Sobs welled in her chest and pushed against her throat. When she released them, she muffled the sounds with the pillow, hoping no one came down the hallway and overheard her.
• • •
The following day Caleb went into the kitchen for breakfast and found Sam sitting at the table with a mug of coffee cupped in his hands. He smelled like fresh air and hay, which told Caleb that he’d already done morning chores. That normally put him in a good mood. Sam was one of the few people Caleb knew who truly loved working outdoors and caring for animals. But this morning he looked grim. Gram sat in the living room, staring at the Christmas tree. She held a coffee cup in her lap, but he could tell by the scent that she was drinking ginger tea again. That meant she was having another bad day.
Caleb darted a glance at Sam and then at his grandmother. Something was up. Now that they were friends, typically they liked to sit beside each other. He wondered if they were mad at each other for some reason.
Gabriella had pancake batter ready for the skillet, and Caleb could smell warm maple syrup. His mouth started to water. Just as he poured himself a glass of milk, Rickie burst into the house. Gabriella beckoned him to the kitchen, and the younger boy joined Caleb at the table to eat. They both filled up on crisp bacon, scrambled eggs, and hotcakes drizzled generously with heated syrup.
“Can Rickie ride with me this morning?” Caleb asked. “His school is right on my way.”
“Sí,” Gabriella replied. Then, wagging a finger at Caleb, she said, “No driving speed.”
It took Caleb a moment to understand what she meant. Then he grinned. “Ah, you mean no driving fast. I won’t, Gabriella. I promise.”
Minutes later Caleb stopped on Fox Hollow Road to gaze at their building. “The outside is totally finished now,” he observed, smiling at Rickie. “We could live in the workshop area, no worries. Want to go see if they’ve installed the big propane heater?”
“Do we have time?” Rickie asked. “I’ve never been inside. It’d be fun to see it.”
Caleb pulled off the road, left the engine running so the old truck would stay warm, and piled out of the cab to meet Rickie on the other side. “Last one there’s a monkey’s uncle!”
For Caleb it was a magical moment when he stepped inside. The overhead heater purred as it pushed warmth into the huge room. He wondered why it was running when no one else was in the building. He guessed that heat might have been necessary to dry out some of the construction material. “At this end we were going to set up a pretend house,” he told Rickie. “A living room, a kitchen, and bedrooms. Gram said Dad and I could build some room dividers to make the sleeping areas private.”
“Like camping indoors, only a lot nicer!” Rickie exclaimed.
Caleb suddenly remembered. “The plumber promised to make the downstairs guest bathroom kind of functional. Only a tub-shower combo with a flushing toilet, but it sounded fancy to us. Let’s go see if he did it!”
Moments later, Caleb flushed the toilet until the tank ran out of water. Rickie ran the tub faucet, flipping his fingers through the stream as if indoor plumbing were a new invention. “Could we maybe sleep over here some night?”
“Wouldn’t that be awesome?” Caleb could almost picture it. “You could invite a friend, and I could, too. My dad would probably come over and stay so none of the parents would freak out.”
“My dad, too,” Rickie cried. “Let’s ask if we can do it!”
Caleb tugged his phone from his coat pocket to check the time. “Shit, Rickie. We gotta go, or we’ll be late to school!”
Chapter Seventeen
That afternoon Caleb wished he could drive Rickie back to the ranch, but the younger boy got out of school earlier than he did and was probably already home. Nevertheless, Caleb stopped to explore the building again and found Murphy, the organizer, on-site to supervise the mud-and-tape process of the downstairs living unit. Now Caleb knew why the workshop heater was running. The walls wouldn’t dry properly without warmth.
“Hi, Caleb,” the big redhead said. “You guys ready to move in?”
Caleb explained that Sam Conacher had invited them to remain at his house until their own were finished. “I would like to have friends for a sleepover, though, if my dad will chaperone.”
