by Tessa Teevan
“The thing is, I’m happy for you. It’s an amazing opportunity, and I know you’re going to excel at it. I just wish you’d trusted me enough to tell me. At least as much as you trust him.”
I throw my hands up in exasperation. “Jesus Christ, Cohen! When are you going to get it through your thick skull that he’s nothing more than a friend to me?! How many times do I have to spell it out? You’re who I want. You’re it for me. This whole Teddy complex you have needs to be dropped, because he’s one of my best friends and that’s not going to change. You’re going to have to get over it.”
He doesn’t say a word. He just sets his chin and looks at me.
“And as for the internship, I was planning on turning it down.” I walk past him into the living room and grab my purse before thrusting a piece of paper in his hands. It’s my offer letter from the Memphis magazine, and I’ve been waiting for weeks to show it to him. “That whole surprise tomorrow night? Well, here you go. Surprise! I’m taking a job in Memphis, you asshole, so I can keep ‘playing house’ with you, as you so eloquently put it.”
Without even looking at it, he tosses the letter off to the side. “No, you’re not.”
My heart skips a beat, and I wonder if he’s changed his mind about having me there. Oh God. Hot tears well up in my eyes until my vision is blurry. Cohen steps towards me, but I put my hand out, causing him to stop.
“I can’t let you do that, Ruby,” he says, his voice softening. “This isn’t an opportunity you can pass up.”
“It’s not an opportunity I wanted in the first place!” I yell at him, wondering how to get through to him. “I didn’t even apply for it. Dad did it for me.”
He sighs heavily. “It doesn’t matter. This is bigger than anything Memphis has to offer you. You have to take it.”
Anger rushes through me and breaks past my sadness. I walk towards him, poking him in the chest until he’s backed up against the wall. “You don’t get to decide my future, Cohen Wellington, any more than my dad does.”
He grabs my wrists and looks down at me with sad eyes. “And you’re not deciding yours because of me or where I’m going to be. I’ll love you wherever you are, Ruby, but I can’t let you give this up.”
I’m ready to pull my hair out, but I see the resolve in his eyes. I know he’s not hearing me. “How can I give up something I never wanted in the first place?” I whisper as tears begin to fall down my cheeks.
“How do you know you don’t want it unless you go for it?” He swallows hard and looks up at the ceiling. “I think we need some space, Andi. You haven’t had time to think this through, and I don’t want to cloud your judgment.”
Stepping back, I’m caught off guard by his suggestion. “Cohen, please don’t do this,” I cry, my shoulders beginning to shake due to my sobs.
Confliction fills his eyes, and I can tell that he’s fighting the urge to hold me but to also keep me at arm’s length. His hand comes up to caress my cheek, and he captures a few tears on his fingertips.
“Just a few days so you can decide what you want with a clear head.”
I want to throw myself at him and pummel him with my fists until he gets it through his damn head that all I want is him, but I know it’ll be no use. Instead, I pull away from him, grab my purse, and walk towards the door, my heart breaking with each step that takes me farther away from him.
Just as I turn the knob, I turn back to him, meeting his gaze. “I know what I want, Cohen. You just need to trust that I do. This is the second time you’ve told me you need time or space. I’m not going to be the one to come crawling back this time to make everything better with a hot fuck against the wall.”
He winces and then nods in my direction. “I wouldn’t expect you to.”
Whatever pieces of my heart that were still intact have now shattered into a tiny million shards, and I have no idea if I’ll ever be able to put them back together again. “Just so we’re clear. I told you I was moving to Memphis and you’re pushing me away.”
He doesn’t respond. Hell, he doesn’t even look at me as his shoulders droop.
I let out a small laugh. “I meant it when I said I never wanted New York. I’d be passing out mail and getting coffee for at least the next two years. In Memphis, I already have a line on a column scouting out local bands. You know, something I’ve always wanted to do. But I’m so glad you think you know what’s best for me. I thought you knew me. Understood me. But now I’m wondering if you ever really knew me at all.”
With that parting shot, I walk out the door, wondering if I’ll ever be able to walk back in again.
