by T. A. White
He let her see inside him, dropping all pretense and masks. He really did hate her. There was loathing in his eyes. She didn't let him see how much that glimpse affected her, locking her feelings away to be examined at another time. If she'd ever thought they might forgive her, that naivety was gone now, washed away by the deep currents of loathing buffeting her.
It was easy to see Jace agreed. He didn't take Raider to task for speaking that way to a commanding officer or warn him to keep his mouth shut. No, he let Raider say his piece, even as he helped Kira stretch, keeping his movements gentle but firm.
She glanced up at him and almost wished she hadn't. His face was blank and emotionless, as if he wasn't even there.
Raider didn't say anything else, standing and walking away. Jace finished with her left leg in the next second.
"Think about it," he said, before following Raider.
Jin's engines hummed as he edged near to where Kira sat for long minutes after they'd left, feeling like they'd gut-punched her instead of simply revealed their true emotions.
"Kira, don't listen to them," he said softly. "They don't know the whole truth."
"And we're going to keep it that way," she said.
Because as hard as it was to admit, both men had a reason to feel the way they did. In their eyes, she was the one responsible for the nuke that killed their entire team when a mission went sideways. She was the one who'd murdered them even if it was to prevent millions of deaths.
To their eyes, it wasn't a fair trade. Most days, she agreed.
She was both hero and villain. It hadn't escaped her the edge of hero worship on the new members of the Curs, or how that worship had faded in the weeks while on the ship. Humans both loved and hated their heroes. They liked nothing better than to watch them fall from grace. Her actions might have been the catalyst that brought about the end to the war, but they'd caused a lot of deaths as well. Not everyone agreed with her methods.
Baran had straightened when Jace and Raider approached. After they left, he looked even less happy. She got the sense he and the rest of the Tuann didn't want the humans anywhere near her.
As Graydon approached, Kira fought a sense of frustration. She wasn't in the mood for another confrontation. Energy licked along her skin, the run not nearly enough to exorcize it from her system.
Her skin itched with the need for a fight. If Graydon pressed her, she was very much afraid she'd give him that fight.
He loomed over her, his size impressive and no less intimidating for the storm taking place behind his eyes. She had to lean back slightly and tilt her head to be able to see his face. The Tuann were tall, all of them. It made her wonder why she was so much shorter.
She wasn't small, especially by human standards. At five-feet-seven with an athletic build, she'd never felt short until now.
"Your run wasn't enough. You have too much energy built up," he said abruptly.
Kira blinked as she remained still. He wasn't wrong, but she was surprised he could tell. Her run had been half the length as normal, and the confrontation with Jace and Raider had ramped up her energy levels even more.
It would only be a matter of time before it boiled over, leaving her with the option to fight or fuck. It'd taken a long time before she could figure out why she sometimes felt like she'd downed a lightning bolt, her energy welling up out of nowhere. To drain it off, she had to exhaust herself unless she could find something or someone to take it out on.
Given the way he spoke, she had to wonder if this was a trait of the Tuann and not just an oddity of hers.
"We have the simulations for a reason," he said, his expression reserved. "Has no one shown them to you?"
He didn't glance at her guards or look away. He knew the answer. He was waiting for her to admit it.
"I prefer running."
"It is not enough," he said again.
She lifted an eyebrow in lazy amusement. He knew that from the considerable time they'd spent together, did he?
"I disagree."
He bared his teeth in a threatening smile. "Come, you look in need of activity before you wisp away into nothing."
He didn't wait for her agreement, his powerful strides taking him to one of the simulators. Kira glared after him, the audacity of the order rubbing her the wrong way. She didn't have to follow. There was nothing stopping her from turning around and leaving while his back was turned. Somehow, she doubted Graydon was the type to chase her around the ship when thwarted.
"Graydon is not the patient sort," Baran said.
"Yes, the last person came to regret annoying him after Graydon suspended him from the ceiling for three days," Amila added.
Neither guard's expressions changed from the bland mask they typically wore. It was hard to tell if they were joking or not.
Kira leveraged herself up and followed Graydon to one of the simulators, stopping outside the clear boundary marking its territory.
Graydon stood off to the side, swiping through simulations, his forehead creased in thought.
Jin settled in his customary place right over her shoulder. "This should be interesting."
"I'm glad you think so," Kira muttered.
He snickered. "At least there is little chance of you destroying anything this way."
"I don't destroy things," she hissed, feeling off-balance and conspicuous as Graydon's warriors drifted over.
Their interest was clear as they jostled each other and whispered as they looked her over.
"They're like giant kids," Jin observed.
"The kind who can rip your arm off and beat you with it," Kira returned, glaring at the warriors. They seemed to think that was funny. The tallest one smothered a smile as he dipped his head.
It wasn't the reaction Kira was used to. Most humans had heard of her and her reputation. When she glared, they usually ran. Those who didn't, often lacked sufficient brain cells.
"The Wanderer," Jin said.
The words came out of nowhere and Kira frowned at him in confusion.
