“But you do have feelings for me?” Sadie asked, suddenly unable to focus on consequences.
“I do. I have from the moment I saw you standing on that tennis court in Indian Wells. You sparked things in me I never imagined I could feel after everything I’ve gone through.”
“Indian Wells?” Sadie’s heart tapped along her ribs as if they were a xylophone. “It took me till Charleston. Good Lord, that morning in your hotel room. I’ve never had such a hard time getting an image out of my mind as I did with you, in bed that morning.”
Jay’s smile grew so broad it crinkled the corners of her eyes once more. “And then you kissed me, and I shattered.”
Sadie cupped Jay’s face in her hands. “I never wanted to hurt you, and I hate that you’ve been hurt in the past.”
“I know,” Jay said, her voice low and raspy once more. “And I never meant to hurt you by pulling away. I only wanted to protect you from what I’ve seen.”
“I have no desire to take you back there.”
“And I don’t know any way to go forward together.”
Sadie tilted her head until their foreheads touched. “I don’t do well with bending to other people’s wills.”
“No. But you are very good at taking care of Des, which means no one can know what happened.”
“Yes,” Sadie sighed, her lips so close to Jay’s she could hardly stand it. “But does it mean it can’t happen again?”
Jay closed her eyes and whispered, “I can’t do it, Sadie. I can’t risk what happened before. I can’t live in shadows worrying and wondering and waiting for the other shoe to kick me in the teeth.”
“No.” Sadie sat back. “I don’t suppose you can.”
“The doubt would eat me alive.”
“I understand, and I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you to ever doubt my feelings for you.” She tried to say the right thing, because she wanted nothing more than to soothe Jay, but coming a close second to that primary desire was a pulsing need she desperately wanted to have filled, despite all her better impulses. Even knowing what she knew now about the risks, she couldn’t shake the memory of Jay’s mouth, hot and commanding, against her own.
She glanced around the hotel room, trying to ground herself by putting her focus anywhere but those alluring blue eyes. Finally, her gaze landed on a stack of papers. Entry forms, releases, contracts. Hopping up, she grabbed a pen from the desk and sifted through the paperwork until she found one she didn’t need and began to scrawl across the back of it, reading aloud as she wrote. “I, Sadie Larsen, being of legal age and sound mind, willingly and gleefully affirm that I enjoy kissing Jay Pierce, and I would joyfully continue to do so, discreetly, as often and for as long as she would let me.”
Then she signed and dated the document.
When she turned around, Jay was no longer sitting on the couch, but had risen to read over her shoulder. The heat of her body so close made Sadie a little dizzy with anticipation. With trembling fingers, she pressed the paper into Jay’s hands. “I know it’s not perfect, but I’m not a child. I am not Katia. I’m not going to hurt you. And that might not be enough to make you kiss me again, but I hope it at least helps ease some of your fears about the first time.” Then in one final rush, she added, “Also, I hope you do want to kiss me again. There, I said it, and I’ll repeat it every day if—”
The end of the confession died on Jay’s lips as they pressed beautifully against her own.
Chapter Eight
“Jay, over here.”
“Destiny, this way.”
“Ladies, can I get a smile?”
The two of them bumped into each other multiple times as they turned different directions, trying to accommodate all the requests. Having a large silver cup suspended between them didn’t make the posing any easier. Not that she was complaining, because without the cup they wouldn’t be posing at all.
“Can you lift the trophy a little higher?” someone asked.
Jay turned to Destiny with a smile. “Lift with your knees, not your back.”
Destiny laughed, and Jay’s core warmed with the realization she had her mother’s laugh. Not exactly the same, but close enough to remind Jay of the sound she loved most in the world.
What a difference a few days had made. She’d spent the first half of this tournament trying to avoid those thoughts, but now she reveled in them. Of course, the title of French Open Champion didn’t hurt her spirits, but it didn’t really compare to the high she got every time Sadie’s lips caressed hers.
