Blue Colla Make Ya Holla

by Laramie Briscoe

  “You look nice,” she says, pressing her hands against my chest. “I like how your shirts are always tight.”

  “Don’t get me hard before we see your dad.”

  “Mom will be there too.”

  “Yeah, but I’m good with moms. I have trouble with dads. One of my ex-girlfriend’s dad chased me with a bat.”

  “Why?”

  I kiss her forehead and grin. “Let’s just say I don’t always think before I speak.”

  Smiling, Meredith wants to say something sarcastic, but she doesn’t. I appreciate her holding her tongue even if I can’t.

  We take Meredith’s little SUV to the country club golf course. During the drive, I sit back and practice being quiet. Meredith laughs twice on the way, finding my silence entertaining.

  The guard at the country club’s front gate recognizes Meredith. He gives me a curt nod then lets us through.

  “Did you ever take Sandy Schmuck’s last name?” I ask after the guard refers to her as Ms. Gordon.

  “No. I told Sandy I wanted to keep my father’s name. Maybe I just knew we wouldn’t last and didn’t want to change my name back and forth. I’m starting to wonder if I always knew our relationship was doomed.”

  Wrapping my fingers around her free hand, I grin. “You just didn’t want to be Meredith Moon, huh?”

  “Well there was that.”

  “Doctor Moon will see you now,” I tease and Meredith’s grin widens.

  “Are you done with the silent act?”

  “Can’t be sure. I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

  She pulls the SUV to the front of the main building and a valet opens her door. I watch her casually slide a twenty into the guy’s hand. Meredith is in her element and I feel like her fucking employee.

  Her beautiful smile quickly yanks me from my grumpiness. When Meredith rests her hands on my forearms the ways she does during sex, my body lights up from her touch.

  “I know today won’t be as fun as the night on your bike, but please be open to the experience. For my family, golfing isn’t about the game. It’s about spending time together outside.”

  “You could go camping.”

  “We do.”

  “That Richie Rich kind of camping, right?”

  “Still counts,” she says, lifting on her toes to kiss my cheek. “Let’s go find Mom and Dad.”

  Meredith takes my hand and leads me into the decorative building. We pass the dining room full of the whitest people I’ve ever seen and I come from a long line of Irish folks who can’t tan. On our way out the back doors, I spot more diversity and feel less like the odd man out.

  “Stop judging,” Meredith whispers as we stand on the back deck. “I went into your club with respect. Do the same for mine.”

  “I’ll try, but my club’s still cooler.”

  Meredith wraps me in her arms and smiles so sweetly up at me. “Your club might have bigger balls, but mine has bigger bank accounts.”

  Grinning, I kiss her with a bit too much heat. Tempting fate, I pay the price by having her parents arrive as I’m sucking on their daughter’s lips.

  Steve and Leslie Gordon give me big smiles. Like most lawyers, they lie well. I don’t know if I fake my smile as well. Steve is a handsome guy with the same blue eyes as his daughter. Leslie gave the girls the rest of their looks. I just pretend I’m looking at Meredith and my mood improves.

  After Bethany and her boyfriend the Dentist join us, we drive golf carts to the first hole. Meredith rides with me while the Dentist drives.

  “Meredith isn’t good at golf,” Bethany assures me from the front seat. “Don’t worry about making a fool of yourself.”

  “Thanks, Beth,” Meredith deadpans. “You always have something sweet to say.”

  Grinning at her sister, Bethany leans over and whispers something to the Dentist. He laughs in a way that makes me never want him to work on my teeth.

  “Ignore them,” Meredith says, leaning her head against my arm. “It’s not about the game. Dad is awful and he knows it.”

  “I might not suck at golf.”

  “I didn’t bring you here to wow us with your athleticism. I want you to spend time with my family so they could get to know the man I love.”

  We said the words for the first time last night. No big moment for the declarations. I said the words while we fucked. She said them back. Later, she smacked me on the ass while we made popcorn. When I turned to tickle her, she said she loved me. I said she was the only woman I ever wanted. Then we ate popcorn and returned to bed.

