"Okay, I guess I could tell you then," Beverly said. "He's the honey in the back room. And he might be a little indisposed."
"Roger," Beverly called out. "I got a couple ladies out here want to see you."
"Bring them back," Roger said. "I can handle them. More is better when it comes to ladies."
Lula and I looked at each other and did some eye rolling.
"Tell him to get dressed and come out here to meet us," I said to Beverly.
"You should put some pants on and come out here," Beverly said. "They don't want to meet up with you in the back room."
We could hear some rustling and fumbling, and Banker strolled out. He was wearing khaki pants and sneakers. No socks, no shirt. I was betting on no underwear.
"Roger Banker," Lula said. "This here's your lucky day on account of we come to give you a free ride to the clink."
Banker blinked once at Lula and once at me. And then he whirled around and ran for the kitchen door.
"Cover the crappy car in the front," I yelled to Lula. "It's probably Banker's." And I took off after Banker, pushing around Beverly, following Banker out the back door. Banker was running fast, long legs gobbling up ground. He jumped a section of chain-link and disappeared around the end of the building. I scrambled to follow and got snagged on a piece of wire as I cleared the top of the fence. I ripped myself free and kept going. Banker was maybe half a block ahead of me, but I had him in view. He was on the street, doubling back, running toward his car. And he was slowing down. Good thing, too, because I was dying. I really needed to do more aerobics. The only time I actually worked out was when I was in bed with Morelli. And even then I spent a lot of time on my back.
Lula was between Banker and the car. She was in the road, looking like a big pissed-off bull about to charge. If I was Banker I would have thought long and hard about getting around Lula, but I guess Banker didn't feel like he had a lot of options, because he never broke stride. Banker ran straight on, into Lula. There was a sound like a basketball hitting against a brick wall. Lula went on her ass, and Banker bounced back about five feet.
I tackled him from behind, and we both went down. I had cuffs in my hand, and I was trying to grab a wrist, but Banker was flailing around.
"Help me!" I yelled to Lula. "Do something."
"Out of my way," Lula said.
I rolled free of Banker, and Lula sat down hard on him, simultaneously expelling every molecule of air out of both ends of Banker's body.
"Oooff," Banker said. And then he went dead still, spread-eagled on his back, looking like roadkill.
I cuffed him, and stood free. His eyes were open but glazed, and he was breathing shallow.
"Blink if you're okay," I said.
"Fuck," Banker whispered.
"Well, what were you thinking?" Lula asked down at him, hands on hips. "You don't just run into a woman like that. Didn't you see me standing there? I got a mind to sit on you again. I could squash you like a bug if I wanted."
"I think I messed myself," Banker said.
"Then you aren't riding in my car," Lula told him. "You can walk your sorry behind all the way to the police station."
I hauled Banker up onto his feet and searched his pockets for his car keys. I found the keys plus twenty dollars. "Give the money to Beverly," I told Lula. "I'll drive him to the station in his car, and you can follow."
"Sure," Lula said.
I dragged Banker to the crappy car parked curbside and turned to Lula. "You're going to wait for me at the police station, right?"
"Are you implying I don't always wait?"
"You never wait."
"I can't help it. I got a thing about police stations. It's from my troubled past."
* * *
An hour later I had Banker securely behind bars, and I had the body receipt in my hand, guaranteeing that Vinnie wouldn't be out his bond money. I searched the parking lot, but I couldn't find Lula. Big surprise. I called her cell phone. No answer. I tried the office.
"Sorry," Connie said. "She's not here. She stopped in to say that you had Banker, but then she took off again."
Great. I had half the ass ripped out of my jeans, my shirt was covered with grass stains, and I didn't even want to think about the state of my hair. I was standing in the middle of the public parking lot across from the police station, and I had no car. I could call my father. I could call Morelli. I could call a cab. Problem was, they were all a temporary fix. When I woke up tomorrow I would be back to square one with no car.
