by Abby Gale
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to. You were standing there like you wanted to be alone. That’s why I didn’t want to bother you,” he said.
“Yeah, my bad. I’m tired, I think,” I laughed nervously. Why was I nervous around him? He was cute and friendly since the first moment he saw me. I blamed the tension and the growing paranoia on my body.
“Well, I’ll leave in a few. See you tomorrow night, Channing,” I said and walked into the club toward the backstage. The same eerie feeling followed me in the hallway, too. I quickened my steps toward the dressing room.
After I changed my clothes, I headed toward the bar. Everyone was there except Sage but I thought she left earlier. There was an invisible wall between her and everyone else. It wasn’t bad. It was mysterious and slightly intimidating.
“Guys, I’m leaving. See you tomorrow,” I yelled and they waved at me.
When Frank saw me he didn’t say anything to greet me, again. But he called Zac, nonetheless.
“Frankenstein,” I murmured when I stepped into the car and after some brief chat with Zac, I was finally at home.
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UNKNOWN
It was funny watching how anxious she was, standing in the darkness and searching her surrounding with those grey eyes. Like she could save herself in danger, like she would have a chance when I finally put my plan in action to catch her.
I will let her be until it’s the right time.
I’ll let her believe there was no danger for her.
Then, I am going to come for her.
And she wouldn’t be able to run even if she tried.
She wouldn’t know where I came from until it was too late.
And after that, nothing would matter anymore.
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Sitting on my bed after a shower I grabbed my journal. It felt heavy in my hand. My heart was beating faster after the night in the club. It felt like something had changed. I didn’t know why but in Will’s office I felt something dangerous. My mind was too tired to name my feelings. But I knew something about Will or his way of talking…or something…made me uneasy.
I shook my head to delay my thinking for tomorrow. Before I let my eyes close, I wrote:
Day 2- 14th October
I met everyone tonight, Angel.
I’m closer to find out what happened to you, now.
If you’re alive…Send me a sign. Help me, Angel.
Please, be alive.
I was sitting in Rosie’s home garden and sipping my tea when she brought the apple pie. The delicious apple and cinnamon scent gave me the feeling of being at home.
When I woke up this morning I didn’t want to be alone at home. I blamed my lack of sleep for the strange feeling inside me. It was a restless night. I kept waking up from my haunting sleep because of all the dreams in the dark places. All night my mind was jumping from dream to nightmare. When I opened my eyes I didn’t even take a shower, I just left my apartment to come to Rosie’s.
She had transformed her terrace to a garden. She had a green thumb and taught me a lot of things about gardening. Helping her to create this peaceful place from nothing was fun and therapeutic. Her garden silenced my mind and filled it with positive thoughts. So today, when I left my apartment in a bad mood I knew I would find peace here again.
“Dawn, you okay sweetie?” Rosie’s gentle voice brought me back from my thoughts.
“Oh, sorry. Yeah. Just distracted,” I said smiling.
She gave me my plate with a concerned look on her face.
“Distracted with what?” she asked.
“A lot of things…I couldn’t sleep well, yesterday,” I answered and started to eat delicious pie. Her pie was reminding me of my mom, my family. The good times…
“You have too much on your shoulders for a young age, honey. I’ve never asked you what the problem is and I’ll never ask. I can see it is important to you, but I can also see that this problem takes pieces from your soul, Dawn. Don’t let it,” she said wisely.
I felt tears started to fill my eyes but I forced myself to smile.
“The pie tastes great, Rosie. You should really teach me how to do this,” I said to change the topic and Rosie let me do that.
“Of course, sweetie. Anytime you want I can teach you and I’ll teach you my mother’s recipes if you want,” she said enthusiastically.
“Yes, I’d love to.”
Spending time with Rosie only did me good from the beginning.
“What about boys?” she asked and giggled like a schoolgirl. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Uggh…I have so many men around me but also none,” I said groaning and this time she laughed. God, I loved her laugh. Elegant, full of soul and experiences.
“You mean there is no one to catch your eyes?” she asked amused.
My mind suddenly went to the last night. Vincent Brothers…
“I know that look on your face, doll. I used to have the same look on me when I first met with Arthur. Who is that guy?” she said with a sad smile on her face. She’d lost her husband Arthur three years ago because of cancer and one year later she moved to this apartment almost the same time as I did. It was the same time I lost Angel and I thought we both helped each other.
“If I say there isn’t one but two, would you judge me?” I asked.
“Judge? Of course not. I’d only say that you’re lucky. Tell me! It’s been a long time since I had some girl talk,” she said. I laughed at her enthusiasm.
“Actually, there is nothing much to tell, but here is the big news—they are twins!” I said.
“Oh…Now that explains why there isn’t one. It must be hard to choose one. Go on!”
“I met them yesterday but Rosie, I’ve never felt this way before. They were alike but so different at the same time. One is cold, intense, and hard, and the other is warm, carefree, and easygoing. The two together are just perfect, just what I wanted all those years,” I said dreamily.
When I saw Rosie was watching me with careful concern on her face I knew I had said more than I intended.
