by Sara Craven
And apparently she wasn't the only one. Mrs Preston had come to the end of her tether with Debbie, too, and Phoebe's old job was available at the cafe. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than nothing, she thought.
She helped Mrs Fletcher make mince pies, watched a film on television without seeing one frame of it, and accompanied them all to the midnight service.
It was only when the children's choir sang 'Away in a Manger' that she found the tears coursing uncontrollably down her face.
And, bowing her head, she prayed that little Tara would have a merry Christmas, and that Dominic would find happiness with the woman he loved.
'We're going to take the presents round to my grandparents,' Lynn said the following morning. 'You're welcome to come.'
'It's all right. I'll stay and keep an eye on the turkey,' Phoebe returned, smiling resolutely.
'We won't be long.' Lynn gave her a narrow look. 'Sure you're OK?'
'I'm fine.' Phoebe pushed her towards the door. 'Go and play Santa Claus.'
Say after me, Phoebe Grant, she told herself sternly once she was alone—I'm not going to ruin the Fletchers' Christmas. I am not going to be a spectre at the feast.
She switched on the television, but all the programmes seemed to be about loved ones being reunited with each other over vast distances, and she couldn't bear it.
Fitton Magna wasn't a great distance, but it might as well have been the North Pole.
She put on a tape of some Christmas music, and settled down to read the book Lynn had bought her.
The sound of the key in the front door made her jump.
'That was quick—' she began, and shopped. Because it wasn't Lynn, or her parents, who appeared in the sitting room doorway, but Dominic.
He looked pale, and strained, and there were deep shadows under his eyes, but his smile touched her like a caress. Wordlessly, he held his arms out, and she went to him, half-stumbling.
He lifted her off her feet, kissing her deeply, hungrily, » and for a delirious moment she responded with equal ardour. Then she remembered, and pushed him away.
'We mustn't.' Her voice trembled. 'This isn't right.'
He set her gently on her feet. 'It feels right to me, my love.'
'Please, don't say that,' she whispered. 'Aren't things bad enough already?'
'I'd say they were improving by the moment.'
'Is this why you sent me away?' she demanded with sudden fierceness. 'To hide me from Serena—so that I can be your bit on the side? Well, I won't. However much I love you, I won't live like that.'
'I certainly sent you away from Serena,' Dominic said mildly. 'But solely for your own protection. She was in a bloody dangerous mood. She'd already hit you, and I couldn't risk what she might do next, so I got you out of the house. It was clear she saw you as her rival, and I thought she might be easier to deal with if you weren't around.'
'Deal with?' Phoebe echoed in bewilderment. 'But you're remarrying.'
'No,' he said. 'Under no circumstances would I ever allow Serena past the margin of my life ever again.'
'But you were sleeping together.'
'Never,' he said. 'I admit she let me know she was available, but I wasn't. Do you really think I'd have laid a hand on her again after everything that's happened? After you?'
'Dominic—I saw her go into your room that first night.'
'Did she?' His brows lifted. 'How disappointing for her, my darling. Because I wasn't there. I went for a long drive, then sat on a hill and watched the dawn, and did a lot of thinking, and she certainly wasn't there when I got back.'
'But you must have some feelings for her still.' She found herself remembering Hazel Sinclair's bitter words.
'She's Tara's mother, and there's nothing I can do about that,' he said slowly. 'But my overriding feeling is pity, because she's screwed up her entire life. But that doesn't mean I'd let her screw up mine.'
'Then why did you let her come back?'
'To find out what she wanted. I knew she'd been sacked by the studio because I've had someone keeping an eye on her out there. I knew too that she'd broken with Bryn Stratton. He was the reason I was able to get custody of Tara. I knew he was a junkie, and I suspected Serena had acquired the habit too. I threatened to make it public in court, and she caved in.'
'But why?'
'Because she couldn't afford that.' His voice was grim. 'The head of the studio had a son who died through his cocaine addiction, and he's violently antidrugs. I hoped it might have brought her to her senses, but I soon realised I was wrong.'
Phoebe gasped. 'You mean she's an addict?'
