by Mya O'Malley
“Tomorrow’s supposed to get much colder; they’re talking about a white Christmas,” Adrian shared as they headed outside.
A white Christmas? It had been years since it had snowed on Christmas, or Christmas Eve for that matter. As a matter of fact, the last time it had happened had been the year that Jack proposed to her by the big Christmas tree. Releasing the memory and trying to focus on the here and now, Melody huddled closer as Adrian placed his arm around her waist.
“I would love to see a white Christmas,” Melody told him.
“Me too. There’s nothing better. Who knows, maybe your wish will come true.”
Melody excused herself while she put the dessert and her bag in the car. They walked in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Adrian stopped. “Hey, there’s some music and hot cocoa over in town, near the tree. What do you say?” He peered down at her.
Melody waited a beat before answering. “I don’t think so,” she murmured softly.
“No? Come on, it’ll be fun. What do you say?” He grabbed her shoulders playfully.
“No, Adrian. I don’t feel like it.” She stared down at the sidewalk beneath her feet, wishing he would let it go.
As if sensing that he should drop it, he cleared his throat and took her hand, walking down the street. “Ah, the tree’s no big deal anyway. I would be much happier walking down to our spot by the river.”
Grateful he was such as good sport, Melody clutched his hand tighter. “Thank you,” she said quietly, more to herself.
The river was straight ahead. Adrian picked up the pace, as if eager to reach their destination. When they settled into the same spot as last time they had been down by the river, he dropped to the ground and Melody cuddled in against his body.
“Isn’t it something?” Adrian gazed out at the river, eyes lost in the depths of dark water.
“Yes, it’s beautiful,” Melody agreed. She had always enjoyed coming down to watch the water, it soothed her.
“It’s so peaceful. I could just sit here for hours and stare,” Adrian admitted, chuckling softly.
“It is peaceful. I used to come here sometimes.” She stopped herself, aware that she was headed into dangerous territory.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked gently, putting no pressure on her. Melody was about to say no, that she wasn’t ready, but something inside of her melted toward Adrian. He was a good man. She didn’t know if she was ready to give her heart to him, but she knew that she did enjoy his company.
“If it’s okay, I think I do.” She took as deep breath. Nodding for her to continue, Adrian squeezed her hand and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. Having him there gave her the strength to speak.
“I’ve kept so much inside. I think it’ll do me good,” she started.
“I’m listening,” he encouraged her to speak. When she did, there were tearful moments, but there were also moments in which she laughed. The only thing she didn’t share was the recent memory, the one in which she felt his presence watching the Christmas movie.
She turned to face Adrian when she was through, when there was nothing left to say. He gazed at her, holding back words. After a few minutes had passed, he found his voice.
“I hope that one day we can have memories to share. I hope that we, too, have our love story.”
“Oh, Adrian.” She looked down, pulling at her long sweater. “Why do you have to be so nice?” He kissed her deeply. Melody tasted bitter coffee and the sweet taste that was him.
“Melody.” His voice was husky. “I have something I have to tell you, I don’t want to scare you away, though.”
Bracing herself for what was coming, she winced, wanting to hear the words and dreading them at the same time. She tightened her body.
“I love you.” He sighed softly. “I know you’re upset to hear it, but I can’t help it. Believe me, I’ve tried to help it, I’ve tried to stay away.” He wiped a tear from his face, not daring to look at her, eyes on the water.
“Adrian, I…” She fumbled over her words, nothing sensible coming out of her mouth.
“Melody, I’m not expecting you to say anything back. I know that you’re not ready. The only thing I ask is that you don’t run.” Eyes still on the river, he waited, holding his breath.
Ever so softly, she spoke. ”I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”
Chapter Seventeen
“Tell me everything!” Cassie insisted, pulling her friend into the kitchen and pouring her a chilled glass of eggnog. Melody grinned from ear to ear and sat at the table, her chin propped up by her hand.
“I like him,” Melody confessed. “I really like him.”
“Go on,” Cassie urged, taking the bag with the cheesecake out of her friend’s hand.
“We went for a walk,” Melody started.
“And?” Cassie practically screamed in her friend’s ear.
“And…we talked, really talked.”
“Great, Melody. I think you should give this a chance, I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time,” Cassie confided.
“I know,” Melody whispered.
Cassie rose to grab some paper plates and some forks for the cheesecake. She placed a slice in front of Melody and grabbed another one for herself. Digging into the cheesecake, Cassie continued questioning Melody about Adrian. Leaving out one important detail of the night, Melody finally revealed the most crucial part of the night.
“He told me that he loved me.” Melody sighed.
“Wow. What did you say?”
“Nothing, I couldn’t.”
“Is it because you don’t or because you’re not ready to say it?” Cassie questioned, looking at her friend with worry.
“I’m not there, you know. I mean, I care about him and everything, but I can’t allow myself to feel that right now.”
“Why not? You don’t think you deserve to feel that way? You don’t deserve to be happy?” Cassie’s voice rose.
“He doesn’t deserve it,” Melody spoke quietly and looked directly at Cassie.
“Who are we talking about here? Adrian?” Cassie scrunched her brows.