AFTER ANDI left, I spent the night trying to convince myself that I was doing the right thing, but the more I replay our conversation, the more I’m beginning to realize I’m an idiot. She was right. Who am I to tell her what she wants to do? It’s just… There’s a small worry in the back of my mind that I haven’t given her a chance to think things through. It’s going to kill me, but a little bit of space might help her clear her head.
For the first time in over five months, I go to bed by myself, and even though I downed a healthy amount of Jack Daniel’s, it’s no use. I toss and turn, unable to escape Andi’s scent. My arms curl around her pillow, feeling empty from not having her in my arms, and eventually, exhaustion takes over and I drift off to sleep.
My alarms blares the next morning, and I squint at the clock and realize that, instead of morning, it’s already two in the afternoon. Jumping up, I rush towards the bathroom, knowing that, if I don’t leave soon, I’m going to be late. After getting ready in record time, I grab my phone and see that there’s a missing text. My heart flips when I see it’s from Andi.
Andi: Migraine from hell. Please tell Charlie I’m sorry I couldn’t make it and I’ll see her soon.
I want to rush over to her apartment, to take care of her, to make sure she’s okay, but I’m pretty sure that ‘migraine’ is her code name for that asshole named Cohen. Regardless, I text her back, asking if she’s okay. A few minutes go by until I realize that she’s not going to answer me. I deserve that.
With a heavy sigh, I lock the apartment and head to Belle Meade alone for the first time in months. The car is way too silent, and I flip on the stereo as I try to drown out my thoughts. Naturally, Savage Garden is playing on the radio, and rather than changing it, I crank up the volume, knowing that no amount of noise is going to erase my thoughts. It’s been all of a day and I already miss the hell out of her. I’m already too used to having her in my life that even just one night apart is too much. The farther I drive away from Knoxville, the more aware I become that I’ve royally screwed this up. I should’ve discussed the future with her. I shouldn’t have assumed she trusted Teddy more than me. I should never have let her walk out of my apartment until we cleared everything up. I have half a mind to turn the car around, to show up at her door and tell her I’m an idiot. Because this drive to Belle Meade without her next to me feels wrong. Hell, it is wrong. Instead, I grip the steering wheel harder, and head towards home, determined to give her one more night to think things over. Tomorrow, though, it’s game on. Tomorrow, I’m getting my girl back.
The party’s in full swing by the time I show up, and I throw a fake smile on my face, steal a beer from passing waiter, and head into the backyard, where I see Knox, Charlie, and a few of their friends.
Knox pulls me into a headlock, giving me a hard time for being late. He teases me about Andi, informing the guys that I’m dating someone. He’s apparently oblivious to the fact that she’s not with me. A strange look passes between Jace, Knox, and Kale, and before I know it, Kale’s pointing to a very pregnant Lucy, a moderately pregnant Lexi, and then the ring on Charlie’s finger.
“Looks like you’re next, buddy,” he says, and my heart falls. If only they knew I’d already screwed things up.
Charlie cracks up and ruffles my hair. “Oh, Cohen. This is going to be fun.”
“Yeah, right,” I mumble.
Ch
arlie’s smile falters and she looks at me closely, finally noticing I’m alone. I think she’s about to ask where Andi is when Mom interrupts us in order to introduce Charlie to another family friend. Thankfully, I make my escape and spend the rest of the party at the bar, knocking back brew after brew, suddenly understanding Branson’s whole remembering problem. Tonight, remembering is the last thing I want to do.
I think I’m going to escape all the scrutiny when Kale’s girlfriend, Lucy, goes into labor. With all the excitement, I make my way into the kitchen, where I loosen my tie and pour myself something a bit stronger than beer.
Branson walks in, and I can’t help but laugh at the wet spot on his suit. “Dude, who knew you were so good with pregnant women?”
He smiles, and for the first time in a long damn time, it looks genuine. “I guess I haven’t quite lost my touch. How about you, kid? Where’s the sexy redhead?”
I down the rest of my drink at his question and go to pour another, but he snatches the bottle up. Sighing, I hunch over in my stool.