Murphy led the way out to the utilitarian end of the structure. He flipped on the overhead lights, and Caleb gasped in surprise. “Oh, wow.”
“You have electrical outlets, too,” Murphy said, pointing at the white covers along both walls. “And heat. No reason I can see that you couldn’t spend the night.”
Caleb couldn’t wait to reach the ranch and tell his father. “Dad’s been waiting for this stage. Now we can build stuff. We do welding and woodworking projects together. Gram needs a new dining room table. She had to leave her big one at the house in California, because it’s too huge for this place. So we’re going to make her a new one that looks like a really awesome one we saw in a store.”
As he drove the rest of the way to the ranch, Caleb felt bubbles of excitement in his throat. He liked staying with Sam, but he was glad their own place was so close to being finished. They’d dreamed aloud about it so much—how it would all look and how nice it would be—that he was eager to actually live there. He parked out in front of the big house beside his dad’s pickup. Glad to see that his father wasn’t away working, he bounded up the front steps. At the end of each school day, Gabriella had started making snacks for him and Rickie, and Caleb also wanted to tell Gram hello if she wasn’t busy writing.
When he walked in, Gabriella called a greeting to him from the kitchen and then said, “Rickie do homework. Then he come. I make brown cakes.”
Caleb cut through the dining room to see what brown cakes were. “Oh, yum, brownies!” he exclaimed when he saw the blue glass baking dish. The chocolaty smell made his stomach growl. “I’ll wait for Rickie, though. Thank you, Gabriella. Those will be awesome with cold milk.”
Caleb figured Gram must have been writing, but he walked down the hall anyway, hoping to find her bedroom door open. He wanted to tell her about all the progress at their building site. Disappointment flooded through him when he saw that the door was closed. He’d learned long ago what that meant. Do not disturb. Gram claimed that interruptions jerked her out of the zone.
Caleb started to make a U-turn, but an odd sound from Gram’s bedroom made him freeze. What was that? It sounded like someone was crying and trying not to be heard. A cold feeling prickled his skin. He remembered the tension he’d felt between his grandmother and Sam that morning. Now he felt pretty sure he’d guessed right. They were angry with each other about something, and Gram was very upset about it.
Caleb hated it when Gram felt sad. Right after Gramps died, she’d been sad a lot. Now it was time for her to be happy again. Whatever they were pissed at each other about, it couldn’t be important enough to let Gram cry and feel unhappy for a whole day.
• • •
Sam had retreated to the shop to condition tack. He sat on a three-legged stool with his saddle draped over a post propped atop two sawhorses. Over the summer Sam never had time to care for his gear. Hands slick with saddle soap, he worked a sponge over the leather, taking his time to make sure he got every indentation and crevice. Normally this mindless task soothed him. He could push away his worries and try not to think. Only that wasn’t working for him today. Maddie occupied his thoughts. Anger burned low in his belly, and he couldn’t shake it off. He had trusted her, and he shouldn’t have. She had her own agenda, protecting her kids, and he hadn’t factored into her life. Not really. Maybe if she’d told him about the cancer, he would have fallen in love with her anyway. But at least then he would have moved into the relationship with his eyes wide-open. And he would have been aware of the risk he was taking.
The personnel door squeaked open. Sam stiffened, hoping it wasn’t Maddie. If he talked to her right n
ow, he might say things he’d later regret.
“Hi.”
Relaxing his shoulders, Sam glanced back at Caleb. He’d gotten the boy a handmade saddle for Christmas, a special order to fit his gelding, Latigo. Sam recalled how happy he’d been the day he’d met with the saddler over on the McLendon property to get the horse measured. He’d felt as if he were ordering a gift for his grandson. Now he knew that would never be the case, but he still hoped Caleb would enjoy the new gear.
“Hi,” he replied. “Have you ever been taught how to clean and condition a saddle?”
Caleb leaned against a workbench, crossed his ankles, and folded his arms. “My dad showed me. We do it together in the winter, but we don’t have the facilities this year.”
