by Caryn Carter
"Which is no doubt the only reason he agreed to cut you in," Nick quickly pointed out.
"The fact is he needs someone on his side that he can trust. That's what really cut me in. What cut us both in. We got lucky."
Nick couldn't deny that. They seemed to be lucky now on all fronts. Luck was how Vince had found out from one of his many contacts in the prison system that Kevin had told his ex-partner to lay low until he got out of prison. That the money was safe until then with his fiancée.
After that, it was easy for Vince to convince his source that he was in dire need of money and for a cut of the take would keep his mouth shut, and would also keep tabs on Bella until Pitre got out of prison.
It got even easier. All of Kevin's calls from then on were monitored by Vince's prison contact. That's how Vince had found out Kevin was trying to reach Bella.
On top of that, Vince had argued, he and Nick needed to handle this themselves, because if they brought what they knew to Internal Affairs they'd never find out if some of the higher-ups had also been on the take back then, as Pitre's ex-partner swore they were. It had all added up, then.
But that was before he'd come to know, and care for, Bella. Yes, damn it, he could no longer deny it--he cared for her. He couldn't believe she was in this thing up to her neck.
"Just stick close to her, Nick," Vince urged. "The closer you stay, the better our chances are of catching her making a slip."
Oh, he wanted nothing more than to stay close to Bella. Close to her. On top of her. Inside her. Staying close to Bella wasn't the problem. The problem was staying level-headed and objective. He wasn't sure he could do that any longer.
Something about him must have worried Vince, because he nailed Nick with a look that dared him to tell anything but the truth. "You do still want to even the score for Debbie, don't you, boy?"
Guilt rushed up to choke Nick again. He'd been almost free of guilt these past couple of days, but now it was back, thick and ugly, clogging his throat like the repeat of a rotten meal. He turned to face the window, away from Vince's probing eyes.
"I'll stay on it, Vince."
Vince didn't answer. Nick heard the door close and he turned back around to an empty office. And an even emptier feeling in his stomach. This wasn't going to play out as he'd planned. He was as certain of that as he was that tomorrow was Saturday.
* * * *
Friday evening Bella pulled into the hospital parking lot and found an empty spot almost immediately--an unexpected bit of good fortune she hadn't counted on at the end of a miserable day.
She'd been trying to reach Nick since one o'clock that afternoon with no luck, and after every failed attempt, her hopes, and her heart, had sunk even lower. Trying to convince herself there was no way he'd ignore her after the week of sex they'd shared--and especially after this past morning--she'd looked for something, anything, in their short relationship to shore up her faltering belief that he wasn't deliberately dodging her calls.
She wanted to believe with all her heart that he was just extra busy today and would get back to her later. But when the entire afternoon passed without a word, she'd given in to the fear that the end of their relationship had come just as she'd expected it would.
Shaking off her depression about Nick she hurried into the hospital. Of all times, she couldn't let her morose feelings show. Not with her mother facing surgery in the morning and with Carmella agreeing to visit their mother tonight. She should be happy, or at least a little more optimistic than she was right now.
Deciding to take the stairs to buy a few extra minutes to shift gears, Bella pasted a smile on her face and made up her mind to keep it there, at least throughout the visit. It would be time enough when she got home to her empty, technologically safe house to let her true feelings show. Even then she'd have to get it out of her system and make a quick recovery before morning. She had to be at the hospital by six a.m. to see her mother before she went to surgery.
Franny was getting off the elevator when Bella rounded the corner toward her mother's room. Her sister waited for her to catch up and they entered the room together, each privately praying that Carmella would keep her word and show up for the visit. The expectant look on their mother's face told them she was hoping for the same thing.
Two hours later, with Franny at her side, Bella entered the hospital lobby to find Nick just stepping through the revolving door. Her heart flipped over and it was all she could do to keep from vaulting across the room straight into his arms.
"I was going to ask one of the nurses to bring these to your mother's room. I signed it, "A friend of the family." He held a bouquet of flowers out to Bella. "I hope it wasn't too forward of me."
"Not at all," Franny piped up. "It's really a very nice gesture. Thank you". Her sister's quick response reminded Bella she wasn't alone, which came as a shock since she'd been so focused on Nick she'd forgotten all about Franny. She did a quick introduction of the two and took the flowers from Nick.
"I'll bring them to her in the morning, if you don't mind. The doctors want her to get settled in early tonight," Bella said, stepping through the revolving door, both Franny and Nick on her heels.
"Bella said you were in the home security business," Franny said, when they were outside on the sidewalk. "I'd like to give you a call in a few days. My company is moving into a newly constructed building and my boss is unhappy with the security company he has now. Bella says your system is state-of-the-art."
Nick took a card from his shirt pocket, wrote something on it and handed it to Franny. "I'd be happy to speak with him anytime. Call my office when you're ready. I'll give it my personal attention. If I'm not in, call my cell. I wrote the number on the card."
