Trading my sketchpad for her notebook, I changed directions and brought myself to stand over her. My shadow engulfed her and she lifted her chin, tugging out one earbud. I tossed the notebook down. It smacked against the paved walkway.
“I don’t know how your notes help you at all. They may as well be in Chinese.” She had the messiest handwriting of any girl I’d ever seen.
She snatched up the notebook defensively. “Not my fault you can’t read,” she grumbled.
“Not this again. We’ve had this argument before.” I dropped down beside her, giving her shoulder a nudge. “Speaking of, why’d you make up the story about me forgetting my notes? Why lie to him?”
She pulled the other earbud out and hit something on her iPod, stopping the music. “Because, if I told him what we were arguing about and what led to that argument, he would have hit you.”
I snickered. “Trying to protect me, eh?” That was laughable.
“No. The opposite, because if he hit you, you would have beat the crap out of him.” My eyebrows lifted, but she ignored my reaction. “He doesn’t need to be suspended or injured and have to sit out any games, but he’s too hot headed to think about that.” Pleased and amused covered how I was feeling in that moment.
“So you’re admitting I can kick your boyfriend’s ass?”
She rolled her eyes and then cocked her head in an irritated look. “You didn’t strike me as the kind of guy who needs his ego fed.”
“I don’t, but I won’t deny I like hearing it from your lips.”
“Did you come over here just to play more of your games? If so, I’d like to go back to my lunch.”
I eyed the bag of chips in her lap. Shooting my hand out, I snatched one from the bag. “What the hell are these?” Chips weren’t supposed to be green.
“They’re kale chips. They’re good.”
I gave her a doubtful look as I popped it in my mouth. They didn’t completely suck. “Not bad,” I swallowed. Then I grabbed her mp3 player to satisfy my curiosity. “What were you listening to?” I glanced at the screen. Not Taylor Swift. “The Civil Wars,” I said, mildly impressed.
“What were you expecting? Justin Bieber?”
I just laughed and shrugged. “Maybe.” I scrolled through the rest of her playlist. Ashes and Embers. Maroon 5. Modest Mouse. A few country artists, and a couple more obscure indie alternative bands. Aha. Taylor Swift. Knew it.
“What’s with the smug grin?”
I lifted my eyes. “Just confirming a theory.”
She snatched her phone from my hands. “Don’t make fun of my music.”
“I would never,” I feigned offense.
She ignored me and popped a couple chips in her mouth and then pulled pink plastic Tupperware from her matching insulated lunch bag. She popped open a container with a fat sandwich. I hoped she didn’t hear my stomach growl. Being hungry fucking sucked.
Money would be tighter now that summer was over and I was back in school. Even trying to pick up extra shifts here and there, I couldn’t work as many hours. Part of me considered dropping out. Wasn’t like I’d be going to college or anything, but I wanted to finish for Trin. Our parents dropped out and so had our older brother Tucker. I wanted to show her that we didn’t have to follow in their footsteps. She could make something of herself. She was smart and a good kid. But it was fucking hard trying to make sure she had good clothes and food to eat and whatever she needed while trying to keep myself in school. Tucker couldn’t be counted on, and honestly, I didn’t want anything to do with the money he brought in, but sometimes I didn’t have a choice. We needed it, even if I hated how he made it.
Watching her wrap her lips around that sandwich and take a hearty bite sent another stab of hunger through my stomach. I needed something to distract myself.
“So, when should we get together to work on the project?”
“I think we have to pick a book before we worry about that.”
“We already did, like ten minutes ago, or weren’t you standing there?”
Her brow wrinkled in a cute frown. “You were serious about Pride and Prejudice?”
“Yeah. Don’t tell me you don’t want to do it. It is your favorite book isn’t it?”
“How do you know that?”
I chuckled and grabbed for her backpack, reaching inside to pull out the worn leather bound copy. I held it up. “Not that hard to figure out. I swear you’ve carried this thing around with you every day for three years.”
