by Abby Ayles
“So do as you please, Natalie. Be as silly as you please. But do not ever accuse me of selfishness. Not when you have no idea what I’ve given up of myself for all of you.”
Natalie opened her mouth to speak but found that she had no words.
“You could have still taken care of us,” she said at last, meekly.
“No husband would let his wife be away from home tending her father and sisters,” Bridget replied. “Who would run his house for him?”
Natalie had to concede to that.
When a woman married, her job became running the household. Hopefully if the husband’s mother was alive and running his estate, she could teach her new daughter-in-law how things were done.
But what man would tolerate having to continue running his own home while his wife was still at her father’s? What man would go to live at the house of a father-in-law when he had an estate of his own?
And what man would be satisfied with no children while his wife raised her youngest sister and half-raised the other three?
No, Natalie could well understand why Bridget had to wait. She wondered what sweetheart Bridget might have had and lost.
“I’m sorry,” she said. She did feel sorry, which was unusual. Mostly it felt as though people wanted her to be sorry for no reason other than simply speaking the truth or something of that nature.
Bridget sighed. “I do not tell you all this to make you feel sorry for me. I tell you this so that you might think to look beyond yourself and what you want. You need to look at what other people need and want as well.
“Otherwise, they will notice. People always do. And relationships are supposed to be a give and take. If you don’t pay attention to others, then eventually nobody will want to pay attention to you.”
Natalie nodded. She would have to do better. She understood.
Bridget seemed to sense her contrite mood, for she switched tactics. “You will have to find someone tonight. I have to speak to Louisa and Elizabeth to see how they fare. And of course, I will be choosing someone myself.
“That only leaves you to find someone. There are dozens of men here that we have yet to speak with. I will try and see if any of them are in need of a swift arrangement.”
“I feel as though I’m being sold off like cattle.”
“Good, I hope you do,” Bridget said, showing a little impatience. “It will serve you right to feel that way. You’ve had a month, Natalie. One would think that would be enough time. And yet.”
“You wouldn’t ever speak to Regina like this,” Natalie pointed out. “And I don’t see you making her marry.”
“The youngest sister getting married before her elder sisters? It would cause gossip,” Bridget replied. “Either people will say we are undesirable or they will say that Regina was in the family way.”
“You wouldn’t force her even if she was the middle child,” Natalie said. “She’s always been your favorite.”
“Regina would do what she knew was necessary to save the family,” Bridget replied. “I know that you think little of her. And she could do with a boost in confidence. But she cares for others and she thinks of something other than parties and idle gossip.”
“You make me sound vapid and shallow!” Natalie protested.
“I should hope so,” Bridget replied, her tone sharp.
Bridget’s tone rarely became sharp. The last month must have been a trial for her.
Natalie hadn’t seen Bridget actively choosing between any suitors. While Natalie had been receiving men every few days, Bridget had yet to receive one.
However, Natalie had seen her sister often writing letters. Or, alternatively, writing a letter and then asking Father to copy the letter in his own writing.
Writing a letter to a man, as a woman, was something that was not done. Natalie could therefore only assume that Bridget was having Father extend an invitation of some kind to suitors, starting up a correspondence.
Then, through Father, Bridget could get to know her suitors and decide which one to choose.
This was all speculation. Natalie didn’t know for certain. But given her sister’s current state, she didn’t really feel as though she would do any good by asking.
Choosing a suitor must have been hard for Bridget. But that didn’t give her the right to talk to Natalie like that.
“I’ve been doing my best,” Natalie told her. “Surely you’ve seen that.”
“I’ve seen you drive away your chance at salvation again and again,” Bridget said.
“If you and Elizabeth and Louisa are getting married, why should I have to?” Natalie pointed out.
“Louisa will only maintain her engagement if Mr. Fairchild agrees to stand by her. She still cannot marry while his aunt is alive. Only two of us married is not enough.”
Bridget sighed and sank into a chair, looking exhausted. “Natalie. I want to guarantee your safety, that is all. If you were a man I should urge you into the Navy. You could earn honor and fortune there and perhaps someday buy our estate back from Lord Pettifer.
“But you are not a man. And so it is only marriage that can secure your future. You treat this as a game or something you can afford to laugh off. This is your future we are talking about.
“I can’t protect you. I would try, of course. But I can’t. And once the truth is known of how Father lost our estate, nobody will want to marry you. Not for a long time. Not, perhaps, for the rest of your life.
“And so if you are to avoid being an old maid you must do it now.”
Bridget looked up at her, and for a moment she looked much older. As though she were already middle-aged.
“This is the only way that I can take care of you, Natalie. Any of you.”
Natalie nodded. She didn’t want to seem ungrateful. She knew that Bridget was only thinking of their best interests.
She just didn’t appreciate also being viewed as selfish.
Bridget stood up with a sigh. “Come now. Our sisters will be here in a moment and we must be ready to greet them.”
Chapter 5
Elizabeth and Louisa arrived first.
Elizabeth flew from the carriage, holding her skirts up out of the way. She was always a bundle of energy, like lightning in a bottle.