“I fucked up,” I say simply.
“Beyond repair?” he asks, and I shake my head no.
“I don’t think so. But I think she’s pretty damn pissed at me.”
“You love her?”
“More than anything in the world. Fuck, she is my world.”
“Then why the fuck are you here with me? What’d I tell you at Christmas, Cohen? You meet a girl like that, you don’t ever let her go.” I look at him in surprise, and he chuckles. “Hey, even wasted off my ass, I can still give some pretty good advice. Sleep it off. Then wake up tomorrow, nurse your hangover, and go get your woman. You with me?”
“I’m with you. Thanks, Bran. For someone so stupid in love, you’re pretty smart.”
He laughs and just shakes his head. Just as he’s about to leave the kitchen, he turns back towards me. “I’m working on it little by little. You’re gonna be all right.” He pauses then gives me an indiscernible look. “I know I don’t say it often, but I love you, kid.”
His words cause me to choke up, and I blame it on the alcohol. “I love you, too, Bran. And hey, I’m always here to talk. You know, if you ever need to talk.”
He gives me a small smile. “I know, Coh. Appreciate it.”
With that, he leaves me, and I get up to grab a bottle of water, knowing that I need to preempt my hangover.
When I head back outside, the excitement has died down, the ambulance is gone, and the band has resumed playing. Charlie’s begging Knox to sing just one song before they leave for the hospital, and he’s shaking his head vehemently. She gets up on her tiptoes and whispers something in his ear, and the next thing I know, he’s marching towards the stage and giving Chris instructions on what to start playing.
As I look back and forth between Chris and Charlie, an idea—okay, not exactly an original one—pops into my mind, and I know just how I’m going to make things right.
IT’S BEEN two days since I left Cohen’s apartment and two days since I’ve left the couch.
Teddy and Sophie walk into the room, and he groans when looks at the television. “Rent again, Andi? Now I’m going to get depressed,” he jokes.
I just glare at him as he stands in front of the screen. “Move. I’m still pissed at you. Now leave me alone. It’s almost time for the I’ll Cover You Reprise, and you know that’s my favorite part.”
Teddy walks towards me and grabs the remote, pausing the movie. He sits down next to me and pulls me into his arms. I’m too tired to fight him.
“No, it’s just the part that makes you cry the most and you think it’ll mask the real reason why you’re crying. And you can be mad at me all you want. I was just looking out for you.”
Sitting up, I shove away from him, and he looks at me, shocked. “Why is it that all the men in my life think I’m incapable of making my own decisions?! Newsflash: Yes, I am a woman, but just because I have a vagina doesn’t mean I’m a freaking airhead. I told Dad I didn’t want to go to New York. I told you I didn’t want to go to New York. I told Cohen I didn’t want to go to New York. And not a single one of you will listen to me! I know what’s best for me. I know what I want, and it’s not fucking New York!” I scream at him, my chest heaving as anger rushes through me. Without thinking, I grab the pillow next to me and fling it at his head. He ducks at the last second, and it hits Sophie on the side of her head.
“Hey!” she exclaims.
I start giggling, probably looking like a maniacal fool. That felt really good, even if I did miss my intended target. Teddy laughs as well—until Sophie smacks him upside the head with a pillow.
“Stop laughing, asshole!”
“You are my new favorite person,” I tell her, the anger flowing out of me as quickly as it came.
She gives me a sympathetic look. “Boys are stupid,” she says, and I nod my agreement. “Plus, Cohen has a small penis.”
My smile falters, and Teddy turns to look at Sophie, his mouth hanging open.
“Shut up, Sophie. I may want to cut off said dick right now, but that’s still my dick. Plus, we both know that’s not true,” I retort.
A meek smile crosses her lips. “Right. That was probably the wrong the thing to say. I’m not good at this kind of stuff.”
Teddy covers his ears and makes a spectacle of himself. “Feel free to let me know when you’re not talking about the size of another guy’s junk around me.”
