Be With You

by Candy J. Starr

  "They aren't going to stop ringing the bell. I'll go get rid of them."

  Tex grabbed his jeans off the floor and pulled them on. I don't know why but when he pulled his belt through to buckle it, it really did something to me that made me want to unbuckle it again and throw him on the bed. Watching him dress was a pleasure I never got enough of.

  "Will you stop objectifying me?"

  "Huh? Me?" I stretched out across the bed.

  "You are. I can see it in your eyes. You try to act innocent but your eyes are full of all kinds of dirty thoughts."

  "Not all the dirty thoughts, just some."

  The doorbell rang again.

  "Seriously, Ruby, I have to answer this or they won't go away. But keep your mind exactly where it is. We have unfinished business."

  I laughed as he left the bedroom. I wanted to enjoy the morning without having all the worries about Tex cancelling his tour and all that other crap crowding into my brain. Letting the future take care of itself was best.

  "Ruby, it's for you."

  I wasn't sure how that was possible. I had no one who'd visit me. I ran through all the possibilities. Nope, nothing. I slipped on my ratty old PJs and went downstairs, hoping it'd be something I could easily deal with. If it was anyone too awful, Tex wouldn't have let them in the house.

  I saw him when I reached the bottom of the stairs. Alex Feng. Instantly, I wished I'd put on a decent outfit and maybe a bit of makeup. He had that effect. Realistically, I should care more about looking good for Tex but then he'd seen me at my worst. I'd seen him at his worst too. In his old jocks and stinky socks.

  Alex stood in the entryway, wearing an incredible suit. A suit that had been made especially for him. The colour, the cut, everything matched him to perfection. He had his hair slicked back like an old-time movie star. When I looked at him, I understood what the word "debonair" meant.

  We had no furniture. The house was an empty shell. What would Alex think? Even Tex seemed to be hovering around in a mild panic. I took Alex into the kitchen. At least we had some furniture in there.

  "Sorry to catch you off guard but I was in town and I thought I might drop by to have a talk with you. If it's a bad time, I can come back."

  I'd forgotten how caramelly smooth his voice was.

  He smiled.

  "No, it's fine." Crap, my singlet top I'd worn to bed had food stains on it and it was far more low cut than was respectable. "I'll just go get a jacket..."

  I ran upstairs and pulled out every singlet and t-shirt I owned, looking for something clean and decent. I ended up with clothes covering the floor and no viable options. I considered one of the few nice dresses I owned but then I'd look like I was trying too hard. The black t-shirt was the least filthy. I put it on with a cardigan over the top.

  As I finished changing, Tex came in.

  "I didn't know he was turning up. Did you know? We must look shocking." Tex seemed more nervous than I was.

  "What are you worried about? It's not like he's judging you."

  "Not exactly, he just seems like someone you want to see the best in you. Shit, Ruby, I'm meant to be the rock star in this house but he makes me look like I'm the gardener."

  I threw my dirty singlet at Tex. "Do you have a man-crush on him?"

  "Not exactly. I'm just saying if I was a chick, I'd totally go for it. Wait, I mean a chick that's not you. You totally shouldn't go for it. You aren't thinking of that?"

  I pretended to consider the question for a while, bringing my finger to my lips.

  "Not exactly." Then I laughed. "You'll do me. Of course, I don't want people coming here thinking we live like wild things. It's embarrassing. If it's just us or the band guys, that's okay but it's embarrassing when it's a stranger."

  "You've never worried about it before."

  "Neither have you."

  As I got to the door, I turned to see Tex starting to change his clothes.

  "Wow, you really do have a man-crush. I'd have thought Devon was more your type." Then I ran downstairs before Tex could throw something at me. I did chuckle to myself though. Then I saw Alex Feng sitting at the kitchen table. Tex could've at least offered him a coffee or something.

  I rushed in and put on the kettle.

  "Ah, since I dropped in unexpectedly, I brought something with me."