“Bridget!” she cried, all but flinging herself into Bridget’s arms.
Natalie noted that Elizabeth looked flushed and excited. She didn’t seem upset or disappointed.
Louisa emerged next. Louisa moved calmly and sedately, as always. Her smile was warm, but she did not rush to meet them.
“What is the news?” Bridget asked.
Natalie held her breath. It was what she had been waiting for as well.
“Mr. Fairchild will stand by me,” Louisa said. “We shall continue as before and marry when his aunt passes.”
Natalie could see Bridget visibly stop herself from giving a sigh of relief. Natalie felt rather the same way.
“And what of your endeavors?” Bridget asked Elizabeth.
Elizabeth grinned. “Mr. Denny proposed to me three days ago, and I accepted.”
Natalie felt as though someone had upended a bucket of cold water over her head.
Bridget was smiling and almost crying with relief, hugging Elizabeth to her. Natalie knew that she should be doing the same. But… but…
Elizabeth? Sharp-tongued, impetuous, wild Elizabeth? The one who had gone running about the hills and woods like an animal? The one who hadn’t yet seen a man she didn’t want to knock down?
She had won herself the hand of a man in marriage and Natalie had not?
It stung greatly. In fact, it made Natalie want to find somewhere private to burst into tears over it. But she could not. She had to pretend to be happy for her sister.
“Congratulations,” she said, smiling. It felt as though her smile was plastered on. The word seemed to stick in her throat and she had to pry it out and fling it at Elizabeth.
How could she have gone so wrong that Elizabeth was engaged, an
d she was not?
Natalie’s pride stung. Bitterness and confusion wormed their way into her chest like a kind of infection, a fever. Her stomach turned to lead.
“Why don’t you come inside to see the Morrisons,” Bridget said.
The Morrisons were being kind enough to put the girls up for the weekend at their large estate. Most others who were attending the ball would not have such a luxury and would have to travel all the way home when it was over.
Lord and Lady Morrison were just as happy to hear about Elizabeth’s engagement as Bridget had been.
Natalie did her best to keep the scowl off her face as Elizabeth filled them in on the details.
“We shall announce it the following Monday, after the ball,” Elizabeth explained.
“Very wise,” Lord Morrison said. “Hopefully then it shall both forerun and eclipse the news of your father.”
Of course Lord and Lady Morrison knew. Natalie had not been aware that they knew but she was not surprised. They were close friends of the family. Bridget must have confided in them.
“One can hope,” Bridget said. “I doubt news of a wedding shall eclipse news of a scandal but one must remain optimistic.”
“It will forerun it, in any case,” Lady Morrison said. “And all is settled with you as well, my dear?” she asked Louisa.
Louisa nodded. “Yes. And Mr. Fairchild has hopes that his aunt will not be much longer in having her suffering ended.”
“That is good, two of you are settled then.” Lady Morrison’s eyes skipped politely over Natalie to settle upon Bridget.
Natalie’s throat and eyes burned with shame. She said nothing but wanted to flee.
She was always said to be the prettiest. Everyone had always said, if you want a good dance partner—the best dance partner—you must have Miss Natalie Hartfield.
Now she was politely being talked around. Her circumstances were seen as unfortunate and therefore not to be discussed. She was the only one of her sisters present who did not have prospects.
It made her want to find a dark corner to crawl into and never come out.
“And you, my dear?” Lady Morrison asked Bridget. “Have you decided?”
“Yes,” Bridget said.
“I hope you will be able to spare some time away from your unfortunate circumstances,” Lady Morrison said, “for an old friend of yours shall be attending. We’ve invited Lady Cora Dunhill.
“I believe that you two used to spend much time together as children? I hope you’ll be able to find the time to converse with her.”
Bridget got oddly pale at that, but then Lord Morrison spoke.
“Oh, that reminds me,” Lord Morrison said. “There is a young man coming by the name of Lord John Ridgecleff. He’s heir to the Earldom of Mountbank and is rather in the same straits you are—that is, in need of marriage. I recommended you ladies to him.”
“Well, I shall certainly make his acquaintance if you will introduce us,” Bridget said, smiling. Her odd paleness of a moment ago was gone as if it had never been.
Natalie’s heart thumped wildly in her chest. An heir to an earldom! And he needed a wife! And Lord Morrison had suggested one of the Hartfield ladies!
Well, Louisa and Elizabeth were spoken for, so they would not do. Bridget might speak with him but surely, she had already informed her intended that his proposal would be welcome. Regina was far too young, not to mention too quiet and mousy to capture a lord.
That only left Natalie herself.
She would have to find this earl’s son and persuade him that she, out of all the ladies at the ball, was the one who should marry him.
It would be the thing that saved her—and elevated her above all her other sisters. Wife of an earl! Mr. Denny and Mr. Fairchild were both gentlemen. And both had certainly large annual sums.
But a gentleman with a large annual sum was nothing compared to a man with a title. Why, the annual sum need not even be mentioned. It wasn’t polite to talk about how much was made at that point.
An inherited title, and land, and most likely a beautiful home. As the wife of such a prominent member of society, Natalie would have to continue to attend balls and throw her own.