"The Wanderer, the latest thing you destroyed. I have other examples, but it looks like the mountain is ready for you," Jin said in a lofty voice.
Sure enough, Graydon had finished and was now regarding the two of them with an interested expression.
Graydon crossed his arms, the muscles in his arms and chest bulging as he gave her a smile full of challenge, the smug conviction he'd already won in his expression. "Perhaps you can demonstrate to Joule just where he's gone wrong."
So, he'd heard that. Their senses were better than she thought. Probably better than hers.
A disquieting thought occurred to her. If he'd heard what she said to Joule, he'd probably heard the exchange between her, Jace and Raider. Not ideal but good to know.
Kira hesitated to step into the simulator, aware of how she was now the center of attention in the gym. Jace and the Curs remained in their corner, but they made no secret of their interest. Even the children had taken a break from their activities.
Kira's shoulders slumped as she fought the urge to bang her head against the nearest hard surface. She'd never particularly enjoyed having all eyes on her, and it was more irritating now, when she wanted to avoid all attention.
Worse, any thought of letting herself get knocked out in the first few seconds went out the window.
She couldn't afford to be seen as entirely weak. The Tuann were much like predators. If they sensed any weakness, they'd run right over her—for her own good of course.
No, if she wanted to meet these people on an even playing field, she needed to be strong enough to protect herself, without becoming a threat or a treasure they wished to acquire.
Just because they weren't from her House didn't mean they lacked the potential to delay her goal. Every Tuann on this ship would carry stories of the lost child home with them. Appear too weak and others might seek to take advantage, appear too strong and any hope of them underestimating her disappeared.
It put her in a t
ricky spot.
Reluctantly, she moved past Graydon, a shiver of sensation rocking her as her shoulder brushed his. For whatever reason, she was intensely aware of him as a man. Galling, considering he saw her as one step up from a child.
She padded over to the mat marking the edge of the simulator's domain and waited, forgetting the rest of the gym as she focused on the coming fight.
There was a soft thrum, the faintest snap of electricity as the simulation began. From the floor, a being started to form.
Kira tensed. What surprise had Graydon picked out for this little excursion? He had something up his sleeve, there'd been too much arrogance in his expression to assume otherwise.
"Well, shit," she said, her hope this would be easy, disappearing.
She wasn't the only one to have an immediate reaction to the creature. Jin let out a low whistle as alarmed exclamations came from those humans in the room.
Those who'd fought in the war would recognize what she was up against. A Tsavitee war drone, class two, its intelligent eyes locking on her as its cry pierced the air in a sound that chilled her straight to the bone.
CHAPTER EIGHT
That oversized bastard had really gone all out, Kira thought grimly. He couldn't have picked anything simple. No, he'd gone straight for the throat, choosing an opponent he knew would pull a visceral reaction from every human in the room.
She didn't dare turn her attention from the war drone, knowing if she did, it would tear her apart. In a different time, with different people, she might have settled for giving Graydon several choice gestures that perfectly articulated how she felt about this situation.
Since she was supposed to be currying favor, she settled for a soft angry sound as she visualized all the things she'd like to do with the arrogant Tuann if given half the chance. Throttling him featured heavily in her schemes.
The war drone, like some of the Tsavitee lower forms, was digitigrade, meaning it walked on its toes rather than its heels, giving the appearance of knees bending backward.
Taller than Kira by several feet, the war drone was built like a wall. An angry, vicious wall. Its entire purpose lay in its ability to pierce the enemy's lines while the smaller Tsavitee swarmed behind it.
The longer arms made it seem almost ape-like. It lacked fur, its skin a dark blue with smaller rosettes on its arms and shoulders. Horns curled up from its head and it had long lower canines denting the top of its lip.
As much as Kira hated to admit it, Graydon had made a good choice when selecting this opponent. Its larger size meant Kira would be on unequal footing, given she was smaller and physically weaker than her opponent.
Bringing it down would take work. Once it was done, neither Joule or any other would be able to claim she had the advantage of size.
That's if she could bring it down.
She had to wonder what Graydon had been thinking in setting this up. While she could take the drone down—as could every member of the Curs—most wouldn't be able to. He couldn't know for sure her history, which meant this was either a test or he was making a point. To her, or Joule was the question.
"Would you like a ratan?" Graydon asked with smug politeness.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw him lift a long staff, much like Joule's. She shook her head. While the staff would increase her reach, she had never liked fighting with one. Its shape had never felt natural to her.
She much preferred the energy edged swords adapted from the katanas of ancient Japan.
Besides, this lesson worked best when no weapon was used at all.
He lowered the ratan, a small twist to his lips saying her choice amused him. So glad she could provide entertainment for him and his warriors.
Kira's breath deepened as she watched her opponent. She didn't move as she studied the drone. They'd caught its essence perfectly.
Still, it wasn't real. That intelligence in its eyes was an illusion—a program designed to react to certain preset conditions.
Maybe it was a little more advanced than any simulation she'd ever seen, but it was still a simulation. Fake.
At least Graydon had chosen one of the lower classes. If she’d faced a wraith or lizard, she'd be a little more worried.
