Tour officials joined the throng and herded them through the hallways toward the players’ area, and in her mix of confusion and panic, Jay allowed herself to be carried along. Her heart hammered at Sadie’s proximity, and not in a good way. She hadn’t even begun to think about how she’d protect them this time when they reached the final fork in the hallways where everyone should turn toward the lounge and locker rooms. Destiny came to a halt beside her.
“I have to go to the pressroom,” she said abruptly.
Everyone who had been following purposefully behind them piled up in a mass of tripping feet and colliding limbs.
“I’ve prepared a statement.”
Fear, raw animal fear, clawed at Jay’s insides as tour officials turned to one another, each one no doubt hoping someone else would make the call. Decisions of this nature probably fell under the job descriptions of people much higher up on the pay scale.
As the silence stretched on, it became shockingly apparent that none of them had the authority to stop her, and the terror became too much for Jay to withstand any longer.
“No,” she snapped, causing everyone to stare at her. “Absolutely not.”
Destiny lifted her chin defiantly. “I wrote a speech. I’m going to read it to the press.”
“Like hell you are. Do you know what I’ve gone through the last two days trying to protect you? You are not going to throw that all away. I forbid you.”
Sadie laughed. The melodic sound cut through the tension like a knife through flesh. All the fear and anger inside Jay welled up and then suddenly dissipated.
“You can’t forbid her,” Sadie said lightly. “She’s a strong young woman raised by a single mom who never took ‘no’ for an answer. She takes orders about as well as her mother does.”
Jay stared at Sadie imploringly, the impulse to push her away and pull her close ripping her apart. “You can’t let her do this. Think about her career.”
“I did,” Sadie said calmly, “and so did she, but then she also thought about her character and came to the conclusion that was more important. I happen to think she’s correct.”
“I don’t,” Jay said, then shook her head. “Or I do, but she doesn’t have to fall on her sword. There are other ways. I can’t allow this.”
Destiny ignored her and pushed open the door to the pressroom.
Jay watched her go, then turned back to Hank, Peggy, and Sadie, silently begging one of them to do something.
Sadie only smiled again. “Good luck bossing her around.”
“I’m not bossing her around. I’m trying to protect her.”
“You can’t,” Sadie said softly, “but you can support her.”
Hank silently swung open the door and nodded for them to enter. Peggy followed, but Jay stayed rooted to her spot. This couldn’t be happening. She wasn’t strong enough to stand it, but as Sadie finally sighed and went through the door without her, she finally realized she wasn’t strong enough to stop it, either.
★ ★ ★
In the short seconds it had taken Sadie to join her daughter, the room had already erupted into chaos. Reporters who had only moments ago finished grilling the newest women’s semifinalist were jumping over chairs to reset their cameras and recorders. They didn’t even wait for Destiny to sit down before they began to shout questions.
“Where have you been?”
“Does Jay Pierce know you’re here?”
“Have you filed criminal charges?”
“Are you gay?”
“Was your relationship with Jay consensual?”
Des’s eyes widened as the gravity of the moment seemed to hit her, and she sought Sadie in the crowd.
Their eyes locked as Sadie stepped forward, just out from behind a camera. She couldn’t bring herself to sit for the buzzing of her nerves, and her hands shook so badly she had to clasp them tightly in front of her, but she managed a short nod of encouragement and a half-smile.
The small gestures must have been enough, because Destiny pulled a piece of crumpled paper from her pocket and unfolded it with trembling fingers. She smoothed the creases almost obsessively, then laid it flat on the table before leaning toward the mic.
The room went silent but for the pounding of Sadie’s heart and the sound of Destiny clearing her throat.
“I, um . . . I prepared a statement. I wrote it myself, and um, no one else has read it,” Destiny started. “I am not going to take questions at this time, but I, uh . . . I wanted to, or needed to, say a few things, before— well, I should have said them sooner.”
She and Sadie drew in a shaky breath in unison, but as Des lowered her head to read, Sadie felt a body push close against her shoulder. She would have assumed it was a reporter trying to get closer if not for the scent of salt and sandalwood surrounding her now.
Turning her head slowly, she saw Jay beside her, pale as the lights shining on Destiny, but for the bright blue eyes focused on the front of the room.
“Two days ago, I sat in this room, filled with frustration and anger, and I let my emotions get the better of me. I made a flippant comment meant to sting the woman sitting next to me, and I am ashamed of my pettiness. In that moment, I wanted to lash out, but I hadn’t considered the full impact my words would have, or what others would infer from them. I came here today to explain myself, to correct the misconceptions I am responsible for, and to apologize.”
No one made any attempt to interrupt as Destiny paused to take another breath.
“First of all, the promises I alluded to Jay breaking were not mine to know about. They were the sole responsibility of two adults in a relationship I was not a party to. I have no intention of butting into their personal life any further by making statements that abuse their right to privacy. I will, however, say I misjudged both parties in my limited understanding of their character and intentions.”
“Who are you talking about?” someone shouted, and Jay twitched beside her, but Des didn’t break her stride.
