Beginning with Forever

by Lan LLP

  I crank my head around to see who it is. Lillian. Her terrified eyes stare at my lethal expression. My heart lodges in my throat as it climbs up from my chest. “Stop Carson! Don’t hurt him!” she screams and cries out in horror. “Leave him alone and get out of here!” She pushes me off of him and sits down by his side. “Richard, are you okay? I’m sorry you’re hurt because of me.” I can’t believe what’s happening. She’s defending him and telling me to fuck off, pretty much. I’m seeing tiny glimpses of my nightmare become reality.

  “Lily, how could you?” I ask her with hurt and agony in my tone, but her eyes remain icy and distant.

  “How could she what? While you’ve moved on with your choice of women, Lil’s been figuring out how to provide a future for your baby. You left her when she needed you most,” Richard interjects and stabs me with confirmation of Lily’s pregnancy, but the baby is mine, not his. I don’t get it. The news knocks the equilibrium out of me, causing me to fall back onto my hands. What a fool I’ve been for doubting her love for me. I’m hate myself for falsely accusing her of indecency. I feel like a prick…an asshole. How can I ever make it up to her?

  “Richard, be quiet!” Lily yells, wanting him to shut up. “Don’t you dare say another word! I swear…,” she threatens him with glaring eyes.

  I grab her elbow and draw her close to me. “Is it true? Is it my baby, Lily? Why are you hiding this from me?” I demand answers from her.

  She coldly looks away from me, avoiding my eyes and questions, and then heatedly yanks her arm free from my grip and distances herself from me. Intentionally ignoring me, she turns to Richard and asks, “Are you okay? I need to clean that cut as soon as possible before it gets infected.” She places her hand on his face, examining it carefully.

  “I’m fine. You and Carson need to work things out for your baby’s sake. I’ll clean myself up and attend to our afternoon patients,” he encourages and brushes her shoulder reassuringly. She stares back at him, worried. He lifts himself off the ground and warmly extends his hand to me. I’m gratefully surprised as I accept it. Sadly walking away, he leaves Lily in my company. What a noble act. I came here with every intention of exposing his deplorable side and discover an honorable one instead. I now understand why Lily respects him so much. Can I really fault him for desperately wanting Lillian? No. I probably would’ve done the same thing if I was in his shoes.

  I offer Lily my hand. She takes it briefly to pull herself up and then quickly breaks our connection. It hurts to see her middle finger devoid of my ring, but I can’t dwell on that injury now. I’m going to be a father. “Lily, please talk to me,” I beg her. “Why are you keeping our unborn baby from me?”

  “Why did you see Bianca when you promised me you would cut her out of your life? I don’t want our baby to know a father who can’t commit,” she replies harshly with white knuckles and scorching eyes.

  “Is that why you’ve cut me out? You think I’ve run back to Bianca?” I rake my fingers through my hair out of frustration and sigh heavily. “For your information, I’ve been drowning myself in sorrow because of you. I thought you and…it doesn’t matter what I thought. You’re the only one for me. My life will never be a complete circle without you in it. Didn’t you once tell me that about us?” She nods her head in agreement, but still maintains a cautious distance from me.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that your prior obligation is Bianca?” she grills me.

  “I’d already made arrangements with my attorney to end my business connection with Bianca at her fashion show. I didn’t want you to worry about the little details in my life while you prepared for your exam.”

  “Bianca will never be a little detail for me. I hope you know that,” she huffs and crosses her arms in front of her chest.

  “I swear nothing happened between her and me. Call Hayden and Isabella. They’ll vouch for me. I spent that night on their sofa.” The startled look on her face tells me that she knows nothing about her two friends’ flourishing relationship. That will be something we’ll have to talk about after our problem is resolved. “You’ve had my heart since that first day we met at the hospital. I love you. Why can’t you believe me? It’s been one of the most depressing times of my life without you.”

  Her livid expression is impenetrable. “Who’s Nikki?” she questions me with suspicious eyes.

