I was human.
Chapter 14
“Please say something,” Gabe implored, kneeling down in front of me.
“I think you can call your friend Hanson and tell him we don’t need the manifest anymore,” I said, my voice empty and hollow. It was the first thing that popped into my mind, so out it came. Inappropriate? Yes. True? Also yes.
“Are you saying—”
“That I was on that plane that crashed?” I said, finishing his question for him. “Yes. I was.”
“Holy shit, Phira.”
Panic shot through my body, and I tried to get up. Gabe sprang to his feet in an instant to help me, but it was no use. My body was too numb to work. Seeing the futility in trying to make me walk, Gabe crouched down in front of me.
“But…it crashed somewhere outside of Chicago…”
“Yeah. It did.”
“Then how did you end up here?”
“I’m still not entirely certain about that.” It wasn’t a lie—at least not in the fullest sense of the word. The last thing I remembered before waking up in Iowa was being ripped away in a swirling tornado of darkness. Somehow I didn’t think telling Gabe that was going to be especially helpful.
“So you really weren’t attacked,” he said, the shame in his voice plain as could be. “I’m so sorry I ever doubted you.” I barely even heard his apology. My mind was too busy processing everything.
Then I thought of the aftermath of the crash and nearly hyperventilated. I’d been looking for my brothers with TS.
And we hadn’t found them.
“Nico,” I said softly, my lip quivering as his name escaped.
“Who is he, Phira?”
“Alek…”
“Who are they? Do we need to find them?”
“They’re my brothers. We’re triplets,” I told him as I stared blankly at the floor. “I never found them after we crashed.”
“You remember it? The crash?”
I nodded.
“Jesus Christ,” he exclaimed, plopping down onto the floor beside me. “How in God’s name did you survive that, Phira?” He paused for a moment, taking my hand in his. “It should have killed you.”
Because I’m immortal, I thought. Then I remembered the past tense of that observation.
“I don’t know.”
“We need to find them…call them,” he said, shooting up to his feet, heading for the door.
“I just…I need a minute, Gabe.”
“For what? They need to know you’re alive, Phira. They’re probably worried sick.”
“Just give me a second,” I snapped, dropping my head into my hands. “My family is complicated, okay? I need to figure out how to handle this.”
I looked up to find him staring at me, his dark eyes narrowed. Though I wasn’t certain, I’d have bet a hefty sum of money that he was reliving my Nico outburst in his mind, wondering exactly how and why my family was complicated. It didn't appear that he liked the possibilities.
“Complicated how?”
“Just complicated. You wouldn’t understand, trust me.” I sighed heavily. “Please, go get your mom ready for bed while I sort this all out. I need to wrap my head around a few things before I do anything.”
“My mom is fine, Phira. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“You don’t need to worry about me,” I countered, my tone a little too curt.
“Whether you want me to or not, I still do, and you getting heated with me isn’t going to change that, even if you want it to.”
“I’m not helpless,” I argued.
“Didn’t say you were.”
“Then stop hovering over me and go take care of your mom. She’s the one that needs help, Gabe, not me.”
His expression softened for a second, exposing just how vulnerable he was in that moment.
“We all need help sometimes, Phira. There’s no shame in taking it.”
“Says the boy who runs an entire farm by himself. I bet you can’t remember the last time you let someone help you. And I’m not talking about Cheryl. I'm sure she’s more than happy to help you out however and whenever she can.”
The second those salacious words left my mouth, I wished I could take them back. But old habits die hard, and it seemed that with the return of my memory came the return of my defense mechanisms. Everything I had feared in those few short days had come to pass.
The bitch was back.
By the time I realized just how hurtful my words had been, Gabe had given me a tight nod and stood up to go and collect his mother. The he disappeared with her up the stairs. I wanted to scream but I stopped myself, fearing what would happen if I unleashed my anger. Then I remembered that it wouldn’t matter—nothing would happen.
So I did.
The shrill sound of my wailing echoed through the room, up the stairs, and undoubtedly filled the second floor with the haunting sound of my grief, my frustration, and my self-loathing. I hadn’t missed the latter while at Gabe’s.
It made me wish for my amnesia to return.
Once my anger was purged, I sat on the floor and wondered about what to do next. The thought that the boys hadn’t found me yet made me uneasy. I wanted to think that they had survived the crash as TS and I had, but that niggling doubt in the back of my restored mind would not be denied. As much as I wanted to stay and live a life of human bliss, free of the oppression I faced at home, I knew I couldn’t. I would never have been able to live with myself not knowing for sure if the boys had survived. Knowing that my family would never stop searching for me.
But would they find me if I were human?
I tried to push that thought out of my brain, but my selfishness wouldn’t allow it. The bitch wanted to explore that idea further.
“No,” I said aloud to myself. “I can’t. I just can't.”
