by Lan LLP
My palms are clammy, and my tongue is all knotted up. I’m struggling to find the considerate words I’ve been practicing over and over in my head. It’s not going to be easy no matter how prepared I think I am. “Richard, I don’t know how to tell you this. I’m…um…going to meet Carson for lunch today. We’ll be seeing more of each other. Please don’t be upset with me,” I release in one big breath. My eyes are moist, and I’m fighting hard to hold back tears as my voice becomes shakier. The idea of hurting anyone’s feelings torments me. I don’t want to be the cause of anyone’s sadness.
He looks both troubled and wounded. He’s also at a loss for words. Finally, he takes my hands into his and says, “Lily, I’m hurt that you didn’t give me a fair chance to show you how much I care for you. I know you’d feel differently about me if you did. But no matter what happens, I’ll always be here for you. This will never change. I care for you more than you’ll allow yourself to know.” His voice remains soft and brittle.
“Richard, please don’t be hurt because of me. You know how much I care for you. Both you and Amelia are the closest friends I have on this island. I cherish what the three of us have.” My tone is pleading and shaky while my eyes immediately well up with emotions, but I refuse to show him tears. It’ll only add misunderstanding to his already disheartened state. He pulls me into his chest and hugs me tightly. I slowly drop my guards, and welcome the comfort of his caring arms. Since the first day we met on the plane, Richard has continued to be a nurturing friend, always offering a hand to me whenever I need it. This is why I’m struggling so badly. I hate that I’m the cause of his sadness.
I know this soothing moment has to eventually come to an end, but I let him appreciate it just a tad bit longer. “Richard, I have to go,” I tell him glumly. Disappointment is painted all over his face as I break away from his embrace. I leave a bittersweet kiss on his cheek and gesture for him to release his hold of me. Sadly rejected, he drops his arms to his sides, and I slowly walk away.
Carson is punctual as he said he would be with his SUV parked in the same spot as this morning. The door to my side is promptly opened the second our eyes meet. I try my best to conceal my fragile emotions as I walk closer to him. I don’t want to have to explain my Richard situation to him. We’ve barely known each other, but a few days, so I don’t feel like I owe him any explanations. His face is intimidatingly expressionless as I approach him. What could possibly have happened in the elapse time between us to leave him in this kind of state? No friendly hello. I’m baffled by his quick change in mood. “Hi, how was your day?” I try my best to deter his unpleasantry with a forced smile.
“Fine,” he responds curtly with narrowing eyes. His temperament is bothering the heck out of me. At this point, I debate whether I should get into his SUV or walk away. We definitely don’t know each other well enough for him to act like a total prick, but I do anyways against my better judgment. He shuts the door behind me with a loud slam, startling me in my seat. I can feel my temper slowly rising, but I force myself not to act on it, so I look straight ahead to avoid his tapering eyes. One Twizzler, two Twizzlers, three…, I count in my head to level my erupting mood that’s about to detonate. Candy always seems to sweeten up any situation for me, especially Twizzlers. If only I had some right now, I can chew my irritation away. With a phony smile, Carson waves at the red uniform guards as we drive off in testy, stark silence. My eyes can’t refrain from rolling. Once we exit the campus and hit the main road, he carelessly speeds off. Now I’m pissed. “Carson, stop this damn vehicle!” I yell out. “Let me out if you’re going to continue to act like a jerk! I don’t want to die because of your recklessness,” I angrily demand.
Carson is stunned as he slows the SUV down. I’m guessing he’s never been called a jerk by a woman. Well, let this be his first and not his last time either. My heart is beating so rapidly that I swear I can almost hear it. I hate confrontations, but I hate skin-crawling behaviors even more. He parks the SUV along the side of the road with the blinking emergency lights on. The thick silence between us is slowly cut with his deep, accusative voice. “I saw you in Richard’s arms, hugging and sealing whatever it was with a kiss. Would you care to explain yourself?” He moves his arms in front of his chest and crosses them tightly. His burning green eyes and crude tone tells me he’s jealous. Carson’s possessiveness doesn’t suit him, but this time I can’t fault him altogether, I did look rather guilty.
