Beginning with Forever

by Lan LLP

  “I dreamt that I was falling infinitely, and I couldn’t stop. It was horrifying, dropping to my death.” He circles his arms around my shoulders and presses my head against his chest.

  “It was only a dream, baby. Nothing bad will happen to you,” he pacifies me while calmly stroking his hand up and down my back. “Mother told me you ran into Bianca this afternoon. I’m sorry you had to see her ugly side. Hopefully, she’s gotten it all out of her system and will leave us both alone.” I feel his body stiffen with exasperation.

  “I hope so because I saw only death in her eyes for me. I don’t want anything to happen to our baby.” And then suddenly, I recall Jean’s warning, The life you and your lover created is only temporary. Oh god, I think he’s talking about my baby. I have to get ahold of him before it’s too late.

  “Lil, Bianca may be spoiled, but she’s not a psychopath. You don’t need to fear for our baby’s safety,” Carson reassures me, but it doesn’t help. I heard her threat, he didn’t.

  “This may sound absolutely crazy, but do you believe in voodoo magic?” I look nervously at him.

  He gives me a vacant look, not understanding why I’m asking him this bizarre question out of the blue. “Not particularly, why are you asking me this odd question now? Lily, you’re worrying me.” The perplexed expression on his face tells me I should stop freaking him out, but I can’t.

  “For some reason, Jean just pop into my mind, that’s all.”

  “Why are you thinking about Jean-Pierre? What are you hiding from me? Lil, I thought we agreed to no secrets.” His jaw tightens with more frustration.

  “He gave me a handwritten note with a vague warning. I can’t decipher what it means. I’ve been trying to get a hold of him, but haven’t had any luck. Do you know how else to reach him?”

  “Do you have that note with you?” he patiently inquires of me. “It strikes my curiosity.”

  I shake my head. “No, it’s in St. Croix in my tea box.”

  “I don’t want to downplay your fear and anxiety. Plus, I don’t take chances, especially when it comes to my family’s safety. I’ll have a bodyguard follow you wherever you go. As for Jean, I’ll see what I can do to get ahold of him.” His tone is stern and controlled.

  “Carson, I don’t think a bodyguard is necessary. In fact, I object to having one. The last thing I want to deal with is an annoying shadow, always in my way. I only need you to reach Jean for me. This will give me peace of mind.”

  “Your stubbornness never ceases to surprise me.” He disapprovingly shakes his head several times with a wry grin. “I have one question for you. Why is Jean’s warning real for you? You don’t strike me as a superstitious-voodoo-magic kind of girl.”

  “He told me I was pregnant with your baby before I confirmed it.” His grin instantly turns into a frown.

  “I still can’t understand why you hid the truth from me. You should know how much I love you.” His wilting eyes tell me he’s hurt.

  “I’m sorry I doubted you. Trust is hard for me, but I promise it won’t happen again.”

  “Good, because you don’t want to see the dark Carson. He’s extremely intimidating—more than me.” His playful grin reappears. “Is this giraffe for me or our baby? He’s an adorable little fellow.”

  “How do you know this baby giraffe is a boy?” I ask with a pursed smile.

  “I have a reliable hunch in my gut,” he smirks.

  “Yes, Sugar, the baby boy giraffe, will be a reminder for you of our little Peanut while we’re temporarily away.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen him happier than now. I decide to take advantage of his good mood and push my luck a little further. I want to delay our visit to my mother. I’m not brave enough to deal with her wrath yet. “With all the commotion surrounding us, I think we should wait till later to discuss babies and wedding with my mother. She won’t be able to absorb this kind of news in a few hours.”

  Surprisingly, Carson agrees, but suggests we make it sooner rather than later. He doesn’t want her to be more upset with us because we’ve kept it from her for too long. He’s also anxious to meet her, to win her approval with his charm. What he doesn’t know is that my mother isn’t easy to charm.

  “What shall we do with the extra hours we have to ourselves? My parents left an hour ago,” he asks while giving me flirty eyes.

  “Um…let’s make out in your new sports car,” I jokingly blurt out, not counting on him to take me seriously.

