by Megan Besing
She parted her red lips. A breeze from the open door blew a wisp of her hair in front of her eyes. She brushed it away.
He reached for her. Drew her close. Leaned in for a kiss.
“Nora?”
Something crashed outside.
He released her, and she turned and dashed for the house.
What had he almost done? Had he lost his senses?
Nora held her skirts and raced from the barn toward the house, her head whirring as she ran. Had he almost kissed her?
Had she wanted him to?
Those thoughts fled when she reached the porch. Maude lay crumpled on the top step, sweating and shaking all over.
God, forgive me for leaving her. And for all my unkind thoughts about her.
Nora scurried up the stairs to her stepsister. “Maude, oh, what are you doing out here?”
“Help me.”
Josiah skidded to a stop beside them. “Maude, you should be in bed. Let’s get you back there.” He nodded to Nora. “I’ll grab her under one arm. You take her by the other.”
Together, they managed to pull Maude to her feet.
“I don’t know if I can make it. I’m so weak.” Maude’s face was an uncharacteristic shade of white.
“We’ll get you there. I’m so sorry I didn’t answer the bell. I should have never left the house.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” The fever hadn’t affected Maude’s tongue.
“Now that we have her up, I can take her.” Josiah swept Maude into his arms and carried her through the house to the bedroom.
Nora followed. “Thank you. I couldn’t have done this on my own. This is how I know what I said in the barn is true.”
He flushed and then stepped back. “You’d better get her settled. I’ll make sure Charles and William are behaving themselves. Think I’ll take out the cart and pony. A drive around the farm will do them some good. That way, we can check on the cotton and keep them out of trouble. If you need anything, send one of the sharecroppers for me.”
She touched his hand, his skin warm to the touch. “That would be very welcome. Don’t let the boys run roughshod over you.”
“I have two pennies in my pocket.” He winked at her.
She went soft in the knees and steadied herself against the footboard.
“Are you going to help me?”
Nora returned her attention to Maude and got her situated under the covers.
“Why didn’t you answer the bell?”
“I was in the barn.” She suppressed a giggle. Was it from nervousness or happiness? Who could tell? Her insides were as mixed up as cake batter.
“What were you doing out there? We need you in here. Get me a glass of water. I’m parched.”
Once she had given Maude her drink and checked on the other patients, Nora returned to the kitchen to prepare the broth. As she strained out the chicken bones, the onions, carrot tops, and celery bottoms, she stared out the window. Her stomach danced as Josiah rode into view astride his gleaming black stallion, following the pony cart Charles was driving.
What the poor man must have suffered. She’d sat with Richard at the hospital in Richmond as his life ebbed away, brought water to the other men in agony, read to those well enough to sit for a while. Even though years had passed, the odors of blood and decay and death filled her nostrils, a smell she would never forget. Nor the screams and moans of the injured and dying men.
She shook off the memories, set the pot aside, and wandered to the window in the front room. Josiah and the boys made their way toward the fields, cotton balls now puffing out from the green plants. She leaned against the cool glass, her head aching.
Josiah. The jester. J. M. What was she going to do about them? J. M. was as good as a ghost. Maybe he didn’t even exist. And the jester? She’d never see him again.
But Josiah was right here. More real than either of the others. She sighed and hugged herself. Could she be falling in love with him? A small laugh burst from her lips. Yes, she might be.
If only Maude hadn’t interrupted their kiss.
Chapter 10
The oppressive Sunday summer afternoon heat bore down on Nora. For over a week, she’d been cooped up in the house, afraid to leave, only doing so to make brief trips to the privy. She’d neglected Maude once, and look what happened.
The fevers all broke, and the family was on the mend. It would have been nice to go to church this morning, but she didn’t dare leave. The moment she did, something was sure to happen.
