Embrace The Suck (A Stepbrother Special Forces Novel)

by Kenzie, Sophia

  Her parachute hadn’t opened, and now I knew it wasn’t going to.

  “Hank! Fly lower!” I screamed as I unbuckled my seatbelt and stole one of the girl’s packs. He zoomed straight down, trying to get as close to her flailing body as he could without getting so close that it would no doubt turn ugly.

  But she was still quite a distance, and I would need to move fast.

  “I’m jumping! Take everyone else down!”

  I didn’t wait a second longer. I jumped headfirst, streamlining my body the best I could to get to her with enough time to pull the chute for both of us.

  It was something I had never done before, and hoped that in my continued years of service, I never would have to do.

  And now I was speeding through the open air, hoping to save the life of a girl I had been too proud to help, although I should have known better.

  All because of my fucking jealousy.

  “Hannah! Hannah!” I tried to call out to her, as I got closer. “Hannah reach your hands out to me!”

  She wasn’t responding.

  “Hannah!”

  Nothing.

  She must have passed out from the shock.

  Suddenly, nothing else mattered.

  If I didn’t catch her… If I didn’t catch her… If I didn’t…

  Oh God!

  BOOK THREE

  Chapter One

  Hannah

  “Hannah! Hannah!” I heard my name in the breeze.

  I felt light, serene- as if I was floating. The rush of the wind on my face was comforting, like I was being cuddled up in a big, billowy blanket. There was a sense of peace that filled me and for just a brief second, I was completely in the moment, feeling all the things I was meant to feel.

  And then my eyes shot open.

  I was falling. And I was falling fast. I wiggled my fingers, making sure I still held control of my body, and once confirmed, quickly moved them to my chest. I pulled my parachute cord.

  Nothing.

  I pulled the back up.

  Nothing.

  Right. It all came rushing back to me. I had successfully jumped from the spinning helicopter, but once I reached the appropriate altitude to release my parachute, I soon discovered my pack was faulty. I threw my arms and legs out, hoping to slow my body with wind resistance, but the shock of it all must have caused me to lose consciousness.

  I wasn’t floating. I was falling.

  “Hannah!” I heard my name again. It was distant, almost fleeting, but I wasn’t making it up. I twisted my neck as best I could, considering the speed at which I was traveling, and stared up into the bright blue sky. There was another body not too far from me. His features were hidden due to the back lighting of the morning sun, but as soon as my mental capacity was in tact, I knew it had to be Charlie. He was the only logical choice for my possible savior.

  I continued to flail about, hoping to increase the resistance and slow my body down, while he zoomed headfirst toward me. I think he was coming closer, gaining on me, but the sheer speed of our dive caused my depth perception to be a little wonky.

  “Charlie?” I tried to call out over the zing of the moving air.

  He lifted his hands to me, motioning for me to reach out. I tried, but we were still too far away. The trees, the rivers, the roads, even the cars were becoming more and more visible, clear, close. I began to doubt we would make it at all.

  I reached out again. This time we were closer, but not close enough to grab on. I wanted to tell him we were too near to the ground, that he should pull his chute and save himself, but I didn’t have the energy to waste on speech, and the likelihood that he’d be able to hear me through the thick air was too slim to even try.

  And the likelihood that he would dare listen to me was even slimmer.

  Stab after stab, attempt after attempt, I willed him to give up and let me fall, but he didn’t dare read my mind. So I closed my eyes and reached out again.

  I felt his fingers touch mine. We were so close. So close, I could see his face. I could make out his expression.

  He was scared. Of that, I was certain.

  And of course I was scared. If this weren’t successful, I would end up as a pile of mush on the ground.

  Oh my God, I could die. I could actually die. And I wasn’t ready to die. Everything instantly became real. With as much might as I could muster, I threw my arms out to him, propelling my body through the air. My fingers clasped around his forearms, and his mine. Our feet flew out in opposite directions as if we were a giant star in the sky.

  “Hannah!” He screamed out. “You need to grab onto me!”

  “How?” I screamed back. I didn’t know how to grab on any more than I already was.

  “Wrap your legs around mine. On the count of three, we’ll both shoot our legs down toward the ground!”

  I nodded, trying to calm my breathing. I didn’t dare look down to see how much time we had left.

  “Are you ready?”

  I nodded my weary head as fast as I could.

  “One… Two… Three!”

  We propelled our lower halves toward each other, and I was somehow able to grab his calf with the back of my knee. From there, I grabbed his hip with my other leg, and one at a time let go of my death grip on his forearms to wrap my arms around his ribs, just under his parachute pack.

  “I’m ready!” I screamed up to him, not at all sure if I was telling the truth.

  “Okay!” He nodded, the look of fear still burning in his eyes.

  His one hand wrapped around my bicep as the other moved to the parachute cord. I squeezed my eyes shut… and waited.