  He draws his right hand under his chin, arches one eyebrow and purses his lips while contemplating my suggestion. “Hmm…the Bugatti will not be a wise choice then. It’s much too small with no leg room to comfortably stretch out. We’ll have to take the SUV; there’s plenty of room for us to make out in it. Are you ready?” He waits for my reply. I can’t believe he’s absolutely serious about conquering this challenge.

  “Carson, don’t be silly, I was just joking with you. I didn’t mean it.”

  “Lil, I don’t joke around. You should know that I’m all business. Now hold up to your end of the bargain and let’s go make out, as you put it. Why don’t you get ready, and then meet me in the living room in a few minutes. Don’t make me wait too long; I’m not a patient man.” He grabs his iPhone off the dresser and disappears out of the bedroom.

  While I brush my teeth, prepping for a backseat make-out session, I attempt to eavesdrop on his phone conversation. I can’t make out what he’s talking about, but his mood is spirited, so I’m happy. After I put on an extra sweater layer, I walk out to the living room and see him comfortably dressed in loose fit denim jeans and a Harvard sweatshirt. “I see that you’re already showing pride for my future school.”

  “Just being a supportive fiancé,” he smirks. “Dean Filmore gifted this and another one for you the last time I met with him for lunch.”

  Holy crap, it just hit me hard after hearing him refer to himself as my fiancé. I’m going to be someone’s wife, but not just some ordinary someone; he’s Carson Bradley, CEO of a renowned and powerful pharmaceutical corporation. I’m squirming from head to toe, considering the shoes I’ll have to fill, being his wife. “I’m ready to go, honey,” I josh, using an endearing term to see his reaction.

  He moves in closer, so I’m facing him directly and gives me a proud grin. He parts my lips with his and tells me, “Honey, huh? I like how it rolls off your tongue so sweetly.”

  Carson has the driver drop his truck off in front of the building and tells him he’s free for the day. He helps me in cautiously and enters the driver side. He’s being unnecessarily careful, and my belly is barely showing.

  We hit the big city traffic, something I’ll never miss about being in the states. The flow is painfully slow, especially during rush hour. It’s bumper to bumper. Horns are blaring continuously, people are yelling obscenities and middle fingers are freely flipping. I sit patiently in our truck, listening to Ne-Yo’s soothing voice singing “One In A Million,” unaffected by the external commotions because of my handsome distraction.

  “You’re one in a billion, baby.” He reaches for my hand and kisses along the back of it. I wasn’t even aware that he was listening to the lyrics and changing it to personalize us.

  “Where are we going for this fun planned activity?” I prod him to see if he’s still serious about it.

  “You’ll soon find out when we get there.” He looks guilty. He’s definitely up to something; I can see it in his incriminating eyes.

  Ten minutes after we finally pass the traffic congestion, he pulls into a parking garage, parks the truck and helps me out. I think we could’ve walked here faster. It’s practically around the corner from us. Wow, it’s bone-shakingly cold outside. My body is having a difficult time adjusting to extreme temperature swings on these sporadic weekends. I hug my arms around myself and shiver several times, feeling the bite of a Boston pre-winter wind. He attentively takes his scarf off and wraps it around my neck and shields my body with his. We exit the garage and cross the street to
Buffalo Wild Wings.

  I give him a confused look. “We need energy to make out,” he grins.

  “I don’t see you as a B-dubs kind of guy.” I give him more doubtful looks.

  “But I am, and you’ll see why in a minute.” We enter the restaurant, and I immediately know how wonderfully sly my fiancé is. I see Hayden and my best friend, Isabella sitting at the bar waiting for us.

  Belle sprints over to me with wide open arms. “OMGeez, Lily! I’ve missed you!” she excitedly screams out while squeezing every last breath out of me.

  “Careful, Isabella!” Carson protectively warns her.

  She gives him an are you crazy look and then turns to me, realizing the hidden meaning behind his odd concern. “What is Carson trying to tell me, Lily? Is it what I think it is?” Her shrill voice is louder yet. She releases me to scrutinize for physical change, peeling my sweater apart to see my belly. I smile bashfully at her. Hayden casually catches up and shakes Carson’s hand before I’m forced to divulge my baby news to Belle. He tenderly places his arm around her shoulders, making me stare inquisitively at them. Skeletons are coming out of the closet today.