By the time they reached the parking lot, Nick and Franny were deep in conversation about the rising crime rate and the need for business, as well as home security. When they left Franny at her car, Bella could tell her sister was already captivated by Nick's charm and she hoped if they did do business together it wouldn't be awkward for either one of them when Nick was no longer in her life.
Bella walked to her car with Nick at her side, and by the time they reached it, she had somehow summoned up the courage to broach the subject that was uppermost in her mind. "I tried to reach you all day. You never returned my calls." She hoped she didn't sound whiny or possessive. She didn't mean to be. She just had to know.
Nick put a reassuring hand on her arm. "I'm sorry. I was extra busy today. When I finally found the time to call, you were already gone."
"I left the office early. My sister Carmella called and asked if I could be there when she came to visit my mother. She had to come before regular visiting hours so she'd be back in time to get ready for her first show."
"How'd the visit go?"
This wasn't really what she wanted to talk about, but after all she was the one who had brought the subject up. "It was a little awkward at first, but it turned out fine. My mother was happier than I'd seen her in a long time. Carmella's coming back in the morning for the operation. She won't be able to stay long, because she'll have been up all night."
She handed Nick the flowers to hold while she fumbled in her purse for her key.
"You should always have them ready, you know," Nick said, "the quicker you can get inside your car, the better."
She turned to face him. "I usually do. Tonight's an exception."
"Bella?"
Her heart did the crazy little flip it always did when he said her name. "Yes?"
"Do you want to get something to eat?"
She bypassed the question to get back to the most important thing still on her mind. "I thought maybe you were deliberately ignoring my calls."
She didn't imagine his hesitation and she held her breath until he answered.
"I was. In a way."
"Why?"
There was another pause before he leaned inside the car and carefully laid the flowers on the front passenger seat. When he was standing upright ag
ain, he put both hands on her shoulders.
"I wanted to have some time to think about what's been happening to me."
She pulled in some air and held it in her lungs, afraid to do anything that might interfere with his confession, but the anticipation was too great, so she exhaled slowly and looked up at him. She was vaguely aware of people entering the parking lot, of others leaving, but for her, in the tiny space occupied by just the two of them, time stood still. His fingers tightened on her shoulders. "What's been happening to you, Nick?"
Nick closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them, he riveted them to hers.
"When we first got involved, I didn't expect the attraction between us to get so strong."
His hands slid down her sides, halting for a second at the outer curve of her breasts before his fingers curled at her waist. He pulled her close until their bodies touched and she felt the heat that had already started between them.
"What did you expect, Nick?" She hated that her voice sounded as unsteady as she felt.
"That we'd have a couple of nights of out of this world sex and that would be it."
He closed his eyes again and she felt his whole body shudder as he pulled in a slow, noisy breath. She sensed he was waiting for her to say something, but she couldn't. She didn't want to put any words in his mouth, to interfere with any decision he had made, as painful as it might be to her. "But it wasn't," he finally whispered hoarsely. "It isn't enough."
She let herself sag against him in spite of an earlier resolve to keep her emotions in check when she was around him. She did manage though, to keep her tongue in place so she wouldn't ask him what came next. He would have to make that announcement without any help from her.
His fingers pressed firmly into her flesh and he opened his eyes to look into hers again. "I'm not ready for this to end, yet." The lighting wasn't the greatest, with the moon not yet high and the bouncing headlights from passing cars half-blinding her for seconds at a time, but even so she could see the passion reflected in Nick's eyes. "Are you?"
"No." The word flew out of her mouth as if it had been perched on her tongue, waiting for just the right moment to escape. She swallowed and made her meaning clear. "No, I'm not ready either. Just yet," she added, still in self-protective mode.
He gave a funny little laugh, like he'd tried to hold it back but couldn't. She moved up against him when his fingers urged her forward, enjoying his building desire for her, evident in the hard line of his sex against her belly. Then he pulled back and laughed easier, fuller, this time. "Let's get something to eat," he repeated, bringing his hands down to lace with hers.
Another set of headlights sliced the space between them and she suddenly wanted a place more private. They had both confessed an unwillingness to put an end to what was between them. But that admission only brought up the next concern. What exactly was between them?
"Has it occurred to you that we've done a lot of eating since we met?" she said, playfully.
"It isn't the only thing we've done a lot of," he reminded her. "But," he added, "I have a feeling you don't do a lot of eating when I'm not around, so I'm just doing my part to keep you hardy and healthy ... to keep your strength up for those other things we do a lot of."
She couldn't pass up such a great opportunity, so she moved her hips gently side-to-side so that her belly created friction against his fly. "You seem to be keeping yourself hard-y, too," she teased, quite satisfied with her quick comeback and more than a little surprised at her boldness. He always seemed to draw out all the deep, repressed sexual fantasies she had ever had. Repressed until now, because obviously since she'd met Nick, she hadn't repressed very much.
