by Ginna Gray
Alissa chuckled. "Ah, well, you can't go by Jack. You know what a flirt he is. A woman would have to be a fool to take him seriously."
"Mmm… Maybe. But that doesn't answer my question."
Alissa shrugged and ran the tip of her finger around the rim of her coffee cup, not meeting Dirk's eyes. "I don't know. Lack of interest, partly, I suppose. That, and fear."
"Fear? Explain."
Alissa glanced up, and a weak smile fluttered around her mouth. "You have to understand. Tom and I were high school sweethearts. We started dating when we were both barely seventeen—just kids, really—and I haven't been out with anyone else since then. We married during our first year in college. I guess you can say that I've never really been on a date with a man before. When you start at my age, the prospect is intimidating."
"I see. I'm surprised you said yes to me."
This time her smile was wry. "As I recall, you bullied me into it."
"Hmm. I guess you're right." He took another sip of coffee. "Are you sorry I did?" he asked, watching her over the rim of his cup.
Alissa looked up, straight into those intense silvery eyes. She swallowed hard. The air between them suddenly seemed charged with electricity. "No," she said softly, still holding his gaze. "I'm not sorry."
Dirk merely look at her. His expression did not change, except for a slight widening of his eyes. "Good," he said after an interminable time.
"Your marriage must have been a good one to have lasted so long. As a rule, young marriages don't have a very high success rate."
"Yes. It was a very good marriage."
Dirk was immediately sorry he had asked the question. When she replied, Alissa's face had softened and her eyes had taken on a loving glow that set his teeth on edge. It hadn't been his intention to remind her of how much she loved her dead husband. Nice going, Matheson.
"I seem to recall hearing that you dropped out of college and came to work for the company to put your husband through school. Is that right?"
"Yes. My mother died when I was seventeen. Then, during my second year in college, my father passed away, too. By the time my brothers and sister and I settled his estate, there was only enough money left for me to go to school for one more year.
"Tom was planning to be a dentist, which meant years of study. Since his folks were stretching to pay for his education, we decided that the best thing would be for us to get married, and I would drop out of school and go to work to support us until he graduated. Then, once he got his practice started, we planned for me to go back to school."
"But you continued to work even after he opened his office."
"Yes, well, starting up a practice is horribly expensive. We had to take out loans to purchase all the equipment and lease an office. By the time we had finally paid them off, I had been with the company for so long it seemed silly to quit. Especially since we had no children."
Dirk tensed, but his expression remained impassive. "Was that by choice?"
"Oh, no. I wanted— We both wanted children. We wanted children very much. But it never happened for us."
"Did you ever consider adoption?"
Alissa gazed at the flickering candle flame, her face pensive. "Not really. Tom in particular wanted our own children. Besides, there aren't that many babies available for adoption these days. Finally, we had to accept that we were never going to be parents."
"That must have been tough."
"Yes. Yes, it was. But we came to terms with it eventually."
Dirk studied her in silence. When he spoke again, he deftly changed the subject.
They discussed movies and books and their favorite restaurants. Alissa told him about the cruise she had taken on her last vacation, and Dirk described visiting the Colosseum in Rome while he was there on a business trip, and what a moving experience it had been.
At one point, when the combo returned from a break, he looked at her with a twinkle in his eyes and said, "Would you like to dance? I promise I won't kiss you this time."
Alissa laughed and accepted, but as he held out her chair for her, he leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Unless, of course, you want me to."
She blushed, but she laughed again. "Thanks, but I think I'll pass," Her eyes sparkled up at him beguilingly as they headed for the dance floor, and Dirk experienced a rush of desire so strong he had to restrain himself from tossing her over his shoulder and heading for the nearest bed.
They danced two numbers without saying a word. This time, Alissa didn't resist when he pulled her close. There was an unreal quality to the evening. As they moved to the music, she felt as though she were in a dream, except that her heart was pounding like a kettledrum.
By the time the second dance ended, both of Dirk's arms were around Alissa's waist. Her cheek lay against his chest, his jaw against her temple. When he released her, their eyes met and held for several seconds. Then, without a word, he led her to the table, where she picked up her purse, and with his hand on her elbow he guided her toward the exit.
They barely exchanged a dozen words on the drive home. Stopping the car in her driveway, he killed the engine and doused the lights, but neither of them made a move to get out. Moonlight illuminated the interior of the car with a glow that gave the silver at his temples a bluish cast but washed out every other trace of color. Even the honey gold of her hair was reduced to a pale sheen.
Dirk turned sideways and looked at her. She was a slender, delicately built woman, with small bones and finely molded features. In the moonglow, she looked almost ethereal, like some mystical creature.
He reached out and took her hand. For a moment, he simply held it, rubbing his thumb back and forth across the delicate bones and fine skin. "I enjoyed tonight," he said.
"So did I," she replied, her soft voice barely a whisper in the darkness.
She had more than enjoyed it. The evening had been wonderful on many different levels. It seemed like forever since she'd been alone with a man socially. She hadn't realized how lonely she had been.