  Now I worry our easy relationship will hit the family sized speed bumps. “What if they think I’m a piece of a shit?”

  “If I needed their approval, I would have brought you here before we got together.”

  “You’re a rebel.”

  Meredith holds my hand and her touch relaxes me. I know she will never ditch me with her family. On the third hole, Meredith proves me wrong.

  Somehow, I end up stuck with Steve Gordon who watches me from behind his mirrored glasses.

  After a few minutes of awkward silence, he asks, “Have you ever been to jail?”

  “No. Have you?”

  Steve sizes me up then sighs. “Actually, I have. Back in college, I was arrested for protesting animal exploitation.”

  I cock an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t figure you as the animal rights kind of guy.”

  “Oh, I’m not. I was looking to get in the pants of a redhead named Pam.”

  “Did you?” I ask, struggling against a grin.

  “Yeah, but she was more trouble than I could handle. In college, I spent a lot of time with those outraged social types. I wanted the passion they had, but I hated the self-important crap they spewed. I also wanted a woman who wore deodorant.”

  Smiling now, I nod. “I know a few people who think deodorant is optional. It’s really not.”

  “No, but people are odd.”

  “So you decided to give up on the passionate activist women?”

  “No. I just found one whose activism I genuinely supported. Leslie is involved in many charities. She used her law degree to help those less fortunate too. She had all the things those other women had plus she’s very hygienic.”

  Laughing, I never expected to find any common ground with Meredith’s dad. Steve proves to be an ordinary guy and we end up talking baseball. Nearby, Meredith and Leslie whisper about me.

  “Meredith cares about you. If you’re looking for a fun, easy time, she might not be the woman to have that with. She tends to get attached.”

  “I love Meredith. It’d break my damn heart if she wasn’t attached.”

  Steve sighs like he’s relieved, surprising me again. “Meredith wasted a lot of time with Sandy. She tried being impulsive as a teenager. Once she went to college though, she studied and worked hard. No goofing off. No letting loose. She and Sandy were the dullest couple I’d ever spent time with and I have a friend who falls asleep in the middle of conversations.”

  Studying Steve, I can’t keep myself from saying the words. “You’re not what I expected.”

  “I know the feeling. Bethany made you sound like a thug. I don’t know why I listen to that child anymore. I don’t think she’s told the truth in twenty years.”

  Grinning, I look at Meredith peeking back at us. “Do you think she’s really over Sandy?”

  “I honestly don’t believe she was ever in love with him. He simply fit her image of life. I doubt any of it was personal from her perspective.”

  I smile at Meredith who grins back at me. Even falling in love with her, I didn’t understand how I could fit into her world. Hell, I figured her parents might disown her if she married me. All that negative shit wasn’t even close to being on target.

  “You ought to invite your brother to join us sometime,” Steve says as we return to the clubhouse. “I’ve made a lot of contacts here over the years. I’d imagine a businessman like him could make some too. I always hear people talking about
renovating their homes. Why not tap into that market?”

  Smiling like I’ve known this guy forever, I nod. “I’ll let him know.”

  Steve puts on his fake grin and gestures hello to someone. I glance back at Meredith and Bethany who are both eyeing me in a weird way.

  “Had to happen eventually,” Steve says to me then looks at the guy. “Sandy, this is Winston. He and Meredith are together.”

  Sandy shakes my hand limply. He’s completely unthreatening. Based on the dull expression on his completely unremarkable face, I doubt he cares about seeing his ex-wife with another man. He doesn’t want her. Doesn’t care if I have her.

  I hate him though. I hate that he ever saw my woman naked or touched her body. I want to rip off his fucking face for waking up next to Meredith for so many years. The guy is nobody, yet I need to crush him to make my claim.

  Shoving my hands into my pockets, I keep from punching the guy. Meredith appears next to me, says hi to Sandy, and wraps an arm through mine.

