by Tessa Teevan
“Dude, I have no idea what any of this means other than the fact that it’s addressed to you.”
Right. “Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. It’s my MCAT scores.”
He looks at me like I’m speaking a foreign language. “And? Did you pass?”
With a chuckle, I nod. “It’s not exactly pass or fail, but let’s just say I scored more than high enough to get into the program at UT—and on my first try!”
Knox places an arm on my shoulder and gives me a look. “I’m proud of you, kid. It sucks you had to put it off because of what happened, but I’m so damn proud of you.”
I shrug him off. “Hey, it’s not like you asked to be blown up. Plus, it gave me extra time to study, and since I knew I was going to be late applying to medical school, I took a few extra months to prepare. Taking summer classes helped, too, and this next semester is going to be a piece of cake. If I don’t get into med school right away, I’ll live. That’ll just free up my time for ladies,” I tell him, wagging my eyebrows up at him.
His shoulders shake with laughter. “Even from thousands of miles away, I created a monster. Come on. Everyone’s been waiting on you.”
I follow him down the hallway into the kitchen, where Mom and Charlie are putting the finishing touches on Christmas dinner. After placing kisses on both of their cheeks, I apologize for being late, and Knox doesn’t hesitate to mention that it was because of a girl.
“Oh, Cohen, are you seeing someone? Who is she? Did you meet her at school? Why didn’t you bring her with you?” Mom fires off each question in rapid succession before I can answer her. Ever since Knox and Charlie got to together, she’s been bugging me about relationships no matter how many times I tell her that it’s not going to happen.
I give Knox a glare and flip him off behind her back.
Charlie just snickers and rolls her eyes at us. “Knox, start putting food on the table and leave your brother alone,” she scolds him playfully, only to yelp when he pinches her ass and before doing as she requested.
Mom’s looking at me expectantly, and I let out a sigh. “No, Mom, I’m not seeing anyone. How many times do I have to tell you I don’t have time for relationships? And once I start med school, I’m going to have even less time for one. I’m just having fun. That’s all.”
She gives me a disappointed look and sighs. “When the right girl comes along, you’ll make time. You just make sure you’re not too busy to realize when she’s right in front of you.”
It’s not going to happen, but I don’t tell her that. I haven’t dated at all during college and I don’t plan on starting now. Sure, I’ve had casual relationships here and there, but there was always an understanding. It’s actually been fairly easy to find girls who don’t want a relationship, especially those on the pre-med track. They don’t want to be tied down any more than I do, and it’s worked out perfectly.
“Cohen, if I had told you eight months ago that Knox and I were going to end up together, what would you have said?” Charlie asks.
“Are you kidding? Eight months ago, I wasn’t sure one of you would’ve been able to deal with Knox for one summer, let alone end up dating him. When I left to go back to school, I was worried that, even though Knox made it back to the States in one piece, you’d end up killing him. You weren’t exactly on the best of terms when I left.”
She gives me a sweet smile, and I groan. Having had Megan as a sister-in-law for nearly ten years, I got used to being ignored. I can tell with Charlie that our relationship isn’t going to be like that. It’s like I’ve gained a sister I never had or wanted.
“Exactly, Cohen. Love happens in the most unexpected places at the most unexpected times. Even if you’re not ready. I’m not saying you’re going to meet the girl of your dreams next week or even next year. I’m just saying that if you do, don’t automatically write it off because you don’t think it’s the right time. Don’t let what could be the best thing in your life slip through your fingers because you’re a stubborn ass.” Knox enters the room and crosses to Charlie, who puts her arm around his waist. “Trust me. When I met your brother, the last thing I was looking for was a relationship. I would’ve told you that the timing was off and we’d have never worked out. Now, I can’t imagine my life without him.”
“Aww, Charlie, that was so sweet,” Mom gushes, wiping a tear from her eye. She’s been extra emotional since Knox came back into the family fold, and she has adopted Charlie like her own daughter. As happy as I am for my brother, just because he’s finally settling down doesn’t mean I’m anywhere near ready for that.
