by Avery Flynn
As much as he hated to admit it, his hot-tempered, knee-jerk responses were only fanning the flames.
“Mommy, can I have this dress?”
“No, honey,” Jules said, pulling out her credit card and handing it to the saleswoman. “We only came to buy shoes for school.”
Madison pouted. “But I want a new dress for school, too.”
“You do have a new dress. You actually have five, remember?”
“But I don’t like them. They all look the same.”
“That’s why they’re called uniforms. Everyone in your school has them.”
“But I want that one,” Madison whined, pointing to the child mannequin with the bright pink dress and full tulle skirt.
Jules stifled an exasperated sigh. Normally, she could muster the patience for her daughter’s moaning, but today she was still battling a dull headache. It had come after her fight with Mason last night and stayed with her since.
He had gone back to sleeping in the guest room, and maybe it was for the best. All last night and into this morning, she’d had a chance to reflect on their argument, and realized just how deep their problems really went. It wasn’t just that he didn’t believe her, but that sometime during these past few years they had stopped being a team.
They needed to find their way back to the times when she had his trust and his support—two very important aspects she wouldn’t find in bed with him. She now understood that just because the sex between them was still mind-blowing, didn’t change the fact that they still had plenty to work through.
Right now, however, she had to deal with her daughter’s oncoming tantrum.
Madison slumped against the sales counter and began to whimper. “Please, Mommy.”
“I said no, Madison.”
Madison ignored her sharp command and began to stamp her feet repeatedly. Jules gritted her teeth and caught the saleswoman’s sympathetic glance.
When the screeching started, Jules lost it.
Coming down on her haunches, Jules grabbed Madison’s arms and held her tight. “Now that’s enough, young lady.”
Madison instantly stopped her crying, and her large brown eyes were wide.
“You will not embarrass me in here, Madison. Do you understand me?”
Her daughter nodded slowly, her teary gaze never wavering from hers. Jules rarely snapped at her kids, choosing patience, reasoning, or plain old compromise to get them to behave. But her daughter’s humiliating antics in the middle of a semi-crowded retail store was just one public disgrace too many.
“I expect you to behave yourself, or I will return those shoes this instant and we will leave here with nothing. Understood?”
Madison nodded again, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. Jules released her and rose to her feet. She grabbed the shopping bag then her daughter’s hand and left the store.
The drive back home was short and relatively quiet, with Madison sulking in the back seat, her rag doll clutched close. Jules pulled into their driveway and was soon followed in by Carrie. She parked directly behind her as Jules got out of her car and went to unbuckle Madison from her seat. Just as she got her daughter free, Jeremy hopped out of Carrie’s car and tried to rush past her.
“Hold on there, mister,” Jules said as she helped Madison out of the car seat. “How was school today?”
“Good.”
“That’s all? Just good?”
Jeremy nodded and started toward the house.
“Wait. Don’t I get a hug today?”
He came back and wrapped his thin arms around her. He allowed her a few seconds to return the hug before he squirmed away.
“I want a hug too, Mommy,” Madison said, holding up her arms.
“You got it.” Jules gathered her in her arms and gave her a quick kiss on the head before setting her down on her feet. “How was he today, Carrie?”
“Better. He was using more words today.”
“Carrie, I’m gonna start school too!”
The nanny beamed down at Madison. “I know! Are you excited?”
Madison nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! Wanna see my new shoes?”
“Not right now, sweetie,” Jules said. “Why don’t you take your shoes inside?”
“Okay, Mommy.” Madison grabbed the shopping bag and dashed toward the house. In her excitement, she dropped her rag doll.
“Madison, don’t forget Paige!”
She doubled back and swooped up the doll. “Mommy, my name’s Queenie now. Remember? And Paige is now Princess.”
Jules arched a brow then glanced over at Carrie, who shrugged.
“I don’t know where she’s getting this,” Carrie muttered.
Jules shook her head in exasperation and tried not to laugh. Staring down at her daughter, she said seriously, “Well, queens don’t run. They walk.”
Madison started back to the house, her steps slowed to almost a tiptoe, and Jules bit back a smile. Despite the headaches from the occasional tantrum and defiance, their children were her greatest joy.
She hadn’t seriously considered what a divorce would do to them, and it was time that she did. If nothing else, their marriage was worth saving for them.
11
“Do you want to give her a few more minutes, Mason?”
Mason glanced down at his watch again and nodded curtly. For the first time since they had started these sessions, Jules had decided not to ride with him. Not that he had expected her to. The past few days had been tense between them, and he didn’t know how to change it. It was clear in the way she avoided looking at him that she was still upset over their argument the other night. He thought giving her space and sleeping in the guest room would help get them back on track, but it hadn’t.
Now, fifteen minutes into their session and she still wasn’t here.
He thought about calling her when a knock came at the door. Relief washed over him, but it was instantly dashed away when Debbie walked in.