  He sat a box on the table. If I wasn't mistaken, that was a box like fancy bakeries put pastries in. I didn't want to look overly eager but I did want to steal a peek at those pastries. And maybe eat one. Or more. I wanted to eat them all before Tex came down and pigged into them. I tried to have some self-restraint though.

  "Thanks, you didn't have to."

  "I wanted to make sure you were okay after the other day. I was really worried about you. I do want to apologise if anything happened to upset you."

  I wasn't sure if I should spill it all out. I didn't want to go through the whole story with Alex. It'd been hard enough telling Tex. I needed to make some explanation though.

  "It was just a shock for me, seeing Chris David. We have a bit of history."

  Alex nodded his head and gave me an understanding smile. He didn't even show a trace of thinking I'd over-reacted.

  "If you came to work for us, you'd not be working directly with him. He is working on a different part of the project mostly. And he's based in the head office. Of course, you could do most of your work from home. We are very flexible with working arrangements. I've been impressed with the work of yours that I've seen."

  I jumped up to make drinks. I hated people praising me. It made me go all red-faced and silly and I never knew how to react. I'd have thought that the job offer would've been totally off the cards after my meltdown. Not that I'd ever consider the offer. Although...

  "I definitely couldn't work in an office. I have issues with people." That was putting it mildly. "But, I'm not sure if I could work here either."

  I handed Alex his tea and sat back down at the table, a plan formulating in my head.

  "If that's an issue, we have some apartments in the city. There's one empty at the moment. It's not big, nothing like this house, but if you are happy with a smaller place, we could set it up for you. It's all very secure with a concierge and the works."

  I'm not sure how he knew I'd need all that but, if Tex went on the festival circuit without me, I would feel much comfortable in a security apartment than alone in this house. Alex Feng really knew how to sweeten the pot.

  "I'm not saying I'll take the job but, if I did, what exactly would I be working on?"

  My gaze kept darting to the box of pastries. I wondered what the right thing to do was. Should I put them on a plate and eat them now or leave them for later.

  Alex began outlining the major project he wanted me to work on when Tex walked in. He'd had a shower and put on fresh clothes. Alex stood up and offered Tex his hand.

  "Now, you are the Tex O'Malley? I'm sorry, I don't want to be all gushy but I love your music."

  What the hell? Was Tex blushing? Normally, he got all snarky when people said stuff like that.

  "What's this about a job? You know Ruby can't take your job, right?"

  Tex's man-crush only went so far. I really didn't like the way he took ownership over me.

  "We're just discussing it. Alex does have some interesting ideas."

  Tex grabbed the coffee I'd made him and sat down while Alex told me more about the project. I could see Tex's eyes glaze over at the technical details but this wasn't about him.

  The more Alex talked, the more excited about the project I became. It seemed like the perfect solution. I'd be set up in the apartment and totally immersed in my work while Tex did his thing. I wouldn't have to actually have face to face interaction with other people. And I wouldn't have the burden of guilt that'd come with Tex cancelling his performances.

  "So, what kind of terms are we talking about?" I asked.

  "You aren't seriously considering this offer?" Tex scowled at me.

  Al
ex told me the terms. A six month contract with a very generous hourly rate. Plus an up-front payment for my app. It really was a hard offer to refuse.

  "I'll leave you two to discuss it," he said.

  "No. I accept."

  "What? No way, Ruby. You aren't strong enough. There's that thing..."

  Tex didn't want to spill out my secrets in front of Alex, I could tell. But, if I was working alone, I could deal with it. It'd not be much different than working on my own projects.

  "It's okay," I told him. "I won't be working with others."

  "Well, there is a monthly get together. That would be just you and Jeremy though."

  "This is ridiculous," Tex said. He got up and went to the studio as though he couldn't stand to discuss it further.

  He could go off in a huff if he wanted. But that meant I'd definitely not share the pastries with him.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN - RUBY

  "It's not you, Tex. It's me. I need to do this."

  “I know it’s not me. You’re the one who’s moving out.”

  Tex laid on the bed beside my suitcase, trying to stop me from packing. He wound his arms around my waist, pulling me tightly to him. I tried to peel his arms off me but, as soon as I removed one, he put it back again.