Dirk excited her as no man ever had, but the attraction she felt for him was not merely physical. He was also an interesting and stimulating companion. It had been a treat to merely enjoy his company and talk the evening away.
"Enough, I hope, to do this again. I want to see you, Alissa, if you'll let me." He looked at her intently through the moonlight, and she felt a flutter in the pit of her stomach. "I have a feeling that you and I could have something special together. Will you give us a chance?"
Alissa gazed into those silvery eyes, her heart pounding like a wild thing in her chest. There were so many reasons why she should say no. That had been her intention. Before he returned to pick her up, she had decided that this evening would be a onetime happening. It was the wisest thing by far, she knew. She wasn't cut out for an affair, and Dirk wasn't the marrying kind.
He was also too dynamic for her, too sophisticated. Plus, they worked together; a relationship between them would be too awkward. Especially when it ended. It wouldn't be a matter of if, but of when, and she had no doubt that she would be the one left with a broken heart. She was halfway in love with the man already.
She looked at him, torn between common sense and desire. If she had any sense at all, she would end this now, before it was too late. The denial hovered on her tongue, but when she opened her mouth, what came out was a soft "All right."
He smiled and gave her hand a squeeze.
He walked her to her front door. Alissa unlocked and opened it, reaching inside to flick on the light before she turned to Dirk again. Her smile was weak; she hated for the evening to end.
"I had a lovely time," she said softly.
"Good. I enjoyed it, too."
"Well … good night."
"Good night." But he made no move to leave. Instead, he stood on her porch, solemnly regarding her. The night was raw, and their breath made puffy clouds of vapor that billowed between them in the frosty air.
He raised his hand and ran th
e back of his knuckles along her jawline, then touched his thumb to her bottom lip, his eyes smoldering as he watched the action.
Her mouth trembled, and something leaped in those silvery depths—something dark and virile. A delicious shiver feathered down Alissa's spine. She stared up at him, her blue eyes wide and filled with excitement.
His hand slipped around her neck, beneath the fall of silky, honey-colored hair, and cupped her nape. He leaned toward her. Beneath half-closed eyelids, his eyes glittered as they focused on her mouth.
Alissa went weak. He was going to kiss her again. Anticipation cut off her breath. For a moment, she wasn't sure if her legs would hold her as fevered delight washed through her body.
Lightly his mouth touched hers. His lips moved over her mouth with a tender expertise that made her quiver. His warm taste was the most erotic thing she had ever experienced, and Alissa's lashes fluttered, then slowly closed. With a sigh, she swayed into his arms.
Dirk needed no more encouragement. Locking his arms around her, he pulled her up against his chest.
He deepened the kiss little by little, as though wary of going too fast for her, giving her plenty of time to accept or reject each new intimacy.
There was no question of her rejecting him. Saying no to Dirk never occurred to Alissa. She was too enthralled, too caught up in the delicious pleasure that was light-years beyond anything in her experience. The heat of his body seemed to burn her through the layers of their clothing, and the warmth was a magnet that drew her closer. She wound her arms around his neck and buried her fingers in his hair, clutching his head as she eagerly accepted the intrusion of his tongue.
She was oblivious to the raw coldness all around them. A desperate wanting heat began to coil low in her belly, firing a desire so great she was almost delirious with it. Making a frustrated little sound, she pressed against him, unable to get close enough. She wanted to mold herself to him, to sink into him, become part of him.
Dirk's hands moved restlessly over her back. He itched to touch her more intimately, but he was restricted by the tight control he kept on himself and the situation. Alissa was inexperienced and skittish. It had taken patience and finesse to reach this point; he wasn't going to risk frightening her now.
On some unconscious level, Alissa must have sensed his restraint and known that she was safe with him. She let down all her defenses and kissed him back with undisguised hunger, giving free rein to all the desire and emotions he had aroused in her over the past months, too far gone for the moment to care that he might realize that her attraction to him went beyond the merely physical.
Ah, but sex with him would be so wonderful, she thought deliriously, clinging to him. In the beginning, she and Tom had fumbled their way through the intimacies of marriage, but there would be no such awkwardness with Dirk. His experience was apparent in the tender but confident way he touched her, the ease with which he performed every caress. His expertise so thoroughly aroused her, at that moment she would have surrendered gladly to anything he wanted.
With a moan, Dirk broke off the kiss and rested his forehead against hers for a moment before grasping her shoulders and setting her away from him.
"Good night, Alissa. And this time I really mean it. If I don't put an end to this right now, while I still can, I won't be going anywhere until morning, and I don't think you're ready for that."
The statement shocked Alissa and conjured up a powerful image in her mind, and a shudder of longing ripped through her. Quickly, she snatched at her composure, pulling it around her like a cloak, and struggled to control her ragged breathing. Her entire body pulsed and burned with desire.
But he was right; they had to stop.
"Yes, of course. That is … you're right. I mean…" Thoroughly flustered, she felt her cheeks heat up and caught her bottom lip between her teeth.
Dirk's smile was wry. "I didn't know there were any women left who blushed." He touched her cheek with his fingertips. "Good night, Alissa."
