First things first though—her mother had to go.
“Go. Away.” Stupid, traitorous tears, they’d somehow trickled down her face even after she’d squeezed her lids together. “Please Mom, just…let it go, and walk away.”
“I’m so sorry, honey…”
Nodding her understanding towards her mother, she tore her gaze away without another word. David was all she could focus on now. He was all she cared about anymore. Besides that, their conversation was by far too heavy to have an audience.
“David listen to me, and listen to me good…” she bit her lip, inhaled through her nose, before spilling her tiny, miniscule secret. Although to a lot of people, it wouldn’t be tiny or miniscule. “I have only had sex with one boy in my life…” She blew out a stream of air, pressing her forehead back against his. He didn’t speak. Nor did he even seem to be breathing. Crap. What would he say now?
It was the truth though—beyond the truth actually. Abigail talked a lot of game the past few years about flingers and sex and stuff; talked herself up like she was a happy whore. Maybe she did it out of spite and to make David jealous. Or maybe she didn’t want to come across as innocent, because innocent left her vulnerable to emotions she didn’t like to share. But all that time, all her life, her virginity had been David’s to take, whether he wanted it or not.
And he had, dammit. Only, instead of giving her a few memories, he gave her a very unexpected and lifelong surprise. How in the hell she’d gotten unlucky enough to lose her virginity and get pregnant during the first go around though, was beyond her.
“No…” his voice was filled with a whispered disbelief. She fought a sad smile, nodding against him.
“Yes…”
Sinfully long eyelashes beat down on his cheeks, and she pulled back to look down at them in all their girly glory. The hallway nightlight shone through the small space, and she had never loved the dark shadowed area as much as she did in that simple moment. Because there, in that one period of time, she was able to see his innocence, his knowingness, the escape of his fear, and the release of his bitter anger.
“David, don’t you get it here?” Trembling, she tightened her hold on his arms as she spoke, “You are the father of my tiny bean.” There, she’d done it. She’d told him.
God, please, let him accept this. Let one good thing come out of this crappy day…please.
“I…I…I don’t know how to be a dad, Abigail. And according to my father, I can’t even take care of myself anymore.” Eyebrows pressed together, she pulled his chin up with her finger, taking in his sullen, feel–sorry–for–me expression.
No. No, fucking way. She wasn’t standing for this. She wouldn’t let him just sit there and play this game with her or anyone else for that matter. He would be the man she knew he could be. He no longer had a choice in the matter.
“I don’t know how to be a mother either. I haven’t exactly had the best role model, you know.”
Throwing his head back against the wall, he reached for her hands, but stared up at the ceiling. Okay, this was a good sign, a sign she could work with. And the most important thing was that he hadn’t run away yet. Nor did he cry, or yell at her either.
“I’m so sorry…” she froze, gripping his fingers tighter within hers. “For your parents…for everything you just found out.”
Throwing her head back for a different reason than his, she laughed. It felt so damn good to let another emotion take over her body, even if she wasn’t really feeling it. “Shit, David, I have parents. Your parents.”
Shrugging, he lowered his head and found her gaze again. In his eyes sat intensity that was scary and knowing. But she didn’t look away. She’d never back down. She’d be his rock, and unknowing to him, he was hers. Always had been and no matter what happened, the two of them would make it through the ups and downs coming their way, even if they had to break a little more to make it to the end of their happily ever after.
Chapter Twenty
He was going to be a father…
The mother of his impending child was also the love of his life…
And as messed up as this whole idea was, he couldn’t help but smile as he slipped away from her bed that very next morning.
She was gorgeous—and his—in every sense. He just had to somehow prove to himself that that he deserved her and everything she had suddenly given to him. Her virginity included in that.
Damn. He never in his life expected to hear that truth. Not that he was going to complain or anything… Just knowing that she’d waited for him was a privilege in itself; knowing that her body had been his, and no one else’s. He shuddered at the thought of kissing her neck, touching her breasts, feeling how perfect he fit inside of her. Jesus, he needed to leave before he did it again.
