by Clark, Lucy
He closed the distance between them, slipped his arms around her waist and dipped his head to press his lips to hers, all in one swift movement. Anything she might have said disappeared into thin air as all she could focus on was the fact that Richard was kissing her. For days she had craved this, often waking up at night longing for his touch.
Unable to remain strong when he held her like this, when he created such havoc with her senses, she sighed into the embrace, leaning into him, showing him that although she was trying to push him away, she really wanted him as close as possible.
‘Bergan,’ he eventually said, drawing back slightly, ‘you know me better than anyone else. I don’t usually talk about Chantelle—to anyone. Of course my parents and my sisters supported me at the time of her death but grief has its own schedule, taking its sweet time to unravel. And that’s exactly what I might have done had I not met you. I’d bottled my emotions up for so long, showing the world that I was coping just fine. I accepted the fellowship for two reasons. First, to force myself out of the life I’d boxed myself into. You know, home then hospital, home then hospital day after day after day.’
‘Monotonous and lonely,’ she stated, listening intently to every word he was saying and unable to stop her heart from being desperately affected by his words.
‘Exactly. Second, I knew that when I was travelling, meeting new people, having to give lectures as well as working in different A and E departments in different countries, I could continue to hide, continue to portray that I really was OK.’
‘But you weren’t?’
‘No, and I didn’t realise I wasn’t, not until I saw you at the Moon Lantern festival.’
‘Really?’
‘I looked across a crowd of thousands into your eyes and somehow felt as though I’d found my home.’ He smiled in bemusement and shook his head. ‘It sounds silly to say it out loud, but that’s the way it was. I couldn’t get you out of my mind, and then when I saw you at the hospital and found out you were not only my hospital contact but also my neighbour, I couldn’t believe it. It’s as though everything I’d been through in my life had been leading me towards meeting you, towards the time we’ve shared together, towards asking you to spend the rest of your life with me.’
Bergan started trembling again at his words. ‘Is…that the propos—?’
‘No. Again, you’ll know when I’m properly proposing, but I want you to know my intentions are honourable. Old-fashioned, yes, but it’s the truth. I love you, Bergan. Nothing will change that.’
She looked away as he said the words, unable to believe how vulnerable hearing them made her feel. Richard loved her. Could that be true? Richard wanted to marry her, to be with her for ever, to live the rest of his life with her. Was she really that worthy?
‘Anyway, my real intention for coming here tonight was so I could spend the rest of the time I have in Australia with you.’
Bergan nodded, not trusting her voice because she was so choked up with emotion. Never had anyone made her feel so honoured, so cherished, so loved. Was it really possible for her to have a normal, happy relationship? Mackenzie seemed to think so, and so did Richard. He’d been through so much himself, grieving for his wife, battling loneliness, and yet here he was, standing before her, confessing his feelings, desperate to spend time with her.
Her heart turned over with love, and even though her first inclination was to discount the emotion, telling herself she didn’t do love, she knew it was a lie. She couldn’t, however, admit that to Richard, not yet. The fact that he’d come here to confess his feelings was all that was holding her together, knowing that he thought she was worthy of his love. If he’d left, returning to Paris without a word, as she’d expected, given her behaviour over the past few days, then anything he’d confessed wouldn’t have had much impact.
He’d blown off his going-away dinner, leaving early even though he was the guest of honour, to come here and spend time with her. With her! He’d opened his heart, declared his intentions and was showing her exactly how he felt.
*
Until a few hours ago, she’d accepted her future existence: a life without Richard. Now, though, there were too many different possibilities that flooded through her mind, but in all of them she could picture him by her side, affirming her, encouraging her, believing in her.
With great reluctance he eased his hold on her and led her into the lounge, where they snuggled together, watching a movie and talking quietly as though this was an ordinary ‘date’ night rather than their last few hours together.
When it was time for him to leave, Richard held her tight in the circle of his arms before dipping his head and pressing slow, soft and sensual kisses to her mouth.
‘I don’t want you to go,’ she whispered in his ear, her voice breaking, as she hugged him close. And when he finally released her, holding her hand until it was necessary to finally let go, he smiled and winked at her.
‘That’s a very good beginning.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘YOU’RE JITTERY.’ DRAK sauntered over to where she was sitting at the desk in the drop-in centre.
‘Hmm? Pardon?’ Bergan looked up from where she’d been reading a document, the pen in her hand being tapped repeatedly on the desktop. Drak glanced pointedly at the pen and it was only then that Bergan seemed to realise she was moving it. ‘Sorry.’
‘Missing Richard?’
Bergan closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head. ‘Not you, too. I get enough hounding from Mackenzie, Sunainah and Reggie.’
‘Fine.’ Drak held up his hands in surrender. ‘I won’t mention him.’
‘I’d appreciate it.’ She’d half expected Drak to walk away, to go and do something else—at least, that’s what the old Drak would have done. This new Drak, the one who had changed into a responsible adult, pulled up a chair and sat down beside her.
‘Whatcha working on?’
‘Calendar of events for next year.’
‘Need some ideas?’
‘Sure. Fire away.’ Anything to take her mind off her next big adventure.