Rolling her eyes, Sophie leans over and pulls a hand away from his ear, whispering something that causes him to grin. I don’t even want to know. As soon as I get up to leave, Teddy catches my wrist and pulls me down to him.
“I really am sorry, Andi. I can talk to him if you want,” he tells me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
Cuddling up to him, I yank the remote out of his grasp. “Please don’t. You’ve done enough as it is. And it’s fine. He would’ve found out sooner or later. It’s my fault for banking on the later part.”
“If you say so. I’m here for you if you need me,” he says, and even though I’ve been mad at him for the past two days, I feel it melt away.
“I know, Teddy. I know.” With that, I turn the movie back on, and the three of us, probably an unconventional trio, cuddle up together. Even Teddy joins in on singing the songs.
For the first time in two days, my heart feels a little bit lighter. Yelling at Teddy was therapeutic, and I tell myself that I’ll give it one more day. Then I’m going to have a screaming match with Cohen until he gets it through his damn thick skull that Memphis is where my heart is. With my dream job and with him. I just hope he listens to me.
“WAKE UP, sleepyhead,” I hear Reese say as she shakes my shoulder.
Sitting up, I look down at the couch to see that we’ve fallen asleep, Sophie and I each taking up one of Teddy’s shoulders.
“As cute as the three of you look, you need to get your ass in the shower. I love you, girl, but you smell, and there’s no way I’m taking you out in public looking like that.”
Rising from the couch, I follow her to my bedroom and don’t speak until we’re down the hall so I don’t wake up the other two. “What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere.”
She pushes me into the bathroom, which is already steaming from the running water, and starts taking my clothes off. “I gave you two days to mope around, and I’m tired of it. It’s time to go out and drown your sorrows like most people our age.”
“Reese,” I begin to protest, but she shoves me in the shower. I jump from the scalding water, but once I get it to an acceptable temperature, I have to admit that it does feel good to wash off the dirt, grime, and dried tears. “I can drown my sorrows here in the comfort of the living room.”
She doesn’t respond, apparently having left me alone. After I finish showering, I feel refreshed and think that maybe a night out on the town is just what I need. Entering my room, I see Reese already has an outfit waiting for me on the bed. It’s Reese’s favorite little bla
ck dress, and it reminds me of the one I was supposed to wear to the engagement party. A sharp pang hits my heart at having missed it. I still have an unread text message from Charlie on my phone, but I can’t bring myself to open it.
Once I’m dressed and ready, I head to the living room where everyone is waiting for me. Teddy whistles, and Reese beams.
“Wow. Was I really that bad?”
“You were getting there,” Teddy admits, and Sophie slaps him on the arm. “What?! It’s tough love! But you look gorgeous, Andi. He’s—” Once again Sophie slaps him, and Reese glares at him before she hops up and declares that it’s time to go.
As we pile into Cy’s SUV, I turn to Reese. “Where are we going? You never said.”
She twirls a finger in her hair, and I don’t miss the look she exchanges with Teddy. “My boss called earlier and told me there was a last-minute band change tonight. There was a sudden cancelation and that guy, Chris, from Second Star to the Right, agreed to fill in. The whole band couldn’t make it, but he said he didn’t mind doing a solo show. I figured you’d want to go watch. I know how much you enjoyed it last time they were here.”
My heart flutters and falters at the same time. When she mentioned going out, I was thinking dancing and getting drunk until Cy and Teddy had to help me back to the car. I’m not sure a repeat of my first date with Cohen is a great idea when I’m trying to nurse my broken heart, especially since the man who made the date so perfect isn’t going to be there.
Apprehension washes over me, and dread settles in the pit of my stomach. I thought I could do this, but now, I’m not so sure. The closer we get to the bar, the more nervous I become. Closing my eyes, I rest my head against the back of the seat and tell myself that, once I get a few drinks in me, I’ll be able to let loose and enjoy the show. In fact, I’ll just treat it as a work assignment and perhaps I can already get started on an article for my new job in Memphis—because Cohen or no Cohen, I’m still taking it. He’ll just have to deal with me in the same city whether he likes it or not.