Twenty minutes in, I flicked it back on the dimmest setting. I wasn’t that brave.
This was further evidenced after I shrieked and fell off the couch when someone, presumably the pizza delivery guy, pounded on the front door just as the masked killer popped out from behind a door and got the guy in the movie. I quickly jumped up and grabbed for the remote as my racing heart calmed down. I hit pause and then snagged my wallet on the way to answer the door.
I was rifling for ones to tip the guy with as I pulled the front door open.
“You’re not the pizza guy,” I said when I looked up.
“You shouldn’t answer your door if you don’t know who it is,” he chided.
“I thought you were the pizza guy.” A bit of annoyance slipped out. What was Nikolai even doing here?
“And yet, I’m not.”
I folded my arms under my chest and jutted my hip out. “You’re not, which means you don’t have a pineapple pepperoni pizza for me, which means you have no reason to be here.”
“Pineapple is disgusting on pizza,” he cringed.
“Is not,” I snapped.
“Pineapple is a fruit and fruit does not belong on pizza,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Technically, tomato is a fruit too. Therefore, fruit is the second most important part of the pizza,” I retorted.
“What’s the first?”
“The cheese, duh.”
He shook his head. “No, the crust is the most important part. Without a good crust, the whole thing is shit.”
“I’d eat my pizza on a cardboard crust if the sauce was good and it was smothered in cheese. And pineapple.” A flicker of amusement shone in his eyes, further igniting my irritation. “Why are you even here?”
His eyes softened and held mine captive. “I missed this.”
“Missed what?” I shifted uncomfortably on my feet.
“Arguing with you about stupid stuff. Watching you get worked up. Seeing that cute little crease in your brow that means you’re imagining impaling me with a sharp object.”
My hand lifted automatically to the furrow in my brow. His lips twitched, and I dropped my hand to my side, keeping the scowl in place. “What are you trying to do?”
“Apologize,” he said.
“Oh,” I faltered and then stiffened. “Well, you’re not off to a great start. You’re shit at apologies.”
“I know. Let me start over?”
I contemplated it a second, trying my best to appear indifferent, but truth was, I did want to hear what he had to say. “Fine.” I jerked my head in a nod. “But you’re not coming in,” I amended. “And you have until my pizza gets here.”
“Fair enough. I wasn’t planning on coming in anyway, considering Eli is in the truck.”
“What?” I stuck my head out the door. Nikolai’s truck was pulled up to the curb, still running, but the tint of the windows prevented me from seeing inside.
“What does he think you’re doing here?”
“Getting the girl back.”
My heart lurched.
“I’m not the only who misses you and wishes I hadn’t screwed up so bad.”
“Did you come to this realization before or after you made out with his nanny?” Yeah, I hadn’t forgotten about that. And it had only been four hours.
“I let Marissa go. What you saw, what happened, wasn’t what you think it was. She sort of ambushed me with the kiss. I should have stopped it sooner, but if I’m honest, I was still pissed at you and not thinking all that rationally. I knew she had developed a small crush on me, but I swear I never crossed the line with her before today. I didn’t realize that her crush would go so far. She was the one that told me she saw you out with a new guy, but I’m guessing that wasn’t true?” He looked at me almost hopefully.
“No. There hasn’t been anyone else.”
“I’m sorry I lost it on you today, it’s just that the thought of you moving on to some other asshole drove me a bit crazy?”
“A bit?” I raised a brow.
“No. It made me fucking insane.”
“Good.”
“I deserve that, I know. But I want to make it all up to you.”
“How?” I asked apprehensively.
“For starters, Eli and I were hoping you’d come have a sleepover with us tonight and stay for pancakes in the morning.”
I looked to the truck and then back to Nikolai uncertainly. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Cassie, I’m trying to say I want you in my life. All of it.”
“What makes you think it won’t just end disastrously again? The fighting is only fun for so long, before it’s just . . . not anymore. And that’s all we seem to be able to do when we’re not . . .”
