by Tanya Bird
She rested her chin on her knees. ‘Five. I have missed so much of his life.’
‘They’ll be watching him especially close at the moment, just in case.’
‘If I knew where he was, I would go to him anyway.’
‘That’s why I’m here, to protect you and to stop you from doing anything foolish.’ He watched as she pushed some hair off her face. ‘If it makes you feel any better, I don’t remember the first five years with my mother.’
‘What about the last three?’
He thought for a moment. ‘I remember some things. Not events, but moments and feelings. I think I remember her face, but I’m not entirely sure I trust my memories.’
Charis had arrived back from the village, and they watched as he approached the house on horseback.
‘I was with my mother for fifteen years, but the memories are fading.’
‘What was your mother like?’ he asked, conscious that their time alone would soon be over.
She straightened her legs and leaned back on her hands, a mirrored reflection of Leksi. ‘Hard-working, a good wife, and a good mother given our circumstances. She was always too tired to be much fun, but we were always fed and clothed.’ She attempted to tidy her hair. ‘What was your mother like?’
He had not thought about her in some time. It was easier not to. ‘She loved to laugh, and she had a wild imagination. She used to make up funny stories, to make me laugh. I don’t think my father appreciated our sense of humour. I don’t remember him ever laughing, but I know he loved her.’
‘Why do you say that?’
He thought for a moment. ‘Because of how he grieved.’
They fell silent, watching Charis unsaddle his horse in the yard.
‘I hope I laughed often enough in those eight years. I wish I could see myself through her eyes.’ Leksi looked around, not really believing he had spoken those words aloud. His gaze met Petra’s.
‘I have no doubt the two of you spent most of those eight years in absolute hysterics.’
He cleared his throat. ‘Is that your way of admitting I’m funny?’
Her eyes shined at him. ‘Obviously I am not going to appreciate your humour as much as your mother.’
‘That is a rather long-winded way of saying no.’
She held his gaze. ‘I will admit to finding you amusing.’
‘Very generous of you.’
Charis had spotted them and was now heading in their direction. Standing, Leksi offered his hand and pulled her to her feet, holding her hand for a moment. ‘How do you feel?’
‘Embarrassed, and in need of a wash.’
He released her hand, stepping back from her. ‘Then my work here is done. I should go note down all the things Charis forgot to buy so we don’t forget them next time.’
‘Sir Leksi,’ she called to him.
He turned, waiting.
‘Your only job is to keep me safe. I feel as though you have gone above and beyond what is expected.’ She appeared to be struggling with her words. ‘I suppose I just wanted to say thank you.’
He suspected he would not go above and beyond for any other woman. Something was broken in her, and he had an irrational need to fix it. He watched as her fingers worked over her fingernails.
Press, press, press.
‘Best stay alert,’ he said. ‘I have a bad reputation when it comes to women.’
She studied him for the longest moment, then shook her head. ‘No, I think Aldara was right. You are a good man, Sir Leksi.’ She gathered the skirt of her dress and stepped past him. ‘Your mother would be very proud,’ she added.
The comment landed with a thud. He had received compliments from women before, but not like this. This was different to the post-climactic murmurs of a woman quivering beneath him. This one left something warm humming inside him.
Chapter 9
There was no news of her son. What had she expected? There were no shortcuts simply because she was desperate. And she was desperate. At some point, Prince Tyron’s generosity would run out, or his hand would be forced, and then she would be on her own.
Six weeks after fleeing Masville, another letter arrived from the prince. She could tell by Leksi’s face that it was not good news. She had watched him over the weeks and had learned to read him.
‘Bad news?’ she asked, reminding herself to breathe. They were sending her back. She was sure of it.
Leksi lowered the letter, his expression serious. ‘King Nilos has been in communication with King Pandarus. He’s demanding your return.’ He handed the parchment to her so she could read it.
‘He knows I am here.’ She handed it back to him. ‘He will come for me if you do not hand me over.’