  "You can't leave me," he said.

  I sighed. I'd been through this with Tex. I'd laid it all out in a logical fashion but the sense I talked didn't penetrate his head. I pulled away from him and got my underwear out of the drawer to put in my case.

  When I went back for the next lot of stuff, Tex had taken my underwear out and hidden it. Under the bed covers, obviously, because there was a big lump.

  "Are you a dog?" I asked. "Maybe you should bury my stuff in the backyard so I can't find it." I saw the expression that crossed his face. "NO! I was joking. You can't really bury my stuff in the backyard."

  "Don't go, Ruby. Seriously. We can work this out. If you want me to cancel the shows and stay with you, I'll do it. If you want to come on tour with me that's fine too. Anything you want. Just ask."

  "Anything? Anything is fine? Because the thing I want is space."

  I pulled back the covers and got out the pile of underwear.

  Tex rolled his eyes. That was fine for him.

  "The whole point of me doing this is so you don't have to cancel the shows. You can go off and rock the world without having to worry about your loopy girlfriend at home on her own. The world is full of men who'd consider that heaven – being a rock god for a month while their incredibly beautiful girlfriend waited for them."

  I shot him a grin, daring him to contradict the "incredibly beautiful" part.

  "I'd rather my incredibly beautiful girlfriend come with me. Or I stayed home with her."

  When Tex said things like that, I wondered if my social anxiety was just an excuse he used to hide his own fears. He could think he was protecting me by staying by my side but maybe it went deeper. Then I noticed what he was doing.

  "Tex, what the hell?"

  I'd caught him red-handed, pulling a pair of lacy knickers out of my case. What the hell? I guess he'd paid for them in the first place and pretended they were a present for me when he'd just wanted to see me wear them but still, that was a bit rude.

  "If you are leaving me¸ I'm going to be lonely," he said. His grin disturbed me.

  "So, you combat loneliness by wearing women's underwear?"

  "No. I just want to have the smell of you close to me."

  "Ewww. Just ewww."

  "You don't understand men, Ruby." He held the panties on the end of his finger. I tried to snatch them off him but he jerked them away.

  "Puppies. Again, I think you are talking about puppies. Do you want me to put a ticking clock in bed beside you so it sounds like my heartbeat too?"

  "Seriously, Ruby. This is a huge house. You can have all the space you need here."

  That look on his face almost broke my heart.

  "What do you care? You'll be away touring and won't even notice? It's not like I'm leaving forever. I just need to do things on my own. Have you seen my coat? It's probably too hot to wear it but I might need it. We put it away somewhere when we moved in."

  "Yeah, it's in Julie's room."

  Whoa. I couldn't believe he'd just said that. I stared at him but he didn't seem to think anything of it. There was no Julie's room in this house. I could never say that to him but it disturbed me that Tex still thought that way.

  “Well it’s the room that used to be Julie’s.”

  He looked away and I decided to ignore that he’d said that.

  I got out the rest of my clothes and sat them on the bed around Tex. When I put them out like that, I really didn't have much. My clothes were so shabby. When I'd turned up for that meeting, I'd been dressed like a bum.

  One thing was for sure, once I started earning some cash, I'd be stashing as much as possible away until I had enough to give Lizzie the performance fee Brownie would've earned. I'd get that money and then I'd turn up and throw it at her. She could shut her pie-hole after that.

  I just wished that Tex wasn't offering me the temptation of staying with him. Every fibre of my being sang out for me to stay. And the Ruby Wonderland screamed the loudest. But I knew that this was the right thing to do. I'd lived with my parents until I came to work for Tex. I'd never lived on my own or had to support myself totally. Maybe it'd end up breaking me but I had to see what I could do.

  “Can’t you stay until we leave on the tour at least? I don’t know why you have to go so soon?”

