He knew his daed was right, but he wasn’t able to process his next move at the moment. He dragged himself up the stairs to his bed, but sleep eluded him. Instead, he found solace in a much-needed chat with Gott.
**********************
CHAPTER 23
**********************
Lillian woke from a fitful dream that replayed the fight between Seth and Henry. Her wind-up alarm clock beside her bed told her it was only four-thirty in the morning. Too early to get up, but too late to go back to sleep. She’d stayed home from visiting with her familye the day before, but she couldn’t do that this morning. She had bread to bake and whoopie pie orders to fill—and a student to teach. She wasn’t looking forward to facing Abby, and she hoped Seth wouldn’t bring her to the bakery the way he had the previous week.
Lillian pushed herself from her warm bed and pulled her robe tightly around her waist. At least she could make the kaffi for mamm. When she entered the kitchen, Hannah had already put the kaffi pot on to brew.
Lillian wasn’t ready to talk to her schweschder. She was angry, but she couldn’t avoid her altogether since they both still lived at home. She tried to go about her business as she readied pans and set the table in preparation for breakfast. She went for her heavy, wool cloak by the door, but Hannah stopped her short.
“I already gathered the eggs.”
Lillian moved about in silence, heating up the oven so she could make fresh muffins for her familye.
Hannah shifted in her chair. “How long are you going to go without speaking to me? You didn’t say a word to me on the way home from the skating party, and you didn’t come out of your room until after we left to go visiting yesterday.”
They’d been brought up to remain quiet rather than speak harshly to one another, and Lillian didn’t feel she could utter a word to Hannah without some measure of harshness toward her. If her schweschder hadn’t insisted on dragging her into another one of her schemes, the previous week would have gone smoothly, and Seth would probably be her beau by now. But instead, she wasn’t speaking to Hannah, and she wasn’t sure if she would ever get the chance to have another conversation with Seth as long as they lived.
Lillian mixed together a quick batter for cinnamon muffins, determined to ignore Hannah’s childish pleadings. She said a quick prayer in her head to keep from saying something she might regret later, but Hannah’s words added to the anger that roiled inside her.
Finally, she could take it no longer. “You made Seth jealous. Your plan worked—better than any of us could have imagined. Are you happy now? Or will you continue to hurt others with your schemes?”
Hannah whispered so low, it was almost inaudible.
“I never meant for anyone to get hurt—especially not my dear schweschder. I’m sorry. Will you ever be able to forgive me?”
Lillian poured the last of the batter into the second muffin tin before putting them in the oven. She didn’t dare speak, for fear she would declare aloud a refusal to forgive Hannah. She wanted to forgive her more than anything, but she couldn’t get the image of Seth’s bloody face out of her head. What should have been a magical night for her and Seth, turned out to be a nightmare because of Hannah’s foolishness.
Before walking upstairs, Lillian turned to Hannah.
“I will forgive you, but I need some time to work through my anger. I hope you’ll understand.”
Lillian didn’t wait for an answer. She’d said all she could. Now all she wanted to do was go to the bakery—her only escape at the moment.
****
Seth pulled up to the bakery to drop off Abby. As she stepped down from the buggy, he handed her a large spice box he’d had in the back. “Please give this to Lillian, and tell her I wish her a happy birthday.”
Abby pushed the box back toward him. “Tell her yourself, Onkel Seth. She isn’t going to know you care about her if you don’t give her this gift in person.”
Seth sighed. “I won’t be ready to see her until after I go to the Bishop and talk to him. I’m just not ready to face her, and I’m not even sure she will want to see me. But I still want her to know I care. So, please Abby, give her the box. I’m hoping the contents will let her know what she means to me.”
Abby reluctantly took the box after seeing the torment in her Onkel’s eyes. Somehow she had to help make this right between the two of them. She felt responsible for walking off with Henry at the skating party. If she hadn’t been so careless, her onkel wouldn’t have confronted Henry to salvage her reputation. It was her responsibility to keep her reputation intact by doing as it says in the Bible, and avoiding the appearance of wrong-doing, but she hadn’t done that. She trudged inside the warm bakery, meeting Lillian with a smile.
