by Dale Mayer
He thanked everybody for coming. “Listen. I’d play longer,” he said, “but I’m grateful for the ninety-minute window we have right now and don’t want to disrespect the privilege.” The crowd agreed, but there were lots of groans and complaints. He smiled and said, “Hey, you know who to take it up with.” They all enjoyed a laugh.
From the back, Dani said, “Hey, thanks for that, Lance. You just threw me under the bus.”
He chuckled and said, “No, I definitely don’t want to do that,” he said. “Because of Dani, I can be here and can play at all.”
That was the pattern for the next couple weeks, and he could feel himself building in strength—with Shane working on his back, his thighs, his posture, and even the way Lance held his neck. Sometimes they practiced with the guitar in his hand, and Shane would correct his posture to strengthen it, so Lance would be okay to play longer. Then they did the same thing on the piano.
“Too bad I don’t have drums,” he said. “I could really see myself pounding out some of that music.”
“I imagine you are great as a drummer too,” Shane said.
“Yes,” he said, “I am. You’ll be happy to know the positioning is different yet again.”
“We’ll get there,” he said. “Maybe we’ll take you to a music store in town, so I can have you sit on everything they offer, and I can take photos to study later.”
Lance looked at him in surprise. “Wow,” he said. “Actually, for drums, it would just be a stool,” he said. “I used to sit on a round stool.” Then he looked around the gym and pointed out one of the stools up against a desk. Something like that. Grabbing his crutches, he made his way over to the side and pulled the stool into the middle of the gym. Then, with his hands holding imaginary wooden drum sticks, he rapped on an imaginary set of drums. Shane watched carefully. When Lance finally stopped and looked over at Shane, Lance smiled sheepishly and said, “That was probably a pretty crazy-looking show.”
“But I’ve got it on video,” Shane said, “and it’s very helpful to see how you’re using your back.” He played it so Lance could see the way he curved and bent.
“So, right across my shoulder blades, I’ve still got that curve that I’m supposed to be straightening up,” he said. “It was really helpful to see it like that though.”
“Exactly,” Shane said. “You’ve come a long way. We’re just tuning little bits and pieces now.”
“Does that mean I’ll get out of here soon?”
“Probably another eight to ten weeks,” Shane said. “I don’t want you to leave until you’re strong, capable, and vibrant, and when you have a plan in place for moving forward,” he said. “Too often people get impatient, and they leave because they have friends and family they want to get back to, or a career, and they’re at that 80 percent mark,” he said. “I want to get everybody to the 100 percent mark, so they can maintain what they’ve accomplished. There’ll be some slippage,” he said. “That’s to be expected because you won’t be having therapy every day. So you’ll want to make sure you’re at 100 percent, so the slippage only takes you back down to 90 or 95.”
“Or I don’t leave until I’m 120 percent,” he said with a big smile. “And then I’m only at 100 when I’m done slipping.”
“Or you don’t slip at all,” Shane said. “That’s an option too.”
They just chuckled and kept on working. Lance hadn’t heard any more about the blues club from either Jessica or Shane. And he wouldn’t for another few weeks. And, when he did, it came in a surprising form.
Chapter 15
Jessica looked at the email, surprised. She looked over at Dani. “Are you sure this email is for me?”
“I’m not exactly sure who it’s for,” she said, “but I figured you would be the one to start with. It’s from the blues club.”
“But I didn’t give him my email. I just said I was from Hathaway House.”
“It’s definitely for their contact at Hathaway House,” she said, “and it says he was talking to somebody from here,” tapping the screen with her finger. “So, that would be you.”
Jessica sat down to read the rest of the message and smiled. “He had told me that one of his musicians was planning on leaving. Apparently that has happened, so now he’s looking for a replacement. I’d been extremely supportive of the idea, but I didn’t want to push Lance into it. I got the feeling he felt like I was pushing,” she said, “so I backed off immediately.”
“Well, this sounds like a great opportunity,” Dani said. “I don’t know where Lance’s progress is at or whether he could make it into town to do a show,” she said, “but it might be a good way to find out.”
“Right,” Jessica said. “Maybe he could even start by doing just an hour and a half on a Friday night,” she said enthusiastically. Then she remembered the distance that had come between them last time over this same topic. “But again, that sounds like me pushing, and this may not be what he wants to do,” she said.
“So just print this off and let him decide,” Dani said.
“The other thing is, it could all be for naught,” she said. “Because he wanted Lance to go in and audition for a spot, if he was interested. I’d mentioned that he plays here on Saturdays, but that doesn’t mean he plays the blues.”
“Right,” she said. “Again, dump it in his hands and see what he’d like to do.”
“Will do,” she said. She printed off a copy and tucked it into her pocket. It was a couple days before she had it at a time where she felt it was right to share it with Lance. She pulled it from her uniform pocket and handed it to him one morning when she headed down for coffee.
“What’s this?” he asked, sitting up in his bed and unfolding it. He looked at it in surprise. “Wow, this again.”
