by Taylor Dean
“I’d love to.”
The sight of his home is unexpected. It’s a rambling three-story Victorian in need of a lot of TLC. Zane takes me on a tour, his enthusiasm for the house evident in everything he says. The house smells strongly of sawdust and lots of other unpleasant renovation odors. I see why Zane hasn’t moved in yet. The floors are stripped down to the joints and new hardwood floors will be put in at some point.
“Zane, you can’t move in here soon. It’s not livable like this.”
He shrugs. “The renovation will take two or three months. I figure I can shack up in one of the bedrooms in the meantime, after all the demo is done.”
“Or just stay with me. No one needs to know.”
“Oh, they’ll know. They know everything. They probably knew about us before we did.”
My mind wanders to the pictures I found this morning. Have pictures been taken of me and Zane? Does Ryker already know about us? I feel like I’m living in a surreal spy movie.
“Hey, don’t worry about it. We haven’t done anything wrong. We won’t let them make us feel like we have.”
“Maybe we should keep this on the downlow,” I suggest.
He walks toward me until we’re face to face, his eyes on mine. I’m not sure how I ever thought he wasn’t an intense man. His penetrating gaze leaves my knees weak and my lips quivering.
Artie is tucked into one arm. He rests his other arm above me, leaning on the wall I’m standing against. “On the downlow?” he says, his voice raspy.
“Yeah. Just between me and you.” I can feel every inch of him longing to close the distance between us.
But he doesn’t. He lets us both want it, yearn for it.
“A secret love affair? Is that what you’re suggesting?” he asks.
Love? Me and Zane? He’s not holding back at all. “Yes, I guess I am. For a while anyway. I don’t want anything to ruin us before we’ve even begun.”
“By anything, you mean Ryker and Debra.” It’s a statement, not a question.
“If they find out, they’ll interfere. I have no doubt of that.”
“You’re right. They will.” He breathes in deeply. “Okay, I’m in. I like the idea of this being ours and no one else’s.”
“Just me and you. For as long as we can have it that way.”
“I like the sound of that,” he says quietly. “It won’t last for long, though. They’re always watching.”
“Maybe not. But we’ll enjoy it while it’s ours.”
“Yes, we will.” His lips wander over my forehead, a whisper on my skin.
My breath is ragged as it makes its way through my windpipe. We haven’t even shared a kiss yet, and we’re talking about our love as though it’s a very real tangible thing.
He lowers his face, pressing his forehead to mine. I can feel his breath on my face and as I look up at him, I again wonder if he’s about to kiss me. His eyes drop to my lips, then travel back up and meet my gaze once again. He licks his lips and I swear he does it in slow motion.
“Okay,” he says. “We’re a secret. For now. Just long enough to make us secure as a couple, ready to face whatever life throws our way. Deal?”
“Deal.”
“Not for too long, though. Not being able to kiss you in public is going to kill me. Not being able to hold you or touch you whenever I want will drive me wild.”
Technically, we haven’t done any of those things yet. Speaking about them before they’ve happened is making my chest rise and fall as though I can’t catch my breath. My insides have turned to jelly and I’m about to melt into a puddle on the floor.
I can’t speak. I simply nod. I think we have a lot to look forward to while we explore our new relationship.
Zane backs away. I’m tempted to grab his shirt by the collar and pull him back. Kiss him until he can’t breathe.
But I don’t. I like when the man makes the first move.
“Let’s get outta here,” he says.
On the way home, I ponder over our day together and I reach a conclusion. Even though Zane’s lips have not so much as touched mine and I really have no idea if we’re physically compatible, I think I know what Ryker and I were missing.
Chemistry. Both mental and physical.
It’s that simple.
chapter twenty
~
WHEN WE ARRIVE home, we place an assortment of bright yellow, red, and teal pillows on the couch. They look amazing against the white couch.