Now it was time to take the next step in his pursuit at making her happy. And he’d do everything in his God–given power to be the man she deserved—the man he’d always intended to be—pre–accident that is. A father, a provider, someone for a child to look up to… Shit. A child. His child. Yeah, that would take a whole lot of getting used to. Granted, he was in no way, shape, or form ready to be that sort of man, but for Abigail and their baby, he would, even if he had to climb hurdles, or walls, or mountains to get there.
He feathered light kisses over her forehead before he pulled back. Staring down at the beauty that lay sleeping soundly under the covers of her bed was his morning’s guilty pleasure. Abigail’s normally pale face was flushed and a look of contentment slid over her mouth when she sighed in her sleep. Her hands were tucked under the side of her cheek, and her long hair was layered just over the side of her face, falling around her like a golden waterfall on her pillow. She was the most stunning creature he’d ever seen, and walking away from her was going to kill him, even if it was for only a seven hour span this time.
But the fact of the matter was it was Tuesday and he had to face the day ahead. But knowing that she would be waiting for him at the end made it all worth it.
Luckily, he’d texted JT for a ride to school, and Mr. Skater had readily agreed to be his chauffeur for the morning. He wasn’t about to call his dad, or his mom either. There was a part of him, a huge part actually, that wanted to avoid the reality of what he’d have to face when he confronted his parents again. Seeing his mother, knowing that she was terminally sick with only months ahead of her to live, made him desperate to avoid the inevitable that he would be bombarded with when he walked through the front door of his house. And too, maybe he hoped if he didn’t go home, then he would just wake up from this piss–poor nightmare—one that just ended where his life was about to begin.
Shaking the morbid thoughts from his head, he edged his way to Abigail’s door, leaving a simple I love you note in his wake on her pillow. The new, life–changing information she’d thrown at him last night made him all the more excited about planning their first official date. It would be a momentary escape from the crap news they’d both received the day before, even if it was only temporary. They both needed it, badly, and out of all the things he could have asked for—being normal and knowing that one simple date with the girl he was in love with—was all he needed to grasp hold of that normalcy. It made the process of getting out of bed doable, too.
The rumble of JT’s engine sounded from outside the house, and he slipped through the front door minutes later, thankful that he didn’t have to come face to face with Mrs. Zane in the process. The woman had always rubbed him the wrong way; even before he knew what she and her fake husband had done to Abigail, he’d still been unable to trust her. Anyone who would treat their daughter the way she did—lie to her for all those years—was not going to be on his favorites list. Yeah, he was sure they probably had some shit reason and all for what they did to her, but Abigail would never fall for it. She was stubborn, hard, and a brave girl after his own heart.
He grinned, imagining her shadowed eyes staring down at him as he held her captive against the wall of her room las
t night. She sure as hell wasn’t hard when she was with him…putty in his hands, deliciousness in his mouth…
“Dude, you look like you just got some ass.”
Rolling his eyes, David slipped his sunglasses on, tucking his crutch into his lap as he sat in the passenger seat. “Fuck off, dude. You don’t want to go there with me right now.”
Chuckling, JT shrugged, turning up the stereo to a head– and skull–pounding level. Christ, he liked the guy, but this loud music had to go, otherwise the pain already stirring behind his eyes would erupt into something he didn’t want to deal with. “Turn it down. I can’t hear myself think with that shit on.”
“Damn, dude, sorry.”
Leaning back with a satisfactory sigh, David shut his eyes, continuing with his memory; picturing Abigail standing before him last night—naked, vulnerable, and downright sexy in her simple, white panties. That had to have been the hottest thing he’d ever seen. Abigail unleashed a beast in him, made him forget everything else in the world, but her. Unfortunately though, he was physically going to pay for their wild adventure today. His thigh was sore from bearing the extra weight of her tiny body against him. His stub was raw from the constant motion of rocking into her too. But he smiled, and shook his head, staring out the window of the car.