“Richard and I are good friends. I had to explain to him why I chose to have lunch with you instead of him.” My voice is mellow, hoping to smother my temper.
“And why would he be upset about you missing lunch?” he angrily interrupts.
“Will you please let me finish? Richard wants to be more than just good friends, but I told him I chose you,” I reply in annoyance. There’s a slight look of relief on his face as soon as I finished my sentence. I think I’m making some progress, thank god. “I hope you’ll understand that Richard and I will always be tight. We have a special friendship.” He looks pissed again.
“I don’t like seeing you with another man, even if he’s just a friend. I know we barely know each other, but I want you all to myself. Any time with you is valuable to me.” His eyes are narrowed and dark. He sounds like a spoiled child who gets whatever he wants, but I’m not one to easily overlook this kind of self-centered behavior.
“Carson, I’m not budging, and besides, we’ve never said we’re exclusive,” I smart off to him. I can be stubborn, too.
Uh-oh, I finally pushed him beyond his breaking point. “As of now, we’re EXCLUSIVE!” he raises his voice and slowly enunciates each word, stressing the very last one. I look at him, appalled. “I want to be the only man in your life,” he adds with dominance in his tone. Who the heck does he think he is? My sensible side tells me to run for the hills because he’s a possessive jerk, but I don’t want to. My feet are being obstinate. They won’t move. I think I’m already emotionally hooked on him. Stupidly, I decide to forgive his mood and set my uncertainties aside.
“I’d like to grab some lunch and get back to my studies if that’ll be okay with you. And just to let you know, I’m buying lunch today since you had dinner last night.” I poke my finger into his hard chest, letting him know that my decision is unbending. He doesn’t put up a fight and willingly nods his head. He shuts off the blinking lights and drives the SUV onto the main road again. His hard expression tells me he’s not completely settled yet. His brows are tightly knitted, and his lips are pressed so firmly together that his cheeks are deeply sunken in, accentuating his clenched L-shape jawline. Wow, even when he’s upset, he still looks incredibly sexy. He’ll have to get used to not always getting what he wants, especially with me. I won’t conform to his norm. It’s not in my nature to be passive. Redirecting my attention to my pathology book on my lap, I hope to stifle my temper altogether. For now, I’ll excuse his overbearing behavior since we’re still figuring each other out, but I won’t be that yielding later on.
The SUV pulls into the lot of a quaint little French-Vietnamese restaurant. We’re seated in the far back. He slides my chair out for me and then sits across. I’m glad to see that he can still be a gentleman even when he’s in a foul mood. Carson orders a bowl of noodle soup, and I order a sandwich.
“Have you seen your new place yet?” I try my best to change the unpleasant mood between us.
“No, not yet. I had a couple of loose ends to tie up this morning and haven’t had a chance to see it. I’m hoping we can go there today if you’re still up for it.” A hopeful expression spreads across his face.
“Sure, I’d love to.” The coldness between us is slowly defrosting, and I feel better about my decision of coming with him instead of fleeing.
The mouthwatering aroma of food fills the air as our waitress serves our individual selections. It reminds me so much of home and my mother that I start miss her even more. I’m sure this isn’t a random restaurant choice. Carson seems very particul
ar to details, so he probably remembered that I’m part Vietnamese. We both appreciate our delicious meals, and he even offers me a taste of his warm soup.
“Mmm…this is almost as good as my mom’s,” I purr the words out, savoring the yummy flavor.
“You’ll have to take me to see her for the real deal someday.” He smiles, seeking forgiveness with his alluring eyes.
“Maybe, if your mood ever lightens up,” I reply with a hint of Lillian-attitude.
“I’m sorry I acted like a complete asshole back there. You didn’t deserve that. I’ll do my best to be more understanding, but please be patient with me when I’m not,” he sincerely pleads. “By the way, you should never have to fear for your life when you’re with me. I’d never do anything to endanger you. As I’ve told you before, I’ll always keep you safe with me.” His expression tells me he feels bad for overstepping his boundaries. I reach for his hand, assuring him that I’m happy with his decision to be more understanding.