We place a gray and white striped tray on the coffee table, with a red vase and yellow flowers on top. We put teal candle holders on the dining table. We add a few more vases with flowers to the sparse shelving unit along the living room wall. We also add the ceramic animals, interspersing them with Ryker’s books. It makes the room come alive. The colors pop out and grab you.
We stand back to study our efforts. Zane wraps one arm around me. “What do you think?”
“I love it,” I tell him.
“Vast improvement.”
“And Ryker can easily remove it all if he hates it.”
“Annnnnnnd he will.”
For some reason, the thought makes us giggle like kids.
We add the painted geckos to Ryker’s nightstands, one on each side. They’re so silly and lighthearted, my eyes are drawn to them immediately.
“I can guarantee I’ll be taking them with me when I leave.”
“I’ll fight you for them,” Zane says, and we laugh a little more.
Zane grabs my hands. “C’mon, jump with me. It’ll mess up the covers and make this place look lived in.” He pulls me toward the bed.
“No, we can’t.”
Well, we could, actually. My white comforter is on the bed. I placed Ryker’s expensive white bedspread in his closet, folded neatly. I was scared I’d mess it up.
“We can and we will. It’s the finishing touch to add some life to this place.”
Zane pulls me up onto the bed and he starts jumping up and down. With my hands in his, I almost have no choice but to join him.
“Higher!” he says, laughing.
I jump a little harder, going higher with each bounce. I’m laughing so hard, I can hardly catch my breath. He props me up with his hands and I almost feel like I’m flying.
Artie enters the room and barks at us, I’m sure wondering if we’re going crazy.
I am. I’m going crazy with Zane. And I love it.
We collapse onto the bed, out of breath, laying on our backs, and breathing hard.
“I don’t know about you, but that felt great,” Zane says.
“It did. But everything feels good with you.”
“Everything?”
“Everything so far and everything I imagine doing with you.”
He faces me, so I turn and face him too. He reaches out and moves my hair out of my eyes. Gently, he cups my cheek. His simple touch makes my blood rush through my veins at an accelerated rate.
“You’re beautiful, Mila.”
My mind races as I ask in an uncertain tone. “What are we doing?” I’m very aware that we’re in Ryker’s bed, of all places. We’re alone, but it doesn’t feel like we are.
“What do you want us to be doing?”
I scoff. “That’s a dangerous question.”
“Now I gotta know the answer. Will it make me blush?”
I grab a pillow and hit him over the head with it a few times. He doesn’t fight back. He just laughs in response.
My phone rings, startling us. We both sober quickly as I pull it out of my pocket like it’s a ticking time bomb.
“It’s Ryker.”
“Don’t answer,” he says.
I slide my finger across my screen, turning it off. “I haven’t answered his calls for several days.”
“You haven’t?”
“No. He’s calling as though nothing has changed and I don’t know what to say to him.”
“Have things changed?” he asks, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallow
s.
I guess he needs to hear me say it. “Yes. There’s someone new in my life.”
He raises his eyebrows in a flirty manner. “Who might that be?”
“The garbage man. Haven’t you noticed? He’s really cute with his bulging stomach and wifebeater t-shirts. I’m in love.”
He remains deadpan. “Hmm. I’m so jealous.”
“You should be.”
“It’s all right. Full disclosure here. I have another secret love too.”
“Who?”
“That gray-haired lady in apartment 2B. She’s always out walking her dog in the morning, wearing her flannel robe and fuzzy slippers, rollers in her hair, a ciggy between her fingers. Man, she gets me going every time.”
I hit him with the pillow again and he dissolves into laughter, holding his stomach as he rolls around on the bed. I can’t help but join him. What a goofball.
When we calm down, we face each other again. Our smiles slowly die. The air in the room feels heavy, like it’s pushing down on me, pushing us toward each other.
“It’s you, Zane. It’s you.” I whisper my words because I feel like I uttered something sacred.
He nods, discerning my meaning.
