by Lesley Jones
What the fuck?
My mouth opened and closed a few times, but no words came out as I looked at Maca.
“Well, we always knew it was his photos that ended up in the papers.” Maca said before draining his glass.
“But why the rape allegations? What was that all about?” I asked.
“He thought it’d get you kicked off the tour.” Len admitted.
“Fucker,” Maca said through gritted teeth.
Len tops up our glasses again.
“Is there no way we can use this to bring charges against the pair of them?” I was curious.
“No. No fucking way am I having all of that dragged through the courts.” Maca jumped in, guns blazing.
“What they did...” He took a few deep breaths, trying to compose himself. “That pair of cunts ruined mine and your sister’s lives. I’ll find a way to make them pay, but it won’t be done publicly. There’s no way I’m having all the details of what went on that day dragged through the courts and made public. G’s been through enough—I’ve been through enough. No more. No fucking more.”
I throw myself back in my chair like a sulky child, but frustration was my driving force, not sulkiness.
“I mean it, Marls. We’ll get that fucker, but not in a way that’s gonna hurt Georgia.” Maca reiterated to me.
“Yes, Mac, I fucking heard you the first time.”
“We’ll get him. Don’t you worry, boys. We’ll find a way and we’ll get him.” Len reassured us. “I’ll call in every favour that I can and he won’t see it coming.”
Not long after that, we left, leaving Len with a video of an advert we’d just filmed in Japan for an energy drink. We headed home, and I was feeling a little less pissed off, thanks to the bottle and half of bourbon we’d consumed.
Within the month, Kombat Rock had been dropped by our label. A plagiarism charge had been brought against them for some song they’d claimed to have written in the early eighties and Rocco Taylor’s Hollywood mansion had been raided, where an ‘undisclosed’ quantity of class A drugs had been discovered.
Did I mention that I loved my big brother Lennon?
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
1988 / 1989
Maca and I had invested in a holiday resort in the Turks and Caicos Islands in early ’87. We were invited to the opening in December of that year and spent all of Christmas, New Years, and January of 1988 there. We hadn’t planned on staying away that long, but the weather back home was freezing and the place was like paradise.
We played a lot of golf, snorkelled, and even wrote and composed four new songs. I returned to England feeling relaxed and centred, although I hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that there was a hole somewhere. Something was just missing from my life, but I didn’t know what.
In February we took a skiing holiday with Jimmie and Len, and finally settled back into life in England in early March.
Thinking back on it now, I know that I was just running away from the loneliness I was feeling inside, and I suspect that Maca was doing the same. It had been almost five years since we’d had this much time to ourselves, and if the truth be told, we had no one except each other to spend it with. What a sad pair of wankers we were.
Sundays, when I had nothing to do, were always a shit time for me. I knew that my whole family gathered on a Sunday at my parents’ place, but I was usually travelling, busy, or too hungover to care. But that particular sunny March morning, I woke up feeling pissed off that I couldn’t just turn up there for dinner with Maca in tow like I’d done hundreds of times before when we were growing up.
The girl I’d come home with the night before was still curled up and sleeping next to me. I laid there for a moment, trying to remember her name. I went through the alphabet, starting with A, recounting every girl’s name that I could. I got to L and knew I was close; Laura, Lauren, Linda, Lesley, Louise. It began with an L, I was sure of it.
My bedroom door flew open and Maca stood there, drinking from a coffee cup.
“It’s a beautiful morning. Fancy taking the bikes out?” He asked.
We had bought ourselves a Harley Softtail each last year, but had only been out on them a few times in secret, behind Len’s back. Both he and the label would shit a brick if they found out, so we’d kept those particular purchases quiet.
The blonde sleeping next to me poked her head out from under the duvet.
“Talking of bikes,” Maca said. “How was that one to ride? She made enough fucking noise.”
“Ooooh, harsh dude, and a highly misogynistic assumption.”