“No, Jack. He doesn’t deserve to be forgotten. It’s not fair to him.” It hurt Melody to think of Jack, all alone.
“Honey, don’t you see? He would want nothing more. I knew Jack, he was a happy guy with nothing but love for you. He would want this. Somewhere up there he’s looking at you, urging you to love again. I’m sure of it.” Cassie drew a deep breath.
Shaking slightly, Melody grabbed her friend’s hand. “There’s something I need to do, Cassie.”
* * * *
It was Christmas Eve and it had been on her mind all night and all morning. Today she would close the store by 6:00 p.m. and go home to wrap her gifts. There was nothing going on with her family on Christmas Eve, so she would take advantage of the free time. The past few years had been spent with Cassie’s family, but this year her friend had invited Trent to join in the festivities and Melody wanted to give the new couple some space. Besides, she was fine with being alone tonight. Christmas Eve had always been a special time for her since she was a child and it had only grown to be more meaningful after she had met Jack. The fact that he had proposed to her on Christmas Eve all of those years ago only enhanced her feelings about this day. Yes, the memory was bittersweet, but it was one that she held dear.
“Are you sure you don’t want to join us? You wouldn’t be a third wheel or anything, we would love to have you,” Cassie offered.
Melody shook her head. “No, thanks, Cass. I appreciate the offer, but I have plenty to do and I actually enjoy some alone time on Christmas Eve.” Melody saw the look of understanding from her friend. Cassie knew this day held special meaning for Melody and respected her feelings.
“It’s weird, you know, how Oliver never showed his face again.” He had been on her mind with the holidays here. She recalled how they were supposed to spend Christmas together.
“Funny, right, the way
he was so involved with you and then, poof! Nothing,” Cassie stated.
“Yeah, maybe he got wind of the filed complaint against him,” Melody reminded her friend. Cassie nodded and turned to help a customer. Melody wandered over to the young adult fiction section and searched the shelves for something that high school students would enjoy. There had been a lot of interest in a certain trilogy on ghosts. The books were flying off the shelves but she had two sets left. Grabbing one set off the shelf, she walked to her office in the back and put it safely to the side. That would be Adrian’s gift. She just knew that he would love reading these books to his students.
The rest of the day was busy, but otherwise uneventful. Books and other last minute gifts such as journals and knickknacks were selling like hotcakes. Melody was alone in the shop with twenty minutes to go before closing time. Cassie had asked to leave an hour early to get ready for dinner with her family. The next part of the evening would be challenging, heartbreaking and necessary. Melody had a plan of action and was intent on carrying out that plan as soon as possible. It would hurt but it would also be cleansing. Checking her watch, she saw that it was five minutes to six, close enough, she figured. Securing the lock on the door, she checked it twice, just in case. Old habits die hard, she thought, thinking of Oliver. She ran to the back room, grabbed her tiny gift bag and her purse, and shut off the music and the lights. She was off.
Starting her car, she sat back in the driver’s seat and caught her breath. She could do this, she could do this. Glancing at the small gift bag beside her, she fingered it tenderly and took off toward the center of town. With the heater of the car blasting, she powered on the radio. Thinking again, she shut the music off. For this she needed every bit of her concentration. She needed to be strong. Pulling up to the municipal parking lot, she found a spot and turned off her car. Minutes passed and she remained planted in her seat. Her heart was racing, but she finally found a way to get out of the car. Stepping out into the cold, frigid air, Melody realized that the predicted snow for the day had yet to come. The weather forecasters had been sure, close to one hundred percent chance of snow by the afternoon. But here it was, close to seven o’clock and still no snow in sight. It would have been nice, she thought, going back in time. In her mind, she could still see him, right there next to the enormous twinkling tree.
“Just do it,” she willed herself. But now that she was here, looking up at the magical tree in the same spot he had stood, years ago, she wasn’t ready. There were several people walking around, taking pictures beneath the tree. Feeling the weight of her coat pocket, she hesitated, stepped forward but then retreated once more. Glancing around, the wind nipped at her cheeks. She noticed a few shops were still lit. She headed down the road until she found a café that was open and decorated in sparkling blue lights. The hostess seated her and gave her a minute to warm up and unwind.
Walking back to take Melody’s order, Melody had decided on hot chocolate with whipped cream. She was lucky enough to snag a quiet little table by the window. There were few other scattered customers, but on this night, most people were home cuddled up with loved ones.
“Miss? Would you like another refill?” the waitress offered, looking down at Melody with sympathetic eyes. Melody glanced at her watch. It was close to nine o’clock and she was the only customer left in the café. She had been sitting there for hours, just thinking.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sure you want to get home. I’ll take the check,” Melody apologized for having lost track of time.
“No need to apologize, dear,” the older woman stated.
“Thanks.” Melody grabbed the check and intended to leave a generous tip for the kind woman.
“Are you okay?” The waitress’s mouth turned down.
Grabbing her bag, Melody faced the woman. “No, I’m not. But I will be.” She felt a smile grow on her face as she headed for the door, her mind set on her destination: the center of town.