But maybe she could enjoy a Sabbath’s rest. She wandered onto the porch and sat in the rocker overlooking the ripening cotton, the plants’ leaves dying back. Soon the sharecroppers would be picking it, their dark faces shining with sweat, their songs rising and filling the air.
Her favorite time of the year. The rhythm of it moved something in her soul. Made her come alive.
A slight breeze stirred the leaves of the rosebushes along the porch rail, and she sat back in the chair with a sigh. Maybe she could close her eyes, just for a moment.
Boots clomping across the porch startled her awake. She bolted upright. Josiah stood over her, his dark brown hair parted on one side and slicked back, a grin traversing the whole of his face. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”
She covered her yawn. “Oh my, I must have dozed off. I only meant to sit for a minute.” In front of her, his horse stood hooked to his buggy, the fringe top pulled down. “I didn’t know you had such a beautiful rig.”
“Mostly I don’t bother with it. Doesn’t seem to be many occasions for me to have it out, since I’d be the only one in it.”
“What’s the special event that made you bring it?”
“I’ve come to take you for a ride.”
At his announcement, she trembled. What did he mean by the offer? Had he come courting?
“I figure that you’ve been in the house long enough and you must be ready to get out for a while.”
Oh. He felt sorry for her. “If only I could. Everyone is napping, but they might need me. They still aren’t fully recovered.”
“Recovered enough for you to take a break.”
The infernal bell rang. Nora shrugged. “See what I mean?”
Josiah strode into the house. She jumped up to follow him. Without missing a beat, he marched right into Wade and Maude’s bedroom, not even bothering to knock. He grabbed the small brass bell from the bedside table and chucked it out the window.
Maude and Nora both gasped. Wade sat up in the bed, wide-eyed.
“How could you do something like that? How am I to call Nora when I need her?” Maude stared narrow-eyed at Josiah.
He clenched and unclenched his fists. “Ever since you took sick, you’ve been running Nora ragged. She’s done a wonderful job caring for you and Wade and the children. She deserves a bit of rest before she comes down with the fever herself. Then who would look after you?”
Maude’s mouth opened and shut like that of a fish.
“Precisely. Now, since it’s a rather warm day, I’m taking Nora out for a breath of fresh air. We’ll be back in a few hours. You can fend for yourselves for that amount of time.”
Wade nodded. “She’s done enough for us. She deserves some fun.”
Maude shot her narrow-eyed gaze at her husband. “Hush up, Wade. I’m not taking care of those kids.”
Josiah grabbed Nora by the elbow and led her from the room. “We’ll make our escape while we can.” He chuckled, the sound as soothing as a low rumble of thunder on a steamy summer day.
Once outside, he helped her into the buggy, his hand strong and firm in hers. Richard’s had been soft, like a woman’s. This was better. Much better. Josiah knew the value of hard work.
He climbed in beside her and clucked to the horse. The breeze the movement generated washed over Nora’s warm face. “Ah, that feels good.”
“Nothing better for cooling off, unless you jump in the creek. And you don’t seem to be the kind of lady who would do such a
thing.” The color in his cheeks heightened.
“I used to sneak out of the house and from under Mammy’s nose when I was little and run to the brook behind the house. My brother and I would catch tadpoles and minnows.” She pressed her middle.
“I didn’t know you had a brother.”
“He died when he was thirteen.”
“I’m so sorry. Is that why you came out here as a mail-order bride?”
“Daddy’s gone, and my husband, too. The war cost us everything.”
“And there I go again, nosing into business that isn’t mine. My apologies.”
Richard would never have apologized for anything. In almost every way, Josiah was her late husband’s opposite. She touched his hand. “Thank you, but you have nothing to be sorry for.”
Nora squeezed Josiah’s hand, sending tingling shivers up and down his arm. Even after she knew about his leg, she didn’t treat him different than everyone else. Susanna hadn’t been able to do that. No one had. “Well, I’m still sorry. I know how it is to have people pry into your private life.”