“Well, Charlie, if you two are any indication, then I still have seven years or so until it’s my time. Until then, I’ll continue to play doctor,” I tease, causing Knox to choke on a carrot and Mom to look at me with a confused expression.
Charlie coughs and then peers at me. “Cohen, your hair’s a little darker,” she comments, and I bring a hand up to feel my hair.
With a shrug, I respond. “One of the girls I was tutoring is a cosmetologist. She said I’d look hot with dark hair, so I figured why not?” I tell her, and she grins at me. It’s true. It’s taken some getting used to, but the dark hair actually works in my favor. It makes me look older and more like my brothers. Secretly, I love it.
Before I can say anything else, Dad takes that exact moment to enter the kitchen to figure out what the holdup is, and he nods a greeting when he sees me. We all gather up the rest of the food and move to the dining room, and I see Branson at the liquor cabinet, pouring himself three fingers of Scotch.
“Hey, Bran. Pour me one, will ya?” I ask, and he looks up at me.
My usually cool, collected, always-put-together brother has dark circles under his eyes and is in dire need of a haircut. It doesn’t look like he’s shaved in at least five days. Even his attire surprises me. His normal uniform of the day is an Armani suit, and it isn’t until after dinner that he even removes his jacket. Right now, he’s dressed in track pants, a UT Volunteers sweatshirt, and socks. To put it simply, he looks like shit.
“Hey, Coh. Yeah, sure,” he says, pulling out another glass and pouring me a drink.
I glance at Knox, and he just shakes his head. I figure we can talk about it later.
Everyone settles around the table, and I have to admit that it’s a really weird feeling. A good feeling, but a weird one. At the same time, as nice as it is to have Knox finally back home in Belle Meade, Branson’s whole demeanor is putting a damper on the mood. He’s silent all throughout dinner, opening his mouth only to eat or when someone talks to him directly. Other than that, he sits back, sips his scotch, and stares off into the distance.
When Knox volunteers to get dessert from the kitchen, I excuse myself to use the restroom and follow after him. His head’s stuck in the refrigerator before he pulls out a cheesecake and sets it on the table.
“Dude, what the hell?” I ask, and he stops to look at me. “I know you haven’t been around Branson much, but Jesus Christ. I’ve never seen him like that. Ever.”
Knox presses his palms against the counter, gripping tightly. “I don’t know, man. He’s been like that since we got here. Mom says that, until this week, things with the divorce have been going fine, but then he took this entire week off from work. No one had heard from him until he showed up here late last night, drunk off his ass, mumbling about always fucking everything up. I don’t know if it’s better or worse that I’m here. We’ve been talking over the past few weeks, and while we’re not best buds, I don’t want to rip his head off whenever I see him now. Any amount of anger I felt towards him is long gone. Now I just feel sorry for him.”
I let out a deep breath, shaking my head at how differently my brothers’ lives turned out. It seems Branson did Knox a huge favor when he started screwing Megan behind his back, and unfortunately, the consequences have finally caught up with him. Karma or not, he’s my brother and I hate to see him this way.
“Coh, it’ll all work out. I’m sure once the
divorce is over and he sees that I don’t hold a grudge, things will look up for him. I don’t think he’s as much of an asshole as he pretends to be. I just don’t think he knows that yet. Try and talk to him after dinner, okay? I tried earlier and he didn’t really say much.”
Nodding, I follow him back into the dining room, where it’s more of the same until we move to the great room, where Mom and Charlie hand out presents. Once all of that hoopla is over, I take Knox’s advice, refill Branson’s glass—and my own—and settle on the couch next to him.
“Thanks, kid. Haven’t seen you in a while. How’s school going?” he asks, his voice just a little slurred, and I’m thankful that Mom let me know that he was staying here tonight. He’s already clearly in no position to drive.
I give him a quick recap of the semester that just ended, and he actually looks proud when I tell him about my MCAT scores.