“Furthermore, I want to be absolutely clear that, at no point, have Jay Pierce and I been romantically involved, nor has she ever acted inappropriately in any way toward me or even in my presence. Jay has been a kind and patient mentor who attempted to be a friend to me. In my prejudice and poorly executed attempts to protect someone I loved from a threat that didn’t exist, I treated her unfairly. I certainly didn’t do anything to earn the loyalty she has shown me over the last few days. The hell she has had to endure was of my making. I am the one who deserved everything she faced.”
In her peripheral vision, she saw Jay shake her head, but Sadie wordlessly reached for her hand. Intertwining their fingers, she gave a tight squeeze to keep Jay from pulling away.
“I behaved badly at every turn,” Destiny said, her voice, which had been so resolute before, now growing thick with emotion. “I was selfish and childish and spiteful. I let down myself, and my coach, and my mother, who raised me to stand up for what’s right no matter the cost. I disappointed the fans and misled all of you, however unintentionally. I should never have said the things I did, and the moment I realized how my comments had been misconstrued, I should have immediately issued a correction. Mostly though, I should have trusted Jay. I should have believed she was the person she had shown herself to be, over and over again, and not the person rumors made her out to be.”
Destiny looked in their direction, but Sadie knew that this time it wasn’t her eyes her daughter sought.
“I am sorry. I know that’s not enough for all the pain I caused and the wedge I drove between two people who deserve so much better. I don’t know how to fix the trust I broke, but I hope this is a start. I hope everyone I hurt can find a way to forgive me eventually, but in the meantime, I hope that all of you can give Jay the fairness she deserves as she takes the court today. I, for one, will be cheering for her when she does.”
With only a slight crack in her last words, she bowed her head, and Sadie’s heart nearly burst with pride.
S
he’d done it. Her daughter had made it through. She’d made a beautiful, genuine, sincere statement all on her own. Surely her words would make things better now.
But no sooner had the thought fluttered through Sadie’s mind than the shocked silence in the room erupted into a barrage of questions.
“Why were you mad at Jay?”
“Did Jay pay you to make the statement?”
“Who are you protecting?”
“Did your mother know you were lying?”
“Can anyone else vouch for Jay’s relationship status?”
“Have you ever seen Jay with other women?”
Destiny raised her head, her facial expression a mix of exhaustion and disgust, and Sadie clung tightly to Jay’s hand.
“Where is Jay now?” someone shouted, and Destiny’s eyes flicked once again toward them before staring down at the table.
Hank jumped toward the stage shouting, “No questions. She’s not going to take any questions.” But it was too late. Several reporters had turned in the direction Destiny had looked.
“There’s Jay,” one reporter called.
“With the mother,” another shouted.
Reporters pushed through seats and tripods trying to get toward them.
“Are you two together?”
“How long have you been an item?”
“Is this what Destiny was mad about?”
“Ms. Larsen, were you sleeping with Jay while acting as Destiny’s chaperone?”
“Were you ever married to Destiny’s father? Where is he now?”
“How many of Destiny’s tennis associates have you dated? Were they both men and women?”
“Who was watching your daughter while you were sleeping with Jay?”
Sadie’s face flamed, and she opened her mouth to shout them down, but Jay tugged her back, using their interlocking fingers to secure her grip even as Sadie fought to hold her ground.
Tour officials closed around them once more, forming a barrier between them and the press while Jay’s upper body strength won out and Sadie was dragged from the room.
★ ★ ★
“Let go of me.” Jay jerked her arm from the grasp of whatever random tour official had hold of her, then through gritted teeth managed, “Please.”
Sadie and Des stumbled to a stop around her as the shouts from the pressroom reverberated down the hall and into the players’ lounge.
“Are you okay?” Sadie asked Des.
The girl nodded, but the fear in her eyes said otherwise. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know they would turn on you.”
“Hush,” Sadie soothed, hugging her tightly. “I’m fine. I’m just worried about you.”
“But the things they said about you. I didn’t know how to respond. I froze.”
Regret and shame oozed from Destiny’s voice, and Jay felt them filling her as well, only her feelings were compounded by guilt, because she had expected exactly what had happened. She’d screamed her warnings to both of them. Why had they refused to listen?
“Ms. Pierce, you’re supposed to take the court for warm-ups in five minutes,” the tour official who’d dragged her in there said apologetically.
Jay stared at her as if she’d just spoken a foreign language, and she must have gotten the point because she backed away silently. Finally, Hank and Peggy pushed through the door as if they’d been the rear guard of some violent retreat.
Jay spun from one to the other, then back to Sadie and Destiny without really seeing them. They were all in the trenches now when it should have just been her. The questions clamored through her brain once more, not the ones directed at her, but the shots aimed at Destiny and more so at Sadie. Even above the disorienting din of overlapping insults and insinuations, she clearly heard the shift away from her own past and into Sadie’s. It had taken the jackals only thirty seconds to transition from the predatory lesbian myths to the stereotypes surrounding single mothers.
Frustration exploded inside her, and she whirled to slam a fist into the wall, but Hank caught her arm centimeters before impact.
“Whoa,” he said gently. “If you need to hit something, aim for my stomach. It’s a lot softer.”