The creases on her forehead deepened. “How do you know that?”
“I notice things.”
“About me?”
“About a lot of people, but yeah, you.”
She worried her bottom lip between her teeth as she seemed to take that in. “What else have you noticed about me?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” I teased. “But quit changing the subject. I’m trying to have an important discussion about our project, and you’re distracting.”
“Fine,” she huffed. “We have until Monday to do the plot and character analysis. I have cheer practice until five every day, but I could meet you at the library one night this week after five. Just not Friday.”
Right, because she’d be cheering for her douchebag boyfriend in her tiny skirt at the big game. Wouldn’t catch me there even if I did enjoy the sight of her legs in that skirt. “Can’t. I’m busy every night this week.” I couldn’t afford to take a shift off, even for homework. “I could do Saturday night.” I worked the day shift on weekends.
“I have plans Saturday night. What about Sunday?”
“Sunday doesn’t work for me.” Sunday was family dinner night, which was usually just me and Trin, because Tucker couldn’t be bothered to actually give a shit about family, but I wouldn’t blow Trin off. I knew our dinners meant something to her, even if it was just the two of us eating mac and cheese from a box because that’s all we had sometimes.
Frustration tugged at her features, but she did her best to keep it down. “Then I guess I can change my plans on Saturday,” she said reluctantly. I hoped they were plans with Jeremy.
“Okay, seven good for you?”
“Seven? The library closes at five on Saturdays.”
“Sorry, I don’t get off work until five-thirty, and trust me, you’ll want me to go home and shower.” I always smelled like grease and meat when I left the restaurant.
“Oh. I didn’t know you had a job. Seven will work then. You can come over to my place, unless you’d prefer we work at yours.”
“No, yours is good.” No way did I want Shaeleigh Bradford stepping foot inside my house. If she didn’t think I was trash already, she would definitely change her mind if she saw our dump. Not that I really cared what someone like her thought, but she definitely wouldn’t feel comfortable at my place.
“Okay,” she took another bite of that delicious looking club sandwich, completely oblivious that there wasn’t much I wouldn’t have done in that moment for a bite. I let Trin have the last of the milk on her cereal this morning, so I had a bowl of dry, generic Cheerios, because you could get them cheap in a big ass bag.
“So have you read Pride and Prejudice before?” She set the second half of her sandwich aside and popped open another container with perfectly sliced green apples and a little dipping cup of peanut butter.
“No, but I’m sure you have the thing memorized. I’m confident you can break it down for me.”
“You need to read it,” she protested. “It’s so good. It won’t be the same if I just tell you about it.” She dipped one of her apple slices into the peanut butter and then into her mouth, crunching down on the juicy apple. I couldn’t pull my eyes away from her lips. Mostly because of the food. Yeah, it was just the food.
“Jane Austen’s not really my style.”
“Please read it.” She batted her stupidly long lashes, enhanced by the make-up crap she wore, and pouted her lips just slightly.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” I couldn’
t help myself from reaching out and stealing one of her apple slices, “that shit’s not going to work on me.”
She went full blown pout. “Fine, what do I have to do to get you to read it?” she asked, and then thought better of it. “And don’t say anything dirty.”
A laugh slipped from my lips, because that’s exactly where my mind went. “Then there’s nothing you can do. Not reading it.”
Her shoulders slumped in defeat. “Well at least take my copy, and maybe you’ll change your mind. I can tell you’re really tempted.”
“Yeah, okay,” I chuckled. I grabbed the book, shoving it in my bag. No way in hell was I reading it, though.
“Kellen?” A bubbly voice sounded from a few feet away. We both looked up at the intrusion. My sister was standing a few feet away, looking at me with Shaeleigh curiously.
“Hey Trin, did you eat lunch already?” I asked casually, but I was checking up on her. I needed to know she’d eaten.