“Doing the other thing we’re so good at?” He raised his brow suggestively.
I huffed, “Fighting and fucking doesn’t make a relationship, Nikolai. It was fun while it lasted, but we both knew it was going to end at some point. Which it did, and I have this new rule about not going back, only moving forward, so I think we should both do that.” It hurt to say, but I had to be strong.
“That’s what I’m trying to do here, but I want to do it with you. There was more to us than the fighting and fucking, and you know it. A lot more. I didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want it to get complicated, but my feelings for you have been complicated from the beginning.”
“Are they still?” I worried my bottom lip between my teeth.
“Pet, I think we’re always going to be complicated, but that’s not a bad thing.”
“It doesn’t scare you?” Because the thought of getting hurt again scared the hell out of me.
“Cass, falling for you is quite possibly the most terrifying thing I’ve done since the doctors placed Eli in my arms, but I’ve found that the things that scare us the most, are usually worth it.”
“You’re falling for me?”
“Pet, I already fell.”
I blinked rapidly. “Really?”
“Come here.” He reached for my hand. I let him take it and tug me into his arms. He cradled me against his chest and rested his chin atop my head. And then a small voice hollered.
“Is she coming or what, Dad?”
Not letting go of me, he turned to look at Eli, who had rolled the window down and stuck his head out. Nikolai gave him a thumbs up. Eli pumped his fist out the window and shouted, “Yes!”
I tipped my head up. “I didn’t agree to the sleepover yet.”
“It’s the kid’s birthday. You really going to break his heart like that on his birthday?” He smirked down at me.
“That’s low. Using your kid to get what you want.” A grin snaked its way across my lips.
“I’m prepared to fight dirty. Besides, he has the keys and he told me I couldn’t get back in the truck without you. If I want to go home tonight, you don’t have a choice but to come with me.”
I pulled back. “I still think we have a lot to talk about, but I’ll sleepover tonight and have pancakes with you guys in the morning.”
“That’s all I need. I’ll spend the rest of the night convincing you to stay longer.”
“How do you plan to do that?”
“I have a few ideas for after Eli falls asleep.”
“I’ll just bet.” I smacked his chest lightly. “You’re not entirely forgiven yet, though.” I turned serious for a minute. “I want to trust you. I want to trust this. I want to believe you want the same thing I do, but—”
“I broke that trust, and now I have to earn it back. I know, and I will.” He sounded so sure and confident, I couldn’t help the way my heart fluttered wildly.
Headlights turned the corner, lighting up the street. We watched as the delivery driver pulled to a stop behind Nikolai’s truck.
“Perfect timing,” he said. “We’ll take it to go.”
Nikolai took out his wallet and insisted on paying the driver. He put both me and the pizza in his truck and drove us a
ll home. Well, home for him and Eli. It did feel good walking through the door and not having to worry about tip-toeing and keeping my voice hushed so Eli wouldn’t wake up and find me here. I still didn’t know how this was all going to work—me and Nikolai and the three of us together—but for the first time in a while, breathing was easy and every heart beat didn’t hurt.
Later, after we’d eaten all the pizza and ordered a second one—without pineapple—and watched the first Christmas movie of the season, we tucked Eli into bed, and then Nikolai tucked me into bed. His. I was stripped down to nothing but one of his t-shirts and my underwear, snuggled down deep in the blankets. We faced each other, my hand in his, held between us, his other hand curled around my hip. His thumb traced slow circles over the skin above my waistband and my gaze was ensnared in his. His eyes blazed with emotions that had my heart pumping and my blood rushing.
“This is right where you’re supposed to be.” He brought his hand up from my hip and brushed my hair back, tucking it behind my ear. His knuckles caressed my cheek and then he cupped the side of my face in his hand and brought his lips to mine for a chaste kiss.
I pulled back. “You’re sure you’re not going to freak in the morning when you wake up and realize I’m still here and that all this is real?”