  With a jerk, we were both pulled up into the wind. My grip loosened slightly, but I clutched again, finding a better position as we continued down, our fall now much slower than the one we had just experienced.

  We were safe. Well, relatively.

  Charlie let go of the cords that are generally used to steer the parachute in the direction of your destination, and instead reached down to get a better hold on me. I was not about to complain. We could land in the river for all I cared.

  “Can you climb up a little higher?” He called down to me.

  “Climb?” I questioned? “Can’t I just stay like this?” I begged, not wanting to dare try my hand at climbing up his body while in mid air.

  He tried to reason with me. “I need my legs free for when we touch down.”

  Not if we landed in the river… I thought to myself, but I knew there was a slim chance of that actually happening, so I agreed to try.

  Slowly, I skirted my way up his body until my legs were wrapped around his hips and my arms around his neck. He wrapped his own arms around my back to the point where I almost couldn’t breath, but again, I wasn’t about to complain. Somehow, falling through the air without a working parachute attached to myself, this man made me feel safe.

  “Brace yourself. We’re coming down.” He spoke directly into my ear.

  I wasn’t quite sure if I could much more brace myself, but I at least prepared to feel the bump.

  Because of the limited time with the chute open, we were coming down much faster than I had ever experienced. When we hit the line of the trees, Charlie gave me a warning, and then let go of me to grab the steering line. He managed to even us out just before I felt the crash of the ground. He stumbled a bit, almost causing me to fall from his clutches, but I managed to stay strong until I watched the center cell of the parachute touch down on the ground.

  I blinked my eyes fast, and lowered my feet to the ground, joyous to feel the dirt under my boots. I took one final breath of relief before taking a quick peek at my watch. I had to know.

  The entire jump, from the moment I left the chopper to the moment we touched down was less than two minutes.

  And without a shred of doubt, I can honestly say that it was the absolute longest two minutes of my entire life.

  “Are you okay?” Charlie placed his hands on my shoulder as I attempted to find my
footing. “Hannah.” He started yelling much louder than he need to yell, “Are you okay?”

  “I am…” I jumped back at him, but then looked around; making sure that was a real fact. “Are you o--?”

  I stopped mid-word. No, he was not okay.

  He just didn’t realize it. “I’m fine.”

  “Charlie.” I felt my stomach churn. “Your leg.” Like a child, I pointed to his calf, my finger shaking in fear.

  “Shit.” Charlie yelled out as he saw the thin, white bone sticking out from his ripped pants. “Shit. Shit. Shit.”

  It’s okay. It’s okay. My mind raced, speeding through the possible next steps that we could take. And then everything calmed. It was like I was floating again, but this time, it would through time. Everything around me was moving in slow motion. Without speaking a single word, I quickly reached down to his belt, grabbing the satellite phone he was carrying. I radioed to the other end, letting them know the situation and our coordinates.

  “We need a medical team here as well. Charlie has a compound fracture.” I lowered myself to the ground to get a better look at the open wound. “I believe it’s his fibula. Make sure you have gauze, saline, and if they’re readily available, we need to start him on intravenous antibiotics… Gentamicin and Cephalexin would be good.”

  After receiving confirmation that assistance was on its way, I helped lower Charlie to the ground and asked him to hold still while I took a better look. I grabbed my keys off my belt, flipping to my pocketknife, and began to tear at the leg of his pants. I didn’t dare try to roll up his pants; for fear that I would aggravate the already nasty wound.

  Once I had successfully cut the cloth from his knee down, I bit at my lip and held my breath as I brought my eyes in line with the jutted out bone. There was a lot of blood, but otherwise, it looked clean. I saw nothing that would need to be cleared from the wound before healing could begin. I then removed his boot and sock, and checked his pulses to make sure there was no serious arterial injury. Both his dorsalis pedis- the pulse on the top of his foot- and his posterior tibial pulse were strong, so that was a welcome relief.

  I then checked the neurological status of his leg by going through the common sensation points to rule out any nerve dysfunction.

  “Do you feel this?”

  I pinched slightly at the first web space on the dorsum of his foot between his big toe and the second toe to test the deep peroneal nerve.

  “Yes.”

  “Good.” I calmly smiled outwardly, though inwardly I was freaking out.

  I moved on to check the posterior tibial nerve and the sural nerve, which he confirmed to have sensation in as well.

  “Can you wiggle your toes?” I looked up at him.

  “Hannah, is this absolutely necessary?” Charlie tried to pull back from me, but I held him in place.

  “Yes.” It was all I said before continuing on with the exam. And my stern look happened to put him nicely in his place.

  Maybe it wasn’t wholly necessary, and I was sure once he was brought to the hospital he would go through all this again, but it made me feel as though I was at least doing something. I wasn’t just sitting there waiting for someone else to swoop in and take over. I had a certain set of skills, and right now, they were at least somewhat helpful, so I was going to use them.