“You eat a dictionary along with her fanny last night?”
“Oi. Don’t come in here with the hump, just coz you didn’t get any last night. Fuck off back to bed and rub one out.”
He’d left the club early the night before, getting pissed off with the way the women there thought it was okay to keep putting their hands all over him. I mean seriously, would you go up to a complete stranger and start rubbing their cock through their jeans? No, probably not, so why the fuck do women, and some men, think it’s okay to do it to us, just because we’re in a band? We’re neither pieces of meat, nor public property, at least not once we’re offstage. If we were to approach random women and grab them by the snatch, we’d be locked the fuck up for it.
Anyway, Maca jumped in a taxi and went home. He was going through another withdrawn and angry stage. As much as his mood swings gave me whiplash, he was my mate and I worried about him. I stayed for another hour, talking to a couple of mates when blondie, with the L sounding name, caught my eye and I ended up taking her home. If I remember rightly, she was short, cute, and had a massive rack. The sex was pretty good too, and I seem to recall bending her into a few interesting positions during the night, but what I’d liked most was that she had no fucking clue who I was.
L girl sat up and blinked a few times.
“Oh my fucking, shit, fuck ...” She stares at Maca while trying to wipe her make-up from under her eyes and messing with her hair.
“Morning, blondie.” I played it safe, seeing as I couldn’t remember her name
L ... Li ... Le ... Lu ... Lucy! Fuck yeah, I’m good. Lucy. That was her name.
She turned to me and screamed. “Oh my fucking god, Marley Layton!”
I gave my best impersonation of her scream and in her voice, I said, “Oh my fucking god, Lucy.”
She looks around the room, frowning. “Lucy? Who the fuck’s Lucy? My name’s Olivia.”
Oops.
“Livy, sorry, I meant to say Liv, Livy, not Lucy.”
“Ooh, nice backtrack, dude.” Maca got in, shaking his head as he walked away.
“Shut the door on your way out, fucker,” I called after him. “Don’t want you getting all jealous coz your right hand is the nearest thing you’ve got to a Lu—I mean, a Livy this morning.”
Shit, just shoot me now.
After another quick roll around with Lucy Livy Lou... yeah, that’s what I’d decided to call her. It gave me a few more options at getting her name right and she was giving me the best blow job, all because she thought I’d given her a ‘cute nickname.’ Everybody wins.
She headed off to my bathroom and showered while I went out to the kitchen to find Maca sitting at the breakfast bar, watching an episode of ThunderCats on the television. He had the sound muted, whilst sipping on another cup of coffee.
“You all right, dude?” I asked him.
“I’m gonna go and see your sister.” He stated while staring at the television screen.
“Why?” I asked, honestly curious as to his reason.
He turns and looks at me. “I need to know, Marls. I need to tell her everything, and I need her to hear me out. Then I need to know if there’s ever going to be a chance for us to sort this mess out.”
I nod my head, whilst debating internally as to whether it was a good idea.
“From what Jim and Len tell me, she’s miserable, and I’m still fucking dying here without her.�
�� He rubbed his hand over the stubble on his chin.
“I can’t carry on like this anymore. I’m existing, but I’m not living. Even if she says no, if she tells me straight up that there’s no chance of us ever getting back together, at least then I’ll know. It’ll hurt... fuck, it’ll be agony, but it can’t be any more painful than what I’ve been going through these last few years.”
“When?” I asked. “When you planning on going to see her?”
“This week. I don’t wanna wait now that I’ve made up my mind, and I don’t want Jim or Lennon to know, just in case they warn her. I don’t wanna give G a chance to overthink what she’s feeling, I’ll just turn up. I know her, Marls, I know her inside and out. I’ll know as soon as she sees me, what she’s really feeling.”
As much as I cringed with the knowledge of how well Maca knew my little sister, I also accepted that what he said was true. Those two were inseparable for five years, and were sleeping together for the last year or so they were together. Nobody knew George as well as Maca did, and being the big brother that I was, that was actually the way I’d like it to stay—him being her one and only.