“I’m sorry for interrupting, but Mrs. Courage won’t be able to make it in today.”
“Did she say why?” Dr. Kahn asked.
“Only that her meeting with her attorney was running long.”
Mason tensed at the news. What did Jules possibly need to see her attorney about?
“Okay, thank you, Debbie.”
Debbie nodded then handed him an envelope. “Here’s a copy of the letter you requested. The original has already been mailed to your home.”
Mason took the letter from her and she quietly retreated from the office. He felt the direct heat of Dr. Kahn’s curious gaze but couldn’t think pass the twisting in his chest. Or the many questions spinning in my mind.
Is she moving forward with the divorce?
Ignoring the lodestones settling in his gut, Mason forced himself to his feet.
“I’ll reschedule with Debbie,” he muttered hollowly, aware that this could very well be their last session.
“Mason, wait. Can I ask you a question?”
He paused by the door and nodded.
“How are things going between you and Jules? Are they getting better or worse?”
Mason scoffed. “It seems whenever we’re making progress, something comes along to screw it up.”
“Are you referring to the things that are being said in the news?”
“That’s one problem,” he muttered tightly.
“What’s the other?”
My ability to say the wrong damn things.
“I may have overreacted when we saw the news the other night.”
“What happened?”
“I got upset. We argued and haven’t spoken to each other much since that night.”
“Is that the reason Jules didn’t come to the session today?”
Mason shrugged. “Maybe. Things between us have been tense lately.”
“Have you tried talking to her again? When you’ve both had a chance to cool off?”
He shook his head.
“You know, silence can
only do more harm in a relationship, especially during such a volatile time like this.”
“How do you suggest I begin the conversation?”
Dr. Kahn smiled. “It doesn’t have to be scripted. Just begin by talking about how this situation makes you feel, and then allow her the opportunity to express how she feels.”
But that was their problem. He had told Jules how he felt, and in turn, she had accused him of making it all about him, of not coming to her defense. That couldn’t be further from the truth. He would do everything in his power to shield her and their children from pain and hurt.
Maybe his anger had been misplaced that night, but his loyalty was always to her. How could she not see that?
“I have a question for you, doc.”
“Yes?”
Mason pushed away from the door and took a few steps closer to where Dr. Kahn sat. “If you were in my situation, what would you do?”
“As your counselor, I don’t think it’s best to give my opinion on such a sensitive topic. Especially one that’s based on hypotheticals.”
“I’m not asking you as my counselor, but as a woman who happens to be married,” Mason said, staring pointedly at the wedding band around her finger. “If your spouse admitted to thinking about having an affair, then you later found evidence that suggested they may have had one, what would you do?”
She tilted her head slightly. “Honestly, I would make sure I had more solid proof besides strategically angled photos or suggestive commentary from outsiders before I made any assumptions.”
“But would you honestly be able to trust him again? The way you used to?”
“If my husband was courageous enough, like your wife, to tell me something that brutally honest, then I would give him the benefit of the doubt when he says nothing physical happened. I think you need to ask yourself what is keeping you from fully trusting your wife.”
“I do trust her,” Mason said. “I just…” Don’t have confidence in her feelings for me anymore.
Dr. Kahn leaned forward in her seat, but she didn’t pressure him to finish his thought. Instead, she gave him a gentle, sympathetic smile.
“You and your wife got your start based on a pretty funny, but still big misunderstanding that led to a coerced date, and ultimately the end of an existing relationship. All of this laid the foundation of a marriage that would be filled with assumptions, manipulation, and some uncertainty. And they seem to be a running theme in your marriage.”
Mason frowned, wanting to refute everything she just said. But he couldn’t find the words that would unravel her neatly outlined assessment of them.
“Speaking as your counselor,” Dr. Kahn continued, “I would strongly suggest that when you find yourself reacting, stop and start asking questions. You and Jules both need to start opening up to one another if you hope to rebuild trust in each other.”
Jules sat across from her lawyer, her hands clasped tightly on her lap. “So you’re saying there is nothing I can do?”
“Unfortunately, no,” Linda said. “The news stations are smart. They wouldn’t broadcast anything that could come close to being considered defamatory. They’re just making a lot of noise that will eventually die down. You’ll see.”
“But how can they go around saying these things about me?”
Linda shrugged. “Freedom of press.”
Jules’ frustration level nearly reached its boiling point. She had missed her counseling session for this, only to be told that she could do nothing about protecting her name and reputation in the press.
“I could have the station publish a statement addressing these allegations, but honestly, I believe it is best we not draw any more attention to it. It’s nothing but salacious gossip, and the public will see it for what it is.”
Jules shook her head. “I don’t care about public opinion. These lies are hurting my marriage, and I want them to stop.”
Actually, she wanted that night to have never had happened. As much as she hated to admit it, Mason had every right to blame her. She had brought this drama into their lives, and now she just wanted it to disappear.