The Tsavitee struck, its powerful legs helping it clear the space between them in the blink of an eye. Kira dropped, rolling under it and regaining her feet, her posture defensive.
It was quick, startling so. Kira circled away from it, feeling warier than she had moments before.
The Tsavitee straightened, its back facing her as its head turned toward her, rotating almost ninety degrees.
The sight chilled Kira, the gesture so similar to a real Tsavitee drone. It was like looking through a time machine, everything that had once given her nightmares made suddenly, breathtakingly, real. Abruptly, Kira remembered what it was like to be hunted, to have adrenaline flood your system as every one of your senses revved into overdrive as danger stalked your every move.
The Tsavitee’s body turned as it lowered its head, the horns pointed at her like a ram's. It charged. Kira slid to the right, narrowly missing being impaled. If he'd struck her, it would have been like being hit by a car going thirty-five miles an hour. In real life, she would have ended up with broken bones—if she was lucky—and liquefied organs if she wasn't.
She circled the Tsavitee, getting distance. She forgot about the people watching, forgot why she needed to keep her skills under wrap. All she knew was survival and ensuring the enemy didn't live long enough to come after her again.
She hopped back, her head up as the Tsavitee charged again. This time she was ready.
She stepped out of the way, turning with the drone as she reached out and grabbed a horn. She pulled toward her right as she stepped into his charge, using her hip as a fulcrum as she yanked him off his feet. He hit the ground head first.
There was an audible crack as his neck snapped. The Tsavitee went limp, its limbs twitching.
Slowly, he began to dissolve as Kira stared at him with a sinking sense of dread. Crap. She'd meant to drag that out for a lot longer. Maybe let him do a little bit of damage first.
She'd forgotten herself in the incredible realism. It had thrown her back in time to when the stakes in such a battle was your life, and you didn't screw around with fancy moves.
Graydon's eyes met hers, his expression enigmatic and his eyes dark. He gave her a small nod of respect. It was a sentiment reflected on many of his warriors' faces, some slightly disbelieving as they stared at the spot where the drone had been.
Kira controlled her pulse as she made her way to the edge of the simulator. Unease moved through her as she realized every person in the gym had watched the match. Jace and Raider's faces were blank, but the rest of the Curs looked awestruck. Nova seemed shocked. Maverick was a little harder to read as he stared at the empty floor.
She ducked her head and looked away. Joule's mouth was slightly open and there was a stunned look in his eyes. Ziva was the opposite. She stared up at Kira like she was a goddess come to rescue them, hope lighting up her face.
Kira strode away as fast as she could without running. Ziva was going to have to look elsewhere for a role model. She'd gotten out of the business of hope a long time ago.
*
The fight with the Tsavitee had quelled some of the restless energy plaguing Kira since boarding the ship, but she still hadn't found her calm by the time she reached her deck.
Instead of returning to her room, she bypassed it in favor of heading toward the conservatory, her two unwelcome guides trailing behind her.
Kira had spent much of her life in the cold ships of space, but she remembered the comforting smells of dirt and growing things. She'd taken the name Forrest not just because Himoto had discovered her in one, but because there was something special about walking among trees hundreds of years older than her. Their presence spoke to her soul.
It was the same feeling she got while walking on the meandering paths in this
conservatory. The room itself was as big as the gym, though its exact dimensions were hard to determine given the way the vegetation blocked the sight lines, giving people the impression it was much larger than it was.
Every plant here was both strange and familiar. She didn't have names for any of them, but they were comforting in a way she couldn’t explain.
Kira's pace was fast as she moved along the paths. Several minutes passed before she slowed from a near run to a slow walk, her breathing deepening as the peace of this place invaded her. She found a spot of grass and settled back, looking up at the thick windows and the darkness of space above dotted with its blanket of glitter.
Her hands shook and her stomach had giant balls of snakes in it from the aftermath of the simulation. She thought she was doing better. Perhaps not, if one lackluster battle was enough to engender this reaction.
Jin meandered through the branches, humming softly to himself. He knew she wanted privacy and he was smart enough to give it to her.
She filled her lungs before releasing it slowly. Things could be worse. Yes, she hadn't meant to tip her hand quite so thoroughly, but she'd managed to keep from using the power hiding at her core. That was something at least. Small wins and all that.
There was a soft sound from the path, alerting her to the fact she was no longer alone. She groaned internally, lifting her head.
Graydon's imposing form pushed through the branches. Somehow, she never got used to his size or the almost cruel beauty of his face. The words on her lips died. She sat up, not liking the thought of being in such a vulnerable position with him looming above her.
"You don't have any more Tsavitee simulations waiting to attack, do you?" Kira asked, her voice dry.
A soft snort escaped him as he settled beside her.
"No, I think you've surprised me enough for one day," Graydon said. "I hadn't expected your skills to be quite so impressive."
Kira ran her fingers along a blade of grass, feeling the life and vitality in it as she thought over what he'd said. She didn't know whether she believed him. If he was surprised, it meant he'd set up that test knowing she'd be humiliated and left with several bruises by the end.