I knew I had to find out what had happened to them, and I could think of only one person to contact that would give me that information without giving me up—at least not right away. If my father didn’t already know of what had happened, I couldn't call him for fear of getting my brothers—providing they were alive—in trouble. But I didn’t dare call them directly either. They would track me so fast my head would spin, then drag me away from Gabe’s farm without so much as a backward glance. Worst of all, I didn’t know what they’d do to Gabe, and I couldn’t have that.
Nico was just too unpredictable.
No, I needed to call the happy medium and pray that he would do what he did best and temper the situation. I knew he was alive. I’d seen him on TV only hours earlier.
I pulled myself up on the piano bench and hopped across the room to the far wall. Using it to help me limp along, I found my crutches and propped myself up on them. Just as I was about to exit the piano room, I looked back at the rocking chair Gabe’s mother normally occupied.
“Soon you and I are going to have a little chat,” I muttered under my breath. Then I made my way to the kitchen.
The second I’d realized my powers were gone, it had dawned on me that Gabe’s mother was clearly more than she appeared to be. When the supernatural isn’t on your radar, there’s no reason why you’d think she was anything more than Gabe said she was: a traumatized widow, who broke when she witnessed the death of her family. A woman with a history of mental illness. But with the realization that there is more in the world than humans are aware of, Gabe's mother became far more suspicious. I knew in my heart that she wasn’t human. The question that remained unanswered was: what in the hell was she? And I had every intention of finding out.
Right after I confirmed my brothers were alive. Until that fact was known, Crazypants in her rocking chair wasn’t my top priority.
I grabbed the phone out of the cradle and stuck it in my pocket. Still nervous about what would happen to Gabe, I climbed the staircase to my temporary room and closed the door. I pulled the phone out of my pocket and stared at it, then said a little prayer. I needed my plan to work. I needed TS to see reason. He
was my only chance of resolving things calmly and quietly. But in the wake of my disappearance, I wondered if even his emotions would be running too high to make that possible.
With sweaty palms, I punched his number into the phone and waited for it to ring. If he refused to do as I asked, shit was about to get serious in a hot hurry. The PC’s job was to maintain the balance between the human and supernatural worlds at all costs.
I just hoped Gabe wouldn’t be the one to pay the ultimate price.
Chapter 15
The phone rang and rang until I thought for sure I would be sent to voicemail. But at the last second, a familiar voice came through. My eyes filled with tears at the sound of him.
“Yes?” he asked, his tone more gruff than I remembered.
“TS? It’s—”
“Phira...” he whispered, as though he couldn’t believe I was alive.
“Are they okay? My brothers? Tell me they’re all right.”
“They are fine. I found them after you—” he started to explain before cutting himself off. He paused for a moment, the silence on the line thick and heavy. “After you were taken.”
“I’m so sorry. I tried to hold on—”
“Where are you?”
“Iowa. But I’ll explain that in a moment. First I need you to listen to me, okay?”
“We’re coming to get you.”
“NO! I need you to stay where you are for right now. Something isn’t right here. I need to figure out what it is.”
“You need us, Phira. It’s a wonder you haven’t overloaded in our time apart.”
I sighed.
“About that,” I said, trying to figure out how best to explain something I didn’t fully understand myself. When I didn't come up with a good plan, I just blurted out the truth. “My powers are gone.”
Silence.
“Gone? What do you mean, gone?”
“There’s a reason why you’re just now hearing from me, TS. Didn’t you wonder that?”
“Yes, but I thought it best to leave that be for now, in case my interrogation upset you.”
“I haven’t called because I didn’t know who to call.”
“I don’t understand,” he replied, confusion plain in his tone. “Who else would you call? Your father? Your mother?”
“No, that’s not what I mean. It’s not that I didn’t know who to turn to, it’s that I didn’t remember anything. Not you, not my brothers, not even me. I literally stood in front of a mirror and didn’t recognize myself, TS. It was a total mindfuck. I’ve spent the past few days on this farm in Iowa, trying to heal and remember anything I could that would give me a hint as to who I was.”
“Healing from what?” he asked.
“I don’t know exactly, but I buggered up my ankle somehow. I can barely walk.”
“You should have healed by now,” he said, his voice trailing off at the end as if the realization that my powers really were gone had just dawned upon him.
“I know that now.”
“This makes no sense.”
“Yeah, I know, and yet here I am, powerless on a farm in the middle of Iowa.”
“Phira, we need to come out immediately. Do me the courtesy of not making me hunt you down and just tell me where you are.”
“I will, but I need you to promise me something first.” My words were met with silence. I took that as my cue to make my demand. “I need you to buy me some time. I want to talk to someone first. I think I can find out what we’re dealing with before you get here.”
His lack of immediate argument made me nervous. More nervous than it should have. TS always had a way of reading between the lines when it came to me.
“You don’t want to leave.” It was a statement, not a question.
“It’s complicated,” I sighed, looking out the window to the barn where Gabe was brushing Jinx. “It’s just…I’ve felt so free here—so happy. I know that was in part due to not remembering who and what I am, but even once I regained my memory…I can’t begin to tell you how good it feels to not be plagued by a darkness that no one around you understands. To not war with that part of you that claws and claws to escape. Here I can forget all of that. I can start over.”