“I’m sorry, Jules. There isn’t much I can do. And frankly, this isn’t my area of expertise. If you want to continue with the divorce proceedings, however, then that we can get started on today.”
Jules frowned at the thin, sharply dressed woman. “I told you, my husband and I are going to marriage counseling.”
Linda sat back in her chair. “And how is that working out for you?”
Jules stiffened at the intrusive question, hoping the woman wasn’t intentionally trying to be snide.
“Fine,” Jules said tersely. “It was actually going great until this mess in the news came in, and…” Crumbled what had been the rebuilding of something sweet.
Linda offered a polite smile. “Well, if things take a turn for the worst, I’ll be ready.”
As Jules left the attorney’s office, she began to question her decision to come here in the first place, because if she was looking for an ally in saving her marriage, Linda Greisen was not it.
Another part of her also regretted missing their session today. She had gotten very few answers or solutions from Linda, and she could have instead used that time to meet with Dr. Kahn and work through her recent tensions with Mason.
They certainly needed to.
When Jules pulled into her driveway, Carrie was on her way out with Madison strapped in the back seat. Jules went to the passenger side and leaned in.
“Mommy!”
Jules smiled at the sound. She would never get tired of it. “Hi, baby. Have you been good today?”
“Yes. I was very good today.”
Jules glanced over at Carrie.
“Nothing’s broken and that’s all I’m going to say about that,” she said with a low chuckle. “What are you doing back so early?”
“I had to cancel one of my appointments because the other ran late. Are you two headed to the park?”
“Yup, then we’re going to pick up Jeremy from school.”
“Mommy, am I starting school tomorrow?”
“Yes, honey, but it’s like practice school. You start your real school in two weeks.”
“Can I wear my new shoes?”
“Yes, with your new uniform.”
Madison beamed with excitement and Jules realized that soon both her babies would be in school, leaving her with a lot more time on her hands. A small twinge of nostalgia was already starting to take root, and she sighed. The first day of school was going to be a tearful one for her.
Until then, she would be busy with her program director, finishing up the planning for the Labor Day weekend Family Fun Day. Then there was Jeremy’s progress report meeting in the morning.
“Carrie, I just realized I have a few early meetings tomorrow, which is also the first day of Madison’s prep classes at Saint Francis.”
“Whoa, prep classes for preschool?”
Jules shrugged. “They’re one of the best. Would you mind swapping just for tomorrow? I’ll take Jeremy and you drop off Madison?”
“Sure, that shouldn’t be a problem.”
Jules smiled. “What would I do without you?”
“Remember this moment when Christmas rolls around,” Carrie said with a wink.
She pulled out of the driveway, and Jules waved at them until the car was out of sight. She grabbed the mail from the box and went into the house. Jules sat at the kitchen table and began to sift through the pile. She had gotten in a habit of opening the mail that she didn’t hesitate when she came across a letter from Dr. Kahn’s office.
Treatment Verification Letter.
Jules skimmed the letter, confused as to what she was reading. She read it again, and this time it began to make sense.
This was all just for his job.
She racked her mind trying to think of any other reason he would need a letter like this, then realized it didn’t matter. The fact that their counseling sessions were
being used to fulfill another purpose beyond repairing their marriage hurt. This was yet another example of him putting everything else before their marriage—before her.
Jules blinked the moisture that suddenly blurred her vision. It was silly, really. She should have known that his sudden interest in marriage counseling had to do with anything other than repairing their marriage.
She didn’t know how long she sat there until Mason came home and found her at the table. She couldn’t even look at him, so she kept her gaze glued to the letter.
“You weren’t at our session today.”
“I know.”
“You could have told me you had another appointment today. We could have rescheduled our session for later in the day or tomorrow.”
She raised her gaze to his, incensed that he would have the audacity to be upset with her for missing a session he really cared nothing about.
“I didn’t plan to miss our session, Mason. My meeting just took longer than I expected.”
He frowned. “Was meeting with your lawyer more important than sticking with our counseling session?”
“As a matter of fact, it was,” she said tightly. “Since I can’t rely on you or anyone else to be in my corner, I needed to know if there was anything my lawyer could do to stop the media from spreading any more lies about me.”
He pressed his lips in a tight line at her jibe, but she continued anyway.
“And you know why? Because I was hoping that maybe once this was over, we could get back to fixing us. But you don’t really care about that, do you?”
“What are you talking about?”
She shot to her feet and shoved the letter at him. He grabbed it, his brow furrowed in a deep frown as he quickly read the letter.
“What am I missing?” he asked, glancing back up at her.
Did he not see anything wrong with what he did?
She scoffed and shook her head. “You truly are unbelievable.” She tried to walk around him, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
“No. Help me understand, Jules. Because I’m really trying to figure out what’s going on in that head of yours.”