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NOUS sommes quelques-uns à cette époque à avoir voulu attenter aux choses, créer en nous des espaces à la vie, des espaces qui n’étaient pas et ne semblaient pas devoir trouver place dans l’espace.
ARTAUD, Le Pèse-nerfs
(–24)
129
BUT Traveler was not sleeping, after one or two attempts the nightmare kept circling around him and finally he sat up in bed and turned on the light. Talita was not there, somnambulist, geometrid of sleeplessness, and Traveler drank a glass of caña and put on his pajama top. The wicker easy chair looked cooler than the bed, and it was a good night to continue his studies of Ceferino Piriz.
Dans cet annonce ou carte—Ceferino said textually—ye reponds devant ou sur votre demande de suggérer idées pour UNESCO et écrit en el journal “El Diario” de Montevideo.
A gallicized Ceferino! But there was no danger, The Light of World Peace, of which Traveler had some precious extracts, was written in admirable Spanish, the introduction, for example:
In this announcement I wish to present some extracts from a recently written work of mine entitled The Light of World Peace. The aforesaid work has been or is being entered in an international contest … but it so happens that I cannot give you the entire work, as the Journal in which it appears will not permit for a certain length of time the aforesaid work to be supplied in its complete formation to anyone who is not in connection with said Journal…
Therefore I limit myself in this announcement to the transmission of only some extracts from said work, which, the ones that follow, should not be published yet at this time.
Much more clear than an equivalent text by Julián Marías, for example. With two glasses of caña contact was established, and we’re off. Traveler began to feel pleased that he had got up and that Talita was out there somewhere feeding her romanticism. For the tenth time he slowly got into Ceferino’s text.
In this book presentation is made of what we might call “the great formula on behalf of world peace.” It is so much so that in this great formula there will be a Society of Nations or a UN, whereof this Society is a tendency towards values (precious, etc.) and human races; and lastly, as an undenied example of what is international, there will be a country that is truly exemplary, since it will be composed of 45 NATIONAL CORPORATIONS or ministries of the simple, and of 4 national Powers.
So-so: a ministry of the simple. Oh, Ceferino, natural philosopher, herbalist of Uruguayan paradises, nephelibate…
On the other hand, this formula, great in its dimensions, is not alien, respectively, to the world of seers; to the nature of CHILD principles; from the natural measures that a formula is given entire of itself, it will not allow any alteration in the aforesaid formula given entire of itself; etc.
As always, the wise man seemed to feel a nostalgia for prophecy and intuition, but right away the mania for classification of Homo occidentalis raided Ceferino’s little ranch and between mates it organized civilization into three periods:
First period of civilization
A first period of civilization can be conceived that goes from time immemorial in the past to the year 1940. A period which consisted in that everything was inclining towards the world war around the year 1940.
Second period of civilization
A second period of civilization can also be conceived, starting with the year 1940 up to the year 1953. A period which has consisted in that everything has inclined towards world peace or world reconstruction.
(World reconstruction: acting so that in the world each will have what is his; reconstruct efficiently everything already undone before: buildings, human rights, universal balance of prices; etc., etc.)
Third period of civilization
A third period of civilization can also be conceived today or during the present, starting in the year 1953 until the future year 2000. A period which consists in that everything will march firmly towards the efficient arrangement of things.
For Toynbee, obviously … But criticism turns mute in sight of Ceferino’s anthropological scheme:
Now then, here are human beings facing the aforementioned periods:
(A) Humans living in the second period as such, in those same days, did not manage to think very much about the first period.
(B) Humans living, or we who live in this third period of today, in these same times do not think, or we do not think very much about the second period.
(C) In the tomorrow that is to come later, or is to begin in the year 2000, the humans of those days, and in those days, they will not think very much about the third period: the one of today.
The business of not thinking very much was rather certain, beati pauperes spiritu, and now Ceferino went on in the manner of Paul Rivet, running down a classification that had been the high point of afternoons in Don Crespo’s courtyard, to wit:
In the world one can count on up to six human races: the white, the yellow, the brown, the black, the red, and the pampa.
WHITE RACE: of such race are all inhabitants of white skin, such as those of Baltic, Nordic, European, American, etc. countries.
YELLOW RACE: of such race are all inhabitants of yellow skin, such as Chinese, Japanese, Mongols, Hindus in their majority, etc.
BROWN RACE: of such race are all inhabitants of naturally brown skin, brown-skinned Russians, brown-skinned Turks, brown-skinned Arabs, Gypsies, etc.
BLACK RACE: of such race are all inhabitants of black skin, such as inhabitants of West Africa in their great majority, etc.
RED RACE: of such race are all inhabitants of red skin, such as a large part of Ethiopians of dark reddish skin, and of whom the NEGUS or king of Ethiopia is a red example; a large part of Hindus of dark reddish or “coffee-colored” skin; a large part of Egyptians of dark reddish skin; etc.