'Oh, yes.' His voice was almost matter-of-fact. 'The signs were all there. I knew she'd dabbled in the old days—she even had a supplier in sleepy old Midburton—but now it's serious. She has to have treatment.'
He gave her a quizzical look. 'Now you understand her violent reaction when you called her the Snow Queen.'
He drew a deep breath. 'Last night was sheer hell. I'd already contacted a specialist who runs an excellent clinic near London. He came down at once with an ambulance, and persuaded Serena to go with him. She was in a bad way—apparently her supplier had let her down—and she agreed.'
'Oh, God,' Phoebe said with anguish. 'Poor Tara.'
'She only knows that Mummy is ill, and has to be made better. I think she'd already sensed that something was very wrong. I felt such a bastard getting rid of you like that, but I had no choice. I couldn't tell you what was going on until I'd got Serena herself to admit she had a problem. I didn't know how long it would take, and I had to make sure you were safe.'
'I understand,' she said gently. She hesitated. 'Dominic, I think I know who her supplier is. There's a perfume shop in the precinct where I got the dolls' house. She used to go there regularly.'
He sighed. 'I suppose I'd better put the local drugs squad onto it. Naturally Serena wouldn't give them away, although she was pretty frank about a number of other things. It was she who got Tony to come down here and spy out the lie of the land, and he tipped her off about you. The last thing she wanted was for me to establish another relationship.'
'So she really did want you back,' Phoebe said quietly.
'No,' he said, 'she wanted Tara. And while I had custody she couldn't have her. Another of her lovers is a producer, and he's planning a new version of Alice in Wonderland with a mix of actors and animation. Serena had decided Tara should play Alice.'
He paused. 'She's blown her own career, but she could survive if she made Tara a star, earning big money. Once she'd secured my cooperation, either in or out of marriage, she was going to take her to California.'
He shook his head. 'Do you know, at one point she almost had me fooled? I really began to think she'd come back just for Tara. Because she loved her and wanted to be a mother to her. And I hated myself, because that was the last thing I wanted.'
'Why?'
He looked at her, the grey eyes tender. 'Because I was in love with you, and I knew that Serena would never stand competition—even for a man she didn't want. I was worried that she'd see how I felt, so I kept away from you, even though it nearly killed me after that evening we spent together. Then Tara made me kiss you, and I was lost. And Serena knew it. She's been like an unexploded bomb ever since.'
'And she's really gone—to this clinic?'
'She didn't have a choice. If she's cured, she's still got a life. And she'll be able to see Tara too. But Tara will live with us.'
He paused. 'Or am I taking too much for granted? I came here to ask you to marry me, but perhaps you don't want me. I couldn't blame you. One way or another, I've led you a hell of a dance since we first met.'
Phoebe reached up and kissed him. 'Then I shall have to get my revenge,' she whispered. 'By leading you one hell of a dance too. When we're married.'
He said her name, his voice breaking, and held her and kissed her as if he would never let her go, and they were both laughing and both crying, and it was their own special Chr
istmas miracle.
'Let's go home,' he said at last. 'Your presents are under the tree, and there's one excited little girl who can't wait to see you. And one demented dog.'
'How did you get in here, anyway?' Phoebe asked belatedly.
'I saw Lynn and her parents round the corner,' he explained. 'Lynn gave me a hard lecture, and also the spare key. I've to post it through the letter box when we leave.'
Phoebe hesitated. 'Dominic—it will be all right—with Tara? She wanted—you and Serena...'
'It won't all be plain sailing,' he said. 'And we're crazy 'if we think differently. But she told me to ask if she could be a bridesmaid, so I think we have her consent. And she made me bring this, too.'
He took a small box from his pocket. Phoebe gasped when she saw the exquisite ruby flanked with diamonds.'Oh, Dominic. It—it's beautiful.'
'You see? I was even prepared to try bribery to get you.' He put it on her finger and kissed her hand.
'I don't need bribing.' Phoebe put her arms round him, enfolding him with her love, because his need was as great as hers.
She smiled up into his eyes. 'I have a far better reason than that for marrying you.'
He rested his cheek on her hair. 'And what's that?'
'Why,' said Phoebe, 'I'm doing it just for Tara.'
Table of Contents
A NANNY FOR CHRISTMAS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN