Decline & Fall

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Decline & Fall Page 27

by Chris Mullin


  Friday, 23 May

  Sure enough, we have been massacred at Crewe, the first time in nearly 30 years that the Tories have captured a seat from us at a by-election. It’s bound to lead to another big bout of ‘Gordon must go’, but my hunch is that he will stay – to the bitter end.

  Thursday, 29 May

  A report on the front page of today’s Guardian suggests that the Labour Party is £24 million in debt, that the Co-op Bank is demanding repayment of £2.6 million by the end of June and that National Executive members may be personally liable. The spectre of bankruptcy looms. Either that or utter dependence on the unions. All part of the Blair legacy. Ironic that New Labour has made us dependent on the unions to an extent unprecedented in living memory.

  I took a day off. Ngoc and I drove to Barnard Castle, visited the gardens at Ecclestone Hall and finally to the High Force and back, via the wilderness, through Weardale.

  Monday, 2 June

  To a packed meeting of the parliamentary party to hear Jacqui Smith trying to talk us into backing an extension to 42 days of pre-trial detention. Much talk of ‘tough decisions’ and multiple ‘safeguards’, but the subtext is that, like all such issues, it is turning into a vote of confidence in Gordon and our loyalty is being appealed to. I hadn’t intended to speak, but not wanting to be thought cowardly put my hand up at the last moment and said firmly that I would be voting against, referring to past mistakes. I spoke for about five minutes and was heard in respectful silence, but afterwards was buttonholed by Jack Straw and accused of being disingenuous, on the basis that the mistakes of the mid-seventies couldn’t possibly happen today. I replied that we weren’t only talking about the seventies – look at the Stockwell shooting.

  Earlier Alan Campbell, one of the whips, tried to talk me round, saying I could be sure that the overwhelming majority of my constituents would want me to vote for 42 days. The last time I heard that argument deployed was when Hilary Armstrong tried to persuade me to vote for the Iraq enterprise – and look where that got us.

  Tuesday, 3 June

  A cup of tea with Ruth Winstone, who remarked that she thought that Labour’s historic mission may be over and that it was downhill all the way from now on, à la Liberal Party in the twenties. The same thought had occurred to me of late, but it’s the first time I have heard anyone else say it.

  Wednesday, 4 June

  This evening to the Crown Agents’ annual bash at Marlborough House and then back to the House to be joined in an otherwise deserted Members’ Dining Room by the Europe minister, Jim Murphy, who recounted how the Russians were relentlessly and ruthlessly buying up the world’s energy supplies with a view to clawing their way back to superpowerdom.

  Monday, 9 June

  To London, where the government is making frantic efforts to dig itself out of the hole it has got into over its plans to extend pre-charge detention to 42 days. Nick Brown, who was on the train, says he believes they will lose.

  Tuesday, 10 June

  Desperate efforts re 42 days. Ministers have abandoned any attempt to argue the merits and are simply appealing to loyalty on the basis that we have to save Gordon, whose popularity – according to a poll in today’s papers – has now sunk below that of Iain Duncan Smith at his nadir. Gordon himself has been ringing all and sundry. Even Diane Abbott received a call, which shows how desperate he must be. He spent this afternoon in his room seeing people at 15-minute intervals, some for the second or third time. Extraordinary tales of inducements. Offers of places on committees, ministerial visits, increased compensation for ex-miners with industrial diseases. There was even a pledge to take a lead on getting the US to lift sanctions against Cuba . . . rumours of offers to the Ulster Unionists in return for their votes. Several people emerged saying how demeaning and embarrassing it was. And he takes it all so personally. ‘You did it for Blair, why can’t you fucking do it for me?’ he shouted at one colleague. ‘He was pleading,’ someone said. ‘Weird, worrying, is he ill?’

  ‘Maybe,’ someone suggested, ‘he suffers from a mild form of Asperger’s. That would explain the difficulty he has relating.’

  I am just about the only dissident not to have received a call, having made my position crystal clear at the parliamentary party the other day, although Jack Straw bent my ear in the Tea Room, making no effort to dispute my assertion that we should never have embarked on this foolish, fatuous exercise. ‘Some day I’ll tell you about it,’ he said.

  Even John Reid, who no one could accuse of being a softy, is privately seething. ‘This will make it more difficult to fight terrorism,’ he said. ‘It discredits the government and the party.’ He described as ‘mad’ the latest concession, compensation for those held beyond 28 days and then released.

  Wednesday, 11 June

  To the Cabinet Office to hand over a memory stick containing the ministerial parts of my diaries, which must be vetted before they can be published. As I was going in, I ran into another 42-day wobbler who was treated to an interview with Gordon yesterday.

  ‘What brings you here?’

  ‘Oh, I’ve just been to a security briefing with the spooks . . . well, not actually the spooks . . . they’ve given me something to think about.’

  ‘Perhaps I can give you something to think about,’ I ventured. ‘How do you think the Great British Public are going to react when some tinpot jihadi, who turns out not to be a terrorist, is released on the 43rd day with an IOU in his pocket for £36,000 of taxpayers’ money?’

  ‘Mmmm,’ he replied, ‘that is a point.’ But I suspect, from his demeanour, that he had already sold his soul.

  I had thought that people would no longer confide in me now the news is out that I am keeping a diary, but on the contrary several have made clear they were talking because I keep a diary. All day long tales emerged of bizarre encounters in the Prime Minister’s room. Some were called back two or three times. Andrew Mackinlay was called in twice even though he made clear from the outset that his mind was made up. Gordon, noting Andrew’s interest in the accountability of the Security and Intelligence Committee, asked if he would like to go on it, even though, so far as anyone is aware, there are no vacancies. He then inquired about Andrew’s interest in the War Graves Commission, the implication being that there might be a place on that if Andrew was interested. Andrew thought it was hilarious. ‘A bring and buy sale,’ he said.

  Meanwhile rumours are swirling about what has been offered to the Democratic Unionists in return for their nine votes. Concessions worth up to £200 million are being spoken of.

  In the event it was the Unionists who saved the day – the government won by just nine votes. Thirty-six of our side – myself included – voted against, more than expected, plus an unknown number of abstainers. Attention will now focus on exactly what price was paid for the support of the Unionists. The Tories were on the case within minutes.

  Thursday, 12 June

  A stroll around Kennington with Sally Banks, who is looking for a house. Then to the House to be greeted by the astonishing news that David Davis has resigned both as Shadow Home Secretary and from Parliament. Apparently he had a blazing row with Cameron over whether they should persist in their opposition to 42 days – the details are not yet clear. Suddenly the heat is off us and back on the Tories. Could this be the turning point?

  Wednesday, 18 June

  Emma is 13 today.

  A victory: after months of badgering, Liam Byrne has granted indefinite leave to remain to a desperate Congolese who has been living on charity in Sunderland for the last couple of years. Official incompetence prevailed until the end. Liam says they were refusing to provide him with the file, claiming they didn’t have the staff to track it down. In the end, he set a deadline, saying that, if they didn’t produce it, he would grant the man’s claim regardless and in the end that’s what happened.

  Thursday, 19 June

  The media are full of economic gloom. An inflation rate of 3.3 per cent is being presented as a catastro
phe. Tanker drivers, after a four-day strike, have reached a deal giving them an outrageous 14 per cent. As a result everyone is at it. Dave Prentis, the Unison general secretary, was on the bulletins last night threatening to tear up a three-year deal only just signed on behalf of health workers. A summer of discontent looms.

  Friday, 20 June

  Sunderland

  To the Minster for the funeral of a young soldier killed in Afghanistan. The best part of a thousand people turned out, some watching on screens outside. A handsome young chap, only a year older than our Sarah. His poor mother was distraught, sobbing inconsolably over the coffin.

  The Congolese who I helped rescue came in. I thought he’d be overjoyed, but he wasn’t. It turns out that a grant of indefinite leave to remain, unlike asylum, will not allow him to bring in his wife and two small children, who have been marooned, in penury, in Kenya for four years. So I have to go back to Liam Byrne and start again.

  Monday, 23 June

  Alan Milburn was on the station at Newcastle. He has seen polling not yet in the public domain and says it’s awful. Alan reckons there is a 40 per cent chance that Gordon won’t make it to the election. What might persuade him to stand down? ‘The cabinet would have to tell him.’ Who? Most people capable of delivering bad news are outside the Cabinet. We discussed possible successors. Alan reckons the candidates would include Harman, Miliband, Straw. Not Alan Johnson (‘a nice guy who recognises his own limitations. People assume he has hidden depths, but he doesn’t’). Jack he ruled out on the grounds that he’s ancien régime. Miliband, the strongest possibility, lacks the common touch. Who else? Alan himself perhaps? ‘Probably not’ (note the ‘probably’). ‘I’m too divisive.’ All of which suggest that we will stick with Gordon. Incredibly, Alan still thinks we have a slim chance of holding on: ‘It depends whether you think the public are comfortable with the Tories.’

  Tuesday, 24 June

  Lunch with Daphne Park, who regaled me with more tales of her extraordinary life, including the time she had smuggled a South African who was facing execution out of the Congo under the back seat of her Volkswagen. Once again I broached the possibility of taping her memoirs and, again, she brushed aside the idea. I should have dropped the subject, but as I was helping her back into her electric wheelchair I made a little joke about hiding a bug under the table next time we met. ‘You’ve let the cat out of the bag,’ she said curtly, and sped off without saying goodbye. I hope I haven’t offended her.

  Friday, 27 June

  A friendly note from Daphne, thanking me for lunch and the books I sent her – The Year of the Fire Monkey and a recent edition of A Very British Coup, which I recklessly addressed to ‘my favourite spook’. Anyway, she doesn’t seem to have taken offence.

  Monday, 30 June

  To Newcastle in good time to catch the 09.31, as usual, to London. A slight delay and a last-minute change of platform was announced. I duly crossed to the other side. A train came in. I boarded – only to discover that it was bound for Edinburgh, first stop Berwick-upon-Tweed. It was 16.30 by the time I reached London.

