Catching her breath, she said, “How did this happen? I’m almost certain it wasn’t what I’ve heard people call ‘the afterglow.’”
Chapter Six
Cam started laughing all over again. When his mirth finally subsided, he said, “I think I’m way too protective of my mom, Kirstin. I’ll work on that. And I’m sorry if she was rude to your father.”
“I’m sure he had it coming,” she replied.
“As for rushing into things,” Cam said, “we are. Please don’t get upset with me again for saying it, but we’re just really getting to know each other.”
“So you don’t feel like I do.”
“I didn’t say that. I’m feeling way too much, way too fast. And I should know better. But for some reason, I can’t seem to slow things down. I’ve paid for one mistake for more than seventeen years. This time I want to be absolutely sure.”
“I understand.” She shifted her shirt around to get it on correctly and then struggled to fasten the buttons. “I did rush things by going to your room. And I don’t want to make a mistake, either. Only this doesn’t feel like a mistake to me, and I think maybe, because you’re older than me, you think having sex is like making a commitment. Only for people my age, it isn’t necessarily that way.”
“Are you implying that there’s a generation gap between us?” Cam held up his hands. “I’ve had sex with plenty of women, and they weren’t making a commitment and neither was I. It just feels different with you. And it also feels important.”
She folded her arms. “It feels important to me, too. My first time with a guy, it didn’t. Being with you was amazing.”
Cam went still. “Um, wait a minute. Are you saying you’ve been with only one other guy? You said you’d dated several guys after the first one.”
“Yeah, but I do have standards. All the others were duds.”
“Well, hell.” Cam leaned his head back to study the ceiling.
“It feels right with you. Please don’t regret what we did.”
“I don’t regret it.” He sighed. “It felt right to me, too. It still feels right. So maybe I’m thinking too much. When you get to be an old guy like me, you feel obligated to behave maturely.”
She giggled and bumped his arm with her shoulder. “You can be as mature as you like.”
“Do you see my concern? I should have known how many men you’d been with before I joined the lineup. And now I find out there isn’t a line—or almost isn’t one, anyway.”
“You are thinking too much,” she teased. “Dad put a lid on my social life, but he couldn’t stunt my emotional growth. I’m a grown woman. I think we’ve found something special. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. But why worry about it now? How do you stop feelings? I think we just need to go with the flow and see where we end up, enjoying each other as we go along.”
Cam couldn’t think of a better plan. “In order to do that, we need to figure out how to deal with our parents.”
“Yes. Before I left, Dad was ranting and raving to Miguel, saying it’s time to build a tall, sturdy barrier to keep the white trash next door off his land.” Her mouth thinned. “How can we see each other if our parents are feuding? Dad was talking about a brick wall, for heaven’s sake.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No, I’m not kidding. If he hauls in a big load of bricks, I swear I may bean him with one of them.”
Cam shook his head. “It is a pickle,” he admitted. “Funny thing is, Mom didn’t say a word about all this to me before I left to meet you.”
“Maybe she didn’t want to spoil our evening. Also, she has no idea about the wall yet. She’s new to the valley and may not realize how volatile Dad can be.”
“Do you know any more details about what they said to each other?”
Kirstin focused on the wall, her expression thoughtful. “Well, when Dad was ranting to Miguel, he said he would ruin you, and then he asked how your mom dared to tell him that his reputation would be just as tarnished as yours before it all ended. Dad kept saying, ‘Who the hell does she think she is?’ Apparently she said if he started slinging dirt, she had a pretty strong pitching arm in this valley herself.”
“Madeline McLendon,” Cam said softly. “That’s who my mother is.”
“I know. At the Cowboy Tree that first day, I overheard you and Trish talking about her latest release.”
“I don’t think about her public persona much. But she has a gigantic Facebook following, and she wasn’t talking smack. When we moved here, she had oodles of fans from the valley who posted about how excited they were to have her here.” He paused and joined her in staring at the rug. “Shit, Kirstin. If Mom posts about your dad’s behavior toward her, her fans will tell their friends, and their friends will tell their friends. We’re going to get caught in the middle of a smear campaign.”