  “Because you’ll be rehearsing and getting up to speed for the tour. And I need to start on this job straight away. I’m going to be working long hours and you’ll just be a distraction. The two of us will hardly see each other so I might as well move out now.” I didn’t say it to Tex but I also wanted to do this thing before all my quavering and second thoughts got too strong.

  "At least stay for tonight," Tex said. "One last night together."

  He actually pouted at me and that swayed my heart. I shoved the clothes in the case and put it on the floor.

  "I guess one night wouldn't hurt," I said.

  He pulled me beside him and covered me with kisses, starting from my neck and working his way down. It made me wonder why I was even thinking of leaving this man. His lips moved to my armpit. I wanted to stop him. Was I all sweaty and gross there? But instead I squirmed and giggled as his breath tickled against my pit hair.

  "Are you sure this is what you really want to do?" Tex asked.

  I assumed he meant leaving, not having my armpits tickled. I nodded. His face hovered above mine and the expression was serious.

  "How can I commit to you when I'm not even sure who I am? I need to do this. It's not goodbye. It's not the end of anything. It's a break. A chance for me to prove to myself that I can be alone. And hell, Tex, things aren't good at the moment. You're fighting with the rest of the band. I don't feel like we are two equals. I rely on you too much."

  "That's never going to be a problem, Ruby." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I'll look after you forever. I was made to look after you."

  "I don't want that."

  He kissed me, this time fully on the lips. Softly, with his tongue probing my mouth. He moved his arm under me, raising me up to meet him. Even though he kissed me gently, there was a hunger in his kiss.

  Then he pulled away.

  "You are going to be faithful to me though?"

  I punched him on the arm. "You idiot."

  He glared. "You mean that like 'you idiot, my love for you is so strong that I could never look at another man', don't you? Not like 'you idiot, I want to dump you so I can go on a 24/7 hunt for cock'?"

  I punched him harder. "A 24/7 hunt for cock? Who'd even have the energy for that?"

  "Cos you know, Ruby, even if we're apart, any time you feel horny, I'll be here for you."

  I screwed up my face. "What the hell? You aren't even being here for me now. Not with the way yo
u keep stopping to talk about stuff. I'm not going to look at another man so shut up with all the talk and kiss me again."

  I grabbed his head and pulled him to me. I loved this crazy guy even when he was being a jerk. His fingers ran under the hem of my t-shirt, raising it slowly up my body. I sucked in my breath as he tickled his way up my ribs. Then he bent down to kiss my belly button. That tickled too but my squirming sure as hell didn't stop him. I wrapped my legs around him, drawing him to me until he flipped me on top of him. He pulled off my t-shirt.

  "Oh, you're wearing your sexy bra," he said. "Were you expecting this?"

  "I can wear my sexy bra if I want," I answered. As I straddled him, his cock pressed harder against me. The layers of clothing we wore were far too many. His hands circled my waist then inched around to my butt. I raised myself so he could slip off my sweat pants. Soon we were both naked and the Ruby Wonderland was being thoroughly explored.

  CHAPTER TWELVE - TEX

  The house seemed a hundred times bigger without Ruby in it. The sense of rattling around in the place that was far too big for my needs took me back to other times, that old sorrow infecting me. Of course, I'd never tell Ruby about that. But I looked forward to the day we flew out so I could be away from the place.

  Meanwhile, I immersed myself in rehearsal and song writing. I had to keep busy. Maybe Ruby was doing the right thing, but I missed the hell out of her. If I felt lonely in the house on my own though, I could only imagine how she'd have felt.

  The first few nights were okay. I worked myself into a stupor and fell into bed exhausted at the end of the day. I even thought about installing a gym in the house so I could tire myself physically. I wasn't getting any younger and I didn't want to develop some old man middle-aged spread.

  Then, a few days after she left, even tiring myself didn't help. I lay in bed, missing the shape of her beside me. She hadn't slept in the new bed long enough for an indentation to form in the mattress but she had imprinted herself on my heart that's for sure. Rather than toss and turn with too many thoughts racing through my brain, I thought about the bottle of whiskey downstairs. That was a dangerous road to go down but maybe a good, strong nip would help me sleep.