“Hey, stop that!” I blared my horn.
I saw two figures disappear from the overpass. Frazzled and certainly not enlightened, I pulled into the parking lot of the ski resort. I was relieved to see that it had been plowed. Snow was piled up at the base of the parking lot, which angled upward. I was in a rush not to be late as I parked. I tucked my keys into my pocket and sprinted up the sidewalk that led to the base of the slopes.
The ski resort was a small place that only opened in the winter. It had three hills—bunny, intermediate, and expert. As I stared up at the tall expert hill my heart fluttered. I was sure that if I was just confident enough, and tried hard enough, I’d be sailing down the slopes in no time. I would make quite an impression on Max when he saw me on skis for the first time. I grinned thinking about it.
As I continued to fantasize about this, a boy—maybe eight years old—whizzed right past me on a snowboard. He spun and jumped without ever losing his balance. I watched in awe as he raced toward the expert slope. Surely, if a boy his age could handle the expert slope, I could too. My confidence ran so high that I considered skipping the lesson and diving right in on my own.
“Samantha?”
The deep voice came from behind me. I turned around to find a golden-haired green-eyed beautiful man. He towered over me by about a foot, and his shoulders were as broad as a lumberjack’s. He was the kind of handsome that all women could agree to drool over, no matter their personal taste.
“Who?”
“Samantha?” He smiled.
“Oh, me?”
“Are you Samantha?” His smile grew wider.
My heart melted. He even had perfect shiny teeth, white as the snow that surrounded us.
“I think so.” I cleared my throat. “I mean, yes. Yes, I’m Samantha.”
“Great, I thought you might not show up.”
“I’m here!”
“Good. I’m Lance, I’ll be your instructor today. Let’s get you on some skis and go over a few simple movements.”
All of the difficult things I faced that morning disappeared from my mind. They were swept away by an avalanche of good will in reaction to my good luck. Though I was a little dazed by his beauty, I tried to speak like a human being.
“I was thinking maybe we should start out on a more advanced slope.”
“Oh?” He set a pair of skis and ski boots on the ground beside a bench. “Do you have some experience? You signed up for the beginner class.”
“Well, no, I don’t have any experience, but I am an adult. I mean, I’ve been involved in sports before.”
“Oh, so you’re an athlete?”
“Uh no, I wouldn’t exactly say that.”
“Hm. Well, why don’t we get you on the skis first and we’ll decide from there. Okay?”
“Okay.” I managed a smile.
Chapter 5
While I changed into the ski boots I imagined the good impression I was going to make. I had obviously underestimated my ability to be successful on the slopes. He was going to see that the moment I was on my feet.
“Now you can lean on me while you get your boots locked in.” He offered me his arm.
I did my best not to actually lean. There was still a part of me that wanted to hide my weight and give the impression that I was light as a feather. Unfortunately, without actually using him to steady myself I had a very difficult time locking the snow boots into the skis. I teetered one way, and then swooped the other. My fingers coiled around his arm in a vice-like grip as I started to fall.
“Easy there, easy there.” He steadied me and placed a hand on my hip. “You have to be able to stand on these to get started.”
I flushed as pink as my snowsuit. Not only was I not ready for anything more than the bunny slope, I could barely stand upright. Once I had my balance, he pried my fingers off of his arm.
“Relax, you can do this. Just give yourself a chance.”
I nodded, but my confidence had deflated. He walked me through the steps involved in going downhill, slowing down, speeding, and the plowing method to stop.
I did my best to mimic the instructions. Luckily, I remained upright the whole time.
“I think I’ve got the hang of it.”
“Great. Then we’re going to practice some movement. We’re not going to go downhill just yet. So you’re going to use these to help you glide along.” He handed me two ski poles. I liked the sound of gliding. “Give yourself a little push to get the momentum started.”
I did just that and glided a few feet forward. It was an enjoyable experience. In fact, it felt so much like flying that I couldn’t wait to do it again. The instructor tried to explain the next step to me, but I was too busy gliding myself forward.
“I’ve got this now! This is pretty easy!” I laughed as I wiggled my skis back and forth. Again I wondered why people found skiing difficult.
“Wait! Samantha!”
With all my wiggling, I ended up too close to the edge of a small hill. It wasn’t big enough to be a slope. But it was big enough for me to go flying down over it. Lance raced after me in an attempt to catch up.
I tried to plow to stop myself, but instead I crossed my skis and ended up in a pink pile in the snow. The safety pins that had replaced the broken portion of my zipper allowed quite a bit of snow to fill the top of my snowsuit. I shivered as I struggled to get to my feet.
Lance pulled me up by my elbow. “Listen, Samantha, I want to work with you, but you have to follow my instructions or you could get hurt. Understand? Do I need to tether you?”
I met his eyes and had to bite into my bottom lip to keep from volunteering to be tethered. “No, I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful.”
“Okay, now move slowly. Keep your focus. Feel the glide of the skis. Don’t let anything distract you.”
I followed his directions but the snow slowly melting in the top of my snowsuit made it difficult for me to concentrate.