She didn’t see any humor in the situation as she spun to face Destiny and Sadie. “Damn it, that’s what I was trying to protect you from.”
“You can’t,” Sadie said softly.
“I could have.” Her voice cracked. “I was doing okay.”
Peggy snorted and Jay’s shoulders sagged.
“I was doing my best.”
“I know.” Sadie stepped closer. “You were doing too much.”
“I wanted to save you from all of that.” She gestured vaguely in the direction of the pressroom. Then, looking back at Des, she said, “I wanted to protect you from going through what I went through.”
“You can’t,” Sadie said again before Des had a chance to respond. “You can’t protect her from learning what she needs to learn, any more than you can protect me from loving you. No matter how much you want to throw up walls everywhere, that’s not how parenting works, and it’s not how love works either. Both of those experiences make you vulnerable.”
“I don’t want to be vulnerable,” Jay said in a fit of honesty. “I can’t open myself up anymore, not to attacks or pain or losing you again. There are too many other people involved now. I can’t lose control of the situation.”
“It’s not my strong suit either. I’ve always done things my own way. I’ve built my whole sense of self on standing alone and fighting the world single-handedly. And winning. I always came through on my own.” Sadie’s smile turned sad. “I suppose I’ll do it again if I have to.”
“You didn’t have to. I was prepared to take the fallout for you.”
“But that’s the thing. I don’t want you to do it for me, either. That’s even worse because, on top of feeling alone, it makes me feel helpless. At least alone is familiar.”
“No, you aren’t alone,” Jay said pleadingly. “I sent Hank away and I shielded Des and—”
“I want you.” Sadie interrupted, cupping Jay’s face in her hands. Jay tried to turn away, but Sadie held her. “Look at me, Jay. I want you. I need you. Do you know how hard that is for someone like me to say?”
Jay stared into the deep brown eyes, the ones that had challenged her and comforted her, and stirred her to believe in things she should never have believed were possible. “I’m not strong enough to do this again.”
“Then don’t. Do something different this time. Let’s do something different together,” Sadie begged. “You and me and this family we are patching together of people who love and care about each other. Put your faith in us.”
The door swung open again, but this time the tour official merely stuck her head inside as if she feared what she might find. “Um, Ms. Pierce. It’s time to take the court, or, um, you could forfeit.”
Jay sighed. That was what this all boiled down to. She either had to step up or give up. The tearing sensation returned to her chest as two forces warred within her. She could end the fight right now. She looked around at the expectant faces surrounding her. Peggy, who’d stood by her. Hank, who had fought his way back to her. Destiny, who had put her whole career in jeopardy to defend her. And Sadie, who loved her enough to risk the world she’d spent her entire life building.
She could forfeit the match and save some of the pain, but in doing so she’d forfeit any right to their devotion.
Reaching up, she covered Sadie’s hand with her own as she nodded slowly.
“Yes?” Sadie asked, tears shimmering in her eyes.
“Yes,” Jay whispered, then leaned in and kissed her.
Her lips were as soft as Jay remembered, and the contact every bit as electric, as it sparked a hope in her that she hadn’t let herself feel for days. It started in her core and spread through her limbs like a current of energy reanimating fatigued muscles and firing dormant nerve endings back to life. But before she had the chance to fully recha
rge, someone behind them cleared their throat loudly, and Jay broke away to see the tour official regarding them with confusion.
“I’m sorry,” she said sheepishly, her eyebrows raised. “Is that a forfeit on the match or do you want to play?”
“Play!” everyone in the whole room answered in unison.
Chapter Sixteen
“She didn’t even get to warm up.” Sadie said, sidestepping through the crowd of people surrounding Centre Court to get to Jay’s player’s box. They hadn’t had time to get to their seats before the match began, but even from the bowels of the building, they’d heard the boos echo around the grounds at the start of play. Still, they had to wait for the changeover after the first game before they could sneak in without obstructing anyone’s view.
“I don’t know,” Hank said, a hint of teasing in his voice. “I think that kiss might have had a warming effect.”
Sadie’s face flushed at the memory and she hoped he was right.
“Yeah,” Des said. “Judging by the way she bolted down the tunnel toward the court, I think she’s going to be okay.”
“She didn’t even move that fast when the press was chasing her,” Peggy added.
Sadie turned to face her. “I’m so sorry you had to help her through that alone. I should have been there.”
Peggy waved her off as they found their chairs. “I should have been there last time. You let me repay a debt. You can have the next one, though.”
The players walked back onto the court as Sadie pondered the last statement. There would be another time. They would all face more questions after this match, after the tournament, at the start of the next one, and possibly for the rest of Jay’s career. The thought didn’t please her, but the idea of being the person by Jay’s side through it all did. The two of them together could provide Destiny with all the support and positive influence she would need to come of age through this trial as well. The last few days had not been an ideal environment for forging a family, and yet that’s exactly what they’d done.
Down below on the green expanse of grass, Jay strode to the baseline and the boos rang out again. She calmly accepted two tennis balls and bounced them before, under the guise of handing one back to the ball girl, turning to face the crowd. Her blue eyes, luminous even from a distance, scanned the rows until they fell on Sadie. A smile spread slowly across her face, and she nodded.
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