by Lexi Blake
She shook her head because the answer they were pointing her toward didn’t make a lick of sense. “He was a jerk to me. He told me flat out that he couldn’t have a relationship with me.”
“Yeah, and he probably chose to tell you this after he slept with you.” Rachel’s face was still blotchy from her crying, but a sympathetic look took over. “Men are dumb. So dumb. Not that Max and Rye were. I mean, they’re dumb in other ways, but they knew their hearts. Stef is plain dumb.”
Jen looked to Callie. Callie was Stef’s best friend. She’d stood by him for years. She was as close to him as a sister. Surely she would defend him.
“He’s also a bit of an ass at times, and Rachel’s right. He’s dumb as a post when it comes to this,” Callie said.
“Are we talking about my boy?” Stella set down three mugs of what looked like hot chocolate. “He’s always behaved like an idiot when it comes to Jennifer. He’s smooth as glass around those other women he brings into town, but he practically falls all over himself over one of my waitresses. I always knew he had good taste.”
“How can you say that?” She was completely at a loss. Her world was spinning on its axis and stopping in a completely foreign place. “He ignored me for eighteen months. I begged. I pleaded. And he said no every single time.”
“And the minute you turned your back he stared at you like a lovesick puppy dog,” Stella explained. “I know that boy. Hell, after his father left I practically raised him. Love him like he was my own. You’re the only woman he’s ever really fallen for, and it scares the crap out of him.”
She didn’t understand anything. “Why? It wasn’t like I was playing hard to get. I walked in and practically fell at his feet. I found out about all the pervy things he liked and said, hey, I can do pervy things, too. I bought BDSM books. I learned the lingo. I was the easiest lay he was ever going to get, and he turned me down. So one of you has to explain how all this rejection equals true love.”
“Do you know Lana Wilson?” Callie asked.
Jen felt her heart drop. Sure she knew her. Lana Wilson was gorgeous and loaded. She was a stunning, curvy blonde bombshell. She was everything a man could want. Lana never had a hair out of place. She wouldn’t be caught dead with paint under her fingernails or smelling like turpentine. She was Stef’s sub. God, how could she have forgotten about Lana? Was she still around? Was she the reason he didn’t want his dad in the guesthouse?
“I can see you do,” Callie said with a nod. “He had a training date with her twice a month for the last three years. He hasn’t seen her since the day you walked out.”
She felt her mouth drop. Stef took his role as a Dominant seriously. “Why?”
Callie’s shoulders came up in a shrug. “He won’t talk to me about it, but if you ask me, it’s because he was committed elsewhere and he finally got it through his thick skull that his feelings weren’t going away.”
Why was he stubborn? “Damn it, I’ve never told that man no. Why would he push me away? I slept with him. I gave him everything I had. I told him I loved him. Why did he dump me?”
“His mom,” three voices said in perfect harmony.
“Thanks, that clears up everything.” She wanted to pull her hair out. “One of you explain, now.”
Stella scooted in beside Jen, her hand running soothingly across Jen’s as she urged her to take a sip of the cocoa. “Stefan’s momma was very young when she married Sebastian. She was twenty-four, and she wasn’t ready to be a wife or a mother.”
“She was older than me,” she said, more to herself than anyone else.
“Yes,” Callie agreed. “I never met her, but I saw a picture of her. She was stunningly beautiful, a pageant queen. She was Miss Oklahoma or something. She met Stef’s dad and married him within six weeks.”
“And had Stef a year later,” Stella explained, her voice even, though Jen could see her eyes tightening. “I have all of this secondhand, but she didn’t like living in Dallas. She wanted to go to LA and become a movie star. Sebastian wanted a wife. She wanted a sugar daddy. When Stef was five, she walked out on both of them. Sebastian was devastated. He left Dallas and ended up here for a couple of years. When he went back, Stef stayed. But I think his parents’ divorce wrecked him. It’s not you he’s scared of. It’s the fact that you’re twenty-three, hon. He doesn’t think you know your mind yet.”