“God, it better be real.” His warm breath fanned across my cheek. “I’ve been wanting a redo of that morning so I could get it right. There are so many things I want to get right this time around.”
“I want you to get it right, too.”
“I was also, kind of hoping, you might want to watch Eli when I’m working. You know, since I had to let Marissa go.”
“How’d she take that?”
“Harder than I thought she would. It wasn’t pretty. I’m glad I did it over the phone. I didn’t realize how bad it was. I think in her head she was playing house with Eli and me. Cooking and cleaning for us. I’ll have to call the agency on Monday and let them know I had to let her go.”
“I can’t blame her for falling for your charms, but hearing you say her name gives me stabby feelings, so you probably shouldn’t for a while.”
“Got it.” He kissed my nose.
“Do you think there’s any chance she was the one messing with my car?”
His brows knitted together. “Your brakes and tires were before I even hired her.”
“But she could have been the one who broke my windows and wrote on it.” We’d assumed it was someone harassing me over Aaron, like everything else that had happened to me in the past month, but I wouldn’t put petty vandalism past Marissa. I was just thankful it had all stopped. Whoever had been harassing me had finally moved on and was probably making someone else’s life miserable.
“I guess it’s possible. It’s too bad you left the party when you did. If you’d stuck around another ten minutes you would have witnessed me almost murdering Eli’s step dad when he showed up.”
“What?” I sat up. “Did you call the cops?”
“No,” he sighed, pulling me back down into his arms. “He had a convincing story.” He filled me in and I hoped for Nikolai’s and Eli’s sakes that Michael Lawrence wasn’t lying, because if Nikolai had to hunt him down and kill him, it would be very bad.
“So, what does this mean for the investigation? Who else could have killed your ex-wife?”
“I wish I knew the answer to that.”
“They were both having affairs, right? If it isn’t the spouse in these cases, isn’t it usually a lover? Maybe someone wanted her out of the way so they could have Mike, or maybe whoever she was seeing was pissed she wouldn’t leave him.”
“I’m sure the cops will look in that direction if Mike is telling the truth. As long as it doesn’t involve my son, I’m not getting involved again.”
“Can it really all be that simple? Can all of our problems just go away like that? No more trying to track down Mike, no more car vandalism, no more lovesick nanny. I have a new job, we’re together . . . I don’t know, it almost seems like it all worked out too easily.”
“You think what we’ve gone through has been easy?”
“Well, no, but I almost feel like I need to fight Marissa or something to stake my claim, you know some kind of final showdown, catfight.”
“Cassie, you’re not going to fight the nanny.”
“Former nanny,” I corrected with a glare.
“Yes, former. My new nanny is much hotter and lets me do all sorts of terrible things to her.” He rolled me beneath him and nipped at my bottom lip before nibbling his way to my ear. “And she loves it,” he purred, his words prickling my skin.
“What sort of terrible things?” My breath quickened.
A wry smile touched his lips. “I’ll be happy to demonstrate, but first,” he pushed himself up onto one elbow and shifted to his side. “I want to hear about the new job. A little birdie told me he saw you at school yesterday.”
“I figured he mentioned it on account of you accusing me of stalking him.”
He grimaced. “That wasn’t one of my finer moments.”
“It’s okay,” I playfully slapped his cheek. “I’ve almost forgiven you.”
“Well, tell me about the job and then I can work on persuading you to forgive me fully.”
“There’s not much to tell, but I swear it had nothing to do with stalking Eli. The district needs substitutes desperately.” That’s why they’d rushed my paperwork. “Hanging around with Eli made me realize I like kids. I like them a lot better than adults, anyway. I think I’m good with them and I think I’d be an okay teacher. This is my way of trying it out before I fully commit. I can spend the year subbing, and if I like it, I don’t know, maybe I’ll get a teaching certificate and apply for a real teaching job.”