“That’s awesome, Cohen. I know Dad gave you a hard time about medical school, but you were the smart one. You knew exactly what you wanted and you went for it no matter what anyone else said. When I was your age, I wish I’d had half the courage that you do. Too bad I was just a fucking pussy, which led to me making wrong decision after wrong decision…” he trails off before taking a long swig of his drink.
I know I probably shouldn’t push the issue, but this is the most open he’s ever been with me. It’s true what they say—liquor talks.
“What are you talking about, Branson? I thought you always wanted to take over Wellington Enterprises.”
He heaves a heavy sigh and leans closer to me. “It’s not that. I love my career. I wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s the rest of my life that I’d change. Those two,” he says, pointing to where Knox and Charlie and curled up by the fire. “Those two are fucking lucky. You meet a girl who makes you feel like your world’s going to explode without her in it, you fucking hold on to her. You fucking clutch her as tight as you can. Don't you dare let her slip through your fingers or else you’ll end up a washed-up thirty-two-year-old who tore apart his family for pussy that didn’t even matter. That’s the worst fucking part. What I did to Knox. Mom. Dad. Hell, even you. All for what? Pussy that didn’t even fucking matter.”
Without another word, he gets up from the couch and heads to the dining room to continue to drink his sorrows away. He’s had a healthy amount, and after that revelation, I feel like I could use some more, too.
I don’t think I have to worry about his warning though. There’s only been one girl who’s ever made me feel anything more than lust, and she’s been long, long gone. I don’t want to think about her right now, but unfortunately, the damage is done and Branson’s words echo through my mind. Closing my eyes, I try to picture her ruby-colored hair, her sea-green eyes, the adorable smile that I swear makes her freckles stand out. It’s a face I haven’t seen in years, yet I just can’t seem to forget. The fact that, after freshman year, it seemed like she fell off the face of the Earth has bothered the hell out of me, and I think it’s made my…curiosity—yeah, that’s it—for her grow with each year that passes.
The thing is, it’s only on nights like these, when I’m alone and the liquor is flowing through me, that I even allow myself to think about her. Andi. Andi… I laugh to myself. I can’t believe that some part of my heart is still hung up on a girl whose last name I don’t even know. The one thing I do know is that no amount of screwing, no amount of messing around, no other woman has ever been able to completely push her out of my mind, and if I can admit it, part of me hates her for doing this to me. And the other part hates myself.
BANGING ON the bathroom door, I feel both annoyance and exasperation that he’s taking so long. “Hurry up! If we aren’t out the door in ten minutes, I’m going to be late, and I cannot miss this appointment!” I yell, hoping he hears me over the shower.
I hear a muffled response, and when the water turns off, I sigh in relief and head towards the kitchen, where I pour myself a cup of coffee. As I inhale the mouthwatering aroma of hazelnut, I tell myself to relax, that the meeting this morning is going to be just fine.
After taking a seat at the stool, I watch the morning news and sip on my coffee, anxiously tapping my foot, becoming increasingly impatient as the minutes tick away. Matt Lauer’s going on about the coverage for the upcoming Olympics, but I honestly couldn’t care less. I’m too stressed about the new—and what should hopefully be my last—semester starting.
“Hey, babe. You ready to go?”
I swivel in my stool and give him a scowl. “Theodore Alexander Bennett, I could kick your ass. I’ve been ready for over half an hour. You know my car’s in the shop and I need you to drop me off on campus before you go to work. I swear, even after three and a half years, you still live to drive me insane.”
Teddy rounds the counter and wraps his arms around me, giving me a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “Yeah. But admit it. You still love me anyway.”
Laughing, I turn and pat his cheek affectionately. “It’s true. Heaven only knows why, but it’s true, Teddy Bear.”
He steps back from me and lets out a groan. “Seriously? If I can’t call you Candy Cane then you can’t me Teddy Bear. I have no idea how many times we’ve gone over this. At least yours is a delicious treat I can suck on for hours until it melts in my mouth. Mine is a stuffed animal that dogs like to hump. So please, for the love of God, no more Teddy Bear, especially when we’re out in public. It makes me look soft.”