A whole bunch of things fell into place. Every fight and argument she’d ever had with Stef suddenly had a sheen of clarity. He’d always argued that she needed to work on her art rather than chasing around a man. He’d claimed he didn’t have time for her. He’d pushed her away and then pulled her back when there was the slightest hint of danger.
God, he was a dumbass.
And yet she couldn’t be too intelligent since her heart, her stomped-on and busted-up heart, was already softening. It had been burst and broken, and at the slightest sign of hope, it perked up and held out its stupid hands and wanted a hug from the same man who’d damaged it in the first place.
“He missed his mom?” Jen couldn’t stand the thought of it. In her mind’s eye she could see him as a child, alone and abandoned. She’d heard that part of the story. Sebastian had left, and Stef had been raised in Bliss. The vision of a lonely boy caused her eyes to water and her mind to race. She remembered all the times she’d told him she wanted nothing more than a fling. It had all been a manipulation. She’d thought that once she had him in bed, she could convince him that she was girlfriend material. When he’d turned her down, she’d pouted and ranted and made an ass of herself.
“He would never admit it, but yes, he missed her terribly.” There was a gleam of moisture in Stella’s eyes, but she sniffed it away. “His father made a mess of things because he couldn’t commit after she left. Stef had made friends here and wouldn’t go back to Dallas. Sebastian let him stay. Stef built a life for himself out here. He also built up some strong and high walls that kept a lot of people out. Then one day, he fell for you. You walked out at the first sign of trouble.”
She turned quickly because she wasn’t at fault here. “I left after he told me it would never work. I left after he told me how much he regretted what was the best night of my life.”
Stella nodded. “Yes, you left rather than fight for him or for your life here. You left because you were mad.”
“I left because I was embarrassed.” The truth hit her like a ton of bricks. She hadn’t left to spare him. She hadn’t run away because there was nothing for her in Bliss. Everything she cared about was in this tiny mountain town, and she’d left it behind to spare herself some momentary embarrassment.
“What were you embarrassed about?” Stella asked, her tone grave, as though the next answer truly meant something to her.
She felt the tears begin to roll down her cheeks. “I was embarrassed that he couldn’t love me back. I was embarrassed because I knew I would never stop loving him, but I couldn’t make him love me.”
“Oh, baby girl, that is nothing to be embarrassed about.” Stella pulled her close. “Every woman in the world has loved some man who didn’t deserve her. That’s no reason to give up your home and your friends.”
“And it’s not true,” Callie insisted. “I don’t care what he said. He missed you. Look, Jen, I don’t know what happened that night. He won’t talk about it. I do know that he bought a dozen red roses from Marie and Teeny the next day, and he tossed them in the garbage outside your place when he realized you were gone.”
Rachel had tears streaming down her cheeks, too. “Max said Stef has been very enthusiastic in their fistfights since Jen left. It’s a sign that he misses you.” Rachel sobbed into her napkin. “Sorry. I can’t help it. I don’t care what the doctor says. I think I’m having a litter. There has to be more than one baby. I’m a whale.”
Jen couldn’t help it. She laughed through the watery mess of her tears. Something heavy had lifted from her, and it felt good to cry and laugh and just be with these women. It didn’t ma
tter that every tourist in the place was watching them like they were crazy and all the locals were on their cell phones telling the people who weren’t there about the waterworks.
“So Stef is dumb,” Jen acknowledged in a rush of joy.
“Very, very dumb,” Callie agreed with a smile.
Dumb she could handle. She reached out to pick up her cocoa, but she met Stella’s hand, and the mug spilled off to the side, dripping to the floor.
Q was up and running for the door, his big body hitting it with a force that sent it flying open. She got a glimpse of the dog as he ran through the snow.
Rachel pointed to the street beyond the window. “We’ve got about five minutes before Max gets here. He’s at the feed store. Ever since Dennis bought it and turned it into a church on Sundays and started only giving discounts to those who attend services, Max has been on his ass. Better order him a burger, or better yet, call Zane. He might need a beer.”