  I can’t help, but grin, seeing her adorable jealous face. “She’s my cousin. She helped me get through those two hellish weeks.” Lily’s frown dissipates as soon as she hears that Nik is family. I can’t stand the gap between us anymore. It’s killing me to be so close and not be able to touch her, so I pull her into my arms. I swear I’ll never let her go again. I pressed my lips over hers. She vaguely resists me initially with her tight fists against my chest, but then succumbs willingly to her desires.

  After getting her fill of me, she takes in a breath and asks, “Carson, what took you so long? Why didn’t you come sooner? Why did you call me and accuse me of not loving you anymore?” How do I answer her questions without telling her about Richard and those haunting pictures?

  “I had insecurity issues, but it won’t happen again. I’ll never doubt our love.” I’m hoping this will suffice her, but by the doubtful look on her face, I don’t think she’s convinced. She parts her lips to ask more questions, but I place two fingers over them and hush her, “Sh…no more questions.” I seal my lips over her mouth again and kiss her breathlessly to smother any further inquiries.

  Lillian Ly

  “Carson, I need to talk to Richard before I walk you out. I want to make sure he’s okay.” For the first time, Carson displays no signs of jealousy around Richard. He even appears concerned for him. We make our way down the hallway towards the examination rooms. Carson holds onto my hand, but stays securely planted outside in the hallway. Peeping my head in the common area, I see Amelia and Richard cooperatively managing the schedule. Their heads pop up immediately, nervously gauging my expression. “Hey guys, how’s our evening looking?” I casually ask them.

  “Lily, our schedule doesn’t include you this evening. Richard and I have everything under control. We voted and you’re taking the rest of the day off,” Amelia grins and winks at me.

  “I second that vote,” Richard adds and gestures with his index and middle finger.

  “There are lots of patients out there. I should stay a little longer,” I offer, feeling really guilty. After all, I helped organize this clinic with Richard’s parents’ generous donation. It’s only the second functional week, so I feel obligated to fulfill my duties. This is my dream, not theirs.

  “The answer is still ‘no.’ you have strict orders to go home. We absolutely don’t want to hear any more arguments from you,” Richard reconfirms.

  I release Carson’s hand and leave him at the entrance to walk over to my two dear friends. I hug them both affectionately, squeezing them with all the love I can offer. Amelia’s bear hugging ways are rubbing off on me. She’ll make me a touchy feely person, yet. “I love you both. I hope you know that.” I squeeze them even tighter. I sneak Richard an are you really okay look. He nods his head, and I’m comforted with his handsome swollen smile. “Get some ice on that puffy lip of yours, Dr. Stevens.” I give him a playful wink.

  I exit the room to find Carson talking on his phone. His voice is light and optimistic. “I’ll fill you in on the details when I get back. Can you arrange all of that for me?” is all I hear him say before he disconnects the call.

  “Who were you talking to?” I curiously inquire.

  “Owen. He’s been covering for me ever since I’ve been suffering from my Lillian-crisis.” He beholds me sternly and extends his palm out. I place my hand in it, and his fingers fold around mine. “Will you stay with me tonight? I’ve missed you.” I willingly nod my head because God knows I’ve missed him, too.

  We walk out to the front of the building to find a black limo waiting for us. The driver opens the backdoor for me. I step in first and the
n Carson follows with his hand splayed on my back. He sits down, turns to face me and immediately caresses my neck with both hands. “You and our baby will never be without me ever again.” He draws me urgently to his mouth. Oh, how I’ve yearned for him night after night when we were apart even when I thought he didn’t love me. I was so pathetic. He breaks our kiss long enough to instruct the driver to drop us off at his private dock and resumes his hunger for me. “Lil, I want you now.” He pays no attention to the driver who’s at an ear’s shot from us, pushing his usual self-control aside. He persuades my body down on the leather seat and begins to unbutton my white jacket.

  “Carson, the driver will see us,” I whisper while attempting to contain my heavy breathing. Our intimacy is personal and private to me. I don’t want to share it with anyone else.

  “It’s okay Lil. His job is to drive us to our destination, so he’ll be concentrating on the roads.” A naughty expression overtakes his guarded one. I’ve missed that beautiful one-sided dimpled smile. He leaves a burning path of kisses along my neck, between my tender, swelled breasts and down to my abdomen. “Hello baby, this is your father’s voice. I love you,” he speaks tenderly to my belly with fondness in his tone. I was wrong to keep our baby from him. It was unfair of me, regardless of how I felt about him.