As discreetly as possible, she shot a sideways glance to where Sadie and Hank stood watching the whole show. Hank had his hands in the pockets of his khakis and his chest puffed out like a proud papa, while Sadie held her phone at a level that indicated she must be shooting video.
Her smiled widened. There were at least fifty cameras in the room, but she loved that Sadie couldn’t resist getting her own shots to savor. And why shouldn’t she? Winning a first major was a big deal. Hell, winning any major was a big deal, but somehow getting to experience the thrills with Destiny and Sadie allowed her to see it all again through new eyes.
As the shutter clicks slowed, they were led, once again, to the pressroom, and someone held the trophy while they took their seats.
“They’ll give it back,” Jay whispered. “Well, not really. That’s the display trophy, but they’ll give you one of your own.”
Destiny grinned. “I’m going to sleep with it tonight.”
“I’m going to eat Cheerios out of it tomorrow morning.”
They both laughed as the press corps settled into their seats.
“You two seem to have found your stride as doubles partners,” someone said. “Would you say that winning on court has helped your friendship off the court?”
“It doesn’t hurt,” Destiny said, causing everyone to laugh.
“Does the age difference cause any issues?”
“Not for me,” Jay said quickly. “I mean, her eight o’clock bedtime is actually beneficial for someone of my advanced age.”
“Today Adam Martin of the USTA listed you as the most exciting prospect for American tennis in years. How does that feel?”
Destiny and Jay exchanged a look as if asking which one wanted to take it, but Jay sat back, wanting to give Destiny the chance to shine on the big stage.
“It’s a great compliment, of course, but there are plenty of fantastic junior players and” — she nodded to Jay — “veteran players still out there. I don’t want to take away from what they’re doing. Also, it’s just a lot of pressure to put on us while we’re celebrating a win here, guys.”
“Beautiful,” Jay muttered, catching Hank’s eye. He nodded in approval, and Jay felt some of his pride working its way into her own chest. She’d been more to Des than a playing partner, and she liked that, more than she would’ve expected a few weeks ago.
“Do you feel like this is a part of your redemption story, Jay? Or perhaps penance for your youthful transgressions?” a woman in the back of the room asked. Everyone shifted uncomfortably in their seats, trying to see who’d asked the question without making it obvious they were trying to see.
Jay didn’t need to guess. She recognized the voice from many a nightmare. “No, Haley. I see our win today as part of our French Open, but if you want to write it up some other way, I’m sure you won’t hesitate to draw your own conclusions.”
The woman stared her down, dark eyebrows rising almost to the line where black hair met her pale skin, but she didn’t push the topic any further. Jay unclenched her jaw and used every ounce of fortitude she had left in her not to look at Sadie. She didn’t want to give away any hint of the emotions stirring in her now. “Any other questions?”
“Next up, you move to grass court season,” another reporter called out. “Have you decided which tournaments you’ll play?”
She and Des exchanged another look before Des decided to field that land mine. “No, Terry, we’re going to enjo
y this win for a while before we announce our future plans.”
“Announce your plans or make plans?” Terry prodded.
Jay smiled broadly. “Terry, did you ever get an A on a test when you were in school?”
“A time or two,” he managed, over the laughter in the room.
“And tell me,” Jay teased, “that night, did you sit in your room studying, or did you go out with your friends? Maybe have a drink and try and pick up a girl who would invariably turn you down?”
“All right, all right,” Terry said.
“I notice you didn’t answer the questions,” Jay joked, “which is fine, because I’m not going to answer yours, either. This young woman next to me just won her first major. How about you just let her bask in the warm glow of your admiration for a moment?”
“Fair enough,” Terry said, “and congratulations.”
“Thank you,” Jay and Des said in unison.
The rest of the conference went more smoothly as they rehashed their highlight reel from the tournament. Then they were whisked away to more sponsor meetings, a cocktail party, and a dinner filled with sponsors, sponsors, and more sponsors.