“I think that’s enough for today. We’ll take our first trip down the bunny slope tomorrow, alright?”
I nodded, too embarrassed to do much more.
I struggled my way out of the ski boots. I took the top of my ski suit down to dump out the remainder of the snow. As I flapped the material to free it of clinging clumps of snow, a family passed by me—likely Lance’s next class. The mother gasped and covered her son’s eyes, while the father gazed at me far too long. I smiled back at them, though I didn’t understand why they acted so strange.
I looked down at my snowsuit as I slid it back on to discover that not only had I cut through the zipper of my snowsuit that morning, I had cut through my sweater underneath. I’d created a wide triangle in the material that showed off every inch of my bra. I pulled my snowsuit up as fast as I could, mortified that I’d flashed everyone in the surrounding area. At least I’d worn a bra!
I hurried to the parking lot. When I reached it, it was full. There were cars everywhere. When I went to the parking space where I’d left my car—where I was sure I’d parked my car—someone else was parked there. I blinked and looked around the parking lot. I didn’t see my car anywhere. Then I turned around and looked toward the bottom of the parking lot. There was my car, half-stuck in the snow pile.
“I must have forgotten to put on the emergency brake!” I smacked my forehead with the heel of my palm. I walked over to my car and took a look at the situation. The rear wheels were pretty deep in the snow.
When I started the car I hoped that I’d be able to get it to move. The wheels just spun.
“No! No! No!” I put the car in neutral and walked around behind it. I tried to push it, but after my tumble in the snow my snowsuit was slick and my gloves were caked in snow. Every time I pushed, my hands slid off and I hit my chest against the back of the car. After a few rounds of this, a man walked toward me with a sheepish smile.
“Need some help there?”
“Please!”
“Here, all you need is a little push.” He placed his hands
on the car and easily pushed it out of the snow pile. “There you go.”
“Oh, thank you so much. You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve been having.” I was about to rattle off the list of things that had gone wrong when he pointed to my car.
“It’s about to get a lot worse!”
Chapter 6
My car slid on the ice in the direction of the other parked cars. I rushed forward and managed to get inside just in time to hit the brake before it collided. My heart raced, and despite the fact that my snowsuit was soaked from the inside out with snow, my body was covered in sweat. I got the car under control and drove away with the hope that the next half of my day would go much better.
I stopped at home long enough to change into fresh clothes and then headed off for my orientation with the volunteer program.
On the way to the orientation I played peaceful music and attempted a few breathing exercises. My first day at ski class had been disastrous. That didn’t mean that the rest of the day needed to be.
I arrived at the mall and parked in a clear spot. I double-checked the emergency brake. Then I headed inside. A small sign directed me to an office. I pushed the door open and stepped inside.
The first thing that I noticed was how much larger I was than everyone else in the room, and not in the way I was used to. All of the other people in the room were much shorter than me.
I smiled as I walked in. A few of them stared at me. Then the door of the office swung open with a bang. Everyone, including me, jumped. I spun around to see a very angry face. It belonged to a woman that couldn’t have been more than four feet tall.
“Well, well, looks like the recruits are all here. Line up! Against the wall!” She stomped her foot. A bell attached to the tip of her curled shoe jingled, which did nothing to make the command less frightening.
I practically tripped over my feet to get to the back wall, as did all of the other people that seemed as equally terrorized by the woman’s sharp tone. She walked back and forth in front of us with her hands clasped at the base of her back.
“Are you really ready for this? I’m not so sure.”
I looked at the other people around me for any sign of what my answer should be.
“I said, are you really ready for this?”
“Yes, elf!” All of the other people responded.
“Yes, elf?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Do you have a problem with that, newbie?” The woman paused right in front of me and glared up into my eyes. “Do you not understand the seriousness of your role as an elf?” She reached into her pocket and pulled out two pointy ears. She placed them over her ears and continued to hold my gaze. I got the impression that if I laughed I might get punched in the gut.
“No, elf.” I squeaked out my words and hoped that was the right answer.
She appeared appeased as she began to pace back and forth again.
“Listen up, elves, we’re not going to sugarcoat the situation here. You’re about to go to war, and you need to be ready for it.”
I stared at the short red-headed woman who paced the front of the room. She looked as if she was ready to take anyone out who questioned her authority. Though she wore elf ears and shoes curled at the toe, her expression was harsh. She glared into the eyes of every elf that she passed.
“You’re going to deal with snot, with vomit, and with volatile unpredictable little beasts.”
My lips parted in shock at her description of the children. If anyone else was shocked by the woman’s behavior they certainly didn’t show it. As she continued to pace she spoke so sharply that spittle flew out of her mouth.
“They will bite you, scratch you, pee on you—and those little beasts might even engage in the dreaded full body cling.”
“The full body cling?” I blinked. “What’s that?”
“Oh, you don’t know, do you, newbie?” The woman chuckled. “Imagine, if you will, taking a stroll through the park on a sunny day. Everything is calm and bright. Then, out of nowhere, a rabid spider monkey sinks its claws into your shoulders and wraps its legs around your waist in a vise-like grip. You can scream, you can squirm, but that sucker is not going to let you go. When this happens, there’s nothing any of us can do to help you. You just have to pray that the parasite has a parental figure with enough sense to pry it from your terrified body.”