"Good night," she murmured, and quickly stepped into her house and closed the door.
Inside, leaning back against the door, she closed her eyes and let her breath out in a long sigh. She couldn't believe it. She had just spent the evening with Dirk Matheson. And apparently he intended to see her again. She felt like pinching herself. It had to be a dream.
Outside, she heard an engine start, and her eyes popped open. The beams of his car's headlights made a swoop across her dimly lit living room as he backed out of her driveway. She stood absolutely still and listened to the Mercedes's purring roar fade away down the street.
Her heart pounded so hard the sound reverberated in her ears, and a giddy elation fizzed in her stomach like bubbles in champagne. She felt like a schoolgirl with her first crush as she smiled into the darkness.
This was no dream.
He had always thought of Alissa as cool and reserved, but there had been nothing cool about her tonight, Dirk thought with satisfaction as he drove away from her home. Tonight she had sparkled. Her face, usually so politely distant, had come alive while she talked.
He had enjoyed being with her, more than he could remember ever enjoying any woman's company. Tonight he had discovered that Alissa had a keen intelligence and a surprising, subtle sense of humor. He had been mesmerized by how lovely she was, with her eyes sparkling and her soft mouth curved in a smile.
For a thirty-six-year-old woman she was charmingly innocent. He supposed that was because she'd married so young and had no experience with men other than her husband. Dirk smiled, remembering how often she had blushed during the course of the evening.
In the past, he'd never given much thought to such things, but he found Alissa's innocence fiercely appealing.
Once she relaxed, she had let her guard down completely, giving no thought to playing it safe. She'd been like an open book, holding nothing back, talking freely about her past, her life, her feelings. She had answered all his questions with a refreshing openness.
It had been the same when he kissed her. She'd kissed him back with a warmth and ardor that staggered him. He had always prided himself on his control. Even when he made love to a woman, there was always a part of him that stood a little apart, a little detached. There had never been a woman in his life with whom he was so taken, who fascinated him to the point that he was totally absorbed with her. Until now.
Alissa's unquestioning response had taxed his control to the limit. The feel of her soft body pressing eagerly against him had made him forget there was a world beyond the two of them. All he could think about was the warm female body in his arms.
With many women, whatever had drawn him in the beginning quickly diminished on closer acquaintance. Not so with Alissa. Far from it; every time he saw her, the attraction intensified.
He had always thought she was lovely, even with her hair drawn back in that severe twist she favored during business hours. Now that he'd seen her with her honey-gold hair cascading around her shoulders, looking comfortable and at ease in her old sweats and woolly socks, he thought she was gorgeous. He wanted to see that glorious hair spread out on a pillow, her lips swollen from his kisses, her slender body naked and that serene face flushed with passion.
A hot tide of desire and possessiveness surged through Dirk, and he ground his teeth and gripped the steering wheel tighter.
She had responded to him in such an open and guileless manner, he knew that she would have been willing. If he had pressed just a bit harder, he would be in her bed now, feeling sated and relaxed after a round of hot, sweaty love-making, all this edgy tension that had been building in him all week, drained away. Instead, here he was driving home to that damned sterile apartment of his.
He hadn't pushed, because he was leery of scaring her away. She wasn't like the women he usually dated. Though she hid it well, there was a vulnerability about Alissa, and he sensed that she was still wary of him.
His gut told him that if he wanted an intimate relationship with Alissa, he
would have take it slow and not rush her. By nature she was a cautious woman. She was also old-fashioned. He'd have laid odds that she had been a virgin when she married Tom Kirkpatrick.
She would not enter into an affair lightly. Plus, there was the problem of them working together. In the fifteen years that he'd known her, she had always kept her private and professional lives separate. She would hate being the object of speculation and gossip.
A relationship would not be easy, but he was confident that in time he'd overcome her misgivings and be able to persuade her.
Gradually, as she became accustomed to him being around, she would relax her guard completely, and they would become lovers. After that … well, they would just have to see.
Alissa expected to be bombarded with probing questions from her friends and co-workers the instant she entered the office the next morning. They didn't disappoint her.
All four of them, Margo, Jolene, Annie and Dorothy, were waiting in the hallway on the executive floor, and the instant Alissa stepped out of the elevator, they pounced.
"There you are! It's about time!" Margo exclaimed. "Would you mind telling us exactly what the devil is going on?"
"Yeah," Dorothy chimed in. "And just where were you yesterday? I called all day long and got no answer."
"So did I," Jolene groused, and Annie added a disgruntled "Me too."
Alissa shrugged and swept past them. "I was home relaxing. I just didn't feel like talking."
She headed for the large office at the end of the hallway, but the four fell into step around her, tossing out questions as they scurried to keep up.
"Don't give us that!" Margo snapped. "Not after what we saw on that dance floor. You were dancing so close you couldn't have driven a pin between the two of you with a sledgehammer."
"Do you and Dirk Matheson have a thing going, and you didn't tell us?" Annie asked indignantly.
"No. Of course not."
"Humph. In the fifteen years you've been here, he's never asked you to dance before. So why would he suddenly start now?"