PAMPA RACE: of such race are all inhabitants of varied or pampa-colored skin, such as all Indians of the three Americas.
“Horacio should be here,” Traveler said to himself. “He could make some good comments on this part. After all, why not? Cefe has tripped over the classic difficulties of the Gummed Label, and he does what he can, like Linnaeus or the synoptic charts in encyclopedias. The business of the brown race is a solution worthy of genius, you’ve got to admit.”
Walking was heard in the hallway, and Traveler went to the door that opened onto the administrative wing. As Ceferino might have said, the first door, the second door, and the third door were closed. Talita must have gone back to the pharmacy, it was incredible how enthusiastic she was about her return to science, scales, and antipyretic adhesives.
Alien to those trifles, Ceferino went on to explain his model Society of Nations:
A society that might be founded in any part of the world, even if the best is in Europe. A Society that would function permanently, and therefore on all working days. A society where its main building or palace would have at least seven (7) chambers or halls that would be fairly large. Etc.
Now then; of the seven mentioned chambers of the palace of the aforesaid Society a first chamber would be occupied by Delegates from countries of the white race, and its President would be of the same color; a second chamber would be occupied by Delegates from countries of the yellow race, and its President would be of the same color; a thir…
And so on all the races, or maybe one could skip over the enumeration, but it was not the same after four glasses of caña (Mariposa and not Ancap, unfortunately, because patriotic homage would have been fitting); it was not at all the same, because Ceferino’s thought was crystallographic, ruled by symmetry and horror vacui, or in other words
…a third chamber would be occupied by Delegates from countries of the brown race, and its President would be of the same color; a fourth chamber would be occupied by Delegates from countries of the black race, and its President would be of the same color; a fifth chamber would be occupied by Delegates from countries of the red race, and its President would be of the sa
me color; a sixth chamber would be occupied by Delegates from countries of the pampa race, and its President would be of the same color; and one—the—seventh chamber would be occupied by the “General Staff” of all the aforementioned Society of Nations.
Traveler had always been fascinated by that “—the—” which interrupted the rigorous crystallization of the system, like the mysterious garden in a sapphire, that mysterious spot in the gem that determines perhaps the coalescence of the system and which in sapphires irradiates its transparent celestial cross like a congealed energy in the heart of the stone. (And why was it called garden, unless because of the influence of gardens of precious stones that appear in Oriental fables?)
Cefe, much less deliquescent, immediately explained the importance of the question:
More details on the aforementioned seventh chamber: in said seventh chamber of the palace of the Society of Nations will be the Secretary General of all of said Society, and the President General, also of all of said society, but such Secretary General at the same time will be the private secretary of the aforementioned President General.
Still more details: well; in the first chamber will be its corresponding President, who will always preside over the aforesaid first chamber; if we speak with respect to the second chamber, idem; if we speak with respect to the third chamber, idem; if we speak with respect to the fourth chamber, idem; if we speak with respect to the fifth chamber, idem; and if we speak with respect to the sixth chamber, idem.
It warmed Traveler’s heart to think that this idem must have cost Ceferino quite a bit. It was an extraordinary acquiescence towards the reader. But now he was into the heart of the matter, and he proceeded to enumerate what he called “the skillful assignment of the model Society of Nations,” viz.:
(1) To look after (not to say to fix) the or those values of money in its international circulation; (2) to designate the wages of workers, the salaries of employees, etc.; (3) to designate values in behalf of what is international (give or fix the price of every article for sale, and give value or merit to other things: how many weapons of war a country may possess; how many children may be born, by international convention, to a woman, etc.); (4) to designate how much monetary return as retirement pay is to be received by a retired person, a pensioner, etc.; (5) of up to how many children all respective women in the world are to bear; (6) of equitable distributions in the international sphere; etc.
Why, Traveler wisely wondered, this repetition in matters concerning freedom of the womb and demography? Under (3) it appeared as a value, and under (5) as a concrete matter of the Society’s competence. Curious infractions of symmetry, of the implacable rigor of the consecutive and orderly enumeration, which meant perhaps a worry, the suspicion that the classic order was, as always, a sacrifice of truth to beauty. But Ceferino recovered from that romanticism that Traveler suspected in him, and proceeded to an exemplary distribution:
Distribution of the weapons of war:
It is already well known that each respective country in the world has its corresponding square miles of territory.
Well, then, here is an example:
(A) The country that theoretically has 1,000 square miles, will have 1,000 cannons; the country that theoretically has 5,000 square miles, will have 5,000 cannons; etc.
(By this it will be understood, 1 cannon for each square mile);
(B) The country that theoretically has 1,000 square miles, will have 2,000 rifles; the country that theoretically has 5,000 square miles, will have 10,000 rifles; etc.