At one point, hours in, Jay looked down and wondered when she’d changed clothes. She knew she’d left the court in navy shorts and a red tank top, but now she wore gray slacks and a black blouse with subtle beadwork down the low-cut collar. She had forgotten she even owned that top, much less packed it. Had it really been so long since she’d needed to dress up that she’d forgotten what was in her wardrobe?
“What’s funny?” a familiar voice asked.
Jay turned to gaze on Sadie in all her glory. Her sleeveless black dress dipped just to the top of her ample cleavage before covering everything below in a shimmery sort of midnight, before flaring out again at her waist and ending above her knees. The ensemble was both classy and classic, but the woman wearing it made the look nothing short of sexy.
“I don’t remember,” Jay finally said. “Something about my outfit, I think, but yours is so much better to focus on.”
Sadie’s smile turned shy. “I disagree. I didn’t even know you owned a top like that.”
“Well, if we’re being honest, neither did I,” Jay admitted. “Do you know when I put it on?”
“Sometime before the dinner. We got separated for a while there. What did they do to you guys?”
“It’s all a blur, but it involved pictures, lots and lots of pictures. What did you do?”
“I shook so many hands, and my clutch”— she lifted a tiny black handbag— “is full of business cards. It’s going to take weeks to field all the calls I promised to make.”
“We’ll get you a second cell phone.”
“I might have two ears, but I’m not sure I can conduct two conversations at once.”
Jay laughed. “One for business, one for personal use. It’ll help you set some boundaries and guard your time.”
“Oh, that’s a good idea,” Sadie said, but she looked more than a little overwhelmed as she used a now-empty wine glass to gesture around the room. “I’m in over my head here. I need all the good ideas you can give me.”
“Well, I didn’t want to tell a woman her business, but since you asked, I do have one more idea.”
“Please share.”
“Let’s get out of here.”
“Can we do that?” Sadie asked, eyes wide with hope.
“I just won the French Open. I can do what I want.”
“Really?”
Jay shook her head. “No, but I saw a side exit. Let’s make a break for it.”
“What about Des and Hank?”
Jay scanned the room before she finally found Destiny talking to one of the men’s doubles finalists with Hank standing right behind him, arms across his massive chest and a parental glint in his eyes. Jay’s stomach clenched as the echo of a promise floated through her mind. She hadn’t exactly lied. She’d sworn not to endanger Sadie’s heart, and she still had no intention of doing so, but she suspected Destiny wouldn’t appreciate the finer points of that argument. Maybe she needed to slow down, think things through. Then Sadie brushed her hand across the small of Jay’s back, and the guilt faded, or maybe it just got overshadowed by something more powerful. “I think they’re going to be fine.”
“I’ll send Des a text and say I don’t want to spoil her fun, but I’m ready for bed.”
“I’ll wait a few minutes, then text Hank that I’ve got a headache, and I’m heading out too.”
Sadie smiled weakly. “It’s not a total lie. I am tired.”
“And all those flashbulbs did strain my eyes,” Jay said. “So, not a total lie on my end either.”
Sadie nodded solemnly. “Is it so wrong to just want a few minutes with you?”
“Some people in this room would think so.”
“Are you one of them?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Then, follow me.”
★ ★ ★
She led Jay out of the ballroom and down an ornate staircase through an opulent lobby. A man in a bellboy cap swung wide a door and bade them good night, or at least that’s what Sadie assumed, because she didn’t speak much French.
“Shall I hail us a cab?” Jay stepped onto the sidewalk, still bathed in golden light, eyes dancing with mirth and mischief. Sadie had the urge to simultaneously freeze the image of her and hold it forever, and the desire to drag her home as quickly as possible. She chose a middle path.
“It’s only a few blocks to our hotel. Would you mind walking with me?”
“I’d love to.”