  “Let’s go eat.”

  Walking into the clubhouse, I remain grumpy. I want Sandy dead for no damn reason besides Meredith should know no other man except me. I’m fully aware I’m being an idiot. Even so, I make the decision not to mention my ex-girlfriends again. If I say nothing about my past, maybe she won’t mention Sandy and I won’t need to go homicidal.

  “You should key his car,” Bethany says, sitting at the table with us. “Ooh, let’s teepee his house.”

  “No revenge,” Meredith mutters, dismissively waving a hand at her little sister. “Had he not dumped me, I wouldn’t be here with Winston. If anything, Sandy deserves a gift basket.”

  Taking Meredith’s hand, I pull her outside. She smiles even though I’m freaking her out. This trait is just another thing I love about her.

  “I need you to be brave,” I say when we’re alone under a big oak tree.

  Meredith opens her mouth to speak then decides to stay silent.

  Cupping her face, I stare into the eyes of my dream woman.

  “I love you. I don’t care that it’s happened fast. I don’t care if you and I come from different worlds. None of that means anything to me. I just know that since I saw you in the bar that I can’t get enough. It’s not lust. It’s not sex. It’s everything. I want to see you every day. I want to come home to you. I want to know what you’re thinking and what you’re doing and how you’re feeling. I want that and I’ve never wanted that before. I don’t need to date for months or years to know you’re the one for me, Meredith. I love you and that’s that.”

  Smiling, she grips my hands. “I love you too. I try to convince myself that it’s an exciting phase, but I can’t imagine losing you. In fact, I tried to imagine that the other day at work and I cried like a baby. I haven’t cried in years. I didn’t cry when Sandy dumped me, but I sobbed like a baby when I thought of losing you. That’s not lust.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  “It’s love.”

  “It’s fate. I look at you and see my future. I see kids and vacations and stuff I never saw for me. Not in a real way. With you, it’s so damn real I can reach out and touch it.”

  I caress her face and Meredith leans into my embrace. “I never believed in fate until I met you.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Meredith

  Death Stare

  ‡

  Today at brunch, Winston plans to break the news to his family about moving into my place. He wakes up nervous in a way only a lot of fucking can calm. Even after spending hours inside me, he remains edgy when we drive to his mom’s house.

  “You think they won’t like me.”

  Winston grips the steering wheel. “No. I think they’ll ask too many questions and get pushy. I’m not in the mood.”

  “You’re afraid they’ll disagree with you moving in.”

  “I’m not afraid of anything,” he grumbles.

  I shouldn’t laugh, but I do. He’s behaving like a little boy waiting for his parents to get home and punish him.

  “We’ll drop the big stuff on them as we’re about to leave. Give them no chance to frighten you with their questions.”

  Winston glares at me until I laugh again. He finally shakes his head and grins.

  “I was so sure your family would be the end of us. Figured they’d make you stop seeing me and I’d lose you.”

  “Make me? I’m nearly thirty. No one makes me do anything besides the government and the voices in my head.”

  Winston smiles wider, yet he remains tense as we pull into the driveway of his mom’s bi-level. Before we walk inside, I tug him against me and inhale his clean scent.

  “You need to settle down. I don’t want your family to think I’m a bad influence on you.”

  Holding my face in his rough hands, Winston looks like he’s ready to smash something.

  “I had a moment yesterday at the country club where I saw our future. I don’t want anything ruining that.”

  “The only people with the power to ruin what we have are standing right here. I know I’m not giving you up. That only leaves you.”

  His blue eyes still anxious, Winston nods. “I’ve had women come and go. It never bothered me when things were over. With you, I get so fucking freaked when I even think of losing you.”

  “Then don’t lose me.”

  “That simple?”

  “Well it certainly isn’t complicated.”

  Winston kisses me gently then smiles and kisses me until I can’t breathe. His body relaxes in my embrace and I relish having such power. Knowing how to soothe the man I love feels magical. I’m still floating when we walk into his mom’s house where chaos awaits.