Of course there was still one more choice available to me. Ranger's truck. It was big and black and brand new. It came fully loaded with all sorts of toys and customized options. And it smelled like expensive new leather and Ranger . . . an aroma second only to chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven. Too bad there were a lot of really good reasons not to use the truck. At the top of the list was the fact that Joe would be nuts.
My cell phone chirped in my bag. "It's me," Connie said. "Vinnie just left for the day, and his last directive was that you're responsible for Carol Cantell. He doesn't want any screw-ups."
"Sure," I said. "You can count on me." I disconnected, blew out a sigh, and dialed Ranger's man, Tank. The conversation with Tank was short. Yes, Ranger had given him instructions to turn the truck over to me. Delivery would take about twenty minutes.
I put the time to good use by rationalizing my actions. I had no choice. I had to take the truck, right? How else would I do my job? And if I didn't do my job I wouldn't get paid. And then I wouldn't be able to make my rent payment. True, my sister was paying the rent these days on my apartment, and I was living rent-free with Morelli. But that could change at any moment. Suppose Valerie suddenly moved out?
What then? And it wasn't as if I was married to Morelli. We could have a big fight, and I could be on my own again. In fact, now that I was getting the truck a big fight was almost a certainty. This was an exhausting thought. Life was fudging complicated.
The truck arrived exactly on time, followed by the black SUV. Tank got out of the truck and handed me the keys.
To say that Tank is a big guy is oversimplification. Tank is a tank. His freshly shaved head looks buffed up with Pledge. His body is perfectly toned and fat free. His ass is tight. Its rumored that his morals are loose. And his black T-shirt looks painted onto him. Hard to tell what Tank thinks of me. Or, for that matter, if Tank thinks at all.
"Call me if there's a problem," Tank said. Then he got into the SUV and took off.
Just like that . . . I had a truck. Not just any old truck, either. This was a wicked, bad-ass, four-door supercrew with oversized cast aluminum wheels, a whole herd of horses under the hood, tinted windows, and GPS. Not to mention a slew of gadgets about which I was clueless.
I'd ridden with Ranger, and I knew he always had a gun tucked away, hidden from view. I climbed behind the wheel, felt under the seat, and found the gun. If it had been my truck and my gun, I'd have removed the gun. Ranger left it in place. Trusting.
I cautiously turned the key in the ignition and eased the truck into the flow of traffic. The Buick drove like a refrigerator with wheels. The truck drove like a monster Porsche. I decided if I was going to drive the truck I was going to need a whole new wardrobe. My clothes weren't cool enough. And I needed more basic black. And I should trade in my sneakers for boots. And probably I needed sexier underwear . . . a thong, maybe.
I crossed town, drove a couple blocks on Hamilton, and slipped into the Burg. I was taking the long way home to Joe's house. Always procrastinate the unpleasant. Morelli wouldn't be happy about me going off with Lula, but he'd understand. Going off with Lula when he'd asked me to stay in the house would generate the sort of anger that could be worked off with a half hour of vicious channel surfing. The truck was going to provoke a fullblown contest of wills.
I turned the corner onto Slater and felt my heart roll over in my chest. Morelli was home. His SUV was parked in front of the house. I lined up behind the SUV and
told myself it might not be so bad. Morelli was a reasonable guy, right? He'd see that I had no choice. I had to take Ranger's truck. It was the sensible thing to do. And besides, it was my business. Just because you lived with someone didn't mean they ran your life. I didn't tell Morelli how to conduct his business, did I? Well, okay, maybe once in a while I stuck my nose in there. But he never listened to me! That's the important point here.
Problem was, it wasn't actually about the truck. It was about Ranger. Morelli knew he might not be able to help me if I was standing next to Ranger when Ranger was operating outside the law. And Morelli had enough of his own wild years to understand the feral side of Ranger's sexuality. Another good reason not to have me standing too close to Ranger.
I swung out of the truck, beeped it locked, and marched up to the house. I opened the door, and Bob rushed up to me and bounced around. I gave him some hugs and got some Bob slobber on my jeans. I didn't mind about the slobber. It seemed like a small price to pay for unconditional love. And besides, you could hardly notice the slobber mixed in with the grass and dirt stains and God knew what else. Bob sniffed at the God knew what else and backed off. Bob had standards.