  “I have ultrasound pictures of our Peanut if you’d like to see them. Peanut is perfect just like his or her daddy.” He lifts his head up and offers me another irresistible smile.

  “I’ll be the judge of that. I’ll let you know if I agree after I see pictures of our little nut.” He rolls his eyes at me. “Really Lil? The only name you could come up with is Peanut?”

  “Uh-huh. You weren’t around to object,” I slyly give him a guilt trip.

  “That’ll never happen again,” he assures while sincerely looking into my eyes. “You’re moving to Boston with me, starting tomorrow. Lily, I’m not asking this time. You will be coming with me without any resistance.” He stares me down. Carson has never been this demanding with me. I’m slightly intimidated, but no one bullies me to do anything I don’t want to. His authority may scare those who are employed by him, but not me. He can’t fire me.

  “Carson, I’m flattered that you’re taking your responsibility with our baby seriously, but I can’t drop everything here to go with you. I have obligations to my schooling and now, my new health clinic,” I challenge him, trying to conceal the shakiness in my voice. “I need time to sort things out.”

  “I predicted that you’ll be stubborn with me. My offer doesn’t have a time restriction, but I’ll only tolerate three months at the most. I’ll give you this time to finish up whatever it is you need to figure out and then after that, I’ll expect you to move in with me. I want you and our baby safe with me.” He buttons my jacket and helps me sit up. I have a knack for killing his buzz. “I don’t want to spend any more time away from you than I have to.

  I’m accommodating your obligations, so don’t take advantage of my patience. It doesn’t happen often.” He’s offering me a compromise. OMGeez, I’m so impressed. Talk about a blow to his ego, he’s not only giving into my demands, but is also having to wait for what he wants. I’m positive this isn’t an easy deed for him.

  “I promise I’ll be back in Boston with you as soon as the clinic is more established, and I’ll apply for Harvard Medical after our baby is born.” I see a faint smile spread across his handsome face. “Thank you for giving into my requests. I know it’s a lot to ask of you.” I lean into his lips and leave a tender essence of me there.

  He lowers his head to my belly, “Peanut, your mommy is one tenacious woman. She knows how to drive a hard bargain,” he laughs, and I giggle along with him. “Lily, will you at least fly back to Boston with me tomorrow? My parents will be ecstatic to get baby news from us. They’ve been eager to be grandparents for years, especially my mother. I would also like to ask your mother for her blessing to marry you.” He directs his beseeching eyes at me. I feel my throat tighten over a large invisible lump. I reach for my neck and attempt to swallow pass the lump, gasping for air. Did Carson say ‘marry’? Our relationship just leaped off a rampant roller coaster and now he wants to marry me. What’s his rush? Is it because of our baby? If this is the case, it’ll be a definite no for me. Commitment because of obligation is all wrong. Marriage should not be based on that alone.

  I clear my throat to ensure stability in my voice. “Carson, marriage is forever for me. It’s not something I decide on a whim and neither should you.”

  Again, he persuades my body to fall back on the leather seat and locks my head between his palms. His body is cautiously hovered over mine, supported by his forearms. I’m exactly where he wants me, face to face, trapped underneath him. It’s impossible to break free from his control. “Listen to me closely, Lily. I’m the CEO of an extremely powerful corporation. I never make whimsical decisions.” He presses his lips gently over mine and nips along my lower lip with his. “Every decision I make is calculated and dependent on solid facts.” More silky feathery kisses melt along my neck. “The exception is you. I rely on my heart instead. I love you and want to share forever with only you.” His trailing seduction of kisses and words leave me panting and breathless. I’m unraveling under his touch and sultry voice.

  “Carson, I need you,” I plead softly into his ear. I don’t care who sees us. I want him now. “I’ve missed you.” I reach for his leather belt with both hands and unloop it with one easy pull. His pants button and metal fastener were next to come undone. I lower his zipper to set his firm erection free. My breathing hastens from the sight of his throbbing rod, thinking how I’ve missed him filling me with pleasure. His hands urgently unbutton my jacket, a second time, while I loosen my drawstring to lower my pants. He lifts my scrub top up and over my head, glides his fingers underneath my bra straps and rolls them off my shoulders to expose my warm swollen breasts.