“If it weren’t so awful, I’d laugh. If anyone has that coming, it’s my father.” She met his gaze. “As always when it involves me, he thinks the worst and hates your guts for defiling his daughter. He said—his words, not mine—that I was ‘tonguing your tonsils.’ We got in a huge fight. I told him he wasn’t welcome in my house anymore, that I’d smack him on the nose if he cracked open the door. That it’s my life, and I may be entertaining a gentleman friend at night.”
“You didn’t give me these details in your texts this morning.”
“It’s difficult in texts to tell everything.”
“And he now knows I’m the gentleman you might entertain.”
“I don’t think gentleman is one of his preferred nouns to describe you.”
Cam chuckled. Then he sobered. “You’re right. If we’re going to take this relationship forward from here, we’re faced with a hell of a mess.”
Kirstin nodded. “And I really hope we do move forward.”
Cam met her worried gaze. “When you texted about us meeting tonight, you didn’t say a word to me about a brick wall.”
“I know it was selfish of me. But with everything blowing up at the ranch, I was afraid I’d never get another chance to be with you. Dad was already furious and out to get you. I couldn’t see how being with you tonight could make matters any worse.”
He bent sideways to kiss her forehead. “True enough. He’s already pissed off. And he was also already bent on doing his best to ruin me. At least we had tonight together before everything turns ugly.” He trailed his lips down her cheek and gently angled his mouth over hers. The kiss turned long and deep. When he came up for air, he said, “We haven’t used this bed yet, and I paid for both rooms. I think we should get our money’s worth.”
“Spoken like a true Scotsman. But first I want to tell you that I won’t let him harm your career without a fight, Cam. No matter what happens between us, whether we can make this work or not, I’ll use every weapon I have against him. You’ll always be my good friend.”
“Thank you for that, Kirstie. But this may end up being a battle between me and your dad. Unless, of course, my mother gets involved. Then Sam Conacher may find himself squaring off with a totally pissed-off Irishwoman. Trust me when I say I wouldn’t envy him in that event. Madeline McLendon is a sweet lady, but she has one huge fault.”
“Which is?”
“Do one of her loved ones wrong, and your ass is grass with her pretending to be a lawn mower.” Cam frowned. “It’s kind of scary when I think about it, actually. She could write a book titled ‘One Thousand and One Ways to Commit Murder and Get Away with It.’”
Kirstin chortled. “Go, Madeline!” She no sooner spoke than she sobered. “She wouldn’t really hurt Dad, would she?”
Cam grinned. “I’m guessing not.” He glanced behind her at the untouched bed and wished he had her lying on it. He locked an arm around her and gently rolled her onto her back. “You’re so damned beautiful, Kirstie. I can’t keep my hands off you.”
She smiled and bent a denim-clad leg over his hip. “Then don’t try.”
He cupped her face between his hands. “This old guy has one more thing he wants to say. In relationships, no matter how fabulous they seem at first, a smart woman holds part of her heart in reserve until she knows for sure that things will work out.”
“Are you holding part of your heart in reserve?”
Cam kissed her and groaned against her lips. “No, damn it. And I know it’s not smart.”
She trailed a kiss along his jaw and then whispered in his ear, “Then just let go and be foolish with me.”
• • •
Morning came early for Cam and Kirstin. He returned to his room to quickly shower and dress, then met her in the hall. Even with her hair still damp, she looked beautiful. She’d dressed for work on the ranch, her clothing less flashy than the previous night. In only minutes, they were in his truck and headed south toward home, both of them sipping lattes.
The moment Cam pulled the truck out onto Highway 93 and got up to traffic speed, Kirstin resurrected her concerns about their parents. “We didn’t really solve much of anything last night, Cam. I can’t help but be worried. I think I can bully Dad into backing off, but what if I can’t? And what if he obliterates any chance you have? Your family is depending on you to bring in an income.”