She held out a small package to Lillian wrapped in plain brown paper, with a bow made from raffia.
“Happy birthday!”
Lillian took the package, surprised that her apprentice had remembered her birthday. “Denki.”
She untied the raffia and un-wrapped the paper. Inside was a large, quilted square in the wedding ring pattern. She looked at Abby with obvious confusion. “I think it’s beautiful. Did you sew this?”
Abby beamed with delight. “Jah. Mamm showed me how to do it. I spent the week making it. Do you like it?”
Lillian paused. “I do like it, but I don’t understand why you would start me off on a marriage quilt when I’m not even betrothed.”
Abby smiled angelically and hooked her arm in Lillian’s as they walked into the kitchen. “I’m hoping that will change very soon.”
Lillian didn’t dare hope for such a thing anymore, but she didn’t want to hurt the young girl’s feelings. “I’ll tuck it away in my dowry for the future.”
Then Abby handed her the spice box Seth had given her. “This is from Onkel Seth. He wanted to give it to you himself, but he’s on his way to see the Bishop. He told me to wish you a happy birthday.”
Setting Abby’s gift on the counter, Lillian took the box and smiled weakly. She was unsure of how to feel about Seth ever since the fight on Saturday. She prayed the Bishop would help him without enforcing a shunning against him.
Abby waved a hand in front of Lillian. “You seem like you’re far away in your thoughts.”
Lillian smiled sadly. “I’m sorry. I was just thinking…”
“Lillian, I promised Onkel Seth I wouldn’t talk about what happened on Saturday, but there’s something I think you should know. Henry hit my onkel twice in the face before he defended himself. He didn’t start the fight—Henry did.”
Lillian sighed. “I’m sure you’re right, but we can’t condone violence in our community. The Bishop will do what’s right for your onkel and for the community.”
“But you don’t understand! Onkel Seth was defending you!”
Lillian gasped. “Me! How was he defending me?”
Abby’s gaze fell. “Henry told Onkel Seth that you two were kissing in the back of Jonathon’s buggy on the way over to the skating party. Please tell me it isn’t true!”
Lillian couldn’t breathe. She set the spice box on the counter and went to the sink and turned on the faucet. She splashed cold water on her face, fighting the tears that tightened in her throat.
Abby rushed to her side. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Maybe I should have listened to Onkel Seth and kept my mouth shut.”
Lillian took the linen towel Abby handed to her and wiped her face. “I’m glad you told me. Except now I know it’s my fault Seth was hurt.”
Abby laid a hand over Lillian’s shoulder. “It isn’t your fault at all. It’s Henry’s fault for lying. He was lying, wasn’t he?”
“Of course Henry lied. I could never kiss a man I don’t love. But your Onkel Seth didn’t believe him—did he?”
Abby shook her head frantically. “Nee. He defended you, didn’t he? But he didn’t really say, come to think of it.”
“Well he shouldn’t have defended himself against such lies. Henry’s kind
isn’t worth the fight.”
Tears rushed to Lillian’s eyes and threatened to spill over. Now she had yet another reason to feel angry. If she saw Henry anytime soon, she’d slap him across his face for telling such lies—lies that could ruin her reputation. Lies that could cause Seth not to trust her. Now more than ever she feared losing ground with him. What if a small part of him believed Henry’s lies? Then neither Seth, nor any man in the community would court her. She’d be destined to marry Henry or become a spinster.
Does that fool have any idea the damage his lies could cost me?
**********************
CHAPTER 24
**********************
Seth took a deep breath before knocking on Bishop Troyer’s door.
Mrs. Troyer opened the door with a smile.
“Kume. I’ll tell the Bishop you’re here.”