The streets were much quieter now; it was perfect for what she needed to do. The wind continued to pick up and the clouds grew heavy as Melody made her way to the large tree in the town square. With nobody else in sight, save for a few passing cars and a pedestrian across the street, Melody found the spot that she had been looking for and sat with her knees crossed, looking up in awe at the Christmas tree. The town had found a special one this year, its sparkling branches extending widely in every direction. She sat for a while, allowing the warm memories to flow in, giving her strength and courage. With a loud sigh, she stood, steadying herself and reached into her pocket. Her hands were shaking as she studied the ornament that she had bought for Jack this year. It was a boy, an angel, spreading its wings. The face had reminded Melody of Jack, for she had seen many photographs of him as a child. As a matter of fact, it still resembled Jack with his brown hair and piercing blue eyes. Melody said a little prayer and then allowed herself to picture Jack, kneeling down, with the ring in his hand, the future shining on his face. Reaching up on her tiptoes, she gently placed the ornament on a branch.
“Oh, Jack. Why did you have to go?” She wept freely, not ashamed to show her feelings here all alone.
She felt him before he spoke. Turning around swiftly, Melody gasped. Oliver was standing right behind her, close enough to touch her. Fear coursed through her body, prompting her to run, but she was frozen to the spot.
“Oliver!” she cried, finally finding the strength to move away.
“Please, Melody, don’t be afraid,” he cried out to her.
“Get away from me. The police are looking for you, you know. Don’t come any closer.” She edged further away from him.
“Melody. Time’s up. It’s almost midnight on Christmas Eve.”
Melody couldn’t understand what he was talking about. “You’re not making any sense, now go!” she exclaimed, feeling her heart race. She knew if she attempted to run, he would catch her in a heartbeat, but was there any other choice?
“My time is up. The farce is up. Come here,” he said gently, moving toward her.
“Don’t you dare take another step. I mean it, Oliver, I’ll scream,“ she threatened, backing away.
“Melody, I don’t know how else to say this, so I’m going to just come right out and say it. It’s me, Jack.” He didn’t take his eyes from her face.
Melody’s pulse sped up more, her adrenaline kicking in. “Oh…you’re crazier than I thought.” She spun around to gauge her surroundings; could she run into the park and get away? No, she would just become more isolated. He was blocking the way to the street. A lone man was walking down the street, far away, but perhaps close enough to hear her if she yelled. “Help! Help me!” she called out, waving her arms in the air. The man didn’t so much as glance up.
Oliver advanced upon her and she ran toward the park, faster until she stumbled. Looking up, she cried out as Oliver stood before her. “Melody, I’m not going to hurt you.” He got down on his knees and sat beside her. It didn’t appear as if he would hurt her. She caught her breath, trying to get her heart rate back to normal.
“Why, Oliver? Why are you bothering me?” she pleaded.
“I’m sorry if I upset you, My Lady. I wish you could just have an open mind.” He gazed at her, his blue eyes shining in the moonlight. Her heart skipped a beat.
“What did you call me?” Her eyes were wide.
“My Lady, I called you My Lady.” His gaze dropped to the ground, sadness in his eyes.
“I…I don’t know how you knew that. How did you know that? I never even told anybody…” she spluttered.
“I know that.”
“But…but how?” He couldn’t possibly be Jack, but what else could possibly make sense? She took in his face. He looked nothing like Jack, nothing at all. But those eyes, those eyes. Yes, she had thought it was uncanny from the start, the startling blue, the expression. It hit her hard, all at once; her senses were bombarded with memories of Oliver, his funny ways. The way he touched her that first time, the physica
l jolt, how he wouldn’t touch her after that. The way he somehow walked in the bookstore each night after closing with the door locked. The way he took his coffee, his toast, the smell of aftershave lingering, her dreams…
Melody stared at Oliver, her mouth hanging open, eyes wide with disbelief. Why didn’t she see this before? Shaking her head, she cleared her thoughts. No, it couldn’t be. He had to be an imposter, someone who somehow knew everything about Jack, about her, about them. “Leave me alone. I want you to leave,” she gasped, rising to her feet and heading back toward the town square, the tree.
“Melody. Stop. Let me prove it to you,” he called out to her, running to catch up. He was close behind her now, she could hear him breathing. No, she had to outrun him.
Grabbing her and pulling her to face him, she was hit with an electric jolt. At first it stunned her. He held on and the feeling intensified, but it didn’t hurt. This time, she felt a sense of calm, of peace, of love. He moved closer, leaning to place his lips on hers. She was helpless to resist; she wanted to kiss him back more than she could imagine. Visions of Jack, the day they first met, the proposal, vacations, their first day at their new house, the closeness they shared, their wedding and ultimately darker memories, which were soon replaced with light, with love and warmth. She didn’t want to let go, not now, not ever. Jack was the first one to break this kiss. She reached for him and he took her hand. Standing in the exact spot where he had proposed years before, he held both of her hands in his, facing her. The first flake of snow began to fall, softly, slowly until it melted on Jack’s lashes. It was Jack, all Jack now. The pretense of Oliver had lifted and she gazed into Jack’s eyes, his face, his full height of six foot three inches loomed above her. The flakes were huge, white, magical. It looked like it was going to be a white Christmas after all.