“I know you would never use Eli like that. I only said it to be a dick, and I think it’s great. I did the moment he told me. You’ll be more than an okay teacher. The kids will be lucky to have you.”
“You really think so?” I was just thankful the lady at the school district was giving me a chance. I was worried she would see my name and laugh me out of the office.
“You’re going to be brilliant.” His confidence in me made me feel all warm and fuzzy. And then he made me feel all sorts of other things. Very terrible, naughty, and wonderful things. All night long.
And then we ate blueberry pancakes with Eli for breakfast, and it was perfect.
So, of course, I should have known something was going to go wrong.
It started with a phone call Nikolai got midway through breakfast. I knew right away from the look on his face that whatever news he was receiving wasn’t good.
Nineteen
Cassie
Nikolai pulled me into the living room while Eli finished his pancakes. “I need you to stay here with him.”
“What’s happened?” I asked worriedly.
He lowered his voice, “Mike didn’t come down when it was time for Jones to take him to the airport. Jones had the hotel ring his room, no answer. Finally made someone go in there and they found his body.”
“Oh my God,” I gasped. “Did someone . . . I mean, was he murdered?”
“I don’t know anything right now. The way he was yesterday, well it wouldn’t surprise me if he did it himself, but I have to go down there. Spencer is already there, but the cops want to talk to me. I have no idea how long this could take, but will you be alright with Eli? I don’t want to tell him yet, not until I know more.”
“Yes. Go. We’ll be fine.” He kissed me on the forehead and then ducked back into the kitchen to kiss Eli similarly and tell him he had to go to work. Eli took it well when he learned he got to spend the day with me.
“What should we do first?” I asked once it was just us.
“I got a new game for the Xbox. Want to play? It’s the new Lego Batman.” He bounced on his feet eagerly.
Who could say no to that face?
For the next hour, I let him humiliate my little spandex wearing
Lego figure as I tried to get the hang of the game.
Eli giggled for the thousandth time, “You gotta get up here. Just do what I did.”
“I’m trying,” I huffed. “How did you do it?”
He reached over and grabbed the controller from my hand. “You gotta press this button when you jump. See?” He executed the move perfectly and my guy swung himself up and launched into a little flippy thingy that landed him on the second level.
“Maybe we should try a board game, one that doesn’t require any complicated button pressing.”
His eyes flared. “Aunt Nora and Uncle Spencer got me a game called, Pie Face. We could play that.”
“What is it?”
The way his lips curled into a grin worried me. “You’ll see.” He closed out the game and turned off the console and then I found out what Pie Face was.
Eli smiled sheepishly and bit back another giggle as I wiped the shaving cream—they didn’t have any whipped cream in the fridge—from my face after our second round. “One more time,” I told him, “but this time, I’m going to get you.” After taking two handfuls of shaving cream in the face, I wasn’t feeling very magnanimous.
It was very satisfying when he got a face full of the shaving cream. He was a good sport about it and we were both sticky messes by the time we put the game away, but Eli wasn’t done with me yet. He kept me going nonstop. From one thing to the next. We spent a couple hours putting together the Lego sets he’d received for his birthday. I beamed with pride when he told me that the set I’d picked out was his favorite. Some of that turned to frustration when it turned out to be the most complicated one to put together. My fingers were sore, and my back and neck were stiff from hunching over by the time we snapped on the last piece.
“No. More. Legos,” I groaned, falling backward and laying spread eagle on his bedroom floor. I actually dozed off briefly while he played with the Legos.
After lunch he dragged me out back to see the fort his dad and the guys had built up in the big, old oak tree that bordered their yard, complete with a rope ladder I had to climb. Our afternoon was spent defending the fortress from would-be invaders. I kept checking my phone, hoping for updates from Nikolai, but the only one I got said it was going to be a while longer. The police had a lot of questions. I hoped Nikolai wasn’t in any trouble.
Blackest Night (Shades of Death Book 3) Page 23