I laughed as she stared into my eyes. “Wow, that’s pretty creative.”
“Why are you laughing?” the woman shouted into my face.
“Huh? I thought it was a joke.” I took a step back.
She moved forward; the bells on the tips of her shoes jingled with each step, but there was nothing merry about her glare.
“There is nothing funny about elves and children. We are on two different sides of civility and it’s best not to forget that.”
“I really can’t believe that you are speaking about children as if they are some kind of wild animals. These are just kids who are hoping to have a good Christmas.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, girly.” She scrunched up her nose and glared into my eyes. “These kids are angry and sugar-crazed, and they want to cause harm to innocent elves.”
“Does anyone else find this absurd?” I looked around at the other elves in training. “Obviously there can be a bad apple or two in the group, but I’m sure the majority of these kids will be polite and happy to see us.”
“Well, I guess we’ll find out tomorrow night, won’t we?” The woman smirked. “Oh yes, we’ll find out for sure.”
My hands still shook a little as I left orientation. Never did I imagine that volunteering could be so intense. I was equipped with my own elf ears and shoes, but I left behind part of my soul, the part that believed Christmas could be merry. If not even a roomful of elves had holiday cheer, what chance did I have of finding it anywhere else?
Chapter 7
I was discouraged when I arrived home. I tried to work on my Secret Santa project and ended up hot-gluing my fingers to a pine cone. Then I had to search the web for a way to remove the glue.
By the time I got around to getting any writing down I was exhausted. After writing a few paragraphs I gave up and stretched out on my bed. I thought about all the ways things had gone wrong. I didn’t think it could get much worse.
At least I had a fully prepared Christmas dinner to look forward to. I closed my eyes and fell asleep with a hint of dread about what the next day would bring.
I woke the next morning with no more inspiration than I’d fallen asleep with.
I decided to check my blog to see if my update had been a hit. I found many other people that understood the stress I put on myself, especially during the holidays. Reading all of their perceptions of things reminded me to rise above the stress and embrace the moment.
I picked out a new sweater to wear under my snowsuit and sewed some Velcro patches onto the cut portion.
I arrived at my ski lesson after parking carefully in the parking lot. I braced myself for what I might face after the day before.
Lance smiled at me as he walked up. “Good morning, Samantha. Are you ready for your first journey down the bunny slope?”
“I think so.” I forced a smile. If my track record from the day before was any prediction of how this lesson would go, I was less ready and more scared.
“Alright, let’s go ahead and get you on your skis, then we’ll take the lift up to the top.”
I looked at the swinging metal seat and gulped. Would it hold me? What if I fell out? What if I tripped?
I sat down on the bench and put on my boots and skis. Then very slowly I got to my feet. With my arms straight out I made sure my balance was solid before I attempted to glide toward Lance.
“Wow, look at you. What a great job you’re doing.”
His praise made me feel a bit like I was back in grade school, but I still smiled.
“Come with me. We’ll hop on the lift, and soon you’ll be sailing down the hill.”
I wanted
to be excited. When I sat down on the lift and it began to move, I tried to be excited. When it reached the top of the hill and Lance reached for my hand, I tried to be eager. Instead, I clung so tight to his hand that he had to shake himself free of me.
“No need to worry, Samantha. Even if you lose your balance, you won’t get hurt. I’m here to make sure of that.” He patted the back of my snowsuit.
I took a deep breath and nodded. It was time that I dedicated myself to being in the moment and getting the most out of my experience. Otherwise, there was no point in doing it.
I closed my eyes for a moment to try to clear my mind. Unfortunately, in that same moment, Lance instructed me to start down the slope. When I didn’t, he gave me a little push.
Before I could even open my eyes, I’d already picked up speed. I tried to plow my skis to slow myself down but my legs spread apart instead. Lance, who was beside me, did his best to steer me, but I was out of control. I spun to the side and right out of the pure driven snow into the bushes that lined the slope.
It wasn’t a pleasant landing, but it wasn’t very painful either. I struggled to get to my feet. In the process I raised my ski pole into the air with the intention of stabbing it down into the ground to stabilize myself. When I heard metal strike skin and a gasp from Lance, I realized it was a bad decision.
I turned around to see Lance’s hand cupped over his right eye. He stumbled and then rolled down the entirety of the bunny slope. I stared in horror as he landed with a poof of snow at the bottom of the hill. Several young children surrounded him with pointed fingers and peals of laughter.
“Little beasts,” I muttered. Maybe the head elf was right after all.
I started to go after Lance to make sure that he was okay, but once more my legs spread and I ended up rolling right down the hill right behind him. He was just getting to his feet when I collided with his athletic frame like a frozen bowling ball.
He shrieked and I got a mouthful of snow. The rescue staff for the ski resort had to untangle us, as our ski boots had managed to get stuck together. Lance still had one hand over his eye and refused to look at me.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
Sammy's Christmas List Page 2