Leksi shook his head. ‘He’s bluffing, chasing confirmation of your whereabouts.’ Folding the letter, he shoved it into his pocket. ‘That’s not to say there’s no danger. King Pandarus is likely aware of the fact that you’re in Syrasan. Prince Tyron will have to manage that.’
Her hand went to her forehead. ‘I have brought him so much trouble. Perhaps it is time for me to return to Corneo, search for Xander on my own.’
‘You’ll be caught before you even get a chance to make enquiries.’
They stared at one another. As much as she did not want to admit it, she felt much safer with him around. ‘If the order arrives to hand me over, you will have no choice but to obey your king.’
‘I’m quite aware of the workings of a monarch, thank you.’
She turned away ‘I need a walk.’
‘I’ll come with you.’
Her lips pressed together. ‘There is really no need. I am just going down to the water. You must be tired of my company by now.’
‘I thought I would be, but I’m not.’
She swallowed and was about to reply when she heard a wagon approaching. Leksi turned just as Charis came running from the house.
‘Wagon, my lord!’
Leksi rolled his eyes. ‘Well spotted.’ His hand went to the hilt of his sword, and he began walking in the direction of the carriage. ‘Take her inside,’ he called to his squire, then glanced back at her. ‘Don’t come out of the house.’
She nodded, and with her heart hammering in her chest, she followed Charis into the house and waited nervously by the door. She listened as the horses came to a stop and the wagon door groaned. The exchange sounded friendly, and she frowned at Charis.
A moment later, footsteps approached, delicate ones that could only belong to a woman. Charis stepped forwards to open the door and a pretty brunette stepped inside, looking around before her gaze settled on Petra.
‘There you are,’ the woman beamed. She closed the gap between them and took both of Petra’s hands in hers. ‘In the flesh, exactly as I imagined you.’ Her eyes moved down Petra’s dress. ‘Though clearly styled by Aldara. You poor thing. Never mind, I come bearing gifts.’
Petra looked to Charis for help, an introduction, or at least a clue that he knew who she was.
‘Lady Hali,’ the squire said.
The woman’s eyes widened as she realised her mistake. ‘Oh, how rude of me. Please, just call me Hali.’ Seeing Petra’s blank expression, she added, ‘I’m a good friend of Aldara’s. She sent word that you were cooped up in this sad little house with Leksi, so I thought it best that we stop by and ensure our notorious knight is behaving himself. Now that I’ve seen you, I believe it was a wise decision.’ She leaned forwards in a conspiratorial manner. ‘Leksi has a bit of a reputation with the ladies.’
‘So everyone keeps telling me.’
Leksi chose that moment to enter the house, though she could not tell by his face whether he had heard. His eyes met hers briefly as he held the door open for someone else. An older gentleman stepped through and smiled at her. He had a kind face.
‘Lord Yuri,’ Leksi announced. ‘And I see you have already met his lovely wife.’
Petra curtsied. ‘My lord.’
Yuri inclined his head. ‘Forgive t
he intrusion. My wife was rather keen to meet you. I suggested we send a messenger first, give you some warning, perhaps come by tomorrow—’
‘I was never going to wait until tomorrow,’ Hali said.
‘Quite.’ Yuri’s eyes smiled.
‘We are staying for dinner.’
Petra’s eyebrows shot up, and she looked to Leksi, who gave a small shrug.
‘Don’t worry about a thing,’ Hali went on. ‘Our cook is on her way with plenty of food. We shall make a feast of it.’
‘If that is all right with the lady of the house,’ Lord Yuri added, eyes on Petra.
She looked between the expectant faces. Leksi seemed comfortable in their presence, which was good enough for her. He had been starved of company for weeks; their visit would probably do him some good. ‘That sounds wonderful, thank you.’
Hali clapped her hands together. ‘Excellent, but first things first. Let’s get you out of your peasant clothes and into something befitting guests.’
‘I am afraid I do not have a very extensive wardrobe,’ Petra replied.
‘Don’t worry, I brought some things with me. I too was a mentor once.’