“But friends can.” She sat back. “When I first came, I didn’t like this wide-open space at all. But I’m getting used to it. I’m finding the beauty here.”
“You should see it when the bluebonnets bloom in the spring. A carpet of purply blue as far as the eye can see.”
“Sounds spectacular.”
“It’s a sight to behold.”
“Thank you for coming to my rescue with Maude.”
“She doesn’t treat you well.”
“But I owe them. They took me in when I had nowhere else to go.”
He bit his lip. That was his fault. He’d put in her a position where she was forced to live with that woman. Should he tell her his true identity? Could he do it?
What point was there? He couldn’t marry her. Couldn’t allow her to see him as he truly was. She might not have bolted when he told her he lost his leg. It was another thing to see him without it, hobbling around.
And if he told her the truth of his identity, she would hate him. He couldn’t bear not having her in his life.
That sounded like love.
He peered at her, her eyes gleaming as the two of them raced over the prairie, her cheeks flushed, a smile curving her lips.
So beautiful.
And then the reins in his hands jerked. Rosco reared. He came down and bolted. Josiah pulled back with all his strength. His horse refused to slow.
Nora screamed, covered her mouth with one hand, and clung to the edge of the seat with the other.
As he tugged at the reins, sweat poured down his face, stinging his eyes. His muscles cried for him to let up.
The buggy bumped over a rock and tilted to one side. “Lord, keep us upright.”
With another bump, they righted. Beside him, Nora laughed, but not a chuckle of glee. More a strangled tittering. Her nervous chuckle.
Nothing but open road lay before them. As long as they didn’t hit too many ruts or rocks, the best course of action might be to let Rosco have his head. Josiah loosened his hold on the reins. “Hang on.”
“What are you doing?”
“Letting him run himself out.”
She slid to his side and grasped his bicep with a death grip. “Are we going to crash?” She breathed hard.
“Trust me. We’ll be fine.”
She nodded but didn’t let go of him. He had to protect her.
After a good gallop, Rosco, now lathered, slowed. This time when Josiah pulled back, the horse responded and stopped.
Josiah dropped the leather straps. His hands shook. Nora trembled beside him. He turned and stroked her cheek. “See, we’re fine.”
“You handled Rosco well.”
“In town, it would have been a different story. I wouldn’t have been able to let him go. But out here, there was no danger. Did you see what spooked him?”
“A snake. The biggest I’ve ever seen.” She shuddered. “I think it was poised to strike.”
“Then it’s a good thing Rosco ran.”
“You kept such a cool head.”
“Compared to battle, this was nothing.”
“Since we’re friends, I’m going to ask. Was it awful?”
He’d never cleanse the stench of gunpowder or blood or death from his nostrils. “The worst. No matter what happens to me the rest of my life, that will always be the most horrible thing I’ll ever endure.”
“Does nothing frighten you anymore?” She didn’t turn his way but gazed at the birds as they crisscrossed the sky and called to one another.
Only her. Only that she would hate him if she knew the truth. “A few things. But mostly, no.”
She chuckled. “Spoken like a true man.”
“What do you fear?”
“My biggest fear?”
He nodded.
“Loneliness.”
He ground his teeth together. How could he have done this to her? Left her by herself and vulnerable. “Now you have a friend, so you shouldn’t be lonely.”
She gazed at him, a dimple deepening in her cheek. He’d never noticed that before. “You’re right. I have you and Wade and Maude and all the children.”
Once Rosco cooled down, Josiah turned the buggy toward the Yateses’ home. Maude sat on the porch rocker and came to her feet as they pulled up. “It’s about time you’re home. Alice is crying and asking for you, and I can’t get her to stop.”
Josiah helped her down. She squeezed his hand once more, the warmth of it shooting straight to his heart. “Thank you for the lovely diversion. Guess I’m needed here.”
All the way home, Josiah slumped in the seat.
He’d been such a fool.