Grinning up at him, I poke him in the stomach. “Oh, well, excuse me, Teddy. Heaven forbid anyone get the idea that you’re soft. What would the ladies think then?”
Reese chooses that moment to walk into the kitchen, giving us both a dirty look. “God, you two are so freaking annoying. I can barely function before noon and you’re already all dressed up like some power couple ready to take on the day. I have no idea why I put up living with you two. It’s bad enough that Cy has to get up at the ass crack of dawn for his grad school classes, but then the two of you are all energetic morning people. I hate it. You suck.” She leans across the counter and grabs my cup, downing it in just a few gulps.
Teddy and I stare at her, used to this rant. In Reese’s defense, she’s been bartending at night in order to save up money while she finishes school. If I were coming home at three a.m. and had to be up for classes by nine, I’d be pretty damn grumpy, too.
Pouring a new cup, I hand it over to her. “Okay, grumpy. We’re getting out of your hair. I probably won’t see you before you leave for work, but you can pretty much guarantee I’ll be in there for a drink tonight. It’s going to a long day.”
We leave Reese in peace, and even though I gave her coffee, I really hope she gets some more rest. Lately, she’s been picking up extra shifts at the bar, and between that and her classes, I’m afraid she’s taking on too much.
Teddy and I make small talk on the way to campus, and I’m grateful his accounting firm is only a few miles away. He drops me off in front of the academic advising building, and as I move to get out of his truck, he catches my hand. When I turn back to him, I see him giving me a warm smile.
“Andi, you can do this. It’s one more semester. It’s one class. You’ve worked so hard to get to this point, and I know you’re going to be amazing when you leave this place. You just have one more hurdle to cross, and I have complete faith that you can do it.” He gives my hand a squeeze, and I cross the cab of the truck to place a soft kiss on his cheek.
“Thanks, Teddy. That means a lot. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” He gives me a warm smile, and I scoot out of the truck before turning back to him. “It’s just a few more months, right? Like you said, I can do it. Have a great day a work, and I’ll call you when I’m ready for a ride home.”
After shutting the door, I turn back towards the building and take a deep breath. All I have to do is make it through the next four months, and then it’s graduation day. Setting my shoulders, I head inside the building, hoping this meeting doesn’t
end in a catastrophe.
“ALL RIGHT, Ms. Kane. It looks like we’re all set. I have you scheduled for CHEM 110 – general chemistry, which will also include a lab. Because you waited until the very last second to take your natural sciences course, I’d strongly advise you to get set up in the tutor center.”
I grimace, knowing that going there is the last thing I want to do as a senior in college, but at this point, I’ll do whatever I have to do to graduate. “Okay…” I tell her, apprehension lacing my voice.
Ms. Elliott gives me a sympathetic smile. “Ms. Kane, it’s just a precautionary measure. In fact, you’re in luck. The student who is on track to graduate highest in his class has actually agreed to tutor select chemistry students this semester. Throughout the rest of your academic career, you’ve gotten stellar grades. You squeaked by with Cs in your required math courses, and I don’t want to see you struggle when it comes to chemistry. So take my advice. Let me set you up with this tutor. Usually the center randomizes their student/tutor pairings, but I can pull a few strings. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, he will ensure that you pass, which ultimately will lead you to graduating. How does that sound?”
I want to tell her that tutoring sounds awful and I feel like I’m in the fifth grade again. However, it’s my own fault for putting off this required course until now, so I lift my chin and give her a smile. “That sounds perfect, Ms. Elliott, and I sincerely appreciate you working with me on this. I promise I won’t disappoint you.”
We both rise and shake hands. “Trust me, Ms. Kane. It won’t be me you’d be disappointing, but yourself. According to your academic record, you’re an extremely bright girl. You’re just not scientific minded. Don’t tell my boss, but I think it’s absolutely insane that a journalism major needs to understand chemical functions, but I’m not paid to plan or question the curriculum. Take advantage of the tutor. I promise you won’t regret it.”