  “Good to see you again, Bradley, and you too, Lily. By the way, great choice with the restaurant.” Hayden nudges Carson like old buddies and then gives me a squeeze. They chuckle about some private joke, I’m guessing. Apparently I missed something here. I didn’t think they knew each other beyond the business level. This is a side of Carson I’ve never seen; Mr. Laidback Carson hanging out with friends in sweats and jeans at B-dubs. I want to enclose my arms tightly around him and secure this rare moment for keepsake.

  “Thanks for meeting us and making Lil’s evening. I enjoy seeing her beautiful smile.” He places his hand on the small of my back and resumes his usual serious demeanor. Oh, I knew it was too good to last, but I’m still grateful for that quick glimpse of his fun youthful side. Carson thoughtfully arranged a mini-Indiana reunion at B-dubs just for me. What an appropriate choice, because we all love it here. We choose the booth seating. The men and Isabella order beer, and I have a ginger ale.

  Belle stares me down across the table. I know she’s antsy about me confirming her speculation. “Ok Lily, spill the beans. I need to know, are you and Carson expecting a baby?” she blurts out.

  “Isabella Marie Ellis, if you must know, yes, we are,” I confirm. She excitedly pushes Hayden and Carson out of the way, jumps over to my side and embraces me cautiously.

  “Holy laughing Buddha, I’m so happy for you! How do you feel? Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Does Emma know? Does your mom?” she fires non-stop questions at will without giving me a chance to answer them.

  “Thank you…fine…because…no…and no,” I briefly answer them all in one breath. “You, Hayden…serious…living?” We use our best friend lingo to catch up while keeping our men in the dark.

  “Yes…together…love.” Hayden looks directly at her as soon as he hears the word love.

  “Holy laughing Buddha, it’s serious! I can see it in both your eyes.” Carson taps my foot under the table, hinting for me to stop putting them on the spot. They’re my friends. It’s okay to push the limits with them. I narrow my eyes at him and ignore his tap. “And why am I the last to know?”

  “Yes, holy laughing Buddha, Lillian Ly! Hayden wanted to tell you in person because of your threat of coming after him if he pursued me. I moved here with him after New York. I’m attending a performing arts college and modeling for an agency that’s not affiliated with Bianca. I’m sorry I took that job. I didn’t know who she was or I would never have accepted her offer even if it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Why didn’t you tell me when I told you about it? You’re always self-sacrificing.” She indirectly looks over to Carson, checking for some kind of a reaction. He seems unaffected and is expressionless. “Hayden told me all about her,” she continues. “She was sweet and accommodating to me when I first arrived. But after I told Carson that you were studying with Richard, she turned into the bitchiest diva I’ve ever met. She made me feel inferior to all the other models. I couldn’t even walk or breathe right.”

  Belle is getting more heated and stirred up as she continues to recount her scarring experience with Bianca. She can be quite a pistol when provoked. Even though I don’t mind hearing someone else hate on Bianca, I should tone it down because I’m not sure how comfortable Carson is with all this Bianca bashing. His expression is impenetrable as he lends his ears to Belle’s trauma. He must’ve had the pleasure of knowing this bitchy side of Bianca at least once or twice throughout their time together. I switch seats with Hayden and reclaim Carson’s right side. He drapes his arm around my shoulder.

  “In a few months, we’ll be able to do this more often. I’ll be moving here with my fiancé.” I feel his hand gently squeeze my shoulder, indicating his appreciation for my acknowledgement of him as my future husband.

  Belle reaches for my left hand. “Holy laughing Buddha, this ring is humungous! A baby and a wedding—I can hardly wait!” she squeals.

  “Congrats, man! You’re one lucky guy to end up with this special lady,” Hayden says to Carson.

  “Thanks Carter. I know I am,” Carson looks at me as he replies, making sure that I hear him loud and clear.

  “Can you Indiana people tell me the story behind this laughing Buddha?” Carson curiously asks.

  Belle excitedly offers to explain, “Ooh, ooh, let me tell him. Lily prayed to God every night and rubbed every laughing Buddha belly for six months, hoping to get accepted to medical school. We used to tease her mercilessly. Emma and I bought her a tiny replica, so she could rub it every time she needed luck. We all started saying ‘holy laughing Buddha’ every time something good happened. She left the Buddha for me after she received her acceptance letter, and now Emma has it. I left it for her since I also found my good fortune.” She looks over to Hayden with sparkling eyes.