Chapter 11
Just as Nora finished washing the coffeepot and storing it on the shelf, Maude swept into the kitchen, her fan flapping like a hummingbird’s wings.
“Give me a cup of coffee. And some of that cake from last night.”
Nora sighed. “We ate all the cake, and I just finished washing the pot. Isn’t it too hot for coffee?”
“Never. It’s the only thing that keeps me going.”
The words going where? balanced on Nora’s lips. She sucked them in and reached for the pot. “You’ll have to wait for it to brew.”
“You never have anything ready for me. I’m constantly waiting for you. Can’t you be a little more organized? Maybe then the house wouldn’t be such a mess.”
“A mess?” Nora peered around. She’d spent the morning scrubbing the kitchen from top to bottom. Not a speck of dirt remained.
“I see crumbs all over the table.”
They must be imaginary. Nora fought to keep those words from spilling from her mouth.
Josiah knocked and entered, saving her from another tongue-lashing. He smiled at her, and her afternoon brightened.
“I let Charles borrow my hammer to practice with some nails, and I think he brought it in here with him. Since I’m helping Wade with the fence, I’m in need of it.”
Maude did what she did best. Screeched at the boy. “Charles Yates, you get in here right this minute with Mr. Josiah’s hammer.”
“No harm. It’s good for the boy to learn.”
“And what happened to you?” Nora nodded to Josiah’s pants. A long rip ran vertically from three inches above his knee to three inches below it.
“Got it caught on a nail. That’s why I need the hammer.”
“You can’t work like that. Let me get you a pair of Wade’s, and I’ll sew that rip right up for you.”
Maude harrumphed. “He doesn’t need to borrow anything. Next thing you know, Wade’s pants will be ripped, and then what is he supposed to wear?”
“I’ll go back in the room and get them for you. And stop and pry that hammer from Charles’s hands.”
He winked at her. Her knees went weak. Would she even be able to make it down the hall?
With Maude squawking behind her the entire time, Nora retrieved the pants and the
missing tool. While Josiah changed, Maude continued her tirade. Nora allowed it to fade into the background as she measured out the coffee.
Josiah emerged from the bedroom and handed her the pants. “You’re a good soul, Nora.”
“It’s no trouble at all.” Except for the fluttering in her stomach, a sensation that plagued her every time Josiah came anywhere near her.
Once Josiah returned to work and Maude had her coffee, Nora sat with a thread and needle to repair the rip. She turned the pants inside out to hide the sewing as much as possible. As she did so, something fell out of the pocket. A folded piece of paper.
She picked it up. Her breath caught in her throat. The lavender paper. The rosy scent of it. The rounded script on it. All familiar.
Hers.
The first letter she’d sent J. M. Griffin, answering his mail-order bride advertisement. But why would Josiah have it? She crinkled her forehead. This didn’t make sense.
She checked the other pockets. In one, she touched a soft piece of fabric and pulled it out. Her handkerchief. The one she’d dropped the night of the first play.
Again, why did Josiah have it?
Her heart rate kicked up until it matched that of Rosco’s pounding hooves on Sunday. There was only one logical explanation to all of this.
Only one thing made sense.
She rose, dumping her sewing supplies from her lap to the floor.
Maude clucked her tongue. “What are you doing? Look at the mess you’ve made.”
Unable to answer for the lump that clogged her throat, Nora fled the house.
Josiah swung the hammer, hit the nail on the head, and drove it into the wood. Only a few more spots to fix and Wade’s fence would be good as new. With Wade just barely recovered from the fever, he needed a helping hand. At least, that’s what Josiah told himself. But the truth was his appearances at the Yateses’ place had more to do with a beautiful young widow than with anything else.
The front door slapping shut brought Josiah to attention. Nora marched down the porch steps and strode across the farmyard. A woman on a mission. And not a very pleasant one, judging by the scowl on her face. One of the boys must be in a heapload of trouble. Josiah chuckled. Poor kid.