“Don’t worry about it, hon.” Stella got up and started mopping up the mess. “Hal keeps a bottle of whiskey in the back. If that doesn’t work, we can call the doc. I’ve heard he keeps tranquilizer darts around for Mel. I figure they’ll work on Max, too. I like that doctor, I tell you.”
Stella walked off, her boots clanging lightly on the floor.
Callie leaned forward, her elbows on the table. “So, you going after Stef?”
That was the question, wasn’t it? How much did she want him? A whole, whole lot, her heart replied. It was pounding at the thought of going another couple of rounds with Stef.
“I can’t change how old I am.” It was a barrier she would have to find a way around.
Rachel put a hand on her stomach. She looked more peaceful than before. “You have to bust those walls down. He’ll get it through that thick skull in the end. You’re his woman. You have to prove it.”
That, she decided, might be easier said than done.
* * * *
Alexei had to move quickly to get out of the way of the enormous animal that burst from the diner’s doors. He thought it was a dog, but it might have been a small bear. Oddly, it wasn’t the weirdest thing he’d seen this afternoon.
This was a strange place, but friendly. The people were talkative and open. He’d spent much of the hours since he’d left Ivan walking around the town. He’d browsed through the stores with their odd combination of ticky-tacky tourist merchandise and gorgeously made works of art. All around him the mountains climbed their way to a gloriously blue sky. Even in the winter, the world here seemed full of light. He almost never saw blue sky in Moscow. The sun rarely came out and even when it did, he did not join the people who lay on the grass, soaking it up. No. He stayed to the shadows always.
Was it any wonder the people here seemed so happy? They were surrounded by beauty. He’d found himself wandering. Up and down Main Street, people were out decorating and putting up small booths for the festival that was set to begin the next day. There was a happy hum of energy from the tourists who grabbed ski wear and fuzzy socks with bears on them.
This was a good place.
“Hi,” a breathy voice said.
He looked down at the small woman with dark auburn hair. She was petite, with a curvy body that had his eyes roaming. His flare of attraction was shoved aside as he read the tight shirt she was wearing.
Stella’s Café. Like the women in the picture he’d found at Jennifer Waters’s apartment.
His stomach churned as he remembered he had a job to do.
“Would you like a booth or a table?”
His eyes briefly skimmed her nametag. Holly. Holly was a lovely woman. Luckily, she was not the woman he was looking for.
“I will sit at counter, thank you.” Weariness overtook him as he slid onto a seat at the counter. He’d briefly forgotten himself. He sent Holly a tired smile and ordered a cup of coffee.
“Anything else?” Her bright green eyes were wide with expectation.
It was a polite question, but somehow it didn’t have the inquiry of a server to a guest. There was something about her that made him think she wanted to please, wanted to give. He found he couldn’t disappoint her. She was sweet, and if his circumstances were different, he would try to seduce her. How long had it been since he’d taken a nice girl out? Never. Nick was right. He didn’t know what normal was. His brother died when Alexei was a teenaged boy. All he’d thought about since was revenge. As he climbed up through Pushkin’s organization, the women he’d had access to had mostly been prostitutes or the sort to couple with gangsters. Not a one of them saw past his wallet or his position. Not a one of them had looked at him with wide eyes and a truly soft smile.
“You pick for me?”
Her head cocked a little to the side, and she bit at her bottom lip, causing Alexei to shift uncomfortably in his seat. She was so beautiful.
“Savory or sweet?” Holly asked.
“Sweet.” Definitely sweet. She would be sweet. She would be sweet in his arms. She would make sweet sounds. And her taste, that would be sweet, too. He would bury his face between her legs and lap up all the sweet cream he would draw from her.
She clapped her hands together. “Excellent. Stella makes the best chocolate pie ever! Be right back.”
He took a long, deep breath and tried to get his dick under control. He was always in control. He was on a mission, and that mission had nothing to do with a woman named Holly with soft breasts and wavy auburn hair that would look beautiful spread across a pillow.
