by Lydia Rowan
The loss of her closeness and her warmth made him shiver, but he quickly sheathed himself and then pushed inside her, not stopping until he was completely buried.
He looked into Ariel’s eyes then, saw passion, desire and something else in those brown depths, and then he captured her mouth with his, breaching her mouth with his tongue in the same way that he breached her pussy with his cock. She grasped him, cried out as he moved inside her and retreated, each breathy moan, sigh, spasm of her tight walls around him making him want even more.
As he pushed and pulled, he strummed her clit, used a finger to circle her opening, feel the place where they were connected, and though he’d intended to tease her, he was also teasing himself, and soon, he was close to the edge. He’d take her with him, though, so he concentrated on her clit, stroking it in irregular patterns, soft, hard, fast, slow, until, when she was a panting writhing mass, he tugged it hard.
“Ah!” she cried, and then her body went taut and then lax, her walls clenching tight and then releasing with the strength of her climax.
Then he let himself go, and his orgasm stole through him like electricity. He wrapped his arms around Ariel, pulled her even closer, and rode out the pleasure, staying buried inside her as long as he could, Ariel’s kisses and touches only intensifying the pleasure.
He came down slowly, soul-deep satisfied, but not yet ready to end this.
“I think we should move this to the bedroom. How much time do you have?” Matt asked when he could finally speak.
“Don’t tempt me. I have two catalytic converters to change today.”
Matt nipped at her shoulder. “Have I told you how sexy it is when you talk cars?”
“No, but if I let you tell me, I’ll never make it to work.”
“Me either,” he said, knowing he had his work to attend to but still letting his lips trail down her arm, loving the way her hair stood on end where he caressed her.
“We’ll pick this conversation up later?” he asked, moving up to kiss her jaw.
“Count on it,” was Ariel’s breathy reply.
Chapter Ten
“So things are going well with Dr. Poole,” Mandy said about a week after school had started.
“Why do you say that?” Ariel asked innocently.
Mandy smiled lightly, and while she didn’t speak, Ariel knew she could see right through the facade.
“What, Mandy?”
“Ariel, I’m a master of ferreting out a faux-innocent act, so that’s not going to work on me.”
“Fine, but why do you think things are going well, or at all for that matter?”
“He came to school with Dani and was beaming like a proud papa.”
“So maybe he was just proud of Dani.”
“Maybe, and maybe it had just a little bit to do with you?”
“Maybe, but it’s no big deal.”
“It is. You guys looked really happy,” she said softly.
Ariel heaved out a sigh. They had been happy and that morning and the time after had marked a turning point for them. They hadn’t had the talk Matt had mentioned, but she’d felt better, her time with him more meaningful. But still…
“It’s going okay,” Ariel finally said.
Mandy, who’d been reclining in her spot on Ariel’s couch sat up straight. “Then why do you sound like someone just kicked your dog?”
“I don’t have a dog, and don’t let Dani even hear you mention one.”
“Ariel, talk to me. I have papers to grade, but I will sit here all night if I need to.”
Ariel lifted her mouth into a smile but knew it was a grim one at best with the way Mandy’s eyes darkened.
“Is this right, Mandy?” she asked.
Her friend’s brows bunched with confusion. “Is what right?”
“This. You know, dating, or whatever you want to call it.”
“It is if you’re ready and when we talked about it, you seemed to be.”
“I was. I am, but I guess I just never thought…I mean, Dani loves him, Mandy. Is over the moon about him.”
“That’s a good thing,” Mandy said.
“But she doesn’t really understand what it means, but she will soon enough and then what will she think?”
Mandy blinked and then narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “If I didn’t know better, I’d swear Matilda brainwashed you or something because you sound exactly like her. Come on, Ariel, you know better.”
“Do I? I mean, maybe she has a point. I have to set an example,” Ariel said.
She’d said and thought those words so many times in the weeks since she’d been seeing Matt, she was sick of them. That fact didn’t make them any less true though.
“And what, being a responsible adult woman who’s seeing an equally responsible adult man is not setting a good example?”
“But she doesn’t need to see me like that,” Ariel said. The words lacked conviction, but she voiced them, the little worry that had wormed itself into her brain unwilling to rest.
“And the alternative?”
“I could end it,” Ariel said, surprised by the shard of pain that speared her stomach when she voiced the thought.
“And that would be a better example? Instead of showing your daughter a strong woman who moved on after a loss and lives a full, happy life, you’ll just be stuck waiting until you think it’s okay and then realize that you’ve let way too much time pass you by? Things might not work out with Matt, but if they don’t, you’ll manage. And I trust you enough to know that you won’t do anything to harm your daughter. You should trust yourself, too.”
“And Daniel? His memory?” Ariel couldn’t help but say.
“Honor it by living the way he would have wanted you to,” Mandy said.
••••
“So tell me about yourself, Matt,” Ariel said a couple of days later.
Dani was with her grandparents, so she’d taken the opportunity to have dinner with Matt.
He glanced across the table at her and smiled, looking slightly confused.
