by T. A. White
Demands and angry recriminations were more likely to make her retreat further.
Kira waited patiently, crouching so she was eye level with Ziva.
"Stop stalling," Joule said impatiently.
Kira held up a hand, motioning for silence. She waited until Ziva looked up at her, the expression in her clear blue eyes trying to tug at Kira's heart.
Kira lips curled in a small smile. Ziva would have to work harder than that to get the sympathy vote from her.
Kira lifted her eyebrow's expectantly. "Well?"
"They said we were mutts," Ziva muttered. "And that we should be grateful for what we were given and not get uppity."
"And?" Kira asked.
Ziva shrugged. "And I challenged them to a duel."
Kira glanced up at Graydon, asking silently if this was normal protocol for children.
"As long as no one is injured permanently and there is no danger of death, an adult will not step in. We believe children should learn from their own experiences rather than being told what to do."
Kira tried not to let her surprised consternation show. She turned to Ziva. "What happened then?"
"I lost." Ziva's eyes flashed up to meet Kira's.
Kira nodded, considering and discarding several responses. "Well, that was dumb."
Mutiny flashed across Ziva's face, her tiny body bunching as if she would leap for Kira's face. "It was not," she shouted. "I defended my family's honor."
"Did you?" Kira asked. "Seems to me like you took exception with what someone said and then lost a challenge you issued. You look twice as stupid now."
Kira straightened, dusting imaginary dirt off her pants.
"I am not," Ziva shouted, her eyes pooling with tears and her lower lip beginning to tremble. "I was winning but then his friend threw a rock."
"The weak tend to travel in packs," Kira agreed. "But you showed stupidity too. Picking the time and place for a fight is as important as training for it. You chose a time where he was at his strongest, surrounded by allies. Now he knows your weaknesses and he will come for you again."
Bullies always did. They couldn't help themselves. They now knew what set Ziva off and they'd use the leverage whenever they wanted a boost for their confidence.
Graydon crossed his massive arms and looked at the child. "Better yet, you should have avoided fighting someone stronger than yourself."
"She didn't," Ziva said, pointing at Kira and her assortment of bruises.
"I'm a horrible role model," Kira said lightly. "You shouldn't base any of your actions off me."
She cocked her head. She needed to give the kid something to hold onto. "I'll tell you this much. I didn't go looking for the fight that gave me these. Also, if it’d been my family he insulted, I wouldn't have attacked him. I would have waited until he was alone and vulnerable, and then crushed him so utterly he would never have dared show his face in front of me again."
Ziva looked up at her, her eyes wide as she dipped her chin in grave understanding.
A small sound from the door leading into the Citadel drew their notice. Ayela stood there, her expression slightly incredulous after listening to Kira's advice. Her honey-colored hair was bound in an undone braid that showed her pointed ears.
"Excuse me," Ayela said diffidently, her eyes darting nervously to Graydon. "I'm here for the young ones."
Ziva stiffened, moving closer to Kira's legs, one small hand reaching out to clutch at her pants.
"You were at the airfield when I arrived," Kira said, remembering. She also thought she'd seen her in the audience at the obstacle course.
"Yes, since I am not a warrior or artisan and possess no specialized skill set, my duties vary depending on need," Ayela said.
Kira nodded slowly. "I'll take responsibility for them and see them to the nursery when we're done."
Ziva's hand relaxed slightly.
"Pardon me, but I would be in trouble for letting them wander off," Ayela said. Her tone diffident even as her words challenged.
Graydon shifted next to her, his expression remote. "You may trust they will not come to harm in our care."
Ayela opened her mouth again then closed it, finally bowing and backing away, but not before Kira noted the small flash of anger.
"There is something off about that woman," Kira said once she was gone, staring at the door she'd disappeared through.
"There is something off about a lot of this place," Graydon said seriously. "It's becoming hard to distinguish between what is truth and paranoia."
Kira made a small sound of agreement.
She turned to the two she'd saddled herself with. Someday she'd learn not to take on more responsibility. Today was not that day.
"I guess you two will get your way. I'll show you a few moves before dinner time," she said.
The two let out twin cheers.
Kira glanced at Graydon. "Call your minions from their hiding spots. They can be useful and act as punching dummies."
Graydon's expression was inscrutable as he held her gaze. After a long moment, he gave a nod.
Two of his soldiers materialized in the middle of the courtyard as if stepping out of thin air. One second she and Graydon were alone with the children, and then suddenly they weren’t.
Handy trick that. She’d give her left arm to learn it.
Kira watched them, not particularly surprised at their presence. Given Graydon's insistence she be accompanied by Finn at all times, she'd assumed they’d be around somewhere, hidden but close, in case of need.
"I thought so," she said. They were good. She'd barely detected their presence and she knew the woman hadn't.
Nor had the children, if their wide eyes and exclamations of surprise were anything to go by.
Kira clapped her hands. "Alright, let's get started."
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The afternoon was surprisingly pleasant as Kira ran the two through a set of drills to discover what they already knew and what they thought they knew but had applied incorrectly.