I have no idea if she’d seen other blokes. I know Jimmie had mentioned that she’d finally started going out with this new friend, Ash, but she’d never mentioned her dating anyone. She did say that she didn’t go to my mums for Sunday dinner anymore because she was out most Saturday nights. That was something I hadn’t yet mentioned to Maca.
“Whatever you feel you need to do, man. I won’t say a word to anyone. Just let me know if there’s anything I can help do to make this happen.” I patted him on the shoulder as I spoke.
We both stare at the television in silence for a few seconds.
“Fuck, I need a shag, I’m actually sitting here with a semi because of a fucking cartoon cheetah cat woman on the telly.” He stated.
“Oh, come on. What’s not to get hard about Cheetara? It’s when you start getting hard over Jaga you need to worry, or worse still, WilyKat. Now that would just be wrong, dude.”
I watched as he smiled and shook his head.
“Seriously though. We have to fly to Ireland tomorrow for that charity, do the interviews Len’s lined up, but we’re back home next weekend. Perhaps I can try and find out what she’s doing next week so you’ll at least know where she’ll be.”
“I’d rather talk to her somewhere private, not at your mum and dad’s in front of everyone.”
“That’s fine. I’ll just find out when she finishes work. She’s living in the flat above the shop now so it shouldn’t be too hard to get her on her own.”
“Thanks, mate, appreciate it.”
“Least I can do brother, the very least.” I told him as I headed off back to my bedroom to shower and get dressed for our run out on the bikes.
By the time I’d showered and dressed, Maca and L girl were chatting and laughing like old friends in the kitchen.
“Olivia wants to know if we could collect her mate from where she stayed last night and give them both a lift back to Chelmsford?” I wasn’t sure if Maca was asking on L girls behalf, or telling me that that’s what we were going to do. He shrugged his shoulders before continuing, “I just thought it might give us a decent run out on the bikes.”
“Can do.” I replied. “I was actually thinking of heading out to my parents’ place ... ya know, to see what I could find out about what G’s up to for the next few weeks.” I informed him, trying not to give too much away in front of our present company.
“I’m not sure, Marls. Who’s gonna be there?”
“By the time we get there, no one you’ll need to worry about, but I’ll check on whose cars are on the drive once we’re there anyway. If there’s a problem, we’ll just keep driving and drop the girls off.” He still doesn’t look too happy, but I continue. “Where’s your mate want picking up from, sweetheart?”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Turns out that L girls mate was actually her sister who spent the night at their brothers, just around the corner from us.
I sometimes wonder how stupid I was at that stage of my life. At the time, I thought I had my shit together, but my decision making skills and the complete lack of thought I put into them were obviously something I had yet to master.
We picked L girls sister up and drove out towards my parents’ place with the girls on the back. It felt good. It was a Sunday afternoon and the traffic was light. Living the life that we do, the freedom of the open road—no cameras, no fans—just complete anonymity was something to savour and I decided as we drove, that that was something we should make time to do more often.
Maca was still not convinced that calling at my parents’ place was the right thing to do, but I reassured him that if G was there, then we’d just keep driving. I didn’t want to let him know that she wouldn’t be and burst his bubble.
I left him at the gate while I went and checked if Georgia’s car was on the driveway. As expected, it wasn’t.
I signal for Maca to follow me down to the house. Parking our bikes and removing our helmets, Maca asked, “You sure about this, Marls? If Bailey’s there, I don’t think he’s gonna wanna see my face while he’s eating his Sunday roast.”
“It’s after four o’clock, Mac. Dinner’ll be done, and everyone but my rents will be in the studio. Anyway, Bails’ll be fine.” I tried to reassure him, knowing all the while that Bails would probably not be fine and would have a few choice words to say to Maca, as he did myself after the Paris incident; most of those words being a variation of stupid, little, and cunt. But hey, I survived, and I’m sure Maca will too.