  In mitigation I must add that at least one other person made the same mistake.

  Tuesday, 1 July

  An email from Alastair Campbell: ‘I still have a gut feeling that the country won’t elect Cameron. But then I had a gut feeling that Labour could not possibly elect Harriet Harman as deputy . . .’

  Wednesday, 2 July

  Lunch with My Friend in High Places, who speaks of tantrums, paranoia, hyperactivity and a constant demand for eye-catching gimmicks. Also, an extraordinary account of a recent visit to the Chinese embassy to sign the condolence book for victims of the earthquake. While Gordon and his party were inside word reached them that David Cameron had turned up and was waiting outside for his turn. Whereupon Gordon, fearing that his limelight was about to be stolen, went into a great sulk, strode out of the embassy, barely acknowledging Cameron, and climbed into his car. Once inside he began pummelling the headrest in front of him, causing his protection officer’s head to ricochet, bleating about ‘treachery’ and ‘conspiracy’ and demanding to be told, ‘Who did this to me?’

  A hapless official tried to placate him, but Gordon would not be placated. Eventually the official inquired who was in this conspiracy. To which Gordon, without batting an eyelid, replied, ‘The Tories, the Chinese and the Foreign Office.’

  Thursday, 3 July

  An unusually crowded House for a Thursday, but then of course we are discussing pay and rations. On pay, despite weeks of media lies, we were a model of restraint – rejecting the ‘catch up’ recommended by the Senior Salaries Review Body, and opting instead for a modest 2.25 per cent plus a promise, which no one quite believes, that we will never again have to vote on our own wages. On expenses, however, modest reforms proposed by the Members Estimates Committee were rejected in favour of a motion from Don Touhig more or less supporting the status quo. As always, I voted with the hairshirts, but in truth Don Touhig’s motion wasn’t all that wicked; the main reforms (transparency and receipts) are already underway and it is debatable whether we need to bring in outside auditors at enormous public expense.

  ‘Gordon won’t lead us into the election,’ remarked Eric Martlew as we filed into the hairshirt lobby. ‘Most people know we can’t win with him. There’s no malice. People are sad about it.’

  ‘What makes you think the dear old Labour Party will ever muster the resolve to get rid of him, just because we face certain defeat?’ I inquired.

  ‘The difference is,’ said Eric, ‘that in those days we didn’t have many seats to lose. This time we do.’

  Who does Eric favour by way of replacement?

  ‘Miliband or Johnson.’

  Monday, 7 July

  The Americans are reported to have bombed a wedding party in Afghanistan, killing a large number of women and children. They are still in denial, but no doubt it will be confirmed in due course. This will be the third wedding they have bombed – one in Iraq and two in Afghanistan.

  Tuesday, 8 July

  I initiated a little debate in Westminster Hall on the impact of the Rating (Empty Properties) Act, which came into force on 1 April and threatens to put a number of local companies out of business. Pallion Engineering, for example, faces an increase from £55,000 to a potentially ruinous £277,000. Another huge own goal, the fuse for which was lit during Gordon’s time at the Treasury. I’ve been raising it with ministers privately for months and getting nowhere, so I decided to go public. The hapless junior minister put up to answer whispered in the margins that he agreed with my analysis, but the problem was the Treasury – who needless to say were nowhere to be seen. Apparently the Treasury have budgeted on receiving £950 million, which they can ill afford to lose, from taxing unused or underused offices and industrial sites and are in denial about the likely damage.

  Wednesday, 9 July

  At the suggestion of the local government minister, John Healey, I wrote to Alistair Darling, asking him to assess the impact of charging rates on empty business property and to announce the outcome in his pre-Budget report. Peter Candler (of Rivergreen Developments), who came in for dinner this evening, says it’s mad and will kill off regeneration in the North-East. The regional development agency and the chambers of commerce say much the same. Apparently, the idea came from two very clever people – Sir Michael Lyons and Kate Barker – who were commissioned by the Treasury to work out a way of forcing surplus commercial property onto the market. With characteristic Treasury brilliance, it was dreamed up at a time when the economy was buoyant and launched in a downturn.

  Thursday, 10 July

  Mum would have been 88 today. I thought of her all day.

  A chat with Dennis Skinner about Tuesday’s meeting of the organisation subcommittee, which, after a long debate, decided to impose another all-women shortlist on Sunderland. He says it’s all down to Harriet, who is determined to increase the quota of female MPs, at whatever cost. Dennis said h
e would have retired last time and only stayed because Harriet was determined to impose an all-women shortlist on Bolsover, which would have excluded the local front runner.

  Friday, 11 July

  Sunderland

  The head teacher of a local, and much improved, secondary school called in to complain that his school has appeared on a list of schools allegedly threatened with closure if they don’t reach 30 per cent A–C grades, including English and maths. This just seven months after receiving a letter from the schools minister, Jim Knight, congratulating the school on being ‘amongst the top-performing’ based on added value. The letter goes on: ‘Please pass my thanks and congratulations to your pupils, staff and governors for all their hard work and success.’ Should we laugh or cry?

  Saturday, 12 July

 

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