Drak came up with several great suggestions and some not so great. Some were far too silly and way out there to be considered, but they certainly made them both laugh.
‘It’s good to see you laughing. Haven’t seen much of it these past few weeks.’
‘No.’
‘A lot on your mind, eh?’
She levelled a glare at him. ‘Who’s been talking to you?’
‘Mackenzie. Sunainah. Reggie.’
‘They shouldn’t have. The last thing you need is to be burdened with my problems.’
‘It’s not a burden for true friends to be concerned about each other,’ he pointed out. ‘Besides, the three of them have been to visit Jammo in the rehab clinic, just like you. Jammo’s so amazed at how much people really care about her.’
‘She’s a special girl.’
‘You don’t need to tell me.’ Drak shook his head. ‘That night…I think I aged a lifetime.’
Bergan smiled. ‘Richard and I couldn’t believe the way we literally watched you become a man.’
Drak rolled his eyes. ‘Hey, don’t get all mushy on me, OK? And speaking of Richard—’
‘We weren’t,’ she interrupted, but he ignored her.
‘Aren’t you supposed to fly to Paris tomorrow?’
‘Yes.’
‘Are you going?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Why not?’
Bergan sighed then looked at him. ‘Because I’m scared.’ She spread her hands wide, not giving him the chance to say anything. ‘You know my story. You know how difficult it is for people like us to trust again.’
‘But you do trust Richard, don’t you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you love him?’
Bergan sighed again, thinking of the video calls she’d shared with Richard during the past fortnight, how her heart rate had pounded out such an erratic rhythm the
instant she’d seen his face on the screen and how her spirits had plummeted once it was all over.
She felt as though she was living from call to call and she could accept that, but to get on a plane to fly halfway around the world for a man? That was something she’d thought she’d never do. Yes, she trusted him. Yes, she loved him, at least she could admit that much now, but in getting on that plane tomorrow, wasn’t that a declaration that she was willing to give up her inner self? To share the rest of her life with Richard, knowing he would always be there for her? That she would be there for him? That together they could really start making a different in this world?
‘Do you love him?’ Drak repeated.
‘Yes.’ There was a hint of annoyance in her tone at being pushed.
‘Then what are you waiting for? Trusting and loving—those are the big things. Oh, and communicating. Jammo and I are working on that now. Making sure we talk to each other, tell each other when we’re freaked out and stuff.’
‘I’m really happy for you, Drak. I can’t believe how only a few weeks ago you didn’t want to carry that lantern.’
He laughed at the memory as he rubbed his fingers over a coffee stain on the wall next to him. ‘How did you put up with me?’
She laughed back, teasing him. ‘I have no idea!’
The smile slowly slid from Drak’s face. ‘You’ll regret it if you don’t go.’
‘Yeah. I know. It’s just…when I’m with Richard, everything is…magnified. I don’t know how or why but it just is. Emotions are more powerful, time more precious, happiness more than I could ever imagine.’
‘But?’ he prompted.
‘But what if I lose myself?’
Drak laughed, then quickly sobered. ‘Oh, you’re not joking. Bergan, I don’t think you could ever lose the true person inside you. You’re too strong for that.’ He pointed to a coffee stain on the wall, one that had been there for as long as Bergan could remember. ‘I’ve looked at this stain so many times over the years. I don’t know who spilt their coffee one day but so many times, when I’ve just zoned out from what’s been going on around me, I’d imagine being able to pick up a pen and turn this stain into a beautiful drawing.’
Bergan handed him a pen. ‘Show me.’
Drak stared at her for a moment as though she’d lost her marbles, then took the pen from her. Within a matter of a few strokes his natural creativity had managed to change what had been splatters and splotches into two people riding on horses, side by side, off into the sunset. ‘Perspective, Bergan. You taught me that. It’s how you look at things and what you do with that knowledge that counts.’
Bergan stared at the beautiful drawing on the wall and was surprised when tears pricked her eyes. How could she not have realised how simple it all was? Yes, she considered she had a large stain on her life, but if she added Richard’s love to that stain, she could change it into something beautiful.
‘I’m going to Paris.’ She whispered the words, as though testing them out. She breathed in a deep, cleansing breath. ‘I’m going to Paris.’ She met Drak’s gaze. He just rolled his eyes, but she could see he was trying hard not to smile, still needing to protect his ‘tough guy’ image. A grin touched her lips and she sat up a little straighter in her chair, thinking of seeing Richard face-to-face, being held in his arms, daring to make something new from the stain that was already on her life. The next time she spoke, her voice was filled with wonder, with excitement, with anticipated happiness. ‘Je vais à Paris.’
Drak nodded and stood up. ‘Whatever. Just bring me back a croissant.’
*
Richard stood at airport arrivals, waiting impatiently. He tried not to pace up and down but wasn’t all that successful. He tried sitting. He tried leaning. He tried having a coffee but ended up forgetting about it, letting it go cold. He’d arrived much earlier than necessary, just in case her flight time had changed.