“Too much information?” I asked smiling shyly.
“No. I was just thinking they must be something else if they made you feel those things just in one night,” she said. Actually I was also surprised how many little details I noticed about them.
“Yeah. I don’t want to think about them much but they keep popping in my mind. Oh, I almost forgot. They offered me a job as a model.”
“Did you accept?”
“I don’t know. I think I’m still considering.”
“I think you should accept the offer. You are so beautiful that your beauty should be appreciated and it can be fun. It will give you an excuse to spend more time with them,” she said and winked.
“I think you’re right. As always. I’ll consider in calling them,” I said and checked the time.
“Ah, Rosie I need to go. I’m almost late for my Krav Maga lesson,” I said and stood up.
“Okay, sweetie. Take care of yourself and be happy. I’m so happy you showed up at my door this morning.” She hugged me briefly.
“Thank you, Rosie. You always make me feel better. I’ll see you soon,” I said and started jogging toward the gym.
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When I came to the gym Gary was training someone else so I sat back and thought while watching his moves.
The club was giving me pretty much time to myself. No matter how different my reasons for the job, I was in need of money and the extra job would be great. Also, if the Vincent Brothers were VIP in the club they must have been around for a while. I might learn something from them. And as much as I didn’t want to admit it to myself, I wanted to spend time with them.
With this list…I made up my mind. I’d accept the offer to be a model for sensual photography.
Rehearsing for my show for hours left me breathless when I finally stopped.
Everyone seemed to be busy with some things. Harley, Arianna aka Salem and K were running around to get the club ready for tonig
ht. Channing was trying to explain some things to the new bartender. I couldn’t hear what he was explaining but I could see he was frustrated with the boy.
Will was giving out orders and making phone calls while sitting in the corner. He was winking at me then and there, which caused me to roll my eyes. Veronica aka Sage was lying on the table in the middle of the area and she was careless of what was going on around her.
Me?
I was sitting on the stage and watching everyone. I was thinking; someone I knew, someone who was here now might be the one I was looking for. Someone here might have some clues about Angel.
But who? How would I find a suspect in this place?
For one year I have been planning what I have to do but now, I could feel that it wouldn’t be as easy as I thought. No one was walking around wearing a neon sign that says “guilty” on their foreheads.
I didn’t even know everyone here. I knew only what they told me and with this realization I decided what I have to do. I was going to call Kevin, my friend in the police department, to ask for his help. I wouldn’t mind giving another blowjob if the information would help me.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
I jumped at the voice. Mike came to sit beside me without looking at me. When he sat on my left side I could see his scar openly.
“I wasn’t thinking actually. I was just watching everyone. It shows me how fast the world is, how little I am actually,” I said and he turned to watch me as I talked.
“Wow, deep thoughts there, girl!”
“Tell me about the accident,” I said before I could stop myself.
“Why do you ask?” he asked sharply, almost snapped at me. His carefree look changed something more dangerous almost violent.
“I lost my parents in an accident, Mike. I’m asking cause I’m sensitive about it.”
He frowned at my answer but his look softened and his jaw relaxed.
“Two years ago, in January, I was going to Portland. There was snow and I got hit by a truck,” he explained. His tone was so cold, like he wasn’t talking about himself.
“And that scar?”
“Glass of a window,” he answered shortly.
“Were you alone in the car?”
“Yeah. Just me and my old lady.”
“Old Lady?” I asked scared if there was any loss.
“My cherry 69 Chevrolet truck,” he chuckled and checked his watch.
“It’s almost time to open the doors. Go and get ready, cupcake. You did great, by the way,” he stood up and helped me to stand.
“Thank you, Mike,” I smiled and walked past him toward the backstage. I felt his gaze was following me with my every step. He was…strange. One minute I was thinking he was an asshole but the next minute I wasn’t so sure about what I was feeling.
Sage was in the room doing her make-up in her robe when I got there.
“Hi, Sage!” I greeted her smiling. She acknowledged me with a nod. I didn’t know why she wasn’t talking with me and actually, I didn’t know why I wanted to talk with her so much. She wasn’t much of a talker around the other girls either but something about her, the way she watched me made me feel like she knows more than she shows.
I wanted to say something, just to start a small talk with her, but didn’t know how to catch her attention and not to make myself look silly.
“Have you been working here long, Sage?” I asked and eyed my closet to find something to wear.
“Yes,” she answered and chose an outfit similar to yesterday. When she took off her robe, she stood naked in front of me in all her glory.
I didn’t know how to react. It wasn’t problem for me to see her naked but I was trying to give her some privacy. I turned my back to look into my closet again.
Hearing her exotic giggle, I turned around to face her.
“Are you really trying to not look at me?” she giggled again. Her giggle was like wine. Spicy, rich and intense.
“I didn’t know how you’d react. I was trying to give you privacy,” I said honestly and smiled.
“Privacy…privacy is inside your head, Violet. If you cannot realize this you’ll be damaged so much in this job,” she said slowly. Her eyes pinned me to the place.
I didn’t know how to respond this so my eyes scanned her outfit.