Sam gestured at the room around them. “Feel free to use mine.”
“Thanks.”
The boy bent his tawny head. Sam could tell he had something on his mind.
“I, um, just came from the big house,” he finally said. “I heard Gram crying through her bedroom door. I know something went wrong. I noticed how you guys were treating each other this morning. She’s either mad at you, or you’re mad at her, or maybe you’re both mad.”
Sam’s heart caught. He was angry with Maddie, but that didn’t mean he wanted her to cry. And he couldn’t discuss with Caleb what had gone wrong. Maddie had done everything possible to hide her disease from Cam and her grandson. If he said a wrong word, he’d spill the beans.
“Adult relationships can be difficult sometimes, Caleb. And they can also be very private. I’m not at liberty to tell you what went wrong between me and your grandmother.”
Caleb nodded. “I understand that. But Gram is really sad. Whatever happened, if you care about her as a friend, can’t you at least try to fix it?”
Sam saw no way to undo any of it. Maddie had made her choices and lied to him. He hadn’t been in the wrong, and he couldn’t fix the situation. Even worse, neither could she.
All he could say was “Let me think on it.”
Caleb sighed and pushed away from the bench. “You came out here to get away from all of us. Didn’t you?”
“I just needed some time alone,” Sam settled for saying.
“That isn’t right. It’s your house, not ours. We can go home now and live there until our houses are finished. We’ll even have heat. If you’d like us to leave, I can talk to my dad.”
Sam took a steadying breath. “Caleb, the situation is complicated. It’s almost Christmas. Kirstin and your dad are getting married that morning. Your grandmother and I have agreed that we don’t want to upset everyone, so we’ll just bide our time until your houses are finished. Then you can go home. That was the original plan.”
“How will that work now?” Caleb asked. “Kirstin and Dad will want to live with each other. But you need her here to help with the work.” The boy frowned. “It’s like nobody except me is thinking about stuff.”
A jolt of dread coursed through Sam. Caleb was right. A husband and wife should live together, and Sam hadn’t considered what that would eventually mean. The tension in him eased as suddenly as it had struck. “It’ll all work out great, Caleb. Your place is almost within throwing distance. Kirstin can live over there and still be here every day. It’s a perfect arrangement.” Sam truly meant that and realized just how much he’d changed. He no longer needed an iron hold on his daughter. Maddie had helped him get over his irrational possessiveness. “Just think how difficult it would be if your dad lived miles away. She’d be on the road morning and night to work here.”
“Our upstairs apartment isn’t that big. Kirstin’s used to the ranch manager’s house, which is huge.”
Sam nodded. “The three of you can make it work. Your dad mentioned building a bigger house later. Living in the smaller place will be temporary.”
“Just so you understand that we can’t live here and leave Gram on the land all alone. From the start Dad said we needed to live close to her. She’s getting old, and it may not be that long before we need to watch after her.”
Sam, aware of Maddie’s battle with cancer, hoped that time wouldn’t come sooner than Caleb expected. “Your father is right about that. Your grandmother enjoys her peace and quiet, but she should have loved ones nearby who can check on her and care for her if need be.”
“What about you? You’re getting old, too.”
Sam didn’t enjoy being reminded of his age. Caleb apparently thought he was ready for assisted living. He shook his head. “I won’t be alone. When Kirstin leaves the ranch, Miguel and Gabriella will probably live in the manager’s house. Even if they stay where they are now, they won’t be far away.”
The boy’s shoulders relaxed, and he smiled slightly. “I guess I’m not the only one who’s been thinking about it. And with Kirstin working on the ranch, she can check on you while she’s here.”
Being checked on wasn’t something Sam wanted. But he refrained from saying so. “Right. Like I said, it’s the perfect arrangement.”
• • •
When Caleb walked into Kirstin’s house a few minutes later, he heard a feminine shriek coming from one of the bedrooms. He ran from the foyer and crossed the living room, almost colliding with his dad as he entered the hallway.