“And you would give up everyone that loves you to do that?” he asked, his voice soft and sad.
“I called you, didn’t I?” He didn’t reply. “Yes, I want that life, selfish though it may be. But I couldn’t stand the thought of never knowing whether Alek and Nico had survived. And deep down, I knew that my father would never accept my disappearance until he’d seen my corpse with his own eyes. He’d never stop searching. You know that as well as I do.” I paused for a moment, allowing the tears that I could no longer withhold to fall freely down my face. “I’ve caused them so much pain, TS. More pain than I can ever apologize for.”
“That is not your fault, Phira,” he said, understanding and sympathy in his voice.
“And you…” I started, choking back a sob. “I’m so sorry for everything I’ve said or done to hurt you. I swear that wasn’t me. That I’m not that horrid.”
“Phira, you don’t—”
“No, I do!” I shouted, no longer able to maintain my composure. “I don’t know how I can make it up to any of you, and that guilt is eating me up inside. So yes, I like the freedom and peace I’ve found here, but even more than that, I love that I can hide from any reminder of that wretched bitch I used to be. I can choose to be someone else.”
He started to reply, then cut himself off. In the background I could hear voices talking to him. After a minute or so, he returned to our call.
“I must go now, but hear me when I say this. You are loved, Sapphira. Loved by many. I will give you what you’ve asked me for, but in turn you will tell me where you are.”
“Huskers Grove, Iowa,” I whispered.
“You have until sunrise. That is the best I can offer.”
“Thank you, TS.”
Silence.
“I will see you soon.”
He hung up before I could say anything in return.
Sunrise didn’t give me much time to find the answers I needed, but it was better than the cavalry showing up seconds after I gave myself up, so I took it. Knowing that Nico would go ballistic when he found out that TS knew where I was and hadn’t taken them to me immediately, I needed to have something to show for it, if not to save my own ass, then at least to save TS’.
With that thought in mind, I made my way through the piano room to find the mysterious woman who usually inhabited it. She and I were going to have a little chat. And I wasn’t leaving until I had what I wanted.
Answers.
Chapter 16
Unfortunately for me, those answers would have to wait a little longer.
It was late, and Gabe’s mother was sound asleep in her room. I knew that trying to wake her up would have woken Gabe too, and there was no good way for that situation to end. Instead, I went to my room and sat down on the bed, but the second I did, I knew there was no point in trying to sleep. My racing mind would never have allowed it. Rather than wasting time, I made my way outside, wanting to take in what I would soon be missing: the backdrop to my could-have-been-normal life.
I made my way to the barn to say goodbye to Jinx. The horse had moxie, and I respected him for it. He didn’t take shit from anyone. That was something I admired.
The barn door creaked in protest as I swung it open, the moonlight from outside all I had to light my way. Thankfully it was enough. I tried my best to be stealthy in my approach, but the horse easily heard me and snorted, sticking his massive head out over his stall door.
“Hey, buddy,” I said, stroking his face. “I have to go soon. I just wanted to say goodbye…and thanks. And no hard feelings about the creek, either. That wasn’t really your fault.”
He nuzzled me with his nose and I hugged his head, kissing him lightly before I turned to leave. Tears threatened to escape, so I spun around on my good foot and headed out. Jinx whi
nnied at me, apparently not satisfied with our time together, but I had to go.
Once outside, I made my way down toward the creek bed. I didn’t fully know why, but I just felt I needed to see where my life had nearly come to an end. To see if there was any clue as to what had attacked me there. The events leading up to my arrival in Iowa, the near-drowning in the creek, and Gabe’s mother were coming into focus insofar as I knew they were supernaturally related, but I couldn’t make sense of them together. I needed to make the pieces fit somehow.
Standing on the edge of the creek, I just stared at the running water, the moon’s reflection dancing wildly in it. I knew I’d heard a voice when I was close to death. Without my awareness of what really existed in the world at the time, there was no way for me to know that what I’d heard was anything other than the pull of death. The reaper coming to claim me. But with my restored knowledge of all things that go bump in the night, I knew I was dealing with something else entirely. Something ominous. Something evil.
Something that was decidedly after me, but for no reason that I could fathom.
I wanted to taunt it. To call it out. To make it show itself to me so that I’d know what I was dealing with, but rational thought prevailed for once. I was human. I was powerless. All I’d be doing was summoning death’s minion to take me away.
And without the darkness within me needing to be silenced for good, I wasn’t so sure that I was ready to die. Clearly I wasn’t a threat to those around me in my current condition. Humanity really made me appreciate my immortality.
“You have no idea what’s coming for you,” I muttered under my breath before turning to head back to the house. As I walked along, I could see that clouds were rolling in, blocking out the moonlight that illuminated my path. I looked back over my shoulder to see a blackness so deep that my mind had difficulty understanding it coming at me from the west.
Live Wire (Blue-Eyed Bomb #1) Page 15