Our pretty young waitress comes over with our bill. I notice her eyes have been fixed on him since we first entered the restaurant. I can’t blame her. I don’t think any woman can resist an opportunity to catch a compelling glimpse of this stunning man. She makes several attempts to get his attention, but fails. The expression on her face is full of disappointment. She’s probably thinking how could he not notice her adorable face, and why is he with that average looking girl? But instead of sharing his attention with her, he gives me an innocent plea with his charming eyes. “Let me get this. It’s not much at all, and besides, you’re a student. You’re killing my ego here.” He places his hand over the bill.
I remain firm with my decision and refuse to fall for his persuasion. “No! I’m not the type of girl who takes advantage of people, even ones with lots of money.” I narrow my eyes at him. I might be struggling, but I can afford to buy lunch. Besides, he doesn’t have to know that I’m on a full ride scholarship with living expense allowance. I pull the check away from his grip and place a twenty dollar bill on the table.
“Okay, I respect your principle. You’re a brat, Lily.” He taps my nose with his index finger. I give him a baby girl pout which is very unLillian of me. Carson is severely affecting me, and I have no control over it.
Chapter 9
Lillian Ly
As much as I wanted to see his new place, it’s already getting late. Our lengthy conversation at the restaurant was not included in our time of being together. I have a really difficult exam to study for, and I’m not feeling overly confident about passing it because of my handsome distraction. He understands of course and reluctantly drives me back to my dorm. When we arrive, Carson insists that he walks me to my room to make sure I get there safely. I’m easily convinced by his oozing charm and dimpled smile.
We step into the elevator together, just the two of us. His arms wrap around my body, holding me captive with my back against his chest as the doors slowly close in front of us. He inhales and swallows my scent into his system, savoring it with his eyes partially sealed. “The first time we stepped into this elevator, I secretly stared at your reflection, trying to capture every stunning detail of you,” he whispers into my ears.
“Do you want to know a secret?” I ask him timidly. He nods his head, anxious to hear what I have to share with him. “I did the same thing, too. If you don’t already know, you’re kind of sweet on the eyes,” I tell him, embarrassed and then look away from our reflection.
“Why are you still shy around me, Lily?” He turns his head to capture my eyes, demanding an explanation.
“I don’t know. I just am,” I answer him honestly and shrug my shoulders while shielding my eyes from his.
“Don’t be. I’m not that intimidating, and I don’t bite—hard,” he teasingly insists with his irresistible, crooked smile.
The elevator finally stops on my floor. Two girls in shorts and t-shirts wait impatiently for the doors to open. Their eyes instantly zoom in on Carson’s handsome face as he takes my hand and leads me out, paying no attention to them. I bet this oh god, look at that gorgeous man reaction is completely common for him. I can still hear their breathy whispers as the doors shut behind us, making me secretly proud that he’s exclusively all mine.
Click, the door unlocks with the slide of my keycard, allowing us both into my room. I’m thankful Amelia isn’t here, making it less awkward for me. When I’m around Carson, the butterflies in my stomach are constantly restless. I can’t help feeling excited, nervous and lusty all at the same time. He nosily inspects my little humble space that I call home, skimming his eyes around the room. It’s not much, but it’s mine and I’m proud of it. Carson drops his bottom on the edge of my bed and asks me, “So this bed is where most of the action happens, where you do most of your studying.” I nod. His body falls back on my bed with his head in his right hand on top of my pillow. He lures me to him with his persuasive index finger. With no hesitation, I walk to him, yielding to his request and lower my body next to his. He rolls gracefully on top of me, supporting his body with his strong arms, coercing me to look into his eyes. “This bed should welcome no one else, but you and me, do you understand?” he warns me in a deep, stern voice. I shoot him a clueless look, pretending not to understand his hidden meaning. He begins to tickle me relentlessly. I laugh hysterically, trying to free myself from his grip.