“You pretty much know all there is to know, I think,” he replied.
“Nope. I disagree. I know what you do, where you’re from, but I don’t know you,” Ariel said.
“Where’s this going, Ariel?” he asked, sitting up a little straighter, eyes clouding.
She paused, wanting to kick herself for opening the topic, and so ham-fistedly no less. “Why aren’t you married?”
He waved nonchalantly, but Ariel could see his discomfort with this conversation. “Haven’t found the right person,” he said.
“Matt…”
“What?” he said shortly.
“Let me in,” she said softly.
He pulled his lips tight, and then he relented. “To be honest, I never considered it.”
“Why?”
“After my mom… My dad, he was broken. He completely fell apart, couldn’t take care of himself or me.”
“I understand. And I can’t even explain how hard it is to pick yourself back up after something like that.”
“You seemed to do it.”
“I got there, but that was luck more than anything. Some days, I didn’t think I would,” Ariel said.
“But you did. And he didn’t. Didn’t keep up the house, couldn’t hold down a job, he just fell into a pit so deep I don’t know if he’ll ever be able to get out.”
“You hate him for it?”
Matt shook his head and shrugged, his big, muscled body relaxed, almost nonchalant, but his face tight. “Not anymore. I still get pissed when I think about it, and I get so frustrated by him, I can’t even bring myself to talk to him sometimes. It was really bad last year, right around the time Blake came home. He’d been gone a couple years and eventually drifted back, I guess after he heard I’d bought the house.” Matt looked off for a moment before turning his gaze back to her. “Working on this place dredged up a lot of crap that I thought I was over, so much so I couldn’t stand to look at him for a whi
le.”
He exhaled and shrugged again. “But I don’t hate him, and I forgave him a long time ago. It took some work, some serious work, but I’d be just like him if I dragged around the stuff I can never change.”
“So what about family?” Ariel asked.
A humorless laugh escaped him. “When I was a kid, I got it in my head that if I never loved someone, then they couldn’t die and leave me.”
Ariel felt herself frowning, but Matt didn’t seem to notice and continued, “And when I got older, I saw how tough marriage was, how many of the guys ended up divorced anyway, so I just put it aside.”
“And now?” she asked quietly.
He turned his eyes to her then, but they were unreadable. “Honestly, Ariel, I don’t know.”
Chapter Eleven
Ariel stared, first settling on the misshapen soap dish Dani had made in some art class, then moving to the toothbrush holder that held her purple one and Matt’s green one, a new development she couldn’t even remember happening. It was probably an accident, him needing a toothbrush, though he’d never actually slept over. A small point, especially with how much time he’d been spending at her house, which would probably be so much more soon.
Heaving out a sigh, Ariel turned her gaze down and centered it on the piece of plastic in her hand. She was struck by the incongruous urge to laugh. There was nothing funny about this situation, any of it, but the urge was there all the same, and she gave in to it.
She stared down at the plastic again, disbelieving. The plastic stared back at her, unchanging, practically daring her to deny the truth in front of her. There was no way for her to do so.
It was unavoidable, undeniable.
She was carrying Mathias Poole’s baby.
She slumped on the toilet seat, her shoulders heavy with the weight of that knowledge. She suddenly felt tired, really tired, but even more she was happy, felt a joy that was as undeniable as her condition. And for a moment, she let her mind fill with that, her and Matt and Dani and the new baby together, making a new family.
It was a pretty picture, them all happy together.
It was also a fantasy.
The picture died in her mind.
Matt was so strong, so handsome, so passionate, so sweet to her and to her daughter. But sometimes, in those fleeting, quiet moments, she caught the faint panic in his eyes, remembered his revelations about his past, his uncertainty about the future.
He’d been honest about his uncertainty, and she’d been wary but then careless, a fact that made this situation that much worse. Bad enough that she’d been lazy about getting back on birth control, but she’d been so needy for him, so anxious to feel him inside her, she hadn’t given the consequences of those brief moments a second thought and it had damned her completely. It’d only been seconds, but she knew better! And now there was a price to be paid.
A bubble of panic rose with the changing tide of her thoughts. Oh God, what if he thought she’d tried to trap him? He was a good catch, and more importantly, an honorable man. He’d want to do the “right” thing, feel it was his duty, even if it was something he didn’t want. She went slack against the toilet again, practically watching the story write itself behind her eyes.
Desperate Widowed Single Mother Traps Eligible Bachelor.
“Jesus,” Ariel muttered. Then she laughed. This was fan-fucking-tastic.
But there was nothing to be done about it from the master bathroom, so Ariel finally stood. She stopped at Dani’s room and peeked in, smiling at the peaceful-looking girl nestled in her princess canopy bed. Her thoughts turned to the first months of Dani’s life. Those had been hard, almost impossible with the grief that had rocked her entire universe, but she’d gotten through it.
She’d get through this, too. It would be difficult, but she was strong and she’d handle it. Of course, she needed to tell Matt first. That was going to be an awesome conversation, and she was half-tempted to call him and blurt it out but immediately dismissed the idea. This was definitely an in-person conversation, and as nervous as she was, she needed to be face-to-face when they had it.