“Only if you want to,” she said. “I’m not pushing, but I did stop in that one time, and he remembered, and he sent this email.”
“But that also means going in for an audition,” he said, “and going in for a whole evening. I don’t think I can do that.”
“Well,” she said, “I guess there are a few options though.”
“Maybe,” he said. “I don’t know.” He nodded, tucked the email back into its folded form, and laid it on top of his table beside his coffee cup.
She could feel a sense of disappointment but had to remind herself that he would make whatever choice he felt was right for him. She glanced at her watch. “I’ve got to go,” she said. “The day has started.” And she headed back to her office.
Throughout the day, she wondered if he’d come to any decision but chose not to mention it. Several days later he still hadn’t mentioned it, and she tucked away her expectations and tried to just let him do him. When Saturday whirled around, the common area was even more jam-packed than usual.
She laughed as she stood beside him. “You know something? Dani’ll need to set this up in a bigger area.”
“I was thinking the cafeteria,” he said. “Maybe next time.”
“Maybe this time,” she said, as the place swelled with even more people. She looked over as Dani neared and asked, “Can we move this to the cafeteria?”
She looked surprised and then nodded. “Let me check to see how many people are in there.” She headed to the cafeteria and returned a few minutes later. Quieting the crowd, she said, “We’ll move this into the cafeteria, people. A lot more space is there.” With cheers, the double doors opened wide, and everybody streamed into the cafeteria, settling into various spots around the room.
Jessica walked alongside Lance as they headed to the cafeteria. “Where do you think you want to sit?”
“I’m not sure,” he said, as he entered the room, surveying the situation. “Maybe somewhere in the middle here against that back wall.” So that’s what they did. They set him up a chair, and he grabbed his guitar and said, “Good evening, everyone. Glad you could all make it.” And, with that, he headed into a several renditions of John Denver songs and then did a Barry White, which
just caused her heart to swim with joy.
When he slid into several jazz songs, she hit Record on her phone because, dear God, his music was unbelievable. She didn’t want to lose that magic. When he was done at an hour and a half, she had tears in her eyes, and she could see several men in the room choking back their emotions as well. Somehow Lance had taken it to a whole new level tonight.
She didn’t know how or why, but every soul in that room was affected. What Lance could do with that little guitar was nothing short of amazing. And, when he finally came to an end, there was dead silence, and then the place erupted in cheers.
He smiled, looking a little emotional himself. “That went a little deep tonight,” he said. “I hope you guys are all okay with that. I tend to play by the moods that I’m in, and, tonight, well, it just seemed appropriate to play some of these songs.”
Jessica got up, walked over to the cafeteria water table, and poured herself a glass, waiting for the emotions to slide back down her throat. Dani joined her.
“My God,” Dani whispered. “He’s so good.”
“I know,” Jessica said. “I can’t believe it.”
“Well, we’ll see what comes of it tonight,” Dani said with a tiny smile. Jessica looked at her suspiciously. Dani gave a shrug and said, “One never knows where one can be.”
“I recorded some of that tonight,” Jessica said. “I just wanted to have that music myself. But I should ask him if it’s okay.”
“Right. We never thought of that, did we? But we should be recording him, if only to preserve it for his own uses,” Dani said, speaking more to herself now.
After dinner, Jessica and Lance sat outside together with a cup of tea.
“Lance, I recorded some of that tonight,” she said. “I never thought to ask you ahead of time. I just did it so I can have it and listen again, and I’d really like to keep it, but I’ll understand if you’d rather I didn’t.”
“Play it, would you?” he said, looking at her in surprise.
She found the recording and played it, letting several songs drift across the open deck as the two of them sat out here alone.
“I missed a note on that one,” he said.
“That’s the only thing you can say?” she said, laughing. “Did you realize there wasn’t a dry eye in the room?”
“Hey, I was feeling kind of teary-eyed myself,” he said. “That’s the problem with playing from the heart,” he said. “Once your heart’s engaged, it comes through, and it’s hard not to be affected by the music.”
“It was stunning,” she said. “So,” she said, when she stopped the recording, “can I keep it?”
He looked at her and said, “Do you really want to? I made a couple mistakes.”
She chuckled. “Apparently I wouldn’t know the difference,” she said. “The music moved me to the point of tears, and I would just love to have it.”
“Okay then,” he said, “but you’re not selling it or anything, right?”
“I won’t be playing it for the managers at the two clubs in town. That’s up to you to decide.” She chuckled. “My personal use only.”
“Fine,” he said with a dismissive wave.
“But you could consider selling something like this,” she said. “I know you don’t want to do that YouTube thing, but I think there’s a lot of room for somebody as talented as you are.”
“Well, so says you,” he said with a gentle smile. “The thing about musicians is that it’s really hard to stand out. There are just so many of us, and some are truly gifted,” he said. “It’s a sea of voices, and you’re trying to be the one who gets heard,” he said. “It doesn’t really work too well for most.”