Hell yeah, a little pain was so fucking worth it.
“So, I got a new job. Pays a hundred bucks for two hours a night.”
Coming to attention, David turned to face his friend, pissed for the daydream interruption, but curious at the same time. “Two hours, a hundred bucks?” He needed money like that, sooner rather than later preferably. His new responsibility arriving in seven months needed to be taken care of. “Where at? Are they hiring?”
Snorting, JT tapped another annoying beat onto the wheel with his fingers. “Umm, not sure if you want this job, dude. But yeah, I am looking for someone to go along with me.”
Eyes narrowing, David growled, “What? Is it illegal or something? Drugs? A male Hillsdale hooker?”
“Uh, no, not illegal, not a hooker either, smart ass. Just…not…manly,” he blew out a breath, his wheel tapping ceased as he glanced over at him from the corner of his eye. “More like…” He paused, seeming to ponder his words before he spoke them aloud. David continued to stare at him, waving his hands in a circle, urging him along, all too annoyed with his beat around the fucking bush game.
“Just say it. I don’t give a shit if you have to sell tampons or wipe asses for a living. Tell me, because at this point, any job would be better than having no job.”
“Fine, fine…Okay, I got the job from my aunt. She’s kind of a bitch, but she’s rich and it pays well and has all these connections so—”
“And…?”
“I work for the flower shop down on Main. I um…send telegrams. Deliver shit to the kids at the hospital…wear a costume…”
“That doesn’t sound bad.”
“Well, I have to dress like a…”
Leaning forward in anticipation, David waited for him to finish. He was annoying as hell. But his face…it was red, and he was obviously embarrassed. What the hell was embarrassing about a job as a flower delivery telegram dude? It didn’t sound too crappy.
“Like a what? What do you have to dress like? Do you wear a monkey suit? Bowtie? What is it?”
“A clown, dammit. I have to dress, like a fucking clown.”
“A clown…” disbelief filled David’s voice, and his hands froze in midair at the announcement.
“God, are you deaf, David? That’s what I said!” Voice angry, he leaned forward and rested his elbows on the steering wheel as they headed into the parking lot a few minutes later. “And before you get all judgmental and shit on me, just know it’s for a good cause and remember it pays really well.”
David was being judgmental—there was no doubt about it. And keeping his laughter locked tight in his chest as a vision of this long haired, pierced skater guy waltzing into the hospital with a giant red wig, nose and clown shoes, was damn near impossible.
Oh hell, that vision was the funniest thing he’d thought about in weeks. “So,” David laughed harder, tucking his arm over his stomach to keep the ache away, “what do you do then, make balloon animals for the old people? Do a tap dance for the nurses?” Yeah, he was being a dick. But what JT didn’t know was that this was the best damn cure to his woes, ever. Laughter and David did not get along. It was like he’d forgotten how to do it sometimes.
“God, you idiot! I thought you, of all people, would be a little cooler about this. You know, with your leg and all…”
That sobered his laughter up pretty damn quick. All of it, slipped from his throat, and buried itself down deep into his chest, locking away for the next rare moment when it found its way out again. He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back against the seat. Talk about making a guy feel like a total douche.
“Sorry…it’s just…you caught me off guard. And I needed the laugh. I wasn’t laughing at the job though,” his forehead throbbed and he pinched the bridge of his nose, willing it away. “I just…can’t see you doing it. That’s all. Sorry…”
“Hey, no worries man, everyone else would still be laughing. You at least stopped.”
“Well, I try not to judge too much,” even though he clearly just did.
“That’s one of the things I like about you, man. You don’t judge.”
Shaking his head, David smiled at the guy he never envisioned himself being friends with. Who would have thought he’d find solace in someone like this? “Enough with the emotional stuff—tell me more about this…job opening.” Hell, where was this coming from? Could he really dress up like a clown and deliver shit in a hospital?