After a few moments, he says quietly, “We’re alone. No one watching, no one disapproving.”
I push thoughts of Ryker out of my mind. I want this moment to be all about Zane. “Just us.”
“No ghosts?”
All at once, I can’t think of anyone but Zane. I’m not even sure I could utter my own name. “There’s only you.”
He scoots closer, again cupping my cheek. His eyes blink heavily, almost in slow motion. “Is this what you want, Mila?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
As the word leaves my mouth, his lips touch mine in the softest, sweetest manner. They move against mine with a caress so light, I nearly shiver. He massages his lips against mine, the touch tender. He takes my bottom lip in between his and holds it gently. Then he moves to my top lip, doing the same, savoring each move and holding it for several moments.
Even though it’s a slow kiss and I’ve been craving a deep kiss, I wouldn’t change a thing. This is the perfect first kiss. So unhurried, it’s tantalizing. Each touch is designed to entice—and the desired effect is achieved. He takes his time, kissing me so leisurely that when he pulls away for a micro-second, it feels like an eternity and I can hardly wait for his parted lips to return to mine, to feel his lips exploring mine. The world around me disappears and only Zane exists.
When it’s over, he backs away. We stare at one another for several moments.
“Wow,” he says, his voice gritty. “That was unexpected.”
It was better than I could’ve imagined. “For me too.”
“I have no idea where this is going, but I want to find out.”
“Me too.” It’s all I can say. I’m speechless.
“Okay, c’mon, we have a Jeopardy rematch waiting for us.” He pulls me up and off the bed, changing the atmosphere abruptly.
Good decision. The moment was entirely too intense for a first kiss.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I think I must look as stunned as I feel. In true Jeopardy style, I form my answer into a question. “What is thunderstruck?”
Zane throws his head back and laughs heartily.
As for me, I stand there and stare, soaking him in. I sort of feel like doing my happy dance, jumping up and down and giggling. Is this the giddy feeling my mom thought I should have over my man?
If so, I’m there.
While Zane retrieves the next Jeopardy recording in our line-up, I go to the kitchen to throw together a light dinner. Just some sandwiches and fruit.
I can’t help myself. I do actually feel giddy. I break into my happy dance, even though it’s not a Mila’s Musical Moment. It’s still one of the most important moments of my life. I know it, I feel it. Mom was right. I need a man who makes me feel like I can’t contain myself.
I jump up and down and the most ridiculous giggling sounds escape my lips. I don’t care. I’m a grown woman who has finally found love. I know it because there’s no comparison to how I felt with Ryker. This is completely different, and I’m smitten. I don’t know how I know, but I do. I just know. Zane’s The One.
The sound of Zane clearing his throat interrupts me.
I swing around, my face as red as an apple.
“I didn’t hear any piano playing.” I can tell he’s trying really hard to hide his smile.
I bite my lip, caught in the act of swooning over a man. Like a teenager. “No.”
“Does that mean that cute little dance you just did was for . . . me?”
My mind rehearses lots of snappy comebacks. I’ll never tell. A girl’s gotta have a few secrets. That’s for me to know and you to find out. There was a bee.
Instead, I just say, “Yes.”
His face breaks out into the biggest smile I’ve seen to date.
chapter twenty-one
~
ON MONDAY NIGHT, we’re both home in time to watch Jeopardy live and our stiff competition is in full swing.
Except we’re cuddled up on the couch, holding hands, and congratulating each other when we get one right. Maybe it’s not exactly a stiff competition.
“What is Bonanza?” Zane hollers in response to the classic TV show category-answer about a man who has three sons and lives on a ranch in Nevada.
He gets it right and I give him a high five.
“Who is Alf?” I shout. It was another TV classics answer about a character who likes to eat cats from the planet Melmac.
“Good one, Mila,” he says.
All at once, our show is interrupted with breaking news.
The scene is of the Golden Gate Bridge. Traffic is backed up in both directions due to some sort of accident.