He’d received a text message from Reggie saying she’d taken Bergan to the airport. ‘She’s eager to see you.’ That’s what the message had said, and since then, during the long twenty-two hours it took to fly from Brisbane to Paris, he’d been a wreck. Bergan was coming to him. A part of him had thought she might back out, but she hadn’t. It only highlighted her inner strength, a strength he loved.
Richard checked the arrivals screen again and saw with great relief and delight that her flight had just landed. She was here. She was physically on the same side of the world as him, in the same country, in the same city, in the same airport. The time it took for her to disembark, pick up her luggage and go through immigration seemed to take an eternity but finally—finally—she was here.
He hadn’t been quite sure what sort of reception he’d receive but what he had not mentally pictured was Bergan opening her arms wide and all but launching herself at him. With a happiness he hadn’t thought he could feel, Richard caught her, instantly pressing his mouth to hers in a long-overdue kiss. He couldn’t think right now, couldn’t worry whether or not he was rushing her, because she was here. His Bergan was finally in his arms, her lips pressed against his.
‘I’ve missed you,’ she whispered the instant her lips left his.
‘Really?’ Richard eased her back a little, one arm still firmly around her waist, holding her in a fashion that was clearly possessive.
‘Of course. Haven’t you missed me, too?’
He swallowed at her words. ‘More than you could possibly know.’
Bergan smiled and relaxed. She had two weeks’ holiday booked and as it had been quite a while since she’d been to Paris, she was determined to enjoy herself, especially with Richard by her side.
As they headed for the taxi rank, Richard continued to have at least one arm about her, brushing small kisses to her cheeks and neck and lips. Bergan looked into his face and couldn’t believe the love that seemed to flow freely from her heart. How…why had she ever tried to deny just how important this man was to her?
‘How far is your apartment?’ she asked.
‘Twenty minutes. Not too bad.’
‘Are your parents still here?’
He shook his head. ‘They’re staying at a hotel tonight and catching a very early train tomorrow morning. They’re heading to Wales to see some family friends.’
‘Oh. I’m sorry to have missed them.’ Bergan smiled to herself as he hailed the taxi, wondering if Helen and Thomas hadn’t been evicted from Richard’s apartment simply because she was coming.
Richard hailed a taxi and after stowing her luggage in the boot sat with her in the back, his arms firmly around her. He kissed her slowly, carefully, not wanting anything to upset her but at the same time unable to keep his hands or lips off her.
‘Don’t you have any idea just how addictive you are?’
‘Especially after so many weeks apart,’ she murmured, equally interested in having his mouth firmly on hers. They were like a couple of teenagers, but neither of them cared, and when they finally arrived at his apartment, Richard insisting on carrying her suitcase up the two flights of stairs, Bergan entered the dark hallway and wandered through into the main living area, gasping in delight at the sight that greeted her.
Tealight candles seemed to be everywhere, their flames flickering perfectly, illuminating the area with a rosy glow.
‘Richard?’ She reached behind her for his hand but all he did was relieve her of her carry-on luggage. As she continued to look, noticing the mix of red and white rose petals scattered carefully around the furniture, she couldn’t help but laugh in astonishment at the tealights on the table, arranged in a heart shape. ‘How did you do all this?’
The scents of the candles mixed with the rose petals made a heady combination, and Bergan simply couldn’t have removed the large smile from her face, even if someone had asked. She clutched her hands to her chest as she walked slowly and carefully around the place. It had to have been his mother who had set all this up. It was typical of Helen to want to help out, but how had Richard kn
own? Was this as much of a surprise to him as it was to her?
‘Richard?’ she called again, and this time when she turned to look for him it was to find him holding out a perfect blue rose to her. ‘Oh, my!’ It wasn’t until she reached out to take it from him that she realised her hands were trembling.
‘H-how did you know?’
‘Reggie. She was very forthcoming about the blue-rose theory, and I have to say you are unique and more beautiful than any flower, my Bergan.’
‘Oh.’ She swallowed over the lump that had formed in her throat at his heartfelt words. The instant she took the flower he pulled a small box from his pocket and went down on one knee, holding out his free hand to her.
‘Bergan?’
The trembling was getting worse now, spreading from her fingers right through her entire body as she stepped forward and placed her hand in his.
‘I told you that when I proposed, you’d know about it.’
‘True. Very true.’ She looked from him to the beautiful room then back again, gazing down at the man of her dreams, the one man, the most perfect man for her.
‘Bergan.’
‘Yes, Richard.’
‘Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?’
She bit her lip, her heart pounding so wildly against her ribs it was a wonder she could actually hear him speak. She swallowed once, twice, then smiled at him and nodded. ‘Yes. A most definite yes.’
‘Whew!’ He chuckled then leaned forward and pressed a smooth kiss to her hand before opening the box. Inside, nestled on a soft blue velvet cushion, was a perfect pink diamond. ‘You can choose the setting and the style of the ring. We’ll have it made up.’
‘Really?’ He was letting her take control.
‘Really.’ He slowly rose to his feet, watching as she took the box from him, studying the perfectly cut stone.
‘Richard. It’s…’ The enormity of the situation overcame her and to her utter surprise tears gathered behind her eyes. ‘It’s…perfect.’ When she looked up at him, it was to find him staring down at her with the same sort of wonderment.