She bobbed her head. “Yeah, if I had known you were staying for lunch, I would have eaten with you.” What she really meant was that she would have shared her lunch. Her eyes were knowing and guilty because I’d given her my lunch money. Damn it. It was only her second day of high school. This was not the kind of shit fourteen year old girls were supposed to worry about.
“You have to put up with me enough, you should eat with your friends.”
She nodded again, but there was something in the way she ducked her eyes, and kicked at the ground that I didn’t like, but then her eyes flicked to Shaeleigh, who’d been quietly observing us.
“Oh, sorry. Shae, this is my sister, Trinity.”
I was relieved when Shae smiled brightly up at her and Trin smiled tentatively back. “We have creative cooking sixth period together, right?”
My sister nodded her head–it was the class I told her to take because they got to eat in there–and then looked at me again. “Will I see you after school?”
“No. I have a shift. Find Derek and he’ll give you a ride home.”
“Okay. Then I guess I’ll see you when you get home tonight. And I’ll see you in cooking class.” She gave Shae another goofy smile and then bounced off.
“She’s sweet.” I looked for any sign on Shae’s face that she wasn’t being genuine, but found none.
“Yeah, she is.”
“How many siblings do you have?”
“Two. We have an older brother. What about you?”
“I don’t have any brothers or sisters.” I detected a bit of sadness behind her words. She nibbled on her apples, and conversation stalled. I didn’t know why I was still sitting here with her, other than I was enjoying myself. But again, it raised the question of why she was sitting out here by herself, instead of with her horde. They usually flocked around the quad.
“Do you want the rest of this?” She was holding out the second half of her sandwich.
“Why?” I scowled.
She withdrew the offered sandwich. “I just can’t finish it and I don’t like to throw food away, but if you don’t want it, that’s fine.”
Oh. “You’re really not going to eat it?”
“No. First lunch is too early for me. I’m not that hungry.”
“Then I guess I’ll take it.” I tried not to seem too eager when she handed it to me, but I couldn’t hold back from finishing it in just a few bites. It was a good fucking sandwich. I didn’t even mind that there was spinach and lettuce on it.
“So why are you sitting out here?”
She shrugged. “Why shouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. Just didn’t expect to see you sitting by yourself.”
“I could say the same for you. Why aren’t you with your friends?”
“They left for lunch and I didn’t feel like going.”
“Oh. I guess I just didn’t feel like sitting with mine. Jeremy and Cammie have second lunch, and sometimes I just like to have a quiet minute to myself.”
“And I’m interrupting.” I started to reach for my bag to back off, but she stopped me.
“No, surprisingly, you’re not. As irritating as you can be, you’re not nearly as irritating as they can be sometimes, but keep that to yourself.”
I laughed out loud. “I don’t think that’s any big secret, except maybe to themselves. I’m just surprised to hear you say it.”
“Because I’m one of them?”
“Well, yeah.”
She let out a soft sigh. “Doesn’t mean I’m like them.”
I was beginning to see that. Cammie Carlisle, her best friend, was a crazy bitch. Stuck up as hell, except when she was naked, and even then I’d only gone there the one time because I was drunk and she was hot and as wild in bed as she was annoying out of bed. That was pretty much par for the course with those girls though, and Jeremy and his football buddies were giant dicks. Probably because they had small ones. So the fact that Shae was not only tolerable, but actually kind of interesting, and funny and not a bitch, was unexpected to say the least. Not to mention that she was easily the most gorgeous girl at this school.
Nine
Shae
April 30
Present …
My phone ringing and someone knocking at the door was not how I wanted to be woken up on a Saturday morning after a late Friday night. Even worse was the wine hangover from the bottle I may or may not have drained. Okay, I definitely drank the whole bottle when I got home last night.
The ringing phone was the first problem I addressed, and when I saw my mother’s number flashing on the screen, a quick swipe to the left took care of that.
Now to deal with the cruel and hateful person banging on the door, at this ungodly– ugh I didn’t even know what time it was. Almost noon. Shit. I guess they weren’t evil. I was just more pathetic than I realized.