“It’s not an easy shindig, trust me. You gotta go in there…see all these sick kids… Try to make them smile by acting like a dumbass. It’s not hard to do, trust me, but some of them look real bad, man, with their bald heads and all. But they’re still so fucking happy, diseases and everything because none of them really get that they might not go home again.”
A vice grip, choking sensation grabbed hold of David’s throat as he stared down at his lap. His fingers tightened together, and his stomach flipped in about fifty million directions. Jesus… Talk about going from a high to a low. Happy fucking Monday.
“And they look forward to seeing me too, and I feel like a fucking pussy telling you this man, but yeah, I kind of….I kind of like it.”
Well, that was not what he expected to hear.
Liked it? For real? Who would like that? Seeing all that misery on a day in/day out basis? Not his ideal job, that was for sure. He cleared his throat, trying to seem nonchalant about the whole conversation. But the more he sat there, the more something inside of him clicked. Another focus… Another purpose… No. Hell no. He could never do that—never subject himself to going to a hospital on a volunteer basis, even if he got paid.
But five minutes later, as they were parking, his body sunk low in the seat as he thought about what exactly he would say to a dying child…or a child who lost a limb like he had.
“I need a partner in crime, David.”
Crap. He couldn’t do it. “I’m not funny. I don’t laugh.”
He arched his eyebrows, “You just did!”
Dammit, this guy annoyed the piss out of him. “That never happens, trust me. It was a fluke.”
“Well, dude, maybe if you laughed a little bit more, then you’d stop being so fucking moody all the time.”
He ignored the dig, he deserved it. “And I have a tendency to scare kids,” which was a very true fact indeed. Most of the time, kids took one look at him, and ran to hide behind their mom’s leg. He had a five o’clock shadow that wouldn’t leave no matter how many times he shaved. His dark eyes had been called devilish, and with his moody attitude, he held that title well enough.
But one hundred bucks for a few hours of playing with kids, in a clown suit? Damn, that would buy a whole hell of a lot of diape
rs…
Turning back to face him, he felt his head nod before he had a chance to think his answer through. And then his mouth opened, before he could stop the words. “All right. I’ll do it.” Christ, what was he saying?
“No shit? You’ll seriously be a clown for the cancer kids?”
Cancer? Hell, he didn’t tell him the kids had fucking cancer! That changed the whole game plan here. Because if he was at a hospital, hanging out with cancer–stricken kids all day, then all he’d be able to think about was how his mother was at home…dying of the same bitch disease that the little kids suffered from too.
Could he do it? Could he let the pain take him away at work, as well as at home?
And that’s when thoughts of Abigail and their baby ran through his mind. Yeah…for their family, he could do anything. He sighed to himself at the words their family. Such a scary–ass concept…but one that made his heart flip–flop in excitement anyways.
“Hey, you kind of went somewhere just now, David. You coming back anytime soon, cuz we gotta get to class now.”
No…yes…hell, he didn’t know shit anymore. “Uh, yeah, sorry,” he ran a hand through his hair, stepping out onto the blacktop parking lot.
“Okay then, when can you start? Tomorrow? Tonight? I need you dude. My aunt will like you with…” he motioned down at his prosthetic, “you know, with the leg thing and all. It’ll make the kids feel better too knowing you’re messed up like they are.”
Nice tact. This guy had none. Zero. But he was used to the bluntness. He growled, shaking his head. He had to do something for cash, even if it wasn’t much. “Yeah, count me in…tomorrow though. I’ve got a date tonight.”
“Oh yeah? With that little sexy blonde—”
“Shut your trap. She’s not just some sexy blonde. She’s…” What was she exactly? His? A best friend…? His lover…? His girlfriend…? The future mother of his child…? He sighed as they entered building three. Abigail was a complex puzzle piece to his disorganized life, that’d be the perfect description for her right now. But truth be told, when it came down to that one all important word, he knew there was only one way to describe her: His.
A Long Time Coming Page 18