The need to see him crawled over her like an itch she was clamoring to scratch, so intense she even considered calling Matilda over to watch Dani while she went to Matt’s. She immediately nixed that idea, too. The tension that had always been there, the disapproval that had marred their relationship since the very day they’d met, had only intensified since Matilda had learned of her relationship with Matt. And besides, Ariel needed to start adjusting. Somehow, she doubted Mrs. Mallick would be very happy about her impending new arrival, so she couldn’t count on her for as much help as she’d gotten used to.
She grabbed her phone and dialed before she could stop herself.
“Hello?” Mandy said, voice soft, calm, patient.
“It’s Ariel. I am sorry to bother you, but would you mind looking after Dani for a bit tomorrow?”
“Of course not,” Mandy said. “We have kickball for the third-graders, and she’s more than welcome to come along. She won’t be able to play, but I’ll keep her entertained.”
Ariel laughed, knowing full well that her little girl would toss caution to the wind and try to play anyway. “Thanks, Mandy.”
She said her good-byes and then hung up. For a moment, she toyed with calling Matt to set aside some time but didn’t. She knew the moment she heard his voice, everything would come spilling out, so she couldn’t risk it. So now, all there was to do was wait.
••••
Matt considered dropping by Ariel’s. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm, but not quite hot, a great day to take Dani to the park. But he ultimately decided against it. Ariel seemed to be okay with the way things were going, but she wasn’t entirely settled on how she wanted to handle things with Dani, and Matt wanted to respect her wishes.
So he settled in his office, did a few case notes and tried to keep his hand from grabbing the phone and checking in on his girls.
His girls.
He didn’t even try to pretend that thinking of them that way, stamping them with his claim in even such a small way, didn’t make him happy.
When his doorbell rang, he stood, excited by the distraction. It didn’t matter who it was. Anything would be better than sitting here pretending he was perfectly content to work when he’d have given anything to be with them instead.
When he saw Ariel’s familiar form, he felt a surge of excitement that he tried to tamp down, no easy feat when she stood there, a vision in her jeans and tank top, succulent curves on display.
“Hey, come in,” he said, smiling bright.
Her gaze flitted toward him and then away, and he knew something was wrong. The tension in her shoulders, the tilt of her head were all giveaways as she entered. Unable to stop himself, he pulled her into an embrace, stroked her shoulders until some of the tension faded.
“What’s wrong?”
When she didn’t say anything, his heart kicked up and he immediately thought of Dani but then calmed. Ariel wouldn’t be here if it were Dani, so this was something else.
“Matt, I’m pregnant,” she said without looking at him.
She’d whispered the words, her voice going near silent toward the end, but Matt hadn’t misheard her.
Almost simultaneously, his heart soared, then crashed, and then soared again.
“So when are we getting married?” he asked.
••••
Of all the things Ariel had expected, that was certainly not one. Though upon reflection, she realized it should have been. No matter what, Matt didn’t shirk responsibility, and this would be no different.
She watched him, looked for any sign of reaction, but his face was trained in an unreadable expression, one that, despite the attraction that rolled through her blood as she watched him, had her wary.
“Was that a proposal?”
Her words had been more defensive than she’d intended, but the question stood.
“Of
course it is. How far along are you? Have you been to the doctor?”
“A couple of months, I suspect, no, and are you sure that was a proposal?”
His eyes snapped with annoyance. “Of course I’m sure. So that morning?”
“Yes,” she said.
His expression remained unreadable as he repeated his question. “When, Ariel?”
Part of her admired it, his commitment to doing the “right” thing, but the other, bigger part of her couldn’t let this happen.
“Matt, don’t be rash. We need to talk this through.”
“I know that this is going to be an adjustment for Dani and that you’ll want to handle things in the way you think best, but those are all details. We’re on the same page with the big issue, correct?”
“Issue?” she said, suddenly defensive again.
Pregnancy hormones would have been a great scapegoat for the anger that filled her, but she couldn’t blame them. No, what she felt was a product of his expression, one that had been unreadable, but that she now understood loud and clear. He was looking at her, at them, like they were a problem, something to solve. Something for him to fix.
And as unfair as it was, as much as her logical mind reminded her that there had never been a promise of anything from him or from her, she still trembled with rage. Marriage was sacrosanct, and that he would reduce it to something so clinical, so detached from anything resembling real emotion, left her furious.
“No congratulations. You haven’t even asked me if I want to keep it.”
The deadly, dangerous expression that shrouded his face told her that she’d gone too far. But she didn’t care.
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that, Ariel,” he said, voice gravel over velvet.
“Why?” she exclaimed, her own voice lowering with her anger.
“You know why.”
“Explain it to me,” she said.
“You should know why. Whether you do or not is not my problem. When are we going to get married?”
He sounded like he was scheduling a root canal.
“We won’t be. I’ll be in touch,” she said, moving toward the door.