Petra glanced at Leksi for confirmation. He nodded once, his lips turning up.
‘And married to a lord?’ Petra said. ‘That must be quite a story.’
‘And a long one. Best reserved for dinner, perhaps,’ Yuri replied. He turned to Leksi. ‘Perhaps you could give me a tour while the ladies ready themselves for dinner.’
More horses arrived outside, and Leksi excused himself before stepping out. A minute later, he returned with two women laden with baskets of food. Leksi pointed them in the direction of the hearth, and after exchanging a surprised glance, they rolled their sleeves up and got to work.
‘It’ll be a short tour,’ Leksi said.
‘Be sure to show Lord Yuri the behourd,’ Petra said with the straightest of faces.
Leksi’s eyes met hers, and the most brilliant smile spread across his face. Such a small thing, but she was rather pleased with herself.
The men walked the grounds, and the women shut themselves in Petra’s bedroom. Hali was surprisingly easy company given they had never met before. She fussed and chatted, often jumping topics before Petra had even commented on the last one. How the woman had ever become a mentor, Petra had no idea. Hali clearly wanted to feel useful, or was perhaps lonely. Either way, Petra just let her do whatever she wanted, happy to sit back and let someone else do the talking.
With the weather finally warming up, she accepted the offer of a green silk dress to wear, enjoying the feel of the luxurious fabric after weeks wearing nothing but plain cotton. Aldara had, of course, been thinking practically, and it was not as if Petra had anyone to impress while she was in hiding.
Hali sat beside her on the bed with a collection of paints and brushes, lifting Petra’s face to her. ‘You must be going out of your mind stuck out here,’ she said, studying Petra’s complexion before deciding on colours.
She was going out of her mind waiting to hear about her son. The rest was not so bad. ‘It is a welcome change from life at Masville.’
Hali nodded in agreement. ‘Oh, I can imagine. I hear King Nilos is a piece of work.’
Petra said nothing.
‘The audacity to give you the role of mentor and then to continue to invite you to his bed, right under the noses of his Companions,’ Hali went on. ‘Bet those women stared daggers at you across the table at every meal.’ She stopped painting. ‘And what sort of man separates a baby from his mother? It’s no wonder you fled.’
So she knew everything. ‘Yes’ was all Petra said. ‘Do you have any children?’ she asked, attempting to move the conversation away from her.
Hali resumed painting. ‘I entered this marriage with realistic expectations as far as children go. Yuri is older than me. His sons are all grown up. Such a big house, so many empty rooms.’
Despite her smile, there was something in her tone that made Petra think she was not so relaxed inside. ‘Perhaps it will just take a little longer for the two of you.’
Hali found a smile. ‘Yuri says the same thing about forming new friendships, but the reality is much harsher. All of his friends are of noble blood, and they’re devastated that he’s married so far below him.’
‘You do not seem like you would have trouble making friends.’
‘Oh, the servants love me, but any woman of standing flees in the opposite direction the moment I enter a room.’
‘I take it they are aware of your previous… adventures.’
Hali laughed, a pretty, warm sound. ‘They think I’m a big whore, if that’s what you mean.’
Petra opened her eyes and watched as Hali mixed a colour for her lips.
‘I too was the king’s Companion once,’ Hali said. ‘Though he wasn’t king at the time.’
‘Companion to a prince is still an honour.’ She had no idea why she said that. Years of internalising the lies fed to her, most likely.
‘Pfft, hardly. He sold me to King Jayr of Zoelin first chance he got.’ She shook her head. ‘Now there’s a fun man.’
Petra observed her. ‘I have met him a number of times. A very intelligent man.’
‘Oh, he’s smart enough. Charming, even. Behind closed doors is another matter. Have you seen his wife?’
‘Queen Cora? A few times. I hear she is not a fan of Companions.’
Hali leaned in. ‘You know, she was Sir Leksi’s biggest admirer for a number of years.’
Petra was not one for gossip, but this comment held her attention. ‘Oh?’