"Vixen," he retorted, pulling her even closer and mimicking her swaying hips with a swish of his own that had her quickly looking around to see if anyone was looking their way.
He must have sensed her concern because he opened the door wider and moved them in between it and the car so that anyone passing by would have to stop and stare at them to see what they were up to.
Then reason interfered. If they kept this up, they'd be making out in the back seat of the car in a hospital parking lot. Dangerous to say the least. She had to stop this. Now.
Pushing against his chest with her hands, she turned away from him, as much out of embarrassment over the way she had been enticing him as from the need to put some distance between them. "Stop, Nick."
He jerked back in apparent surprise, his hold on her loosening a bit, only to quickly pull her up close to him again. "Can we go someplace? Your house? The yacht?" He slanted his head to the side and made a dive for her lips.
She avoided the kiss and shook her head. "I need to go home. Alone."
"You can't leave me in this condition," he said irritably. To make his point he ground his full-blown erection against her. Panicky, because he was weakening all the vows she'd made to begin putting some emotional distance between them, she thrust her hand downward intending to put a shield between their bodies. It was a stupid thing to do, because instead of blocking their bodily contact, she managed to get a handful of the erection she intended to avoid. And, oh lord, was he hard. And she didn't want to let him go.
Forcing herself to remember how hurt she was when he hadn't returned her calls all day, and reminding herself how much more it was going to hurt when he left, she pulled her hand away and shoved against him, forcing the door open wider.
His hands shot up and grasped her wrists. "What the hell is going on?"
"I need to go."
"And I need you, here, with me. You need me too, I can tell. Why the brush off all of a sudden? Because I didn't get to return your calls today?"
"It's not just that..."
"Aha. But that has something to do with it, right?"
"It's just that we've become too ... too physical. I'm not accustomed to..."
"Are you asking for something more?"
Voices drifted to them from the row of cars next to them, and the beam from another set of headlights cast his face in an eerie glow. His eyes glittered, and his lips had thinned to a hard line.
She dipped her head and closed her eyes, tried to slow down the furious pounding of her heart. "I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to. I heard it in the tone of your voice." He brought her still captured wrists up to his chest. "Look at me."
She opened her eyes and lifted her head. It was quiet again and the only light by which to see him was from the pale moon. She tilted her chin up in what she meant as a defiant gesture. "What do you want from me?"
"What do you mean, what do I want from you?"
"Just what I said. What is it you want from me that made you seek me out at Barnaby's?" She felt his body tense and it was still quiet enough for her to hear the sharp intake of his breath and the low whistle of it as he let it out.
"What makes you..."
"I've thought a lot about it and I don't believe you just happened to find me there by accident. I believe your finding me had something to do with Kevin and very little to do with my safety. It probably had to do with the fact that, as you claim, Kevin was mixed up with drugs and on the take when I knew him." She twisted away from him and tried to get into the car, but he held on tight and wouldn't let her go.
"What I've told you is the truth as I know it. Dammit, I am concerned about your safety."
"But not as much as getting in my pants, I'll bet." She felt the impact of her words in the way his body reared back, like she'd struck him.
"That's not true," he said, his words slurred as they passed through clenched teeth.
Bella felt the hot sting of tears behind her eyes. Damn. The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of him. "The least you could do is be honest with me." Lashing out at him should have made her feel a little more in control, but it didn't. Railing at Nick only made her angry with herself.
They were already so close that when he tried to bring them closer, their foreheads touched. "You want to talk about
honesty? Well how about explaining the two tickets set for a cruise you're due to take shortly." His heated breath seared her lips and it was a second before the implication of what he said, hit her. When it did, she couldn't contain her fury.
"How do you know about the tickets?"
"Because I saw them on the table at your house."
This time when she pulled away from him, he released her and she ducked down and slid inside the car before he could stop her. She gripped the steering wheel with both hands, fighting the rage that had her chest on fire. "You read my mail? How dare you."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. But I did. And there were two tickets. Not one. But two. When were you going to tell me about your little trip? Or did you plan to give me one last blow-job and then sail away with your ex-con lover-boy?"
She wanted to scream, to lash out at him, to hurt him the way he had just crushed her. Not only had he invaded her privacy by reading her mail, but he had the audacity to accuse her of planning to skip out with Kevin. How little he must think of her. Even after her telling him more than once that her feelings for Kevin had died seven years ago.
She could not remember a time in her life when she had felt so low. She was mortified after all the intimate things they had shared. She had trusted him in spite of the nagging doubts she had at their first meeting. Once again, she had been taken advantage of by a man she cared about.
The need to put him in his place, coupled with the fact that she was near hyperventilating and didn't want him to see how much he'd affected her, gave her the courage to confront him. Forcing herself to look at him squarely, she didn't try to hide the anger in her voice.