I dragged myself out of bed and yanked a sweatshirt from my overflowing suitcase. Careful of the tender spot on my back, I pulled it on over the skimpy tank top I slept in and trudged my way to the front door. A peek through the peephole had me silently cursing even as I reached for the door to open it.
Shit. Damn. Fuck.
“Hey Trinity,” I said brightly, forcing myself to come to terms with the fact that Kellen’s little sister was standing on the front porch, so very grown up looking compared to the teenager I used to know.
“Hi.” She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me. I returned the gesture, and something inside my chest started melting. Shit. I’d managed seven years without feeling guilty about leaving, only because I’d refused to think about the people I’d cut out of my life that hadn’t deserved to be left behind and forgotten like that.
“Do you want to come in?” I asked when we pulled apart.
“Only if I’m not bothering you.”
I let out a soft laugh. “As you can probably tell, I wasn’t doing anything important. I have an appointment later today, but it’d be great to catch up.”
She looked relieved and guilt swamped me again as I led her into Didi’s living room. Trinity had been the sweetest girl, and she was nearly as devastated as I was when things turned sour between me and her brother.
“How have you been?” I asked as we both took seats on the large sofa.
“Good, and you? It’s been so long.”
My chest deflated. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that. I just– it’s good to see you. I definitely missed you, but I understood.” Seven years had done nothing to change that she was still the same sweet girl.
“I’m still sorry and I’d really like to hear what you’ve been up to.”
We talked for quite a while, slowly falling back into an easy and comfortable dialogue. She’d graduated from Coastal University here in town last spring and was finishing up her student teaching at one of the elementary schools before she became a certified teacher. It was so good to hear that she’d been doing well and was on a good path. I was really proud of her and could only imagine
how proud Kellen was. Despite what he’d done to me, he was a good brother to Trinity. He sacrificed so much for her to make sure she got every chance she could to succeed.
If only he’d fought as hard for himself.
Or us.
No, I couldn’t go there. It was a slippery slope.
Trinity stuck around into the afternoon until I looked at the time and realized I had to get ready for my meeting. “I’m really glad you stopped by Trin. I have to meet a real estate agent at Didi’s shop and I still need to shower, but maybe we can grab coffee or lunch this week before I go back to New York.”
She rose from the couch. “So you’re really selling the shop?”
“Yeah. I don’t know the first thing about running a business, and I’ve got a life in New York.”
“Of course.”
I walked her to the door and we traded cell numbers so we could make plans during the week. Once she was gone, I intended to take a quick shower and get down to the shop a little early so I could dust and straighten up in case she wanted to take a few pictures. Once I was under the hot water, my quick shower stretched into almost half an hour. By the time I got out, I had to throw on the first things I found in my suitcase, do a half-assed blow out on my hair to keep it from dripping down my back and skip make-up entirely.
I made it down to Fourth Ave with only minutes to spare. I kept my eyes away from the shop across the street, and did my best ten minute tidy up while I waited for Judy Parker. She was right on time and the meeting went quickly. She did snap a few pictures and then we went over property values and what I hoped to get out of the place.
We went over a few other details and then she left me with a small stack of paperwork to fill out and return to her office as soon as possible. I let her know I could have it to her by the end of business today and then she was off to another appointment. We made plans for her to come by and see the house on Monday.
I pulled up a stool behind the counter, letting my eyes linger on the few photos Didi had back there. The two of us in her back yard gardening. Me as a little girl on Papa’s lap. The three of us at the beach. And then one that had been taken at Papa’s sixtieth birthday, when Dad was still alive. The five of us were all there and smiling. I was standing in front of Daddy, he had his arms wrapped around my shoulders and my head was tipped back smiling up at him instead of the camera. Mom was leaning her head on his shoulder and Didi and Papa were holding hands at the end. It was one of the last times we were all together. It wasn’t even a year later that Dad died in the accident and everything changed.
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