Their base was good. Much better than Kira would have assumed given their ages.
She straightened from where she'd been showing Joule how to set his feet, as Finn strode out of one of the alcoves leading to the Citadel, his expression thunderous.
"Where have you been?" he spat.
She cocked her head. "Around."
"I left to sleep for two hours and you were gone when I returned," he ground out. If he'd been a dog, his ears would have been pinned against his skull and his teeth bared.
"You've found me now," Kira said.
"Several hours later. Do you know what could happen to you?" he said.
"No, but I have a feeling you're going to tell me," she said.
"You could have been kidnapped. Not to mention killed ten times over in the time you've been wandering around unprotected," he spat. "How would you feel if someone tortured you for that length of time? I promise you a minute can feel like hours if the right technique is applied."
"Sounds awful," Kira observed. "Perhaps you could demonstrate one of these methods. For educational purposes, of course."
Finn blinked at her, obviously wrestling with a desire to strangle her that was in direct contrast to his duty. He slowly started shaking his head and then kept shaking it, physically taking two steps back as he looked around the impromptu training yard.
Graydon's minions looked sympathetic to his plight, their lips twitching.
"You're a menace," Finn told her.
Kira nodded. "So I've been told."
She'd never let that stop her before. She didn't see why she'd change now.
Finn cast a look at Graydon who shrugged his massive shoulders and smirked, as if to say what did you expect.
Finn noticed the children as they performed their drills at a pace three times slower than normal. Their movements were simple, the kind of thing even beginners could do. Both had protested they were past this stage, but Kira had insisted.
Th
e complicated maneuvers had their place, but without a firm foundation in the basics, they would face problems later. Kira was a firm believer that sometimes the simplest methods were the most effective. The rest was improvisation and adapting to the changing dynamics of the situation.
"What are they doing?" he asked with a scowl.
"Practicing," Kira said succinctly.
"Practicing for what?"
"The shitstorm that is life."
He narrowed his eyes and sent an expectant look Graydon's way. "You approved this?"
Graydon nodded, giving Kira a sidelong look filled with speculation. "She presented a very good case."
"You going to help or not?" she challenged.
He shook his head, his expression inscrutable as he moved toward the two children. He stopped Ziva and corrected her form before prowling toward Joule to do the same. Both children brightened at his presence, their faces turning worshipful as they hadn't when Kira had done the same.
"That's a surprise," Graydon murmured.
"What is?"
"He approves." Graydon turned to face her, a glimmer of admiration in his intelligent eyes. "As do I."
There was a sharp stab of pleasure at his words, surprising Kira. Such a simple statement shouldn't have been enough to unbalance her to this extent, even as she found herself craving more.
She shook off the feelings. She wasn't here to care what Graydon thought of her or her actions. She had more important things to consider, a long overdue mission deserving completion.
She couldn't afford to be tempted by emotion, even if the seriously sexy packaging made her want to spend hours exploring the hard planes and grooves of his body.
He didn't say anything else, moving past her to help Finn as they both worked to guide the kids through the moves, showing them easy modifications when Ziva and Joule struggled.
The children were like flowers in their care, blossoming under the men's instruction.
Kira stayed in the background, her smile dying as loneliness surged up to grab hold. As much fun as flirting with Graydon was or watching the kids come into their own, this was temporary, she reminded herself.
Soon she'd return to her ship and its isolation. Once she might have welcomed the reprieve it offered; now she found herself hesitating as Graydon, Finn, and the Curs made her crave things she hadn't allowed herself to think about in many years.
"There's to be a formal welcome ceremony tomorrow evening," Finn announced, glancing her way. "All of your attendance is mandatory."
The tangent was enough to pull Kira from her melancholy thoughts.
Joule and Ziva paused, looking at each other with guarded expressions, their earlier levity disappearing.
"How big a ceremony are we talking?" Kira asked.
"All of the Overlord's council and most of the Citadel will be there," Finn said. "The three of you will be given the first test of the House and then they will hold a celebration."
Kira nodded. A big party where most of the populace of the Citadel would be distracted. Good. She could work with that.
"I assume you're bringing this up for a reason." Kira arched an eyebrow in expectation.
Graydon answered for him. "You need to learn proper etiquette. Luatha is an old House, and for this occasion they will be scrupulous in making sure the niceties are observed. Creating a good impression will only serve to help you."
Kira pulled a face. The prospect didn't thrill her but she understood his reasoning. "Fine, what do I need to know."
His smile was slow in dawning. "So very much."
*
Kira contained a wince as sore muscles protested. Evidently practicing bows and other forms of greetings used unexpected muscles, and they were not happy.
Graydon had proved a surprisingly effective, though merciless, teacher. He seemed to take a sick pleasure in snapping out instruction after instruction and then pointing out all the ways she'd gone wrong.
Tuann society was filled with nuances wrapped in nuances, and then tied with a bow of more nuances. It was enough to give Kira a headache.