“Who’s Bailey?” L girl asked.
“My older brother.” I told her.
“And I just happen to not be his favourite person.” Maca added.
“Aw, is the big bad rock star scared?” The sister, whose name had escaped me, chimed in. Maca shot her, then me a look, which I interpreted as, ‘shut her the fuck up.’
“Chill, dude.”
“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one about to be fed your own dick for Sunday lunch.”
I threw my head back and laughed at that statement and opened the door to the studio. I felt like every muscle in my body disconnected itself from my brain. I remained standing, but was paralysed, unable to move another step.
My eyes didn’t leave my sister’s. I watched a spark of something flare in her eyes for a few seconds before a look of complete heartbreak marred her features as she took the four of us in. All too late, I realised once again what an almighty fuck up I had made, and that once again, I had caused my sister pain.
“No, oh God, no.” Georgia sobbed quietly.
“Fuck, Gia.” Maca said from beside me before making a move towards her.
Bailey started shouting at Maca to get out, while Maca begged George to give him chance to talk.
I watched my sister’s eyes roam over the face of the man that I knew, that we all knew, that she loved.
“What d’ya want me to do, George?” I heard Bailey ask, the room silent. All eyes were either on Maca or G.
I silently begged my sister, with everything I had in me, I begged her to just give him a chance, to please hear him out.
Georgia had been my best friend from the moment she was born, I’d always felt responsible for her, was raised to always protect her. Until the last few years, I’d spent more time with G than I had with any of my other siblings and I knew every expression that girl could create. And I knew, in that moment, she was about to tell Maca to stay. I’d witnessed the hard look in her eyes leave, to be replaced with only love, shining brightly in them as she looked across to my mate.
As much of a pussy this might make me sound, I’d readily admit that I wanted to cry. Watching two of the people I loved most in the world, finally come face to face again, knowing the heartbreak they had both endured whilst apart, was finally about to be over. I stood there, rooted to the spot and held onto my tears, willing my sister to just do the right
thing.
And then it all fell apart.
“Who the fuck’s she, Maca?” L girls stupid, stupid sister asked.
Georgia’s eyes moved to take in the girl now standing right beside Maca and I knew in an instant what was going through my sister’s mind. It had gone through mine when we picked her up. She was short and curvy, with big tits and blonde hair.
Haley White.
She looked like Haley White. I saw it and G sure as fuck saw it too. Whether Maca did, I’m not sure, but he shouted at her nevertheless.
“Get out!” he roared, making her flinch. “Get out. Get out. Get out.”
Whatever I thought that I’d witnessed in Georgia’s eyes a few moments ago was now gone, replaced by a cold hard stare of indifference as she looked at Maca.
“G, please baby, just talk to me. I miss you so much, so fucking much.” His begging tone hurt my heart because I knew my sister and I knew he had no chance of making her waiver from whatever decision she had now come to.
“Go,” she whispered.
“No, G, no. Please, just five minutes. There’s so much I need to tell you. I love you so much, Gia.”
“Go Sean,” she screamed back at him.
Len and Bailey moved. Everyone shouted. There was chaos all around me as my brothers dragged my best mate out onto the drive as he called my sister’s name and she just sat with her arms wrapped around her knees, which were pulled up to her chest, and cried. She cried the cry of someone broken, damaged, and in so much more pain than any human should have to bear, and it was all my fault. Once again, I’d fucked up and was the cause of my sister’s heartbreak, and the devastating sound of my best mate calling her name.
I don’t know what part of my stupid, stupid twenty something year old brain thought it would be a good idea to bring Maca here with two girls in tow. Two girls that meant absolutely nothing to either of us. One of them we’d only just met. I wasn’t an idiot, so what part of my brain thought that that would be okay? To this day, I have no idea ... no fucking idea, but I knew I had to put it right.