“I’m licensed in Idaho, too. And I can be there and back in a day. I suggest that we ignore your dad’s threats. He can’t hold a grudge against me forever.” He sent her a reassuring grin. “And I’ve got my charming personality to fall back on. Ranchers may hear negative stuff about me, but I’ll do everything possible to overcome that. I’m good at what I do, and this is a perfect place for someone with a background in both fish and game biology to sell ranches. I can show potential buyers land and knowledgeably point out its varying topography, along with the wildlife species it may attract.”
She turned her cup in her hands. “And us? Or do you think there’ll even be a chance for us?”
Cam fixed his attention on the road. “After last night, I sure hope we’ll move forward from here, Kirstie. We’ll deal with our parents somehow so we can see each other.”
“Thinking positively, Cam, what if this is the real deal, and later we end up wanting to get married?”
“Whoa. Where did you tuck that part of your heart I asked you to reserve?”
“It’s in my shirt pocket. Judging by how great things are between us, is it so crazy of me to think of the possibilities?”
“No, it’s not crazy. You’re like an unexpected miracle to me, Kirstie. A dream I had started to think might never come true. My next chapter. Remember? If neither of us starts to feel differently, getting married would be the logical outcome. In the event that we do make it official and eventually have a baby, we’ll establish strict visitation rules for our parents. If they can’t be civil to each other, they’ll have to take turns visiting. If one of them misbehaves, he or she won’t be invited again.”
Kirstin sent him a surprised look. “You’re hoping to have a baby? You’re almost finished raising Caleb. Surely you aren’t thinking about starting all over again?”
“I’m only thirty-five, and as much as I’ve loved raising Caleb with the unflagging assistance of my parents, it wasn’t a normal situation. In college, I took a full course load and worked. I squeezed in all the time I could with him. My parents were wonderful, and he certainly didn’t lack for attention or love. But I missed out on so many little things, coming home at night barely in time to rock him to sleep when he was small, to read a bedtime story when he got older. I missed seeing him take his first step. He lost his first tooth when I was working. I can’t count the times I couldn’t be with him when he got sick. I’d like a chance to be there for almost everything with my second child.”
Her answering smile made her face glow. “I’m so glad. I really want a baby.”
“Only one?”
“Well, I’d actually like three, but if you and I are together, we’ll already have Caleb.”
“Maybe we’ll shoot for two, then—if we’re together. Don’t pull that piece of your heart out of your pocket yet.”
She huffed under her breath.
“I’m only asking that you keep both feet on the ground,” Cam told her. “I may have a load of bad habits you haven’t discovered yet. Little things that will drive you crazy.”
“I’ve already discovered one. You assume because of my limited experience and lesser age that I’m emotionally unprepared to deal with falling in love and getting my heart broken. I’ll soon be twenty-seven. I’ve dealt with a lot of shit. I had to shoot a horse once. Have you ever done that?”
Cam swallowed hard. “I can’t imagine having to do something like that.”
“I’m not sixteen. Why does everyone treat me as if I am? First my dad, now you. It’s starting to piss me off.”
Cam glanced over at her. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He turned his attention back to the road. “We’ve talked about so many deep subjects, and you never told me about having to shoot a horse.”
“Trust me, if you ever have to do that, you’ll never want to talk about it, either.” She bent her head. “It was Dad’s horse, his favorite one. We were way up in the mountains on one of our grazing parcels. A bank gave way under him and the horse, and they tumbled more than forty feet down a steep and rocky slope. The horse had open compound fractures in both front legs. It was in agony. We couldn’t wait for hours until a vet could get there to euthanize it. We couldn’t get it down the mountain to the trailer to take it in. Dad tried to shoot it. He’d put the end of the rifle barrel on its forehead, curl his finger over the trigger, and then lower the gun to his side. He loved the horse so much he couldn’t do it, so I had to. Sometimes you do what you have to do and think about it later. My dad was bleeding and banged up. I had to get him off the mountain and to a hospital.”