Seth fidgeted, choosing to stand rather than taking the chair Mrs. Troyer offered. Was it too late to change his mind about his inevitable confession? His hands shook as he waited for the Bishop to meet him in the small sitting room. He just wanted this to be over, and to get through it without being shunned.
Bishop Troyer entered the room with a welcoming smile. Seth knew the Bishop was a fair man, but that didn’t keep him from feeling like he could throw up his breakfast. This time, he took the chair offered to him, fearing his shaky legs would give out on him.
The aging man eased himself onto the sofa. “I suspect you’re here to make a confession. But let me save you the trouble. There isn’t much that gets by me in my own community, and I already had several visits from some of the youth that attended the skating party on Saturday night. You may not know this, but this isn’t the first scuffle Henry Graber has been into. I’ve warned his folks that since he’s past his rumschpringa, he could be excommunicated for his behavior. They have assured me the boy will be disciplined. As for the accusations against Lillian Stoltzfus, I haven’t spoken to the boy yet, but I imagine you can count on getting a visit from him with an explanation. I fully expect a public apology at Sunday’s service.”
Seth shifted uneasily in the chair. He was relieved that he wouldn’t be shunned for his part in the fight, but he had another issue that needed dealing with—his anger.
Seth cleared his throat. “There is still something I have weighing on my mind. After the fight, all I could think about was being angry with my mamm for dying and leaving me at such a young age, and having resentment toward my daed for leaning on me so much when I was too young to handle the responsibility.”
Bishop Troyer nodded his head knowingly. “Those feelings are natural, and I’m surprised they haven’t come out sooner. I spoke with your schweschder quite in length about the same issues when she returned to the community. Your daed should have leaned more on the community during his hardship. It would have saved him the heartache of losing his dochder to the Englisch, but he didn’t. I’ve discussed this with him recently. He loves both of you, and you should make an effort to forgive him—and your mamm.”
Seth nodded. There wasn’t much else to be said. But the Bishop’s word hit a nerve. If his daed had been confessing to this man, he might have even more reason to be concerned about his daed’s health.
Seth waved to the Bishop and his wife as he drove his buggy out onto the main road. Part of him wanted to go straight to the bakery and see Lillian, but he figured she might still want some distance from him after the way he acted. Mostly, he wanted to go home and have a nice long talk with his daed.
****
Lillian walked home from the bakery just before dusk. It had been a long day, and she was emotionally and physically drained. Her daed hadn’t had a chance to shovel the path from the bakery to the haus, so she was grateful she’d had the sense to wear her boots as she trudged through the deep snow. Mesmerized by the crunching and squeaking of the snow beneath her feet, she almost missed the rattle that came from the spice box she cradled in her arms. Though she’d been curious the entire day as to what was inside the gift from Seth, she’d been grateful the bakery had been too busy for her open it. Opening the box could either confirm Seth believed her, and he loved her. Or it could break her heart. Either way, she wasn’t ready to let go of the hope she desperately held onto.
Pausing for a minute on the path, Lillian listened to the coo of a snowy owl nesting in the tree above her head. His yellow eyes glowed, and his head tipped to one side as if to greet her. Lillian admired his beauty, while she whispered a prayer of thanks to Der Herr for placing such an elegant creature in her path to remind her of His grace. She needed to stop feeling sorry for herself and forgive her schweschder. She even needed to forgive Henry for the things he said about her, and for hitting Seth.
When she reached the yard, Hannah was near the large oak tree talking to Jonathon. Hannah saw her and rushed to her side, pulling Lillian into her arms. “Ach dear schweschder, Jonathon just told me about Henry’s accusations against you. I’m so sorry. I know you weren’t kissing him in the back of the buggy. But even if I hadn’t been there, I would never believe such lies about you. I’m so sorry I made you ride with him.”
Lillian hugged her schweschder tightly. “Denki. I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to have an unforgiving heart toward you.”
Hannah giggled. “I knew you would come around. I wasn’t worried. But now that I know what he said, I must go to Bishop Troyer and tell him the truth so he can discipline Henry.”