Jay’s acceptance put Sadie at ease as they started off through the streets of Paris, walking in amiable silence. She could hardly believe this was her life, such a long way from Buffalo, with her financial worries at an even greater distance. Not that other worries hadn’t taken their place, but even they seemed duller and dimmer than the amber outline of the Eiffel Tower against the distant, darkened horizon.
“What are you thinking?” Jay asked softly, as if almost reluctant to interrupt her musings.
“I just can’t believe any of this is real.”
Jay didn’t ask any more questions, and Sadie stole a sideways glance as they strolled along. She wore a similar mask of reflection across her beautiful features.
“You’ve been here before, haven’t you?”
“Not exactly here,” Jay said, “or maybe I wasn’t exactly who I am now the last time I was here. It doesn’t feel like that was me, anyway. Does that make sense?”
“Yes,” Sadie said thoughtfully, flashing back to so many moments, like a movie of her life. That’s what they felt like now, a movie, one she loved, one that still pulled at her heart, but not quite real life. Is this what she’d known that day in the hospital with Tad? When she’d been unable to explain to him the intuition that had arrived with Destiny? Or maybe she’d always had it, but she hadn’t needed to use it until then.
“Once upon a time,” Sadie started, then laughed, “a boy asked me to marry him.”
Jay made a strangled little sound that made Sadie’s mouth twitch up just a little.
“I told him no, but I couldn’t tell him why. I didn’t even know why. I, we, were just kids, and everyone wanted us to do the conventional thing, the right thing by everyone’s standards.”
“Everyone but yours.”
“I just knew something I couldn’t even imagine—” She stopped and bit her lip, realizing she probably sounded insane, or at the very least silly. But then Jay’s fingers brushed tenderly against hers, and the words spilled out again. “I just had this moment right now, with you beside me, where I thought, maybe this is it. Maybe this is what I knew was out here for me. Maybe this was the why.”
Jay slowed to a stop. “That might be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
“Really?” Sadie’s face grew warm. “You’re not just saying that to make me feel better about my life choices?”
; Jay laughed. “No, that was the most beautiful thought coming from the most beautiful woman.”
“Now I know you’re teasing,” Sadie said quickly. “You’ve known so many women.”
Jay’s jaw tightened. “I suppose I deserve that kind of doubt. I’ve certainly earned it.”
“No.” Sadie rushed to correct herself. “I didn’t mean it that way. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just, I don’t know. It’s been so long since I’ve let myself just be complimented, since I’ve let myself relax and enjoy something purely mine. It’s hard to believe I’ve arrived here, on the banks of the Seine, with someone so gorgeous looking at me the way you do, like maybe you could be mine.”
“I can be,” Jay said, her voice low. “I am, if you want.”
Sadie stepped closer, her own voice trembling now. “I do want. Very much.”
★ ★ ★
Jay cupped Sadie’s face in her hands before the door slammed shut behind them. Taking a second to imprint the image in her mind, she allowed her gaze to travel from the smooth skin of Sadie’s forehead over her perfectly arched eyebrows to her deliciously deep eyes. She made it as far down as her satin lips before she lost the ability to focus for the desire to have them pressed against her own. Closing her eyes, she allowed her other senses to guide her as they collided.
Running her tongue along the place where their lips met, she reveled in the subtle surrender as Sadie opened to her. Her mouth was a refuge from everything that had haunted Jay for years. When they kissed, all the regret and insecurity of the past were swallowed whole. Sadie clasped her hips, pulling them together so tightly, all the work and worry of the day were crushed to dust. Perfection only existed in the spaces between them now.
They had kissed like this in every stolen moment all week, and yet none of those kisses had yet carried the heady sense of urgency around them tonight. Something had shifted in Sadie on the walk home. Jay had been with enough women to recognize the certainty as it settled across stunning features, but she’d never been so moved by any declaration as she had been when Sadie spoke of knowing something like what they shared had been waiting for them. She felt as if her heart might break at the beauty and the bravery of the sentiment. Now, with an equally beautiful body pressed tightly against her, she felt as if nothing could ever break again.
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