‘If she wasn’t such a horrid person, I might feel sorry for her. In love with a knight for most of her life, then forced to marry a monster.’
‘The queens of Zoelin are treated better than queens of their neighbouring kingdoms.’
Hali appeared sceptical. ‘Do you actually believe that?’
‘I suppose there are more ways to hurt a person than just physically.’
‘Exactly.’
They were silent for a moment, Hali’s eyebrows drawn together in concentration as she applied a few final touches. A question burned inside Petra, and she could no longer contain it.
‘Queen Cora’s feelings for Sir Leksi… were they mutual?’
Hali seemed surprised by the question. ‘Are you asking if Leksi was in love with her?’
Petra’s cheeks burned beneath the paint. ‘You do not have to answer.’
Hali shook her head. ‘I doubt it. They flirted endlessly, of course, but it’s a well-known fact that Leksi loves all women far too much to settle for just one.’
Petra swallowed. ‘Queen Cora is famous for her beauty.’
‘And her vile temper.’ Hali was silent a moment. ‘What was King Nilos like as a lover? I’m picturing him as rather lazy.’
Petra’s gaze fell to her lap.
* * *
‘Look at me.’
‘No.’
He gripped her face, forcing her to meet his gaze. ‘See what you do to me. Look at my face. I love you.’
She closed her eyes. ‘You do not love me.’
‘Look at me!’
‘No.’
He grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked, jolting her neck at an unnatural angle. ‘Tell me you love me.’
‘I love you.’ Her tone was flat, empty.
‘You do not mean it.’
She opened her eyes. ‘I do not mean it.’
Letting go of her hair, he cupped her face with both hands. ‘What do you want? Anything you want, it is yours. Tell me.’
She looked down. ‘My son.’
* * *
‘I am trying to forget,’ Petra replied. It was the truth. She had spent nine years trying to shut him out.
Hali’s face filled with pity. ‘Sorry, it’s none of my business. I’m simply starved for company, as you have probably figured out.’
Yes, she had figured that out. ‘I too appreciate the company,’ Pet
ra lied. She had always preferred to be alone—though she had tolerated Leksi’s company rather well of late. ‘And the dress, and the hair.’
Hali stepped back to admire her work. ‘You look absolutely beautiful. No wonder King Nilos is completely besotted with you.’ She must have noticed the change in Petra’s face, because she added, ‘Of course, he’ll never get past your bodyguard.’
‘I am very fortunate he agreed to help me.’
Hali chewed her lip. ‘Has it been all right here?’
Petra glanced at the window. ‘Yes, actually. Sir Leksi has been very kind.’
‘I hope he isn’t forcing you to address him in such a formal way,’ Hali scoffed. ‘I wouldn’t put it past him, of course.’
‘Not at all. Old habits and all that.’
Hali gestured for her to stand and fiddled with the neckline of the dress so it showed just the right amount of cleavage. ‘You need jewels.’ She stepped over to her bag and began sifting through it. ‘Leksi basically grew up at Archdale, you know?’
Petra stared at her back. ‘After his mother passed away?’
Hali was only half listening. ‘Queen Eldoris practically raised him like one of her own.’ She returned with some gemstones. ‘His father all but threw him out.’
Petra watched as Hali fitted a gold cuff around her wrist. ‘That must have hurt him tremendously.’
‘He’s no wilting flower.’ She stepped back for a final look. ‘Stunning. I must say, I’m surprised Leksi has not tried anything untoward.’
Petra looked out the window to where the men were returning from their walk. Leksi had shown no interest in her beyond the occasional flirt, which she suspected he did with all women. They had become friends of sorts. Probably out of necessity. ‘I am not his type, which makes this situation easier for everyone.’
Hali picked up the small mirror from the bed and held it up. ‘Are you ready to forget your troubles for one evening?’
Petra barely recognised her reflection. It was not just the paint and the jewels, it was the absence of dark circles around her eyes, fuller cheeks and sun-kissed skin. Six weeks and she was already changing. What would a year away from King Nilos look like? A lifetime?