There was movement to his left as someone sat down next to him. He turned to see a man with reddish hair settling into the last chair left at the counter.
“Cup of coffee, please?”
Alexei sized him up immediately. This man oozed authority. There was a hard line to his jaw and a stiffness to his bearing, as though he was always ready for something to go wrong, and he would be the one to fix it. He knew the instinct well because he saw it himself, felt it, every day.
“Sure thing, Caleb,” Holly said, turning toward the new guy. “You need a menu or do you want your regular?”
And just like that, the man named Caleb turned into a sputtering mess. “I…yeah, great. Great. Regular sounds good. I’ll take that.”
Holly shook her head, but there was a teasing grin on her face. “I have no idea how you can eat the same thing every day, Doc.” She placed a piece of pie in front of Alexei. “There you go, big guy. You make sure you tell me how you like that pie. There’s more where that came from, you know.”
He bet there was. Holly turned, and he couldn’t help but admire the way her ass looked in a pair of jeans. She was luscious. Those cheeks of hers were round and curvy. Damn, but he’d like to get his hands on her.
He shifted to grab some sugar for his coffee. Cold green eyes stared right through him. The man named Caleb wore a frown that would have intimidated a lesser man. Unfortunately for Caleb, he wasn’t a lesser man. He had sat with a gun aimed at his head, not knowing whether he would live or die on more than one occasion. He found the man’s jealousy amusing.
“I am not trying to steal girl,” he assured the man. “But I am not blind.”
“You could be,” Caleb shot back.
He shrugged before digging into the pie. Holly had been right. It was excellent. “I don’t to be seeing ring on her finger.”
Now the man was staring at his coffee. “I didn’t say she was mine. She’s a nice woman. She doesn’t need some tourist pawing at her.”
“I will attempt to keep paws to self, but if you want woman, you should take her. She is too lovely to be alone for many times.”
“Thanks for the advice, but I think I can handle it.” Caleb turned away, his part in the discussion obviously over.
The door to the café swung open, and Alexei turned to see two boys walk in. They were twins, with dirty blond hair, oversized coats, and hockey sticks. Neither boy looked like he could handle a hockey stick. They were slender, with not an ounce of muscle between them. They
shrugged out of their coats and took a seat in one of the empty booths. Their heads sagged as though the weight was too heavy to carry. Each boy had sad brown eyes that stared at the tabletop as though it was the only thing in the world.
Holly set Caleb’s mug in front of him. She noticed the boys and walked around the counter to move to their booth. She got to one knee, and if the booth hadn’t been so close, he wouldn’t have heard her soft words.
“They wouldn’t let you play again, would they?”
Both heads shook.
“Little pricks,” Caleb muttered under his breath.
He was curious enough to risk the man’s wrath. The boys, though American and twins, somehow reminded Alexei of himself at that age. There was something in the way their heads hung in disappointment and the way they clutched those sad hockey sticks. “Those young boys?”
Caleb’s eyes flared as though he’d forgotten he wasn’t alone and was pissed to be reminded. He shook his head as though to clear it, and his voice got low. “Nah, those are the Farley brothers. They’re twelve and flat-out geniuses when it comes to school, but they can’t get the boys from the next town to let them into their hockey game. It must be lonely for them. They’re the only kids their age here in Bliss.”
He turned back, and the kids were accepting comfort from Holly. An older woman with frothy blonde hair and cowboy boots was serving them hot chocolate and ruffling their hair. They seemed like nice kids.
“They are not picked for team?” He should let it go, but somehow he couldn’t. “Perhaps they were too many players?”
“Nah, they’re just not very good,” Caleb said with a little snarl. “Those other kids are jerks because they think Will and Bobby are nerds. They have genius-level IQs and have photographic memories. You know what a nerd is?”
He searched his brain and came up with the slang. “Yes, this is smart person. I do not understand why your country does not like the smart persons. In Russia, these boys will one day make all the money and get all the womens. Why does this mean they cannot to play hockey? How will they get better if no one will let them play?”