  “How does your calf feel?” I moved on.

  He looked at me as if I were daft. “Fuck, Hannah, it hurts.”

  “I understand that, Charlie.” I tried to remain calm. One of us had to. “Does it hurt more than you believe it should hurt?”

  He shrugged while plastering on his face a sarcastic grin. “I’ve been stabbed, shot, and almost blown up, but I’ve never had a bone sticking out of my leg. Tell me, Hannah, how much should I believe it should hurt?”

  I wanted to slap him. He didn’t need to be a complete jerk about it. I was just trying to help. But he couldn’t see that. He was angry and in pain, and I was the only one around to take it out on. His reactions made sense.

  “Does your calf feel tight?” I tried to stay focused on the task at hand.

  “It feels like there’s a bone sticking out of it.” He replied in the same tone he had been using since we began this little exam.

  “Point your foot.”

  “No.” He smiled, acting like a child.

  “Charlie, I’m trying to make sure that you are not suffering from Compartment Syndrome, which left untreated for a very short amount of time could cause you to lose your leg. Is that what you want?”

  With that warning, he did the rest of the tests without argument and without flinching. After a few more minutes, I thanked him for cooperating and concluded that he did not have compartment syndrome.

  “You’re lucky. That sucks.” I teased, trying to at least lighten the mood slightly.

  “Sounds like it.” He agreed.

  After that, I elevated his leg onto my bent knee and we waited for the medic to find us. I knew the only reason I wasn’t getting reamed at regarding the stunt I had just pulled while jumping out of the helicopter was because our focus was on his open fracture, so I dared not bring up any other conversation, fearing that we would find our way back to that one. I really didn’t want to be yelled at right about now.

  I was still very tired.

  Chapter Two

  Charlie

  I was impressed. She didn’t freak out, and she didn’t freeze up. She saw that I needed medical attention, and she gave it to me.

  And, in all actuality, it was really hot. Sure, I was in pain, and sure, I was overtly angry about the entire situation, but even after she had almost fallen to certain death, she got right back to work as soon as she was needed. And those little hands were working on me.

  So really, honestly, how wrong of me would it be to fuck her again?

  Damn, I really needed to make up my mind.

  When we got to the hospital, I was tested for arterial damage, nerve damage, and compartment syndrome. I told them I had already passed those tests with flying colors, but the doctors didn’t seem to find that amusing. So they tested me again.

  And yet again, just as I had told them I would, I passed those tests with flying colors. I asked to be released after they put my leg in a cast, but apparently they still needed to keep me for a few hours for ‘observation’. It was extremely inconvenient, as I hadn’t planned on spending my entire day at a hospital, but alas, arguing did nothing, and I was stuck.

  Just as I felt I was about to die from combined boredom and frustration, I heard her sweet voice at the door. “Knock, knock.”

  “Go away.” I put up a fight, although I had no intention of arguing for more than a few beats. I just wanted to seem like a badass.

  Her puffy eyes sunk down; I could tell she had been crying.

  “Fine, get in here.” I broke too easily.

  Her lips twisted, ever so subtly, into a smile. It was quite obvious she had no idea what to say to me. I honestly had no idea what to say to her either.

  Hannah bit down on her bottom lip. “I’m really sorry.”

  I shrugged, blowing her off. “Yeah.”

  “I am!” She fought. “I’m still a bit shaken up, but I’m sorry.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest, standing her ground.

  I didn’t say anything, so she continued on.

  “And this can’t solely be blamed on me. You refused to check my pack.”

  My head shot toward her, and my eyes glared. “You think I’m going to be following you around for the rest of your days, Hannah? Am I supposed to be there to check every single chute you pack? That’s not how this works, kid.” It was harsh, but it was the real truth.

  She swallowed hard, almost said something, but instead raised her shoulders.

  I kept on my rant. “I am here to decide whether you are ready to be part of our team. And obviously, judging by your lack of concentration and commitment today, I already have my answer.”

  She quickly looked away from me,
clearly hurt by my accusation.

  I knew I was being more harsh on her than I would to any other person I was training, but no one I had trained had almost gotten themselves killed. She had been unfocused, unprepared, and unreliable.

  But, that aside, she was right: I should have checked her pack. I didn’t get to check her the day before, being that I didn’t let her jump, so this was her first attempt without someone holding her hand. I had packed at least a thousand chutes in my day. She had packed maybe five.

  Oh God, as I rolled over the facts in my head, I realized how stupid I had been. How had I let her get so in my head that I felt it was right to punish her for just being her? Sure, the program was meant to be difficult and taxing, but we weren’t supposed to let our trainees jump to their death. We weren’t supposed to be hard on them just to prove a point… especially when it came to something as terrifying as jumping out of an out-of-control helicopter for the first time.