“Must be a bad accident to stop traffic,” Zane remarks.
We get to our feet and look out the window. Sure enough, we can see a long line of headlights fanning out into the distance.
Then Jeopardy is back on and we sprint back to the couch so we don’t miss anything, chuckling at our priorities.
Several minutes later, the news interrupts again. This time a reporter is live at Fort Point, speaking about the situation at the Golden Gate Bridge. Cameras are pointed to the underside of the huge bridge.
“The Golden Gate Bridge is officially closed to both northbound and southbound traffic. Police have discovered an unidentified object suspended underneath the bridge. The object is described as a large can suspended by a rope. Speculation says it could be a bomb, therefore precautions are in place. However, experts are saying if it is a bomb, it’s too far down to damage the bridge.”
Zane sits up, leaning closer to the TV, his attention immediately piqued. “That’s not true. Depends on what kind of bomb it is. The right bomb could easily take out the entire bridge.”
On the heels of his words, his phone rings. I think we both know what will happen next.
No. My stomach clenches painfully.
Concern marring his features, Zane answers. “Captain Martel.” He listens for a second. “I can be there in fifteen.” He listens again. “I’ll be there.”
He hangs up, his eyes flying to mine. “I have to go. They’ve called my team to take care of the situation at the bridge.”
He rushes to his room to change his clothes.
Paralyzed with fear, I stare at the TV. The strange object dangling from the bridge. The possibility of a bomb that could go off at any moment. Zane rushing into the situation, putting himself in danger. A fall from that height is almost a guaranteed death. Only a handful of people have survived such a plunge. So many things could go wrong.
I could lose Zane. The magnitude of his job hasn’t hit me yet. Not until this very moment.
I don’t like it. Not one bit.
He’s out and ready to go in two minutes flat. He gives me a quick hug, his mind on his mission.
&nbs
p; “Zane, wait. Are you going to the bridge?” Dumb question. Of course he is. But I don’t want him to.
“Yes.”
“Do you think there’s a bomb?” I ask. Another dumb question he can’t answer.
“I won’t know until I look.”
How? How is he going to look? It’s suspended from the Golden Gate Bridge.
“I have to go, Mila. Everything will be fine.”
He’s close to the door and I’m standing in the middle of the living room with ice running through my veins. “Zane, wait!”
He turns and looks at me. And before I even know what’s happening, he’s running to me and I’m running to him. We smack into each other in the middle and his lips are on mine, hard, fast, and demanding. It’s a wild kiss, the kind of kiss I’ve been wanting, the kind that says I’m crazy for you. The kind that says I can hardly stand to be away from you. The kind of kiss that tells me he has feelings for me, out of control feelings. Nothing lukewarm here. No, quite the opposite . . . and I love it.
He pulls away and holds me by my shoulders. “I love you, Mila. I’m sorry if it’s too soon to say that, but there it is. I love you. I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you. That’s just the way it is. I love you.”
No falling. He’s in love with me.
He kisses me one more time, another rough kiss filled with more emotion than I suspected he felt for me.
And then he’s off, heading for the door with fast footsteps.
“Zane!”
He pauses.
“I love you too. I do. Please come back.”
He turns, his eyes so intense I take a step backward.
“Make no mistake, I’ll be back for you.”
And then he’s gone.
I stand there, unable to move, frozen in place. Fear is coursing through me, along with high doses of adrenaline.
I reach up and touch my tender lips. He kissed me like I’ve always wanted to be kissed. Like he means it.
I rush to the TV and find a news channel that is covering the situation live and non-stop.
I’m glued to it as they announce the Army bomb squad has arrived.
This is Zane. This is his job. Ryker said he was irresponsible, a nomad who wanders the earth. That’s so unfair. He’s a modern-day hero. A man who goes out and does his job without asking for accolades or attention. If I ever hear Ryker lambast him again, he’ll get an earful from me.