Morelli didn't rush to greet me. He didn't bounce around or slobber or exude unconditional love. Morelli was slouched on the couch, watching the Three Stooges on television. "So," he said when I came into the room.
"So," I answered.
"What's with the truck?"
"What truck?"
He cut his eyes to me.
"Oh," I said. "That truck. That's Ranger's truck. He's letting me borrow it until I get the Buick back."
"Has the truck got a VIN?"
"Of course it has a VIN."
Is the VIN legitimate would have been a better question. Ranger has a seemingly inexhaustible supply of new black cars and trucks. The origin of these vehicles is unknown. The vehicle identification tag is almost always in place, but it seems possible the Bat Cave might contain a metal shop. Not that Ranger or any of his men would actually steal a car, but maybe they wouldn't ask too many questions upon delivery.
"You could have borrowed my SUV," Morelli said.
"You didn't offer it to me."
"Because I wanted you to stay in the house today. One day," Morelli said. "Was that too much to ask?"
"I stayed in the house for most of the day."
"Most of the day isn't all of the day."
"What about tomorrow?"
"It's going to be ugly," Morelli said. "You're going to be on a rant about women's equality and personal freedom. And I'm going to be waving my arms and yelling, because I'm an Italian cop, and that's what we do when women are irrational."
"It's not about women's equality and personal freedom. This isn't political. It's personal. I want you to support my career choice."
"You don't have a career," Morelli said. "You have a suicide mission. Most women try to avoid murderers and rapists. I have a girlfriend who goes out trying to find them. And if murderers and rapists weren't bad enough, now you've pissed off a gang."
"These gang people should get a grip. The least little thing and they're all bent out of shape. What's the deal with them?"
"That's how they have fun," Morelli said.
"Maybe the police should try to get them involved in a hobby, like woodworking, or something."
"Yeah, maybe we could get it to replace all the drug dealing and killings they're doing now."
"Are they really that bad?"
"Yes. They're really that bad."
Morelli shut the television off and came over to me. "What the hell happened to you?" he said, looking more closely at my jeans.
"I had to run Roger Banker down."
"What's this in your hair?"
"I'm hoping it's dog drool."
"I don't get it," Morelli said. "Other women are happy to stay home. My sister stays home. My brothers' wives stay home. My mother stays home. My grandmother stays home."
"Your grandmother is insane."
"You're right. My grandmother doesn't count."
"I'm sure there'll be a time in my life when I want to stay home. This isn't it," I said.
"So I'm ahead of my time?"
I smiled at him and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Yeah."
He pulled me close to him. "You don't expect me to wait, do you?"
"Yep."
"I'm not good at waiting."
"Deal with it," I said, pushing away.
Morelli narrowed his eyes. "Deal with it? Excuse me?"
Okay, maybe I said it a little more authoritatively than I'd intended. But my day hadn't been all that great, plus I was feeling just a tad defensive over the foreign substance in my hair that might have been drool, but then maybe not. I could have ended the conversation there, but I didn't think it was smart to back down on the issue. And truth is, I was working my way out of Morelli's house.
"I'm not staying home. End of discussion."
"The hell this is the end," Morelli said.
"Oh yeah? Well end this." And I gave him the finger and headed for the stairs.
"Very adult," Morelli said. "Nice to know you've thought this through and have it reduced to a hand gesture."
"I've thought it through, and I have a plan. I'm leaving."
Morelli followed me upstairs. "Leaving? That's a plan?"
"It's a temporary plan." I took the laundry basket from the closet and started putting clothes in it.
"I have a plan, too," Morelli said. "It's called you're staying."
"We'll do your plan next time." I emptied my lingerie drawer into the basket.
"What's this?" Morelli said, picking out lavender string bikini underpants. "I like these. You want to fool around?"
"No!" Actually, I sort of did, but it didn't seem in keeping with the current plan.