  Judith gives me the evil eye, sizing me up coldly. I simply smile at her because I don’t care if she hates me. I’m marrying her son and she’ll have to deal with this fact. Winston hasn’t asked me yet, but I know he will. This meeting with his family is the last step before he pops the question.

  “I like her,” Judith announces suddenly. “I gave her my death stare and she didn’t back down. She didn’t freak out either. She’s a keeper.”

  With this proclamation, I’m part of the family in everyone’s eyes. Kemp and Boyle welcome me. Mira and Heather promise to show me the ropes. I meet all the nieces and nephews who have absolutely no interest in me. Through all the introductions, Winston relaxes a little more until he’s the guy I know and love.

  Epilogue

  Winston

  Saying the Words

  ‡

  On a balmy evening, Meredith and I ride my Harley on the roads past the farms until we reach the spot where I knew she was the one. This time she isn’t wearing a pink gumball helmet, but a better fitting orange one.

  After I park the bike on the side of the empty road, Meredith climbs off and removes her helmet. The wind blows her blonde hair across her beautiful face and I’m again struck by the luck of our meeting after so many years. How different my life would be right this moment if I hadn’t gone to Pete’s Stinky Dive.

  Standing on this road, I don’t know what to say. Can’t think of the words to express how I feel. The ones I grab for sound sappy and wrong in my head. When I stare at her for too long, Meredith smiles and I finally understand how words aren’t necessary.

  Kneeling down, I remove the ring box from my pocket and open it. Meredith looks so calm as if she always knew. Her smile feels rather anticlimactic after how nervous I’ve been. Suddenly, she giggles then covers her mouth.

  “Sorry,” she says, looking like she’ll jump up and down soon.

  “No, that’s a sexy look on you.”

  “Are you going to ask or can I just say yes now?”

  “Will you marry me?”

  Giving into her urge, Meredith bounces around laughing before dropping to her knees and hugging me.

  “Yes,” she says, kissing me. “The sooner, the better.”

  Meredith isn’t kidding. She pulls strings at the country club, makes a million
calls, and designs a quickie wedding that looks like something out of a damn magazine. I don’t feel out of place since she uses the colors of my club as inspiration. She makes sure to include my family and friends in the ceremony, making it a perfect blend between her world and mine.

  Meredith is never more beautiful than when walking down the aisle wearing a big grin. Her smile promises we’ll have one helluva life together.

  After our quickie relationship leading to the altar, I still have a lot to learn about Meredith. My brother even warns me that those little surprises might be deal breakers. Instead, they prove we’re perfect together.

  I’m not the kind of guy who worries about bills and financial crap. Meredith loves keeping track of those things. She has spreadsheets and electronic reminders to ensure everything remains paid.

  When our three kids come along, Meredith is just as organized. The babies are born early in our marriage with only sixteen months between each of them. Most days, Meredith has no trouble juggling our new family and her career. As they get older though, she gets overwhelmed at times with the chaos. Daddy to the rescue. I love the wild times, barely hearing most of the noise after so many years with my nieces and nephews. My three aren’t nearly as loud when I take them to playgrounds or Grammy’s house to allow Mom a break. Those nights when I return with the kids, we find a recharged Meredith. She laughs more at the kids’ shenanigans. She also thanks me in very energetic ways once the kids are asleep.

  Unlike my ex-girlfriends, Meredith never makes me feel like a hero by saving her from the simple things in life. I’m a hero just by making her laugh with one of my throwaway comments, by caring for our children, or by making her toes curl. She doesn’t need saving. No, Meredith just needs me.

  Epilogue

  Meredith

  How It All Ends

  ‡

  Winston’s nerves remain unsettled until our honeymoon in New Orleans. I’ll never understand why he thought I might run, but he finally accepts I’m right where I want to be. Our week in the Big Easy is the epitome of decadence. We do nothing except eat, drink, and fuck. The one time we attempt a walking tour, we end up stopping for catfish and ending up back in bed at the hotel.