Cam wasn’t sure what to say. “I’d have nightmares.”
“Oh, yeah. They always end with a loud bang and me sitting straight up in bed with sweat pouring off me. My point is that I’m perfectly capable of living through a breakup. Stop trying to protect me. I know how to pick myself up and glue myself back together again.”
Cam nodded. “Request granted.”
• • •
Normally Maddie went straight to work in the morning, but Sam Conacher’s implied threat yesterday to ruin Cam’s future in the valley had her signing on to her Facebook page instead. Over the years, her fans had become her loyal friends, and since moving to Montana with Cam, she had discovered that several of them lived in the Bitterroot Valley. If Conacher went on a campaign to tarnish her son’s reputation, would those people rally behind her?
Maddie took several sips of tea as she considered what, if anything, she should post. Sasha, the fluffy black cat, came to perch on the arm of Maddie’s recliner and stared at the lighted screen as if she stood by to offer counsel. “So, my dear, I have to be careful here,” Maddie said. “I shouldn’t mention Conacher’s name. People will guess who I’m talking about. Bitterrooters know their valley by heart.” She gnawed her lip. “As long as I don’t give any particulars, he can’t sue me. Right?”
“Meow” was the cat’s reply.
“I’m glad you’re with me on that. So I’ll give no details and only the bare bones of what I believe that evil man may do.”
Maddie phrased her post to be a plea for help, heading it with WHAT SHOULD I DO? Her readers loved to be involved in her life and offer advice. When Maddie finished the brief draft, she read it carefully to be sure she’d included nothing over which Sam could file a lawsuit. Then she published the message, waited for a response, and refreshed the page every minute or so to load more replies. She was soon beaming a smile. Her Montana fans voiced concern, anger, and a willingness to do anything they could to help her. One male reader wrote, I
don’t know who this dude is, but he’d better understand the powerful reach of social media. He can’t ruin your son’s reputation in a lasting way, because we’ll network to tell the truth, and before long, most people in the valley will have heard it. He’d better think before he shoots off his mouth.
Maddie grinned. She had a cyberspace army behind her. Bring it on, Sam Conacher, she thought. I’m ready to nail you to a wall.
• • •
Sam came in from a hard day’s work feeling so exhausted that he stood under a hot shower to get some of the soreness out of his muscles. Once dressed in clean clothing, he wandered downstairs to the kitchen, keeping his gaze fixed on the floor as he walked because the stairwell walls sported dozens of family pictures. Annie holding Kirstin as a baby. Annie and him standing next to a stream, their faces creased in smiles. Kirstin at all different ages. Looking at those photos brought back memories that nearly broke his heart. He’d tried once to take them all down, but he hadn’t been able to erase Annie from his life.
“Evening, Mrs. Alvarez,” he said to his housekeeper and cook as he entered the huge kitchen.
“Good evening, senor.” A pretty woman with an attractive figure, she filled one end of the long plank table with his place setting, two serving bowls, and a small platter. Sam had tried to explain that he’d be just as happy with a filled plate and flatware, but she hadn’t understood him and had stacked every dish in the cupboard in front of him. “Senorita Conacher?”
Sam knew she was asking if Kirstin would be joining him for dinner. He had been told the woman’s first name, but he couldn’t remember it. She was a pleasant person and a hard worker, and she seemed to enjoy her job. Sam wondered if his inability to communicate well with her contributed to the fact that she’d been with him for more than a year. He couldn’t easily insult someone who understood only memorized English phrases. He guessed he should have thanked his lucky stars that he spoke no Spanish. He might have been left to clean the house himself and do all his own cooking. He had a talent for pissing off workers and making them quit. Trying to run his ranch with only Kirstin and Miguel to help him was already more than he could handle.
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