“You’re really killing that gypsy look. It looks so good,” I said as pointing to the outfit she put on the chair. I was trying to change the subject. But when my eyes focused on the tattoo on her stomach, I openly stared at her. It was too big to miss.
There was a little girl in a cage. She looked sad and scared. She was looking at a baby angel that was trying to rescue the little girl but I think she couldn’t. Next to that scene there was an apple tree and a woman who eats an apple. A long black snake that was surrounded by barbed wire was wrapped around her ankles. It looked dangerous, mysterious and so upsetting. Also, exotic and challenging. I was trying to understand why she had it done. Because she didn’t have another tattoo. In my mind, if she liked tattoos she would have another one. But no, there was only that one and I felt it was personal.
“I think you don’t care about privacy anymore, hmm?” she asked. Her voice was distant with pain. I knew, because I used that tone when I lost Angel.
“It’s personal, isn’t it?” I asked and pointed her tattoo.
“Yes…” she whispered. She looked so vulnerable I wanted to comfort her. I never thought I’d see her like this. I was curious what caused her that much pain but I kept my mouth closed.
It was awkward. She was naked and I was taking my clothes off. Yet, we were having a heart-to-heart, in a way.
“Which one I should choose?” I asked her too cheerfully and she smiled at me with gratitude.
“Those black leathers. You’d be good as biker girl,” she winked at me and put her clothes on. There was an awkward tension around the room, filled with silence. Sage and I kept ourselves busy with our clothes, so as not to go back the sensitive topic. I was itching to ask her story but I forced myself to behave.
I was grateful the sudden change in the room when the doors opened and Harley poked her head inside.
“Sage! You’ll be on stage in ten and you’re still half-naked,” she exclaimed.
“Calm down, girl! I’ll pull them off in a few minutes anyway. I’m sure they would like it.” Sage answered but quickened her movements.
Harley giggled and turned her gaze to me.
“Violet, you too, doll! You were here for a long while and both of you are half-naked. What were you guys doing in here, hmm?” she said and wiggled her eyebrows.
“Next time, you can join us,” I giggled.
“Harley, you’re a biker girl. How do I look?” I asked her and turning around myself to give her a better view.
“Okay…I would do you, girl. You look hot.”
“Sage! On the stage!” When we heard someone called out for Sage, she went out of the room in her cool attitude and I walked to do the final touches on my makeup. Harley sent me a flying kiss and ran away.
When I was alone in the room my mind went to Sage again. My curiosity was piqued but I was trying not to think about that since I had already had enough mystery on my plate. I would absolutely listen to her if she wanted to tell her story, but I wouldn’t make my mind busy with that.
After Sage, I took my place on the stage and danced without thinking about anything. I danced for myself only, and after the stage darkened I went to change.
Tonight the club was crowded like yesterday. I knew the girls would need help serving drinks, so I went to the bar without being asked.
“Hey, Channing! How is it going?” I asked and jumped on a barstool.
“Hey, hot biker.” Channing winked at me.
“Do you need any help?” I asked when Harley and Salem came to the bar.
“Can you help us with VIP again?” Salem asked but Harley had already given me her empty tray.
“Okay, boss,” I bumped my ass to hers a
nd walked to K for drinks.
Making the first round, my mind went to the Vincent brothers. In every booth, I was expecting to see them but they weren’t in the club. Even though I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, I tried my hardest to push that aside.
When the night was over, I was exhausted physically and mentally. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t help but search for the twins, every time as I climbed the stairs. Fighting with my own mind was exhausting and frustrating.
Even waiting for Zac to show up in the cold didn’t awaken my senses. I got in the car like a ghost and closed my eyes after greeting Zac with a tight smile. I woke up when someone gently shook me.
“Violet,” he called my name. Zac was looking at me with concern when I opened my eyes reluctantly.
“Oh, sorry, Zac. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I’m just so tired,” I murmured and tried to wake myself up.
“Who is Angel, Violet?” he whispered at me. His eyes were full of pity. But his question had an icy water effect on me.
“Wh-What?” I stuttered.
“You were talking in your sleep. Mostly crying and begging for Angel not to go, not to leave you. You asked to Angel where she was,” he answered.
I hate the pity in his eyes. I hated that he witnessed one of my nightmares. How could I be that weak? What if I had told him something about my plans?
“I- I don’t remember. I don’t know anyone called Angel,” I murmured. I hoped it was believable.
He looked at me like he was searching for an evidence of a lie on my face but sighed and let it go.
“Well…I’m relieved. I don’t like the idea of you suffering.”
“Thank you, Zac. Sorry I caused you trouble,” I said and got out of the car.
“Take care yourself, Violet.” Zac called out after me and I waved.
My heart was beating so fast when I got into my apartment. Feeling like I was caught while doing something I wasn’t supposed to do.
I was afraid of passing out any minute. There was too much tension in my body. Every second of the day I was having theories about everyone in my mind. I would go nuts with this paranoia but there was no way to stop it.
I needed to talk to someone. Not someone…to talk with Angel.