I gathered up some things from the bathroom, added them to the basket, and carted the basket downstairs. Then I lugged the hamster cage from the kitchen and put it on top of the clothes in the basket.
"You're serious about this," Morelli said.
"I'm not going to start every day off with an argument about hiding in the house."
"You don't have to hide in the house forever. Just lower your visibility for a few days. And it would be nice if you'd stop looking for trouble."
I hefted the laundry basket and pushed past him to the door. "On the surface that sounds reasonable, but the reality of it is that I give up my job and hide."
I was telling the truth. I didn't want to start every day off with an argument. But, I also didn't want to wake up to more graffiti on Joe's house. I didn't want a firebomb thrown through his front window. I didn't want a Slayer breaking in when I was alone and in the shower. I needed a place to stay that was unknown to the Slayers. Not Morelli's house. Not my parents' house. Not my apartment. I wouldn't feel completely safe in any of those places. And I didn't want to put anyone in danger. Maybe I was making a big thing out of nothing . . . but then, maybe not.
* * *
So, here I was idling at the corner of Slater and Chambers with a pleasant, perfectly designed, color-coordinated Martha Stewart laundry basket on the seat beside me, filled with all the clean clothes I could find, a hamster cage wedged into the seat behind me . . . and no place to go.
I'd told Morelli I was going home to my parents' house, but it had been a fib. The truth was, I walked out without totally thinking the whole thing through.
My best friend Mary Lou was married and had a pack of kids. No room there. Lula lived in a closet. No room there either.
The sun was setting, and I was feeling panicky. I could sleep in Ranger's truck, but it didn't have a bathroom. I'd have to go to the Mobil station on the corner to use the toilet. And what about a shower? The Mobil station didn't have a shower. How was I going to get the drool out of my hair? And Rex? This was so pathetic, I thought. My hamster was homeless.
A flashy black Lexus SUV made its way up Slater. I slid low in the seat and held my breath
as the Lexus rolled forward. Hard to see through the SUV's tinted windows. Could be anyone driving, I told myself. Could be a perfectly nice family in the Lexus. But in my gut I worried that they were Slayers.
The Lexus stopped in front of Morelli's house. The bass from the SUV stereo thumped down the street and beat against my windshield. After a long moment the SUV moved off.
Looking for me, I thought. And then I burst into tears. I was in emotion overload, feeling sorry for myself. A bunch of gang guys were out to get me. The police had Big Blue. And I'd moved out on Morelli . . . for the umpteenth time.
Rex had come out of his soup can and was hunkered down on his wheel, myopically surveying his new surroundings.
"Look at me," I said to Rex. "I'm a mess. I'm hysterical. I need a doughnut."
Rex got all perky at that. Rex was always up for a doughnut.
I called Morelli on my cell and told him about the Lexus. "Just thought you should know," I said. "Be careful when you go out of the house. And maybe you shouldn't stand in front of any windows."
"They're not out for me," Morelli said.
I nodded agreement in the dark truck and disconnected. I drove a half mile down Hamilton and pulled into the drive-thru lane at Dunkin' Donuts. Is this a great country, or what? You don't even have to get out of your car to get a doughnut. Good thing, too, because I looked a wreck. Besides the grass-stained, ripped-up clothes, my eyes were all red and splotchy from crying. I got a dozen doughnuts, parked in the back of the lot, and dug in. I gave Rex part of a jelly doughnut and a piece from a pumpkin spice doughnut. I figured pumpkin was good for him.
After eating half the bag I was sick enough not to care about Morelli or the gang guys. "I ate too many doughnuts," I said to Rex. "I need to lie down or burp or something." I checked out my shirt. Big glob of jelly on my boob. Perfect.
The engine was off and the only diode blinking was for the antitheft system. I turned the key and the dash lit up like Christmas. I touched one of the buttons and the GPS screen slid into place. After a few seconds a map appeared, pinpointing my location. Very slick. I touched the screen and a series of commands appeared. One of the commands was return route. I touched the screen and a yellow line took me from Dunkin' Donuts back to Morelli's house.
Plum 10 - Ten Big Ones Page 8