(By this it will be understood 2 rifles for each square mile); etc.
This example will include all respective countries that exist: France has 2 rifles for each of its square miles; Spain, idem; Belgium, idem; Russia, idem; United States, idem; Uruguay, idem; China, idem; etc.; and this will also include all types of weapons of war that exist: (a) tanks; (b) machine-guns; (c) terror bombs; rifles; etc.
(–139)
130
PERILS OF THE ZIPPER
THE British Medical Journal speaks of a new type of accident that can befall boys. This accident is caused by the use of a zipper in place of buttons in trouser flies (our medical correspondent informs us).
The danger lies in the prepuce’s being caught in the fastener. Two cases have already been reported. In both of them circumcision had to be resorted to in order to free the child.
The accident is more likely to occur when the child goes to the bathroom unaccompanied. In an attempt to help him, parents can make matters worse by pulling on the zipper in the wrong direction, as the child will be in no condition to tell whether the accident happened when he was pulling the zipper up or when he was pulling it down. If the child has already been circumcised, the damage can be much more severe.
The doctor advises that by cutting the bottom part of the zipper with pliers or shears the two halves can easily be separated. But a local anaesthetic will have to be administered for the extraction of the part imbedded in the skin.
The Observer, London
(–151)
131
“WHAT do you think about our getting into the national corporation of monks of the prayer of the sign of the cross?”
“Either that or getting into the national budget …”
“We’d have a heavy time of it,” Traveler said, watching Oliveira’s breathing. “I remember perfectly, our obligations would be those of praying for or blessing people, objects, and those very mysterious regions that Ceferino calls sites of places.”
“This must be one,” Oliveira said as if from far away. “It’s the site of a definite place, old buddy.”
“And we would also have to bless planted fields, and boyfriends badly affected by a rival.”
“Call Cefe about it,” said the voice of Oliveira from some site of a place. “I’d like that … Hey, now that I think of it, Cefe comes from Uruguay.”
Traveler didn’t say anything, and he looked at Ovejero who came in and took the pulse of the hysteria matinensis yugulata.
“Monks who are always to combat all spiritual ills,” Oliveira said distinctly.
“Aha,” said Ovejero by way of encouragement.
(–58)
132
AND while somebody explains something as always, I don’t know why I am in this café, in all cafés, in the Elephant & Castle, in the Dupont Barbès, in the Sacher, in the Pedrocchi, in the Gijón, in the Greco, in the Café de la Paix, in the Café Mozart, in the Florian, in the Capoulade, in Les Deux Magots, in the bar that puts its chairs out on the Colleone square, in the Café Dante fifty yards away from the tomb of the Scaligers and that face on a pink sarcophagus that looks as if it had been burned by the tears of Saint Mary of Egypt, in the café across from the Giudecca, with aged and impoverished marchionesses drinking a tiny tea and getting expansive with dusty ambassadors, in the Jandilla, in the Floccos, in the Cluny, in the Richmond in Suipacha, in El Olmo, in the Closerie des Lilas, in the Stéphane (which is on the Rue Mallarmé), in the Tokio (which is in Chivilcoy), in the Au Chien Qui Fume, in the Opern Café, in the Dôme, in the Café du Vieux Port, in cafés anywhere where
We make our meek adjustments,
Contented with such random consolations
As the wind deposits
In slithered and too ample pockets.
Hart Crane dixit. But they’re more than that, they are the neutral territory for the stateless of the soul, the motionless center of the wheel from where one can reach himself in full career, see himself enter and leave like a maniac, wrapped up in women or I O U’s or epistemological theses, and while the coffee swirls around the little cup that goes from mouth to mouth along the edge of days, can loosely attempt revision and balance, equally removed from the ego that came into the café an hour ago and from the ego that will leave within another hour. Self-witness and self-judge, an ironical autobiography between two cigarettes.
In cafés I remember dreams, one no man’s land revives another; now I remember o
ne, but no, I only remember that I must have dreamed something marvelous and that in the end I felt as if expelled (or leaving, but forcibly) from the dream that remained irremediably behind me. I don’t know if I even closed a door behind me, I think I did; in fact a separation was established between what had already been dreamed (perfect, spherical, finished) and the present. But I kept on sleeping, that business of expulsion and the door closing I also dreamed. A single and terrible certainty dominated that instant of transition within the dream; to know that irremediably that expulsion brought with it the complete forgetting of the previous marvel. I suppose that the feeling of a door closing was just that, fateful and instantaneous forgetting. The most startling is remembering also having dreamed that I was forgetting the previous dream, and that that dream had to be forgotten (my expulsion from its finished sphere).
Hopscotch: A Novel (Pantheon Modern Writers Series) Page 52