  “Thanks for sharing that cute story, Isabella.”

  I see Carson trying to refrain from snickering, so I nudge his right side and hiss, “It’s not funny.” I’m not going to let him laugh at my expense even if it was a senseless thing to do.

  Both Hayden and Carson coincidentally get up to use the bathroom at the same time. Belle and I use this opportunity to catch up with some much needed gossip. After about ten minutes or so, I notice they’re still not back yet, so I decide to investigate to see what’s going on. I walk towards the bathroom and spot the two of them standing in a corner talking guardedly about something. I remain inconspicuous behind a booth. I can’t hear what it’s about since they’re practically whispering. Their expressions tell me they’re upset. I startle them when they see me, and the topic is changed immediately. Again, so much for no secrets between us.

  “Hey fellas, what’s taking you so long? Belle and I are finished.”

  “Babe, we were just discussing work and lost track of time. Are you ladies ready to go, then?” Carson responds straight-faced. He’s skilled with emotional shifts, from hot to cold in seconds. I nod my head. He places his hand on my lower back to guide me to our seats. Their secretive conversation doesn’t sit well with me, but I shouldn’t pry if it’s business related.

  Hayden and Isabella wave a cab down for their ride home. I give them both big Amelia-hugs before they take off and then walk back to the garage with Carson. “Thank you for a wonderful afternoon, fiancé.”

  “You’re welcome, future Mrs. Bradley, but I’m not done with you yet. We still have a make-out session you promised me earlier.” He refuses to let me off the hook.

  I can’t believe he’s really going through with this. “You can’t be serious.”

  “Oh, but I am.” He steps on the pedal, and we speed off onto the interstate. We drive for about thirty minutes or longer out to a suburb of Boston. I think I saw a sign for Weston. He pulls up to a private driveway and kills the engine. Thank goodness it’s dark outside, so no one can see us. I’m getting really paranoid as I survey my surrou
nding. “If we’re going to do this, we’ll push the envelope and be super naughty. Let’s do it in some stranger’s driveway.” He playfully narrows his eyes at me. My jaw drops. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Mr. Responsible Carson wants to break the law.

  “Carson, I don’t think I can do this. We might get caught.” I look at him with pleading eyes, shaking my head at the same time. I’ve gone this far without getting in trouble with the law, so why ruin it now.

  “That’s the thrill of it. Live on the edge, Lil!” he mischievously goads. What have I done? I’ve created a bad-ass Carson. He exits his side and opens the door for me. “Shall we?” He offers his hand for me to balance myself out of the truck. It’s nippier and windier than earlier. I’m shivering with goosebumps. I step down and follow him into the backseat with a lot of hesitation. We’re going to get caught, I keep thinking to myself. It’s warm again inside the truck with the doors shut. Holy hell, I can’t believe we’re really going to do this. I sit tensely next to him.

  He has a sinful smirk on his face as he glances over at me. “Is this your first time?” he asks. I shake my head, and it surprises him. “Really?” he confirms. I nod my head. “How far did you go?”

  “Not far at all. I was too much woman for him to handle.” I grace him with a wicked grin. Finally, I’m able to settle my spastic nerves.

  “Hmm, I wonder if I’ll be able to handle you.” He smiles and puts his hand contemplatively up to his chin.

  “Stop talking and start kissing, Mr. Bradley. We don’t have all night. You need to get me to home-base without getting caught.” I set my inhibitions aside to go to the wild side.

  “Yes, ma’am,” he chuckles. Laying me on my back, he starts at my neck, sending a trail of goose bumps all the way down to my toes with his dissolving kisses. My body never fails to responds to his feverish touches. He came prepared with a blanket and drapes it across us after slipping off my sweater, shirt and bra. The windows are fogging up from our body heat and heavy breathing. We lose ourselves in lust until a bright light flashes into our window. Holy shit, we’re caught and I’m half dressed. I’m panicking, struggling to find my clothes while Carson remains unruffled. “Lily, calm down. He’ll see your breasts if you don’t let me cover you up.”