“OMGeez, this is the worst form of torture for me. Please stop!” I shriek while struggling to breathe from laughing and freeing myself from his hold. “I’ll die if you don’t stop. Can you live with that kind of guilt?” I warn him, still giggling and yelling at the same time. He gives me the same clueless look I gave him earlier, such an evil man, lacking any kind of mercy. “Okay, okay I understand,” I squeal to surrender, and the tickling stops. Air. I breathe like a lost person wandering in the desert thirsting for water. It’s almost impossible to quench my lungs with enough oxygen because I was laughing so hard.
“I’m glad we have an understanding. I knew you would eventually see things my way.” A wicked smile is immediately pasted on his handsome, smug face. I give him squinty evil eyes for his relentless torture, making his smile spread even wider.
He flips me on top of him, straddles my legs firmly around his waist, and pulls me down to kiss him. This man is unbelievably intense. I have no idea why he’s determined to tease me until I go crazy, but I’ll show him, I’ll give him a taste of his own medicine. I boldly unbutton his shirt, revealing his hard, muscular chest. His hazel eyes grow intensely large, watching me undress him. My hands travel the length of his firm pecs and rippled abs. I invisibly write Lillian on the right side of his chest with my index finger, and it makes him smile. This is my special place, my head laid there the first night we spent together. I pepper tiny kisses all along his bared chest and then trace my way back to his lips. His arousal is obvious; I can feel his erection pressed against my aching sweet spot. My scheme backfires on me, and I fall for my own seduction. My panties are completely wet.
He slowly breaks away from our kissing. “You have a lot of studying to do, young lady.” His voice is slightly fragile, and his breathing is short and unsteady. I’m disappointed, watching him hurriedly button his shirt up and rush off the bed. Where does he find his strength? I’m defenseless when it comes to resisting him. He walks over to my desk and grabs the only personal thing that identifies me in this room, a picture frame of my mom, two best friends and me. “I assume these people in your picture are the top three in your life?” he asks while staring at it.
I nod, still in a daze from our kissing. “I love them more than anything,” I tell him as I run my fingers through my tousled hair.
“Maybe one day, I might have a special spot on your desk too,” he implies, and I understand his encrypted statement completely.
“Yes, maybe one day,” I reply, and he smiles with delight from my response. Carson warily settles down on the edge of my bed again, maintaining a safe distance from me, for my sake, I’m sure. �
��Good luck with your studies. I’ll try my best to leave you alone, but I can’t guarantee it’ll be completely possible.” He gives me a Carson-signature kiss and walks out the door; I’m gasping, and yearning for more. Damn him for leaving me in this helpless condition.
Carson Bradley
She drives me absolutely wild, so I can’t trust myself around her. While I still have an insignificant shred of self-control, I better leave her room with some dignity intact. There’s no telling what I’d do to her if I lay under her slender, supple body a second longer. Her sweetness is ready and willing for me to appreciate as she hovers over my painful erection. The look of disappointment on her face makes it more unbearable for me to deprive her of a need we both want. All I could think of is how good it would feel, being buried deep inside her hotness.
I’ve accomplished my task of leaving my scent on her bed for this evening, so it’s time for me to go. Though I may have led her to believe that I have self-control, this is far from being true. The only way I can shake this aching urge off is by standing under an ice cold shower for the next hour. The thought of not seeing or touching her for the next few days is unhinging me. Am I really this pathetic? Get a grip, man, I scold myself. How did I let this woman bleed into my system so deeply and quickly? I need a distraction—work. This has been the farthest thing from my mind since Lillian entered my world. Before her, I immersed my entire existence in work. I knew or felt nothing else but passion for my research, and now I’m convinced there’s more to life than work.
I get into my SUV and drive to a private dock with Owen’s direction. He found a beautiful, secluded property on a small island with breath-taking views of the ocean. I knew it was the perfect place for me to spend some of my weekends with Lily as soon as the images popped on my laptop yesterday. I didn’t care how much it cost, I told Owen to purchase it immediately.