Oh, and she must continue to attend the London season! It would be all but mandatory.
This could be her salvation. She would have a rich and powerful husband and could continue to do the social things she loved.
And the look on Elizabeth’s face when she heard that Natalie got a future earl. Ha!
Perhaps this evening would not be so terrible after all.
Chapter 6
John surveyed the various dancers out on the floor.
This being a masquerade ball, he was hard pressed to find the Hartfield women. Lord Morrison had gone to attend the card game taking place on the second floor.
With Lord Pettifer as one of your players, you could never be too careful.
With him gone, John was having a difficult time of it finding these women, seeing as he’d never met them before. And now everyone was masked.
Fortunately, he did also know Lady Morrison. If he could find her, she could then introduce him to the Hartfields.
He spied a dark purple dress and a flash of dark hair piled up. There she was.
He made his way across the dance floor to reach her, only to bump into a young lady coming from the opposite direction.
Despite her face being mostly covered by the mask, he could tell she was lovely. Bright red hair and flashing, clear blue eyes. A good figure, and lovely soft pale skin.
She was wearing a dark green dress that showed her off well. It contrasted wonderfully with her bright blue eyes and her red hair.
Her mask was matching, with light silver threads sewn through it to give it shine and definition. It was done up in the shape of a cat, almost.
John had the sudden urge to rip the mask off so that he might see her entire face. She was this lovely with the mask on, without it, he was sure he’d be even more entranced.
“I beg your pardon,” the girl said. Was that a blush rising to her cheeks?
Then she turned and hurried away. A moment later he saw her conversing and heading out to the dance floor with a partner. Ah. She was only hurrying to reach him.
Just his luck, a woman so beautiful he stopped in his tracks and she was already with someone else.
There was a light touch at his elbow and he turned. Lady Morrison smiled at him.
“You look as enchanting as ever,” John told her, bowing.
Lady Morrison curtsied. “And you look as frazzled as ever. What on earth has kept you away from us for so long? The Continent cannot be that much more entertaining than we are.”
“No one could be more entertaining than you and your husband,” John assured her. “Has he informed you of my father’s conditions?”
“Not much of them,” Lady Morrison said. She led him over to the side, away from the press of the crowd. “Only that you are looking to marry swiftly?”
“Not so much marry as be engaged,” John explained. A hasty marriage would raise questions. People would speculate scandal, such as a baby on the way.
“And I am to assume that your father has something to do with this?” Lady Morrison hazarded.
John nodded. He quickly outlined the letter he had received. “I asked your husband if he knew of anyone I might find suitable. He suggested to me the Hartfield family. Five daughters!”
“Yes, although you’re down to only two of them, I’m afraid.” Lady Morrison gave him one of her smiles, the ones that made him feel as though she was sharing a secret with him. Lady Morrison was very good at that, getting people to think she was sharing things only with them in confidence.
“Miss Louisa, the second eldest, is promised. Miss Elizabeth, the second youngest, shall be announcing her engagement in a few days’ time. We have only just learned of it.
“That will leave you with Miss Natalie, the middle child, and Miss Regina, the youngest.
&n
bsp; “Unless, of course, you can tempt the eldest, Bridget, away from whomever she’s chosen. Both Miss Natalie and Miss Regina are about somewhere, though. I would suggest you try them first.”
“If you can locate them for me, I am happy to be introduced.”
“Natalie is usually in the midst of the dancing.” Lady Morrison scanned the crowd. “Oh! There is Miss Hartfield, the eldest. Come.”
She led John through the tangle of people up to a stately young redhead. She had bright green eyes and a lovely blue dress on.
“Louisa and Elizabeth have green eyes as well,” Lady Morrison whispered. “But Natalie’s are blue and Regina’s are brown, like their mother’s. In case you need to tell them apart tonight.”
“Do they all look so similar?” John asked.
“Not to those who know them, but with masks on, I think so.”
Miss Hartfield turned as they approached. She was lovely, with a statuesque sort of grace about her. She reminded him of the woman he had just run into—and that woman had blue eyes. Could that beauty be Natalie Hartfield? Could he be so fortunate?
Of course, looks were not everything. He knew that. But he had to admit that they were a promising start.
“Miss Bridget Hartfield,” Lady Morrison said, “Lord Ridgecleff, heir to the earldom of Mountbank.”
Miss Hartfield curtsied while John bowed.
“It is an honor to become acquainted with one as esteemed as yourself,” Miss Hartfield said.
“The pleasure is all mine,” John replied. “I believe congratulations are in order? I hear your sister Miss Elizabeth is to shortly announce her engagement.”
“That is so,” Miss Hartfield replied. “She has been telling anyone who will listen. And to think she was the one protesting she would never find herself a man.”
“She is a rather stubborn girl,” Lady Morrison agreed with a laugh.
“But yes, I thank you for your congratulations and shall accept them on her behalf,” Miss Hartfield said.
“I was thinking it would be advantageous for Lord Ridgecleff here to be introduced to your sisters, Miss Natalie and Miss Regina,” Lady Morrison said.