  “Lil, you’re beautiful and all mine, forever.” He sinks himself deep inside me, and I welcome our connection. He’s more cautious with my body, fear of hurting our baby, I assume. He absorbs my gratifying pants with his lips sealed over mine. Our bodies harden simultaneously as we near our climax, and then I feel his warm cum fill my pulsing insides. He continues to lie carefully on top of me. His breathing is still burdened, but lighter. “I can get use to this pregnancy hormone. I love your eagerness,” he teases. After regaining his control, he slowly pulls himself out of me and his cum flows down my thighs. Reaching for the tissue box nearby, he thoughtfully wipes it clean for me. “That will suffice until we get to our place,” he whispers into my ear and then nips my lobe between his lips.

  “I hear make-up sex is the best kind of sex,” I kid him breathlessly.

  “Well then I guess we’ll just be using the bedroom only.” He buries his wicked smile into the crook of my neck.

  I caress his face between my hands and lock into his sultry hazel eyes. “I will agree to marriage on one condition, it has to be after the birth of our baby. I want to give you enough time to decide.”

  “You already know what my heart wants. Time isn’t going to change my decision,” he confidently confirms.

  “The next challenge for you is to convince my mother. She’s the derivative of stubborn.” My mother has no clue about our relationship; let alone a baby and marriage. I know she won’t be ready for any of this, but I can’t hide my pregnancy from her for too much longer. I’ll be showing soon. “I’m pretty sure my mom will not welcome our baby news with the same excitement as your parents. I’m forewarning you. She might attempt to knock you out first and then be more inclined to listen afterwards. Where do you think I get my feistiness from?” I look at him with a clever smirk.

  “I’ve had lots of practice with a particular feisty and very challenging young woman. I think I’ll be able to handle your sweet mother.” He smiles playfully at me.

  “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I return his cunning response with the roll of my
amused eyes. My mother’s hardened outer shell is even more difficult to crack than mine. No man has been successful besides for my father. Carson’s ceaseless charm might be exhausted before he can convince her.

  Chapter 23

  Lillian Ly

  Once again, I’m racking up frequent flyer miles. I’m safely belted in and staring out the window as we taxi down the runway with Carson calmly holding onto my right hand. The lingering memory from last night’s endless passion is clearly present in my mind as well as my tender body and lips. As soon as we entered the house, he ripped our clothes off in record time. I was completely naked in his arms by the time we reached the bedroom. We spent the entire time in bed just as he said we would and took only one dinner break. He made love to me until I surrendered to exhaustion. I don’t doubt that his stamina could’ve continued until this morning.

  His sweet kiss on the back of my hand interrupts my blissful reverie. “How are you feeling?” he asks with his concerning green eyes, addressing my fear of height. The cabin pressure is increasing. This means we’re climbing in altitude.

  “I’m fine. I have you here with me,” I assure him.

  “Let me know if you need to lie down. I was selfish last night. I should’ve let you sleep instead of keeping you up almost all night. Your body makes me greedy. I want nothing else but you whenever you’re with me.” He leans into my lips and gently kisses them.

  “I may have to accept your offer after a while, but will you join me?”

  “I don’t think you’ll get any rest if I join you,” he perks up.

  I’m using my allotted two personal days for the year to accompany Carson on this trip. The Dean has made it clear that he will not tolerate any more trouble from me. I’ve been abiding by his rules ever since he scared me shitless that day in his office. I’ve never been so intimidated in all my life, minus the first time I talked to Carson at the hospital. I’m uneasy about this trip back to Boston. The last time I met with Kat, she wasn’t fond of me, and now, I’m breaking baby news to her. What if she doesn’t accept it with open arms like Carson thinks she will? But why would she deny her son’s baby? I’m stressing myself out by overthinking. This can’t be good for my little Peanut. Maybe a little rest for my body and mind will do me some good.