“So you say,” she said because, inside, she couldn’t imagine anybody not clamoring to hear his music. Especially with the emotions he poured into it. “Tonight you were truly brilliant.”
Lance remembered Jessica’s words over the next couple days, and they put a little spring in his step and a smile on his face.
Even Shane commented on it. “Man, you had the place in tears the other night,” he said.
“Not sure that’s a good thing, is it?” Lance said. “Considering most of them already have experienced some pretty difficult traumas in their lives.”
“True,” Shane said, “but everybody needs an outlet for their feelings too.”
“I wasn’t thinking of that,” he said.
“Nope, we rarely do,” he said. “Now that you’re heading into your last couple months, from what I can see, how are you feeling about your progress?”
“Considering that I didn’t really see any potential for much progress,” he said, “I can’t believe how strong and vibrant I feel now.”
“Inside and out?”
“Inside and out,” he said. “And honestly, I think the music is responsible for a lot of that inside.”
“And once the inside fires up,” Shane said, “it’s like you can’t do anything but keep the outside going too,” he said. “Once you got music back into your life, your progress moved in leaps and bounds.”
“It feels wonderful,” he said. “I still haven’t figured out what to do with my life, but you know what? I’m not sure that I have to do very much either.”
“Good point,” Shane said. “Too often everybody thinks they have to get a nine-to-five job, but I’m not sure that’s true in your case, is it?”
Lance shook his head. “No, it isn’t. I do have some income,” he said. “It’s not exactly enough to buy a house and to raise a family, but I might just take a few months and see about writing some of the songs that are in my soul,” he confessed. “Since I’ve started feeling better,” he said, “I’ve gotten back to writing.”
“I didn’t even know you wrote songs too,” Shane said in surprise. “If you can pack as much emotion into those songs as you did into Saturday night’s performance,” he said, “they are bound to be a big hit.”
“There might be a big hit among them,” he said, “but in this world nobody can hear you because so many other great musicians are out there.”
“Maybe,” Shane said, “but there’s also an awful lot of recording contracts for talented souls,” he said. “I think that anytime somebody’s really good, an avenue is out there for him to be heard.”
“I could always give lessons,” he said and then made a face. “But that really doesn’t have much appeal at this point.”
“How about just playing at weddings and stuff?”
“That doesn’t appeal either,” he said. “Maybe bars again though.” Then he mentioned the email that Jessica had brought him a couple weeks earlier, if not a month ago by now.
“That might be a great idea,” Shane said. “If you can get by with working a couple nights a week, and that’s enough to tide you over for now,” he said, “why not? One of the things I’d like to see in your life is to avoid the heavy stress load that you used to have,” he said. “Nothing sets someone back further than that kind of stress. I’ve seen it bring the healing to a complete stop.”
“I hear you,” Lance said, “and that was something I was just considering.”
“You need to figure out what you’ll do when you’re done here,” he said, “so you have a place to go. That’s a part of the exit planning. It doesn’t have to be a forever plan but should offer a solid transition that is good for several months at least.”
“I know,” he said. “I just haven’t managed to get to town to figure out the housing element.”
“Talk to Dani about it,” he said. “Nobody here does the transition without her help,” Shane said in a serious tone. “The fact that you’re even looking at a transition is huge, and I’m not saying it’ll be a month from now because I don’t know where the rest of your team is at,” he said. “But I am telling you that I hope to get you to that 100 percent by the end of the month.”
“Except I’m looking for that one-twenty,” he said.
Shane grinned. “That’s all right,” he said
, “and, if you reach for that same 120 percent in your music,” he said, “you’ll go very far.”
“I’m not even looking to go far,” he said. “I think I’m looking to write the music of my heart and to maybe use that to heal the rest of me,” he said.
“Go for it,” Shane said. “I can’t imagine anything better for you.”
Chapter 16
Two days later, on Friday, Lance asked her a question that really surprised her.
“Where do you live?”
“I’ve been living at Hathaway House,” she said, “though that won’t be for much longer though.”
“Why is that?” he asked, looking at her in surprise. “You’re moving?”
“It was supposed to be temporary, just to get settled,” she said, “and the temporary turned to all this time. I should be heading back into town, where I can carve out more of a life beyond Hathaway House, so I am vacating my apartment for another employee.”
“Ouch,” he said. “That sounds like you’re trying to get away from me.”
“Really? I wouldn’t expect that you would be here all that much longer,” she teased.
He nodded. “That’s true, and I was figuring out about an apartment or something in town, since I won’t be here forever.”
“Right,” she said. “Maybe a ground-floor place?”
“Maybe,” he said, “or at least no stairs. I guess I could handle an elevator. I’d kind of like to be more in the country though,” he said. “I just don’t know what the options are.”
“I don’t either,” she said, “but Dani would be a good resource on that.”
“Of course,” he said with a laugh. “It sounds like Dani has the information on a ton of things.”
“She doesn’t get rid of people just because they’re done at Hathaway,” she said with a smile. “I know she visits some of the guys who used to live here. She checks up on them to make sure that they’re adapting well to the outside world.”