“Denki.”
“Where did you get the spice box?”
Lillian smiled shyly, heat rising in her cheeks. “It was a gift from Seth.”
“Jonathon and I will go to the Bishop now so no more time is lost. I’ll be back in time for your birthday dinner.”
Lillian’s heart felt lighter than it had in the past two days. She held fast to the spice box, feeling as though she was ready to face the contents—good or bad.
**********************
CHAPTER 25
**********************
Jonathon and Hannah drove up the lane that led to Henry’s haus. Never had Jonathon been more ashamed of his cousin than now. He’d overlooked the problems he’d had recently, writing them off as youthful mischief, but tarnishing a woman’s reputation and hitting a man who would defend her was more than Jonathon could excuse. Their plan was to confront Henry before going to the Bishop in case they had anything to confess from their unexpected visit to Jonathon’s cousin.
To the side of the barn, Henry was busy chopping wood atop a large tree stump. He stopped what he was doing and swung the ax to rest in the stump. He greeted his visitors with a forlorn expression, and with much hesitation.
When he approached the buggy, he cast his eyes downward. “I’ve been to the Bishop this afternoon, and I confessed everything to him. I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused your schweschder. I plan to make my peace with her, and I pray she will find it in her heart to forgive me. I’ll make sure Seth knows the truth too so he’ll never have to wonder if his fraa has been soiled by the likes of me.”
Hannah did a double-take of Henry’s words in her mind. “Seth and Lillian are not married. Why would you say such a strange thing?”
Henry looked Hannah in the eye. “Because I could see how much he loved her when he defended her honor. I’m sorry it took me so long to see it. I guess I acted like that because I was jealous.”
Hannah felt the heat of shame creep up her neck. She’d set out to make Seth jealous, and it ended up being Henry that was driven to jealousy. “I’m sorry for trying to pair the two of you when I knew how she felt about Seth. She’s tried to hide her feelings from me for a long time, but I know my schweschder better than she knows herself sometimes. I’m sorry for putting you in the middle of my schemes. I never thought it would cause so much harm.”
Henry smiled. “In a way I’m glad the whole thing happened. If not for facing excommunication, I wouldn’t have taken such a soulful look at my life. After talking to the Bishop, I’ve de
cided to take the baptism.”
Jonathon clapped a hand on Henry’s shoulder.
“That’s wunderbaar, cousin. I’m froh you have decided to stay in the community. If not, you would have been missed.”
“You’re not ashamed to call me cousin?”
Jonathon smiled. “Nee. I’m proud to call you cousin. But if you have any more troubles, ask me for help. I’ll be there for you. That’s what familye does.”
“Denki for being so lenient with me.”
Jonathon helped Hannah back into the buggy. She needed to get home for her schweschder’s birthday party, and she had an even better gift of this unexpected visit to give than what she’d made for her.
****
Seth toyed with the idea of going to see Lillian for her birthday, but after Abby gave him the news that she hadn’t opened his gift, he figured he’d give her some more time before he tried to talk to her. He was grateful she’d accepted the gift rather than turning it away as he’d feared she might. Right now, though, he would work on making the first of four chairs for the lobby of her bakery. He still held out hope that she’d come by to see his work on Wednesday. Until then, he would carve the chairs with all the love he held in his heart for her. It no longer mattered what happened or didn’t happen with Henry. He loved her, and he was determined to put this matter behind him.
****
Lillian placed the spice box on her bed and sat beside it. Fear and excitement gripped her, playing tug-of-war with her heart. She loved Seth, but if the contents of the box proved nothing more than a gift of friendship it could crush her. Reaching a shaky hand toward the box, she said a quick prayer for strength. A note lay just inside the box atop a fold of blue material, the same color as the dress Hannah had made for her. Lillian’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of it, but she picked up the note nonetheless.
Amish Winter Wonderland: BOOK TWO (Jacob's Daughter, An Amish, Christian Romance) Page 8