. Each time, she told Lilly Ethan was misbehaving and he wouldn’t be allowed to come shopping with them again. All in all, it was a fun outing for everyone.
It wasn’t until they were at the checkout counter their sunny day turned stormy. Ethan was helping Julia place all of their groceries on the belt, when they Lilly screamed.
“Mama, Mama. No.”
Ethan turned and saw Lilly on the floor behind them, scooting away from a well-dressed, blonde woman who was attempting to grab her arm. He dropped the item in his hand and went to Lilly. He scooped her up before the woman had a chance to touch her. Ethan had no idea who she was or what she intended to do with Lilly, but he wasn’t about to let her get away so she could terrorize another child. He held Lilly to him with one arm and grabbed the woman’s arm with his other hand.
“Get your hands off me. I wasn’t going to hurt Lilly. I was trying to help her up off the floor.”
Before he could say anything or process the woman called Lilly by her name, he felt Julia next to him.
“It’s okay, Eth. Let her go. This is Carla, Matt’s wife.”
Ethan released Carla and tried to comfort Lilly who held on to him like her life depended on it. She trembled in his arms. In his mind there was only one reason a child reacted this way to an adult she knew and the thought of it sickened and enraged him.
R.I.L.Y Forever Page 13