Governed by tradition and rules, their restrictions were meant to clearly outline expectations of personal conduct. Since duels and personal combat were an accepted form of settling grievances, she’d learned it was important to guard your interactions to prevent inadvertent offense.
No, when they planned to kill each other, they wanted it to be because they were good and infuriated with their opponent.
All this served to make Kira's head hurt by the end. She barely understood human social behavior. She had no idea how she was going to make it through this ceremony without offending everyone present.
Kira groaned just thinking about it.
"Cheer up, Nixxy," Jin said. "At least Graydon said you couldn't be challenged until after the adva ka."
"No, he said I couldn't be challenged by another adult. Other children or those who haven't passed the adva ka are fine," Kira corrected.
Jin made an amused sound, knowing Kira would have difficulty if someone Joule's age tried to challenge her.
"You haven't called me Nixxy in a long time," Kira said, looking up at him.
She stood on the terrace off the suite Graydon and his people had procured. In the dark, Jin nearly blended in with the night, only the odd flicker of light reflecting off his metal body.
"You left Phoenix behind when you made the Wanderer your home," he said.
She had. She'd tried to bury the parts of her that had made the Phoenix such an effective weapon.
"You sound like you miss her," Kira said, feeling vulnerable. When she'd chosen not to return to the Curs, she'd never considered how Jin might feel, taking his presence for granted. He was the one constant in her life.
Perhaps she should have made more of an effort to figure out what he wanted.
"I do sometimes," he admitted. Seeing her expression fall, he rushed to add, "I know why you left her behind. You had to keep your promise to Elise. You had to."
She nodded. Yes, she had, but perhaps she could have found a better way.
"That life was killing you, slowly but surely. Everyone could see it," he told her. "They might not have wanted to admit it, even to themselves, but they did."
By the end of the war, she was a walking shell of her former self. Her light and humor gone, leaving nothing behind but a vicious animal—dangerous to everyone, including herself.
Elise had been a Cur, her best friend, her sister, and the woman Raider loved more than life itself. Before she'd gone, she'd made Kira promise to survive, to live for all those who hadn't.
So, Kira had, even when some days it felt like she was abrading her skin with volcanic ash as she struggled through one hour after another.
Eventually, it got easier. She started to feel again. She reclaimed the tiny bits of herself she'd lost. It hadn't been easy, but she'd never stopped pushing forward.
Being around Raider and Jace and the new Curs, she found herself asking if she'd done the right thing. Maybe there had been a way for both sides of her to survive.
She didn't know.
The Phoenix had been glaringly bright, a shining beacon whose light attracted everyone to her until it flickered and went out.
Kira knew the Phoenix was her, but some days she couldn't even remember what it felt like to be that person.
"She's not dead, you know," Jin said. "I've seen echoes of her through the years. Here, I've seen more of her than I have in a long time."
Kira didn't move, turning his words over before tucking them away for consideration at another time.
"Tell me what you found," she said.
"The Curs are safe. Angry, but unharmed," he said. "Raider was talking about staging a breakout. Jace talked him out of it."
"Where does he think he'll go?" Kira asked. "It's not like the Tuann will let them take one of their ships."
"It seems your commander was right. There is a ship waiting outside Tuann space. I suppose Raider thinks
a drop ship might be capable of slipping through the defense net."
Not unless the Consortium had extremely advanced technology Kira didn't know about. A waveboard might work, but you could only carry one person at a time on those and there'd be no way to get enough waveboards to the surface of the planet without risking detection.
"Anything else?" Kira asked, knowing there was more.
"The Nexus is the one place in the Citadel with the starmaps."
"Can we get in?"
"It'll be difficult."
"But not impossible?"
He hesitated. "I'm not sure the risk would be worth the reward."
Kira nodded. She understood his reservations. If she were caught trying to infiltrate that area, or worse, stealing the data inside, she would likely be treated as a traitor. Any protection that came from being one of their lost children would disappear. They'd take it as evidence of human subterfuge and likely kill the rest before ending the alliance.
No pressure or anything.
Her head tilted as she squeezed the railing in front of her. She'd waited too long to give up now. Those starmaps could be the answer to everything.
"I'll be careful," she promised.
Jin was quiet, his silence carrying weight to it. "Perhaps it's time to let this go. It's been long enough."
"No, I won't do that," Kira said forcefully. "I can't. You know why."
Jin's sigh was sad. "You know they wouldn't want this. They'd want you to move on with your life."
"Maybe, but I can't give up," Kira said. "Just like you wouldn’t if the situation was reversed."
Jin made a soft sound.
"What about Tsavitee presence?" Kira asked.
His silence this time was filled with stubbornness, but eventually he gave in. He'd try again at a more opportune time, Kira knew. Her friend had her best interests at heart. It was too bad she couldn't listen.
"You were right. Signs of their influence are all over the place if you know where to look."
"Anything to be concerned about?"
"From your description of your attack and my own readings, I’d say there’s at least one telepath among their number," Jin said.