“Kirstin?” his dad yelled. “Where are you? Are you hurt?”
Just then Caleb’s future mom came tearing out of a spare bedroom, wearing a long white dress. Sobs shook her shoulders. She made a fist on the belly part of the gown and held it out from her body. “It’s too big! I can’t wear this! What on earth am I going to do? Those idiots screwed it up!”
Caleb thought, Oh, shit.
His dad said, “It’ll be okay, honey. We’ll—well, we’ll just get it fixed somehow.”
A burning glare entered her tear-filled gaze. “Fixed. Fixed? There isn’t time! My wedding is ruined!”
His dad hugged Kirstin. “We can take it to a seamstress. Be thankful it’s too big. Taking a dress in should be simple. Adding to it would be a lot harder.”
Kirstin buried her face against his shoulder. Between muffled sobs, she cried, “What if it can’t be altered, Cam? It’s my dream dress. I can’t get married in something else.”
Caleb had come to know Kirstin really well, and he’d never seen her act this way. She fixed fences. She stood her ground against her dad and Miguel when she thought something was being done wrong. When horses blew up on her, she handled them with calm authority. Now, because a stupid dress didn’t fit her right, she was acting like the world had just ended.
He decided he should make himself scarce and let his dad settle her down. If he said something stupid like It’s only a dress, he had a feeling she might get really mad at him.
• • •
Another whole day passed, and Caleb found his grandmother standing at the dining room window with tears slipping down her cheeks. Her eyelids were red and puffy. She sniffed, and he wondered how long she had been crying. She was plugged up tighter than the toilet he’d once clogged with bathroom tissue as a little boy.
When he put his arm around her, she felt bony, and it scared him. How come he was the only one who noticed? He guessed his dad had other things on his mind, first and foremost getting Kirstin’s wedding gown fixed. Yesterday he’d driven her back and forth between the ranch and the seamstress’s place twice and probably had again today. Kirstin was in a total panic, because they were running out of time.
“Gram, don’t be sad,” he said. “It’s almost Christmas. Dad’s getting married, too. We’re supposed to be happy.”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” She wiped her cheeks with trembling fingers. “I’ll cheer up. You’re right. It is Christmas, and it should be a happy time.”
Caleb turned her toward the tree. “Look how beautiful that is.”
With a nod, she said, “It truly is.
I wish I’d gone to the storage units and gotten some of our decorations, though. Remember the little angel you made for me? And that picture of you glued onto a sparkly star made with plaster of Paris. I miss seeing that. It doesn’t seem quite like Christmas without our own special things on the tree.”
Caleb thought of the working heat and electricity back on their property. If Gram wanted to see all her own decorations, he could make it happen for her. He would make it happen. Something had gone wrong between her and Sam, and now she was unhappy during the most wonderful time of the year. Caleb knew he couldn’t take her home for Christmas because of the wedding plans, but maybe he could do the next best thing and give her a present that she’d never forget.
• • •
On the first day of Christmas break, Caleb got up early, threw on his clothes, and hurried downstairs. He found his dad standing in front of the coffeemaker as if he could make the appliance work faster if he stared at it. He looked really tired.
“Morning, Dad. Is Kirstin’s dress fixed yet?”
“I wish. By taking it in so much, the trim doesn’t meet up. It’s a catastrophe.”
“Trim? What’s that?”
His father grabbed the coffeepot and quickly sloshed coffee into a mug before the machine could leak all over the place. “There are lines in the skirt that are supposed to meet. When they took in the waist, the lines no longer meet, so the skirt has to be adjusted.”
Caleb yawned and covered his mouth. “Well, at least it can be fixed. Right?”
“I hope. She has her heart set on that one dress.”
Caleb nodded like he understood how important the alterations were, but to him, it was only a stupid dress. As long as it was white, what difference did the lines make? Maybe he’d never get married. His dad didn’t seem to be having very much fun.
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